The room was still dark, though she instantly became aware of strong light sneaking through the edges of the drawn curtains. For a moment, panic swelled inside her at the drawn curtains - something she never did - and the now unfamiliar room. Then she remembered last night, or it might've been this morning.

All Cari wanted was to bury herself in bed, to lose her tired body in sleep but she wasn't in her home. A glance at the clock showed her it was already 10:23 and she never slept this long, no matter how tired she was. With some effort she levered herself out of the bed. She had to brace herself against the wall as a dizzy spell washed over her. They'd been happening more frequently this year.

Once the spell was over, she relied on the walls and furniture to hold her up as she made her way to the bathroom. Ten years ago, it had held her favorite products, her spare robe hooked to the door and a spare toothbrush for her. The bedroom had been designed with her taste in mind and the closet had held some of her clothes. No more.

It was now all designed with the blandness people used for a guestroom. She found a new toothbrush on top of some clothes that had been left for her. Opening it up with trembling hands, Cari brushed her teeth before taking a quick shower.

She felt refreshed afterwards but the clothes turned out to be a nightmare. They were meant to be figure hugging, in the size she should have been. As she looked at them, she realized they were her clothes even though she'd never worn them. She remembered buying them with Anne a few weeks before her friend abandoned her.

Cari was still curvy, her hips had never yielded to any diet or exercise and her chest was still as ample. Yet somehow she'd lost too much weight. The baggy clothes she'd taken to wearing had hidden how skinny her waist had become, how her ribs were now showing and how stick like her legs were.

Wearing her former style showed all that. The skinny jeans were tight around her hips, but otherwise baggy. Which was a really weird thing and looked even worse. The stretch top somehow clung to her even as it appeared also baggy. In short, she looked awful. Like someone who'd shopped in the lost and found basket.

Now Cari really wanted to bury herself away, but then what was one more humiliation? She was sure in no time the whole pack would know her shame. From the mirror, dry eyes that wanted to cry but had no more moisture looked back at her. Haunted eyes in a gaunt face that showed so much weariness.

With a weary sigh, she walked away from her depressing self and out the room. There was no point in hiding. She met no one but halfway down the stairs she heard raised voices coming from the back of the house. From the formal sitting room.

Too tired and cowardly Cari turned to go to the kitchen and see if she could manage to swallow something. In all these years her appetite had died and even when she forced herself to eat the food seemed to do her no good.

As she entered the kitchen, she found herself enveloped in warm soft arms that held her as if she were precious. "Oh my sweet girl, I missed you." The pack member who'd cooked for the Gamma family as long as Cari could remember sniffed as she held her longer.

"Now, I've made something for you to eat." She continued as she she drew away and wiped the tears on her face. "Come, sit." She drew Cari to one of the island stools.

Obediently she did. The woman busied herself, pouring some juice for her and taking out a ready made plate from the warmer and setting it before an uncomfortable Cari. She had known this woman so well at one point, had loved her like another grandmother. But in the last decade Cari had distanced herself from the pack. She hadn't even known her grandfather had wanted to mate her off.

"Thank you." She said in a rough and timid voice, so unlike who she had been when she'd known this woman.

Tears once more welled into the woman's eyes and she sniffed avoiding Cari's gaze. Her hand brushed through Cari's now dull locks as a mother would to comfort a hurt child then she straightened and squared her shoulders.

"Now drink your juice first. It has spices meant to perk up that appetite of yours, okay."

"Yes." Cari agreed and dutifully took a sip.

It was tangy, spicy but still refreshing. It coated her tongue and seemed to revive her taste so that she craved more. "Good." The woman approved as Cari drank it all down.

As she looked at her overly full plate, Cari found she actually had an appetite. Was the juice something given to people in her circumstances? While the cook watched her she found herself wolfing down the food. She might have finished the whole plate if it weren't for the voice that intruded.

"Leave us." Her visitor commanded of the cook whose features when Cari looked at her were now turned to stone with disapproval. Her lips pressed together as if to stop her bitter words as she complied.

"I'm sorry Cari," her sister said as she threw herself onto the stool next to her. Even that action was graceful.

Her pleading sky blue eyes had a hint of tears that she masterfully kept at bay and so much pain was in them. Even her lip trembled pitifully. "I never meant to hurt you." She stated. "Grandpa and the Alpha came to me and told me I'd be a better luna. And since we're twins my mate would be coming soon after you met yours and you could have him since twins can exchange mates. But he never came."

Cari had thought she knew pain, betrayal. After all, her own grandparents had been the ones to tell her how worthless she was and how she didn't deserve her mate. Well, her paternal ones, but those were the ones she lived with. Now, knowing that her own sister, the person who had always been her best friend, had done this to her. Had cut her so deep and believed her so inadequate was more pain than she'd ever endured.

Claire had to know how painful it would be to Cari when she made love with Xander. Every werewolf knew about that. Yet few nights had gone by that she hadn't caused Cari pain. Which meant she hadn't cared.

"Why?" was all she could say, in a tone that was lifeless though she wanted to scream her anguish to her twin.

With admirable grace a single tear ran down her twin's fashionably hollow cheek. Her wide sorrowful eyes begged for understanding. The quiver of her lip was also designed to garner sympathy. At least now Cari thought so. Her sister had to be a great actress.

Since Cari had always lacked the were senses, she wouldn't have known how much her twin lied to her. Or maybe Claire really believed in her lies to the extent her scent wouldn't show. Which would make her a sociopath.

"Get away from her." their mother demanded in a harsh absolute tone Cari had never heard from her.

Blood drained from her face, bitterness pooled at her throat that she had to swallow before she threw up. Her hands shook as the tears she'd thought dried up clogged her throat and welled up her eyes. One blink would be all it'd take for them to flow. Keeping them open so they'd dry Cari lowered her head in shame.

"Mum," Claire said in her soothing voice the crack of tears gone, Cari realized "there's no need to talk to Cari like that."

"I meant you." their mother's still harsh voice corrected.

"Wha.a.a..?" the pure shock in her sister's tone mirrored hers.

Cari had gotten used to her mum being proud of Claire and thinking the worst of her. True whilst they were growing up she'd never played favorites but her joy at having Claire as a luna and thinking Cari jealous had soured their relationship.

"I've never been ashamed of any of my children until now." their mother stated to both her daughters' continued shock. Claire especially looked stricken. "What kind of a woman takes another woman's mate? Let alone her sister's? Her twin sister's?"

"Xander and I always thought that I'd be his mate and the Alpha and grandpa said so too."

"Which makes your sister better than you since I doubt that reasoning would've been enough to convince her had she been in your shoes."

Claire recoiled from that, her crystalline blue eyes watering again. "I..."

Their mother didn't let her finish. "How many times did you sleep with her mate in the last ten years?" she demanded. "This month? Did you stop to think of the pain you were causing your sister?"

"Claire is my mate." Xander's angry voice came in from behind their mother.

Cari couldn't help looking up at him. Even though his eyes when they met hers were as cold as ever, she felt the flutter of attraction that'd always plagued her with him. He was as good looking as ever, tall, muscled with striking dark features. Sensuous lips she'd always wanted to kiss were drawn thinner with contempt as his amber eyes shifted to their mum.

"Your luna. You will treat her with respect." he commanded.

"No." their mum declared. "She lost all respect when she took her sister's mate, so did you for allowing it to be."

Xander drew himself up in outrage, his eyes turning glacial. "Enough!" he demanded. "You might be the mother of my mate, but one more word from you and you'll be thrown into the dungeons."

The beta female opened her mouth to defy the second alpha but Claire intervened. "Mother please don't." she pleaded.

The beta turned sorrowful eyes to her older daughter. "I don't think I can stand to have you call me that." she said, quiet anguish in her tone. "Every time you say it, all I can think of is how I must have failed you to turn you into this. It reminds me of all the time I failed your sister and how you stood by and did nothing."

A gasp escaped her sister, a small sound of deep hurt that would've had Cari doing her best to soothe her but she found she had nothing left to give. The moment hung there, as if Claire was waiting to see who would answer her artistic cry for attention. Or maybe Cari had not only lost her ability to feel but she'd now become cynical.

She glanced at Xander and wished she hadn't. He glared his hatred at their mother, his tanned face mottled with anger. "Take her." he commanded his beta, their brother Trip, and gamma. Both young men stood stock still, shocked. "Now!" the alpha command rippled through the room and the two went to take the female beta's arms.

Trip looked sickened, like he was fighting the command, but a were could never disobey an alpha command. It wasn't something alphas used lightly, a command so absolute that it seeped into the very bones of a were and stripped them of any will to do otherwise. It undermined a pack member but it also took a lot out of the alpha who issued it.

As he had when he'd commanded her not to tell anyone they were mates, Xander fell back against the wall. His hateful gaze bored into Cari's pained ones without pity. It even seemed as if he was telling her he was doing all this to cause her more pain. As if now that her mother was supporting her, he'd make her suffer knowing Cari would blame herself.

Her mother stood her ground against the two strong men, managing to take the step that separated her from Cari. Their eyes met, full of tears. "No child of mine has ever made me as proud as you have." she stated and Cari could see the depth of that pride in the brown eyes so like her own. "You are so strong." she choked out. "Stronger than anyone I've ever met to survive all you have. I hope you get rewarded for all your strength."

Cari couldn't help looking at her siblings at her mother's words. While Trip looked even more sickened, ashamed and full of self recriminations Claire looked on with hate. Fear washed over Cari as for the first time in her life she realized how much her sister hated her.

She wanted to believe the hate had sprung up because of what their mother had just said, but she couldn't lie to herself. What she saw in the eyes of her sister was too deep sited to be the work of a moment. It was loathing that wanted to reduce her to nothing, anger that promised retribution.

Now she understood how her sister had known she caused her pain but never even gave a single thought to her. What could Cari have done to have her hate her so? Hadn't she sacrificed her future so Claire and their pack could have the best? Yes she hadn't been given a choice but she could've appealed to the Alpha king. Not even an alpha command could stop her from that.

The worst of it was, her sister's hate vanished a moment after their eyes met but it was too late. Claire though didn't realize it and gave her a tremulous smile, as if she were in so much pain and was helpless to it. It was the kind of helpless look she'd given all her life. The emotional blackmail that had nothing to do with her acknowledged skill as a fighter.

How had Cari never seen it? How long had her sister hated her and why? What could she possibly have done? Lowering her eyes she blinked them to stop herself from crying. She was aware the people in the room continued talking but all she heard was a rushing in of some inner wind that reminded her of driving through a tunnel with the top off.

Everything was crushing down on her so fast. Her world became even more of a nightmare than she could ever have imagined. There seemed nothing left to hold on to and she was too tired. She just needed to let go, Cari realized.

A touch, gentle and loving raised her chin until she looked into her human grandmother's serene eyes. "Hold on child," she encouraged. "I told you once that your mate would be worth a thousand when you found him."

That had been at Xander and Claire's mating ceremony. As then, the words were a hot poker piercing her raw heart. Knowing that Xander was her mate and the most eligible wolf but had chosen another. Why would her grandma chose to remind her now.

"You will be loved and envied by all in our kingdom." She stated in that eerie way she had then.

That was the thing that made weres accept human mates, all of them came with a gift that natural born weres could never have. Her grandmother had the gift of knowing. A gift that allowed her to know and state beyond the shadow of doubt what would be. To know to do or not to do certain things. On the day Claire had taken her mate, Cari had stopped believing her grandmother.

"I don't believe you." She replied.

"I know. But know that those who've hurt you so much have already lost more than they will bear when they find out."

No one in the kitchen said a thing, the silence that followed was so thick with tension that it felt like a single word would ignite it. "I don't believe you." Cari whispered again. Her words seemed to puncture the tension but she wasn't sure if it made it worse or better.

"Reality is and will be regardless of what we believe."

"You'll be leaving with your grandmother Cari, while we sought this mess out." She looked to the kitchen door to see the grim faced first alpha there.

"Dad.." Xander started to protest.

"No." The alpha declared, his voice a whiplash that denied disobedience. "I've never been so ashamed of you like this before." He said to his son whose face hardened. The alpha turned back to Cari. "I'm so sorry Cari, I didn't know but that's no excuse. I should've protected you."

The tears she'd been fighting overwhelmed her and fell, though she didn't make a sound. Relief melded with the shame that was constant in her until she was speechless.

"I can't release you from my father's command that you remain a member of the pack but I can give you a reprieve. You will stay with your grandparents' pack until the king rules upon this."

"What?!" Claire asked in alarm as Xander drew in a sharp breath.

The alpha looked at Cari's sister with mild contempt. "You broke a fundamental were law. An exchange of mates between twins should be agreed on by all four. Did you think you're above the law? The king has already agreed to send a representative."

Even Cari could taste the raw fear that polluted the air. She looked at her sister's stark fear and her mate's attempt to hide his in anger. "Oh and Xander?" The alpha called over his shoulder as he turned."

"Yes father." He grit out.

"Release your mother-in-law. The last thing you need is to appear even more foolish than you already are." The hatred Xander shot at her then his father chilled her to the bone. "Coming Cari?" The alpha asked and she stood from her stool to obediently follow.