I'm officially smitten with Jennie.

I actually like someone for the first time ever. Honestly, I tried to convince myself otherwise, but that just wasn’t an option after last night. She’s been away on business for the last three days, speaking at conventions about her line of work and I’ve been just aching to see her. After our adventurous little movie night, she and I joined Jisoo and Chaeyoung back in the living room and she played with my fingers under the blanket the entire time. It was adorable. I’m sure we would’ve had an even more special night but my friends ended up staying over and Jennie admitted doing as much would be too tempting for her. She sat through a second movie with us before she finally made her way home. At the door, though, she looked at me with such longing and affection. I knew she wanted to kiss me goodbye, but with the other two just a few feet away, it wasn’t really an option. Instead, she took my hand in hers and gave it a light squeeze and then left. That’s how she got me.

She’s been calling me these past few days just to hear my voice. I’d love to say that there’s some substance to our relationship, something other than just sex, but that wouldn’t be true. I don’t even know if it would be accurate to call what we have a ‘relationship’… Our conversations always entail her asking about my progress and me telling her in great detail. She’ll ask what I might be interested in trying next and I’ll tell her I don’t know. She wants me to tell her what I want and I’m pretty sure the answer to that is simple at this point. I want her. I don’t care what we’re going, I just want to be doing it with her.

What’s been bothering me ever since movie night is the fact that whenever we’re not together, she’s treating me like one of her clients. I know I’m not the most experienced person when it pertains to dating, but she can’t think what we have is just business, can she? Would it be wrong of me to ask her? To confront her about this? For whatever reason, the thought of discussing our ‘relationship’ with her is terrifying to me. If it so happens that she is thinking of me as ‘just another client’, I think I might be crushed.

I don’t know. She said she was planning to call me again tonight, so maybe I’ll talk to her about it then. God, the last thing I want to come off as is clingy. I don’t want her to think that I’m giving her an ultimatum. If it turns out we are nothing more than client and therapist, I have to be okay with that. We can continue on as we’ve been and I will not complain.

Thankfully, I’ve got Jisoo and Chaeyoung to distract me while Jennie is away. This is a great development since I have recently been doing a lot of bathing, having discovered how beneficial my shower-head can be. The latter of the two called me earlier to suggest we hang out for the night and I definitely didn’t protest. The three of us haven’t had time alone together in a few weeks and it’s definitely long overdue. I realize that they can both be incessantly annoying sometimes, but they never cease to entertain me with their crazy shenanigans. They were, after all, the defining reason I scheduled an appointment with Jennie in the first place.

Finally reunited for what I hope will be an eventful night, the three of us trail off into Chae's car and head off to a disclosed location.

“Where are we going?” I pry, poking my head in between the two front seats. I can already tell they’re up to something as the smirk on Chae's face becomes more evident. She glances at Jisoo sitting next to her quickly before turning her attention back to the road. “Seriously… Why are the two of you acting so weird?” Jisoo cannot stop smiling.

“Weird how?” Chae's questions innocently, causing Jisoo to choke back her laughter.

“You’re both clearly hiding something…” I concede, looking between the two of them. “I’m going to find out sooner or later, so you may as well just tell me.”

"Right, Lisa. We’re almost there. You’ll find out soon,” Chaeyoung says, flashing me a bright smile through the rearview mirror.

I begin to think of all the possibilities of our destination. The last time they tried to surprise me on a night out, it was my birthday and I was forced to sit awkwardly through a lapdance carried out by a male stripper. It was the most uncomfortable three minutes of my life and afterwards he had the nerve to ask me for a tip! I mean, I gave him the tip… But he still shouldn’t have asked.

As we barrel down the road, Chaeyoung making turns left and right, I feel my phone vibrate in my back pocket. I slide it out and stare down at the screen as my eyes meet with a new text from Jennie. I smile and unlock my phone, reading her words over and over again.

“I can’t wait to see you again…”

“Who are you texting, Lisa?” Jisoo questions, staring at me through the rearview, a huge grin plastered on her face.

“It’s just Jennie,” I reply, doing my best to mask the feelings her text elicits.

Jisoo and Chae exchange another glance, each matching the goofy smile on the other’s face, causing Jisoo to fall into a giggling fit. I ignore them, as this behavior is not far from normal. But really, what is so funny about me texting Jennie? I wonder what I should text back. This would be much simpler if I knew the undertone of her message. What is she trying to hint? Is it that she would like to be intimate with me again or that she simply misses my presence in her life? What’s more confusing is that I don’t know which I would prefer. I’d love for it to be the latter, as the thought of Jennie enjoying my company enough to want to spend time with me is a very satisfying thought. Though on the other hand, my body is hoping she’s been thinking about our next sexual encounter. Can’t it just be a perfectly balanced mixture of both?

“I can’t wait to see you, either ;)" I send, immediately regretting that painfully obvious emoji I added at the end. If Jennie wasn’t thinking about having sex with me before, I’m pretty sure she is now.

"Tell me what you want to do when I get back." She texts. Okay, I really wish she would take advantage of her panel of emoticons at this point. I have no way of deciphering the meaning behind her words and it’s driving me crazy.

My first thought makes me smile. We could go out for a beautiful candlelit dinner and enjoy each other’s company all through the night. We would make our way back home, our hands entwined, swinging back and forth as we near my apartment door, and cuddle in front of the fireplace, even though I don’t actually have a fireplace. It’s still a cute thought. Then, we’d end the night sharing tender kisses in front of the imaginary fire until we fell asleep in each other’s arms.

My next thought, however, sends waves of heat coursing through my body. In this scenario, she shows up at my front door, fresh from the airport. There is virtually no hesitation. She would rush in without so much as a ‘Hello' and immediately begin disrobing me. Our lips would find each other’s and she would grope at every inch of my curves with vigor. We wouldn’t make it to the bedroom. The sense of urgency would be too strong. Instead, I would find my legs wrapped around her waist before I’m slammed against a nearby wall. Her hands would make a rough trail up my shirt and cup my breasts, squeezing harshly before disconnecting our lips and pulling my shirt over my head. We’d both be panting heavily by this point, struggling for breath, but she wouldn’t digress for even a moment. Her lips would find my neck, leaving a mess of wet kisses along the length of it, sucking gently whenever it felt necessary. Finally, a free hand would make it’s way down to my rapidly pulsing center and subsequently thrust two fingers inside, wasting no time. She would pump in and out of me forcefully, using her thumb to play with my clit, and I would be writhing under her touch, grasping her shoulders for dear life. I wouldn’t have to stifle my moans, loud and frequent, as we’re finally alone together in the privacy of my apartment. Eventually, as her fingers probe deeper, harder, faster, I would come undone in her arms.

Before I can recoil myself and respond to her message, I see that we have finally arrived at our destination, as Chae pulls into the parking lot of a rather frilly looking store. I look out my window at the bright neon sign in front of the store and read 'CL’s Playhouse’. The building is quaint little one-story painted a deep shade of red with two large windows on either side of the entrance door. I can’t see inside of the windows as they have a very prominent red tint, disrupting the view of shop’s contents.

We each unbuckle our seatbelts and exit the car, ascending towards the entrance of the strange shop. Chaeyoung and Jisoo stop in front of the door and both look back at me and my eyebrows rise in confusion.

"What?” I wonder aloud, looking suspiciously between the two of them.

Chaeyoung is practically bouncing up and down with excitement as she turns back towards the door and heads inside, Jiso and I following close behind her. As we enter, I take in the true beauty of the place in awe. It’s exquisitely decorated. I see a cash register with kind looking woman on the other side of it immediately to my left and a series of tall bookshelves lining the far wall in front of me. To the right, there are a few rows of smaller bookshelves with a few hard-cover displays on top of them. On the far wall, there’s a break between the wall-consuming bookshelves that is lined with strands of beads that lead into another room. Chaeyoung must be in there because I don’t see her anywhere around.

“Hello, ladies… Anything I can help you find?” The lady behind the counter chimes. I take her to be the owner, as it doesn’t appear as if anyone else is in the store. Also, her name tag says 'CL' so that might be a given.

Jisoo turns in her direction and gestures to me. “Yes, actually. My friend here needs something for her next sex therapy session.”

I’m floored. I nearly choke on my own spit as I whip my head around to face Jisoo. I can’t even form words; I’m so embarrassed. We haven’t even talked about my sessions in detail. How would she know anything about that?! The look on the owner’s face is one that’s shows she is both amused and eager. My jaw is still hanging to the floor, I think, but I don’t take my eyes off of Jisoo. She shrugs at me, waiting for the owner to make a suggestion.

She looks to me curiously. “Did you have anything in particular in mind?” She asks and I try to collect myself. My mouth closes, reluctantly and I shake my head while my eyes flutter closed, trying to form a thought.

“N-No… She was kidding. I’m… We’re not here for me,” I stutter. Jisoo laughs beside me, making her way towards the beaded door where I figure Chaeyoung is hanging out. I’m now left alone with this woman.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed,” She assures me with a calming smile. “Why don’t you just follow me back here and we’ll take a look at a few things… See if nothing catches your eye?” She suggests and I really can’t protest, as she’s being so nice and welcoming.

I follow her through the beads, leading to aisles upon aisles of sex toys and lingerie. She gestures for me to follow her down one of the aisles and I see Chaeyoung peeking her head out in our direction from the end of the aisle. She’s holding something in her hands with the widest grin on her face and I can’t quite make out what it is. It looks like a set of jumper cables you’d use for your car, but smaller and less daunting.

“Look, Lisa! Nipple clamps!” She rings, waving them in the air enthusiastically before rushing off to show Jisoo. Nipple clamps sounds awful. Is it just me? I crinkle my nose at the thought. Why would anyone want to willingly be hurt during sex?

CL turns to me with a bright smile across her face. “Don’t make that face,” She teases. “You never know what you might like…”

We explore the store in it’s entirety and CL is with me the whole way, explaining the function and purpose for each of the different objects. In the beginning, I was feeling very uncomfortable with the whole situation. Jennie and I have never talked about sex toys and I was a little apprehensive, to say the least. However, CL made a lot of what she was showing me sound incredibly appealing. Through each aisle, I was becoming more and more complacent and eventually I started asking her questions about the various items. I even asked for a few recommendations at the end. She said she’d already had a few things in mind that she thought I might enjoy and smiled and went along with it. After a few minutes exploring the store, Chaeyoung and Jisoo asked if I would be all right in here by myself and I told them I was fine, that CL would ease me through it. The pair ended up waiting for me in the car and a little less than a half hour later, I make my way back to them with a lavish pink bag and took a seat in the back of the car.

“What did you get, Lisa? Jisoo prods with a curious grin as I buckle my belt.

I can’t help the smile on my face at the thought of the items I purchased. “Wouldn’t you like to know…” I counter, holding my bag protectively in my lap.

She rolls her eyes and turns back facing forward. “Still being secretive, I see,” She practically retorts under her breath causing my eyebrows to furrow in confusion.

“You do know that you’re not actually supposed to have sex with your therapist, right?” Jisoo continues and I’m almost hurt by her tone, though I know she didn’t mean for it to come out that way.

"Who told you I was having sex with my therapist, Jisoo unnie? Why would you even think that?” I ask her, a nervous laugh leaving my lips.

At my response, Jisoo bursts into a fit of laughter, her head falling back against the headrest. Chaeyoung chimes in to ease the sudden sense of embarrassment I feel, smiling at me through the rearview again. “You tell us, Lisa… Are you planning on gettin’ down with your friend Jennie or your therapist Jennie?” She questions, emphasizing the titles.

Shit. They know. My face immediately flushes red and I don’t know what to say. Do I explain myself to them? Do I brush it off and deny any claims those being the same Jennie? No, I’m a terrible liar. Telling the truth would be the right thing to do, but that means having to actually talk about what Jennie and I do. I’m not ready to be that open with them about such a personal matter.

“They’re the same person…” I admit in defeat, even though they’re already aware of this fact. “Can we please not talk about it anymore?” I ask pleadingly.

“Sure,” Jisoo unnie says, still with that stupid grin on her face. “We won’t talk about the fact that you two had sex in the kitchen during movie night…”

“Unnie!” I protest, hoping she won’t say anything more.

Meanwhile, she and Chaeyoung cannot stop their laughter in the front. I’m more embarrassed than before at the fact that I was caught. They heard me that night. All I can do is pray that they don’t bring it up again. I just have to make it through the rest of the night with them. We wind up dropping Chaeyoung's car back at my house, changing into the proper attire and catching a cab to a nightclub, as per my request. If I can’t make them forget about the Jennie situation, at least temporarily, then the alcohol sure will.

Before we leave my house, I make a point to sneak into the bathroom and snap a picture of my purchases of today. I send them to Jennie and finally responding to her text from earlier.

“I have a few things in mind ;)" I reply, the picture attached.

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AND FINALLY AN UPDATE 😅 hi everyone! I hope everyone is doing fine. 💕