"Nathalie, where's my..."

"10 o'clock coffee?" She finishes my question for me as she places a huge mug of coffee on my desk.

"Erase that smirk of your face..." I sigh. She walks aroud my desk closer to me and she raises her hip to sit on its corner but remembers, and she fights her urge and takes a step back, keeping her stare on me during the whole process making me uncomfortable. Her eyes slowly travel to my cleavage and back, her smirk is still there. "You know...I'm not even supposed to bring you coffee...you hired me for other qualifications."

"I did. And I can also fire you." I raise my hand to my necklace and I know it got the effect I wanted. She clears her throat and walks out of my office, swaying her hips on the way out. I shake my head and sigh again.

She doesn't seem to get it in her thick head that I'll never be interested in her. I grab the photograph on my desk and I know I'm beaming as always when I see my two favourite girls. We've come a long way and I often marvel at all the changes that took place in such little time in my life. If someone had told me I'd never have believed it.

"Mrs sheffield?"

I take my eyes off the photograph and notice my assistant has entered my office. I had not heard her knocking. I nod at her, pressing her to explain what she wants. "Is your personal phone off?"

"Hum, I'm not sure, it's still inside my purse. Why do you ask? All my professional calls come through you. Did I miss a meeting?"

"Maybe you should check the battery of your phone...your wife's trying to reach you."

"Oh. Ok. Yes sure. Thank you. I'm going to call her back immediately."

That was one of the biggest changes in my life....being able to call the woman I love my wife is the accomplishment I'm the proudest. I had not really planned it. I knew Juliette was some hopeless romantic... but I wasn't into grand gestures. And yet as always, she got everything she wanted from me without even asking. I had bought the ring but just waited for the perfect moment and there it was, one evening after practice. Lily was riding in front of us and she led us to the Shakespeare Statue, the one Lea used as a set up in a time that seems so remote now. But that place was part of our history as it was the beginning of our story, of my struggles with the idea of motherhood and Juliette's incoming troubles. We had overcome them all and I knew she was thinking about that too, her eyes told me. Before I chickened out, I took a deep breath and bent a knee. I didn't need to ask, Juliette started sobbing and nodding, but I asked anyway...if she would marry me and she took an awefully long time to answer as she chocked on her tears each time she tried to say the word. But I finally got my yes.

"Oh I'm in deep trouble...." I exhale, looking at my phone. I have 7 missed calls received in the time span of 4 minutes... I quickly dial her back and she immediately answers.

"Baby!" I try to sound cheerful but I know she's mad.

"You didn't pick up your phone! I've been calling you!"

Really? "I'm sorry...it was in my purse, still in flight mode... Baby, what's wrong?" I hear her sniffling at the other end of the line.

"Nothing..." she answers in a broken voice.

For christ's sake what is it this time? "Juliette...I know something's wrong. Just tell me please."

"You haven't bought a Christmas tree like you said you would...and Christmas is almost here... I wanted to have it for the 6th but you wanted to wait, now we're more than two weeks later. Amelia I swear if you don't come home with a tree tonight I'll"

"Fine fine! Sure. Whatever you need. I'll get one as soon as I'm done here." I exhale harshly, removing the phone away from my mouth afraid she might hear my exasperation before bringing it close again. "Anything else my love?"

"No."

"How are you feeling?"

"What do you think?"

Deep breaths. "I'll try to come home earlier tonight ok?" Juliette barely hums an answer before hanging up, making me scream internally.

I dial my mother on impulse, we've become much closer these past months and it's a nice feeling.

"Amelia, hi! I was about to call you! What's wrong!"

"Why would you suspect something's wrong?"

"Well...you rarely call to ask how I am so... tell me."

"No everything's great. I just felt like calling you. How are you mother?"

"Amelia...how's your wife?"

"Don't call her like that."

"Like what? Didn't you two get married?"

"You damn well know what I mean mother...."

"Language Amelia!"

I sigh into the phone. She gets my frustration and her tone softens.

"I know it's hard. Be extra patient and caring with her. Do everything she asks and do question her decisions, . Even the weirdest, because somehow they don't sound strange to her. Can you do that?"

"Of course...I'll do my best."

"Oh and tell your wife..."

"Mother!"

"Tell Juliette I'm hosting Christmas dinner."

"How I am supposed to make her agree on that ? She invited you all!"

"Find something...Tell her I broke my hip and can't ride."

"I'll try...Have a good day mother."

..........

I know I said I'd try to come home earlier but I got stuck at work again. Juliette will not be pleased but at least I bought a Christmas tree! My chauffeur is bringing it up and settling it in the living-room. I just told him to put it wherever.... Juliette will decide on where she wants it. I walk up to Lily who is practising her piano scales and listen from the door of the living-room, waiting for her to finish. She started taking lessons last year and she puts her heart to it, practising every day, on her mother's instrument.

"You're getting better everyday sweetheart!" Lily turns around and runs towards me. I bend and take her in my arms. "Ouch I should stop doing that you're getting too heavy.."

"Ou bien c'est toi qui devient vielle!"(or you're growing old)

"Hey I got that!! Where's maman?" She nods in the direction of our bedroom. I put her on the floor and kiss her head before joining Juliette. As expected she is resting on the bed, staring at the window in a foetal position. "Hey baby..." I lie next to her and play with her hair "I brought a christmas tree."

She turns around, lying on her back and I come closer, resting on my elbow. I kiss her softly and she grimaces. "I tried to come home earlier."

"Amelia, don't, it's fine."

"I missed you...how are you two doing?"

"Someone is in a great shape...eating all my energy...here."

She takes my hand and places my palm on her stomach. "Was that..?" Juliette is beaming, she doesn't need to tell me. I pull her top up and plant huge kisses on her belly. I feel the tears welling in my eyes and rolling down my cheeks, she cups them and slowly dries my tears away. I return my palm on her skin again and she gently takes my hand in hers, entertwining our fingers before repositioning them, and I feel it again, this tiny wave, the first living proof of our baby. "What does it feel like for you?"

"It's like...tiny flutters just below the surface of my skin. I wasn't sure... but my mom told me that once I'd know...I'd just know. I felt it an hour ago. I couldn't wait to tell you." We lie there for long minutes, focusing, scrutinising, amazed at each tiny movement...it's the most incredible thing I've seen and I can't wait for Juliette's belly to grow bigger, I'm sure she'll be even more beautiful.

"I have a list of names if you want to compare with yours."

"I'd love to but Amelia....we're not going for a name starting with an A."

"But baby, it's a family tradition."

"I'm carying it and puking my guts out all day long ok? I deserve the final say."

I know she's only half serious though. "I'm sure you're only trying to piss off my mother."

"Of course not. I'm sure she'll love a French name...what do you think of Joséphine for a girl?"

"Juliette?!" She's giggling. Gosh she got me. "What if I find a great name starting with an A....will you keep an open mind and consider it?"

"Never." Now I'm the one laughing, I know she can't lie.

"By the way....my mother says hi."

"Right."

"Hum...she also says she'd very much like to host Christmas dinner..."

"Thank God..." I didn't expect that...and she explains "I really want to host it...but I can't stand the smell of food right now... I can barely cook for us three and a half...Tell her I agree but only because you begged me to accept." I laugh...Gosh those two are so alike.

"Of course. Can I get my amazing wife anything?"

"I need to eat something...but I don't know what... I won't keep it long but I need to try."

I stand up, ready to start dinner but Juliette calls me back. "Baby can you make pancakes? Oh and could you run me a very hot bath please. I need one before we start decorating that tree."

"Of course baby."

"Can you leave the door open on your way out? I want to hear Lily practice." Amelia looks back at me with heart eyes, making me want to stand up and kiss her. But I know that if I move there's a chance I'll have to rush to the bathroom again. When my gynaecologist warned me about "morning sickness", I took her words literally....never imagining they would last all day long for me, making me throw up the tiniest amount of food I manage to swallow. At first pregnancy was fun, my sense of smell was overdevelopped but it soon became extra sensitive. I have had Amelia change her soap and shampoo and moisturiser three times already....she has stopped wearing perfume...any smell makes me sick and I can't even cook. I'm too weak anyway as I have not been able to eat anything for the past two months. There are pills I could take to make the nausea bearable, but I won't do that mistake ever again. I even told my gynaecologist I refuse to get an epidural and I made Amelia swear she'll prevent them from getting me any drug even if I beg for it.

Gosh I don't feel well. I truly hope nausea will end after the first semester as I read it in magazines Amelia bought for herself. She's freaking out but is very caring and attentive at the same time. She's observing me weirdly every day. I'm certain if we had a measuring tape she'll be drawing charts showing the growth of my belly, among other things. Last week she told me that according to her book my hormones would go crazy soon and we'd be having steamy hot sex. This idea is helping me a lot get through the days, especially the worst days.

"Your bath is ready !" I hear Amelia call from the bathroom and I join her, not walking steadily as nausea is always worst when I stand, and my blood sugar is really low now. She takes my arm and sits me on the rim of the bath. "You want your pancakes now?"

"Hum actually, is there still coleslaw in the fridge?"

I hear Amelia laughing as she exists the bathroom, she finds my cravings weird and so do I. When she comes back with the coleslaw I'm already in the bath, sighing in pleasure. She hands me the coleslaw and a fork, and I attack it hungrily. I know Amelia must find the sight weird and I quickly look up but I catch her staring, a smirk on her lips.

"Stop perving on your pregnant wife you creep!"

"It's just...they are so...big!" She answers blushing but keeping her eyes on my boobs, extending a hand that I slap away, and she pouts.

"Don't, I told you they hurt." She bends to kiss my lips and walks out of her bathroom but I call her back...I feel her frustration...I miss her touch too even if it's just impossible right now. "Thank you Amelia, for the tree and the coleslaw, and the bath...I can't wait for that steamy sex next week..." I wink and she winks back. Despite the constant nausea, I know I couldn't be happier right now.