I watch the elevator doors close on an extremely mad Juliette and start replaying what just happened in my head. The more I play it the more I get angry too. Juliette is having weirder reactions as the days go by and her outbursts are provoked by the dumbest of incidents. Last night she threw all the pans in the sink with food still inside them, just because she had used the wrong ingredient. I'm sure the meal was still good...but I ended up cleaning the kitchen and ordering food while she was pouting on the couch. After lunch I told her I had a call to make for work and she got angry as well even if I had told her I would get rid of my client quickly.

I don't get it. She's confusing me. The last days I have been so afraid to piss her off that I had to think twice before opening my mouth. I try to be as patient and kind as I can but she's getting on my nerves. I can't bear those mood switches anymore. This is not what I signed up for. And yet... I've fallen so hard and I know she needs me.

The encounter with Jennifer really triggered her anger, I had never seen her like that before, not even after she came back from the hospital. She reacted as though I had been cheating on her. I tried to talk to her, giving her my side of the story, she wouldn't listen. She just left, leaving me with Lily. That is so fucked up.

I look at my watch... she's been gone for two hours now. She didn't even take a jacket in her haste and she must be cold even if it's a sunny Saturday afternoon. I tried calling her phone but she wouldn't answer and I have no idea where she is. Lea is my only option and I hope she can help.

Fortunately Lea answers her phone and has some idea about Juliette's whereabouts but she takes Juliette's side and blames me for her reaction. I didn't even do anything.... she hung up on me, but one of her questions actually leaves me wondering...I look inside the bathroom cabinet and open it in haste. Nothing. I check inside the kitchen cupboards. Nothing. Inside her bedside table? Still nothing. Inside the pockets of her jacket? Jackpot. I take the pill bottle to the kitchen and empty it on the counter. I make a pile and make another one as I start counting and adding one pill after another. Shit....I grab my phone and text Lea to let her know.

After a short while she texts me she found Juliette and now I'm pacing the entrance hall, anxiously waiting for them.

Finally, after twenty horrendously long minutes of waiting, they open and the two women come out. Juliette is wearing Lea's jacket and I'm glad she has such a thoughtful friend, even if she makes me want to punch her at times. Juliette is pale and her eyes are red and swollen, she's staring straight ahead of her as if I don't exist.

"Juliette, I..."

"I need to lie down for a bit." she tells Lea, walking past me without acknowledging me the slightest. As the brunette leaves for the bedroom, I take Lea in the kitchen and offer her something to drink. We sit on bar stools side by side and she explains where she found Juliette.

"Does she...often go back there?"

"I have no idea...I don't think so. She hates the place. We went for a short while right after Kelly's death but I'm sure she stopped going after the first month. It was too hard for her. Kelly wanted her ashes to be scattered, she had chosen the place but her parents saw against it."

"I didn't cheat on her."

"Yeah I know. Juliette told me what happened. I'm sorry I blamed you. It wasn't your fault this time."

"This time"?

"I checked her pill bottle....she took way too many pills, twice the maximum dose." I show Lea the bottle and she takes it in her hand, to inspect the contents. But she quickly hides it behind her back as Juliette enters the kitchen? Her eyes are bloodshot and wild. She's frantic and rummaging in the cupboards and drawers.

"Do you need anything Juliette?" Lea asks. But she doesn't get an answer from the brunette who is not paying attention.

"Juliette, did you respect your medication dosage?"

"Of course, you know I have to be careful."

"Juliette, look at me." But she won't, she knows Lea can tell when she's lying. And we all know she's been lying by now.

"Are you looking for those." Lea says, shaking the bottle in her hand to attract Juliette's attention.

Juliette stops in her track and snaps her head at Lea. "Give it to me, I need them."

"Certainly not. I'm going to make sure you're going to stay away from them." She walks to the sink and empties the contents inside while opening the tap to its maximum and they quickly dissolve.

"Why would you do that? I'm in fucking pain, how could you!"

"Juliette, the pain is in your head. You need to stop taking medication."

"You don't know how I feel Lea! you're not in my body!"

"I wish..." Gosh Lea!!! Not the time! I face palm and sigh.

"Are you two conspiring against me?"

"We want what's best for you and clearly you can't think straight right now."

"I can't believe it." Juliette is pacing again, not hearing Lea. I haven't said anything yet, I'm way too scared, I have so much to lose. Lea has been there for a long time, she'll forgive her, always. But right now I have way more to lose.

"Baby we love you, we're doing what needs to be done and deep down you know it too." I say walking close to Juliette and resting my hand on her arm in an attempt to make her look at me. She still hasn't and I feel exluded. She walks away from me and breaks down, shouting and crying as realisation hits her.

"I need the pills, I won't last a day without them!" She takes her purse, ready to leave and buy more but Lea tackles her and they both fall on the floor. "Lea let go of me!"

Juliette is struggling to get on her feet, pushing Lea away and hitting her as she gets frustrated but Lea has taken Juliette's wrists in her hands to prevent any more blows. She's remaining weirdly composed, while I'm watching, totally dumbstruck at the scene unfolding before my eyes.

Finally Juliette gets tired and she lets her arms fall on her sides. Lea takes her in her arms and rocks their two bodies, humming softly in her ears.

"I made a promise to Kelly too you know. Right now I'm just trying to honour it as best I can."

Juliette simply nods and I suddenly get their relationship. Behind the playfulness and the constant flirting, there's so much love and care and right now Juliette needs Lea more than she needs me. They have a history together that I'm just starting to understand.

"I'm taking Lily with me for the weekend ok? It's gonna be hell for a few days but we'll get through this, together. ok?" She includes me in this, nodding at me. I squat next to Juliette and try to get close to her again, cupping her wet cheeck, and this time she doesn't flinch. Instead she leans into my palm and closes her eyes. "We're doing this together." I confirm, kissing her head.

We help Juliette up and she joins Lily in her bedroom. Thankfully she had not witnessed the scene earlier as she was engrossed in an episode of Paw Patrol. I know I gave her the ipad way too early but I just couldn't focus and deal with Lily so...I took the easiest solution, and it ended up saving us from a very embarrassing situation. Juliette packs a bag for Lily and tells her she's going to spend the night with Lea and Kev. She's such an easy kid, she just looks pleased with it and doesn't question her mother's decision.

Lea and Lily head for the elevator doors and before they close Lea puts her thumb and pinky to the side of her head, letting me know she wants us to keep in touch at all times.

I'm alone with Juliette now and I admit I'm a bit apprehensive....I'm afraid I may do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing. But I need to try.

"Can I get you anything?"

"No, I'm good. I don't need anything from you."

"Juliette, can we talk about what happened earlier?" I know...I shouldn't. It's just going to backfire straight in my face.

"Yes of course, we can talk about your sex buddy. Did you invite her over or did she really come out of the blue?"

"Of course I didn't invite her...I would never do that."

"You know what? just call her ok? She's so better than me. You don't need someone as fucked up as me in your life. She made it quite obvious without even knowing me."

"Gosh Juliette. I don't want another woman. I want you even if"

"Even if I'm a mess you'd be so glad to get rid of." She cuts in.

"Don't put words in my mouth Juliette." I tell her as gently as I can, taking her in my arms. I tuck a loose lock of her hair behind her ear and softly kiss her lips. She doesn't return the kiss, just stares at me coldly and with a stiff expression on her face. "I know it's probably going to be hard for a few days, a few weeks maybe, but I told you...we're doing this together. I won't get rid of you, ever. I'm here for better and for worse. And hopefully, we'll get to the first part soon."

This time she kisses me and I take no time deepening the kiss. We settle on the couch, Juliette's legs on my laps. She's staring at me with a sad expression and I know how overwhelmed she is right now. Her emotions must be sky rocketing and her mood switches must be confusing for her too. "I'm sorry." She breaks the silence and I raise an eyebrow at her, not prepared to hear those words as they are quite rare in her mouth. "I'm so sorry, for the way I've reacted earlier, for leaving, for not even giving you a moment to explain yourself. Gosh I'm so stupid. I don't deserve you." I open my mouth to speak but she puts her index finger on my lips. "I'm sorry, for what's coming. I know it's going to be hard for you as I'm going to take it all on you. I have no idea how my body's going to react to withdrawal. I knew I had to do something about it but it was easier to discard the problem than to face it."

I squeeze her hand and this time she lets me speak. "Don't worry about me. Just do whatever you need to do to get through it. I swear I'm not going anywhere."