*Chapter 35*

It was close to midnight when everyone returned home. Quentin insisted on going to his place, which got me a little curious but I didn't question it any further. As soon as we arrived, Quentin grabbed my hand and guided me in, moving towards his garden.

"Hey slow do-," I widened my eyes when I saw a small blanket cave, I always used to build when I was younger. Just that this one was way bigger and somehow more... romantic? So Quentin can be romantic?

"Happy birthday, Zaron," Quentin wrapped his arms around me from behind while I was still perplexed. "I never forgot our date," he let go and smiled.

"Wow," I marveled and before I could admire it any longer, Quentin pushed me in after forcing me to take my shoes of. "I didn't know you could be so romantic." I looked around, with pillows everywhere, making it even more cozy.

He smirked. "I didn't know what I should give you. Whether it was something meaningful or something materialistic. I ended up with both." In that moment he brought out a box, decorated with a red ribbon and handed it to me.

I curiously pulled the string to untie the ribbon and opened the box, just when my eyes widened. "That's... Quentin are you crazy?! Why did you just spend so much money on me?"

He just smiled at me like it was nothing as I was admiring the silver watch. "Because it is you."

A few seconds passed where I just looked at him before I engulfed him in a probably suffocating hug but at that moment it didn't matter to me. "Thank you."

"It's nothing," he waved away. "Uhm," he slowly pushed me down to a laying position and climbed on top of me before resting his head on my chest. I'm slowly getting the feeling that he likes that position a lot. "To be honest, I actually wanted to talk to you."

"Talk to me?" I raised my eyebrows and put an arm on his back.

"Rather tell you a few things, maybe it will help you understand." He hesitated. "You are the first to know, okay? And I'd appreciate it if it also stayed that way. Understood?" And once those words left his mouth, I was certain that it was something serious.

Therefore, I nodded. "But don't force your self."

"It's fine, really," he smiled. "So you already now, my family is... uhm different. Before, when I was really young, when I still had my Mom, I guess I was around seven or eight, I wasn't aware of it. I don't remember a lot of things but what I do remember is that Dad was never home, and every time I asked for him, she said "Dad is travelling around the world." I always wanted to travel with him. If I knew that she suffered the most from his absence, I'd have just shut up. And then one day, all of the sudden, Mom was gone. I cried so so much. I don't hate her for leaving us, but she could have at least said goodbye."

He sighed. "My oldest brother, Raven, he was eighteen at that time. He was there but he wasn't taking care of us, I don't know, he was just busy with himself. That's why Jin and Ramon mainly and partially Ace took care of me and Myles, I guess. I used to cry for every thing. But there was no one to really comfort me, everyone of us had their own problems. I, as the whining brat, was just getting on their nerves. It didn't take long for me to figure out that I had to deal with things myself. That's why I stopped relying on others too much."

"During middle school, I didn't have many friends. I was aware that no one sincerely liked me. Not that I minded. Actually, I couldn't care any less. I was just living my life. Though around my final year, there was one day where I really struggled, almost lost my life."

He buried his head in my shirt and gripped my arm that it almost hurt. But he was trembling so much that the pain almost instantly faded away.

"I was walking down the street on the way home, when... I don't really remember... I was dragged away to some rotten place and that man he- he did disgusting things to me

I wanted to forget everything so bad."

He took a breath and sighed. "After I lost my virginity, I felt so nauseating. I lost all care about myself. All because of him. The man, he left me on the ground like I was nothing worth than shit. I was bleeding, everywhere. It ached so bad I was not even able to stand up."

"I don't know what happened afterwards, but the moment I woke up, I was in a bed wrapped in bandages and a blanket. That's when I met Harry," he smiled. "He was a bit like you. Just more playful. He never acted his age. Nonetheless, he was so kind, so caring. A great leader of a gang. He helped me back on my feet, I spend a lot of time with him and the gang. It was the first time I had so much fun. I just wanted to be by his side, forever."

Quentin stopped talking, when the sparkle in his eyes disappeared. "W-what happened with him?" I gently brushed his hair of his face.

He smiled. An incredible sorrowful smile. "He died," he whispered. "During one of his missions, he got shot in the head. The gang then disbanded. I was so sad. Losing one of the most important person in your life... You can't wish that even for your worst enemy."

His words came out slightly raspy as if he was on the edge of his tears but tried to hold back. I just couldn't imagine that all this time, he had been dealing with it on his own. "How old where you when it happened?" I wanted to know.

"I don't know. Fourteen, I think."

Fourteen? Just as a reference, as fourteen year old I vaguely remembered only complaining about my braces while he... This is insane, he was so young. He still is. And despite that, there was so much he had to bear alone. I bit my lips.

"Since that time, I started hanging out with gangs. Though, they weren't all as nice as Harry was. For example, three years ago, there was that leader who had that shitty bdsm fetish, not in a nice way though. He was an extreme sadist. I always had bruises all over my body when I got home. I'm sure my brothers noticed. Also, that's where all my piercings came from. I can't tell what joy he found in piercing holes in my face, but he for sure loved it. Well I came to like them, too. So, it's fine. In any case, he also made me do weird things, like exposing myself in front of his members, I was just like his pet."

"And why didn't you leave?" I gritted my teeth and clenched my fist in annoyance, slight jealousy and anger.

"Pleasure and pain helps you forget about a lot of things," he smiled. "I didn't hate him. I'm pretty sure he isn't that bad of a person since, apart from his fetish, he always treated me well. I just got sick of his members though, which is why I left. I was fine with him having his way with me but when his mates started to get ahead of themselves, put their hands on me, I got pissed."

Maybe, I'm slowly kind of figuring out where his personality came from...

"Then there was that guy... who insulted my precious car. Not worth talking about. I guess you can say I just lost hope in finding someone like Harry. There is no one who could replace him. I should have known. So before, I turned seventeen I kind of focussed on practicing with my brothers, graduated and all that stuff."

"But you still decided to hit me up," I rolled my eyes. "You couldn't leave it after all."

"You just happened to catch my attention. So I didn't want to just let it slip," he giggled.

"Well I'm glad you didn't." I grinned and intertwined our fingers after he sat up, tracing circles on my chest when it was silent between us. "But after all this time, why didn't you talk to your brothers? You know I had a little talk with Jin and he is really worried about you."

A slight anger appeared in his eyes. "Because they have so many expectations of me, it's literally leaking out of their mouths. Like I don't have other things to care about. Even Dad. He may not say it directly but I know that he deeply wants me to become like him."

"They are all talking how I should not do this, stop doing that, how I should act and how they want me to be. But who are they to command? I don't care in the slightest what they want or what they say. It's seriously frustrating," he quickly stirred up but calmed down again. "Honestly, I can't stand it when you do that, too."

"My brothers and I didn't even got along that well. Myles and I are always fighting, Ace didn't even used to talk to me before, Ramon was just too stuck with his damn practice and Jin, he is already worrying over little things, why would I burden him even more with myself."

"You're not a burden. I bet he thinks the same. He probably wishes for you to open up to him like you do to me." I caressed his head. He didn't reply to me and his expression clearly showed how he was in thoughts.

"You know, I actually wished for a normal life. Just a boring family, cringy love life, mundane school routine, just life where my biggest problem was whom I'd go to prom with," he sighed. "I ended up being gay with a family of assassins, and not even going to prom, let alone from everything else that happened," he chuckled.

"You know that time, when I latched out on you, I was actually feeling really anxious," he confessed. "About you. I was scared when I considered you not being by my side anymore." He bit his lips, looking clearly troubled. "The thought was so scary. And on top of it, that incident had to happen where you got hurt. There is just that much myself can actually endure."

"But I'm still here. And that won't change anytime soon," I pointed out with an encouraging smirk. "Moreover, it doesn't matter what happened in the past, the past is and stays in the past. The only thing you need to focus on is the here, now and the future. Right?"

He smiled. He looked so cute at the moment, I wanted to eat him up. "Hey, close your eyes," I said and forced us both to sat up. He frowned. "C'mon just do it," I rushed, so he did close his eyes. "Okay now tell me, how does your prettiest imagination of your future look like?"

"Really now?" He sighed.

I wrapped my hand around his waist and smiled. "Really now."

"It'll be super cringy though," he warned. "Well, starting off I wished to finally be in piece with my family, graduate from university, aiming to be a really cool doctor. Also I'll go on vacation with you, we will go travel around the world and I hope to get married with you," he said while I brought out the small black velvety box and opened it.

"Then after you're in peace with your family, graduated from university, went on vacation with me and travelled around the world, will you marry me?" I proposed.

Quentin's eyes fluttered open in shock when he stared at me in utter disbelief. I couldn't hide the grin once I saw his expression.

Then out of nowhere, a tear dropped down his cheek. "No, no, no Zaron," he gasped. His eyes got teary, slowly getting puffy. One followed after another and before I knew it, he started crying. Quiet sobs made me snapped back of my surprise when I slowly took him in my arms and comforted him.

"Oh no, baby don't cry." Though he kept shaking. I didn't assume he was going to react like that. But he clearly felt touched, just as much as it made me smile. I gently caressed his head and pressed a few butterfly kisses on his scalp to lighten his mood. Still, he showed no signs of calming down. "You are just joking, right. That's a bad joke," he whispered. "You're so mean."

I felt his tears dropping down my shoulders and his hand gripping my shirt until I carefully pushed him away to get some eye contact but his eyes were fixed on the ground. I used my thumbs to wipe off his tears as I leaned my forehead against his. "Will you marry me, Quentin?"

My heart was beating faster than generally when his eyes finally met mine. "Yeah." He nodded. "Yeah, I will." I grinned and pulled him into a deep kiss. "But it will take years until then if you are really being serious," he whispered against my lips.

"It's a promise. A promise and a strong bond that will unconsciously keep us together. At least, that's what I hope for," I slightly blushed when I noticed how my words came out too cheepishly. "Maybe you should start moving into my house first."

He smiled and nodded before placing another kiss on my lips. I took advantage of the moment and slipped the ring on his finger just before he pulled away, having his eyes fixed on it with a critical look. "It's so ugly." He chuckled.

"H-huh? You don't like it??" I widened my eyes.

He smiled and rested his head on my shoulder. "I mean, you picked gold even though silver is way prettier."

I was too dumbfounded to respond at first but quickly got myself together.

"You want me to return it or what?" I sulked in disappointment.

"What??! Don't even try! It's mine now!" He shook his head.

"Whatever you say mister," I chuckled and pushed him down for a kiss, I had been waiting for. I let my tongue glide over his lips when I pushed it in his mouth before pulling away pecking his neck and nibbling at the back of his ear.

Quentin giggled as it must have left a ticklish feeling. "Are we finally, having sex again?" He asked when I got rid of his pants and shirt. "Did you at least grab a condom?"

"What if I didn't?" I pulled my shirt off with a smirk.

"Oh please! You had it all planned out, didn't you?" He giggled. "I guess that is why you got a little upset for postponing our date, am I right?"

I laughed at that, letting my nose brush against his soft cheeks. "Perhaps." I inhaled his addicting scent and grabbed his hair together with his lower back, pressing him closer to me. "In my pocket," I told him. "Look in there."

He didn't hesitate and looked through my right pocket. "I knew it," he grinned when he pulled out a silver package.

Gosh, I just love him.

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(already did tho)