《I Know What Sin Is》Chapter 1
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His bed was nice.
So nice, in fact, that I fell asleep with my phone on my chest and half my face buried in that strange guy's pillows.
I probably would have slept there all night, if I hadn't been awoken a few hours later to the sound of someone clearing their throat impatiently.
I blinked my eyes open sleepily, yawning and nuzzling the tip of my nose back into the pillow.
Yuck, what am I doing? I thought suddenly. What if it has that guy's drool all over it? Or... or mouth fungus?
"Hey, freshie."
I looked up. Shit, there he is. Towering over me while I lay snuggled up in his covers. What the fuck was I thinking? This place was really messing with my head.
"Time to go," he said. He looked so menacing, standing there with his arms crossed over his chest. His large pectoral muscles showed through the thin shirt he wore.
Beside me, my phone screen lit up. Probably a text from Sarah. She usually panicked if I didn't get back to her at least every twenty minutes. Even when I was sleeping.
"We had a deal," I protested. "I get this bed, you get-"
"Yeah, that was I when I had a splitting migraine." His brow crinkled. "Look, you got a nice nap, I got a nice nap. But all my shit's over here and your shit's over there. C'mon." He snapped his fingers as if talking to a dog. "Let's go."
I stayed put. "Fuck off. You wanted that bed so now you get it."
My roommate - my still nameless roommate - rolled his eyes and let his arms slip apart. "Listen, freshie. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Which would you prefer?"
"I said, fuck off."
He looked to the ceiling for a moment, perhaps to collect his thoughts, perhaps to share a private word with God. Then he shrugged. "Alright. Hard way it is."
I sat frozen, shocked, as he pulled the covers down my legs and wrapped an arm around my waist. I wasn't a very experienced fighter, but I did attempt to kick at him a little before he got his other arm underneath me and threw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
"Shit," I hissed as my world turned upside-down. Suddenly, I was facing the floor, my little ass up in the air, with his calloused palm cupping my upper thigh to keep me in place. "What the fuck, man?" I yelled. "You don't even look that strong!"
That was a lie. He did look strong. But I figured his ego could use a hit or two.
He frowned and started carrying me across the room. "Thanks a lot. I train every day, I'll have you know. And if I had your wimpy little pool noodle arms, I wouldn't be judging, buddy."
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"Hey," I said defensively. "They're not pool noodles." There was, in fact, a soft curve to my biceps. "And put me down, you sicko!"
"I will drop you on the ground," he said lightly, with a faux cheery smile. "Like you did to my poor, innocent, very expensive computer."
"Like you did to my graduation photo," I retorted.
"Out of self-defense! You fuckin' beat me with that thing!" He stopped in the center of the room and stared down at the cracked frame. "Cute girl. Not sure if I dig the blue hair. Oh, shit, is that the chick you came here with? I'd say she's your girlfriend but she's got about two inches on you so I'm guessing... sister?"
"She's not my sister," I mumbled. "Or my girlfriend."
"Cousin?" He dropped me roughly on my bed. Something inside the mattress definitely snapped.
"We're just friends," I snapped. "What's it to you?"
"Ah, just friends." He gave me a knowing smile. "It's complicated, isn't it?"
"No, it's not, actually." I let out a little huff and glared up at him. His smile infuriated me. As if I needed any further humiliation. Good job, Ben, I thought. You let this maniac terrify you and make a fool out of you. Now he's going to bully you every day for the rest of eternity. "If you'll excuse me," I said. "I'll be heading to the housing office now. To tell them how you assaulted me and I need a room change."
"Oh, for-" He scrubbed a hand over his face. "First of all, you assaulted me. Second of all, do you really want to switch to a room with two, maybe three other roommates? Who will probably drag you off to some hazing ritual before you can open up that ugly old suitcase of yours?" He wrinkled his nose. "Jesus. Is that thing from the 1930's?"
I said nothing and rolled onto my side. He had a point about the multiple roommates. Maybe I could learn to live with this guy for a year. If we didn't kill each other before then.
I groped the sheets for my phone. I needed to text Sarah back before she called the police and reported me missing, for Chrissakes. Oh, shit. I turned back over just in time to see that psychopath holding up my phone across the room.
"Don't you dare," I breathed.
"What have we here?" he murmured casually. "Seven texts from Sarah, white-heart-emoji, teddy-bear-emoji. Sarah, is that your little friend? Sarah the Smurf?"
I jumped to my feet. "Put it down or I'll fucking murder you."
"Hmm. Wonder what your password is." He clicked the home button. "Let's try S-A-R-"
That was when I tackled him. I wasn't exactly built like a linebacker but I had the element of surprise in my favor. I pounced on him like a cat, making a wild grab for his hand as we both fell onto the bed.
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We wrestled for a minute, him laughing and me snarling in frustration, until I managed to knock the phone from his hand. I made a lunge for it but he pinned me on my back and held my arms down.
"Fuck off!" I shouted, still kicking at him.
"Expressive, aren't we?" he teased.
I struggled under his weight - Jesus, he must have been at least seventy pounds heavier - while he smiled down at me with that fucking wolf's grin. Like I was some little animal caught in his trap.
"Relax," he said, his voice calmer now. Deeper. "I'll let you go if you stop fighting." He kept my wrists pinned on either side of me and did a subtle scan of my body, stretched out beneath him. I felt my cheeks grow warm. He was a complete stranger, and a fucking weirdo at that, but something about this felt different. Thrilling. Erotic.
If his hips dipped just an inch lower, he would be grinding on me.
What the fuck? I internally cursed myself. Where were these weird perverted thoughts coming from? I'd been watching too much porn lately.
All at once, the weight on me lifted. He sat up, leaving me panting in his sheets. "See?" he chuckled. "I think we'll get along just fine."
I reached for my phone without a word. There were now nine missed texts from Sarah. I clicked the side button to lock my phone and looked up at him. My roommate. The guy I was stuck living with for a year. The guy I had just imagined rubbing his dick on me. Jesus Christ, get it together.
"So," I mumbled. "I still don't know your name."
He smirked. "Don't worry, I've gone a lot further with people and never got their names."
My face fell to a scowl. What did that even mean? "I'm Ben," I said.
"Dover," he said.
"Um, Dalton, actually." My eyebrows threaded together. "You know what, close enough. Just call me Ben."
"Is that short for Benjamin?" he asked.
I narrowed my eyes. "Um, yeah. But... no one calls me that except my mom." Or at least she did, while she was still alive. I swallowed harshly before a lump could form in my throat.
He raised an amused eyebrow. "I think I'll call you Benjamin," he decided. "Or Ben Dover. Whatever suits the mood."
I grit my teeth to keep myself from shouting more profanities at him. "And you are...?" I asked.
"Michael D'Angelo, at your service, sir."
I snorted. "Like Michelangelo?"
He blinked at me. "No. Like Michael D'Angelo, you idiot. Emphasis on the D."
I rolled my eyes and unlocked my phone on my way back to my bed. Apparently, Sarah was convinced I'd gotten murdered by the psychotic drunk guy. I fought off the urge to reply, well... almost, just to mess with her.
i'm fine. he's just annoying af. not a serial killer
🤍🧸😂😂😂
🤍🧸Glad ur settling in. Hey u should come meet my roomie Maria... She's single 😉
not rlly my biggest priority rn, sar.
🤍🧸Ugh!! We need to find you a gf and me a bf so we can go on double dates!!! 😂
I threw my phone to the side and flopped onto my back on the hard mattress. Chances were, Sarah wasn't going to give up until she set me and this Maria girl up on a date. For some reason, she'd always been obsessed with picking my girlfriends. My friends. My everything.
She claimed she'd known me for so long, she knew what was better for me than I did.
Another text lit up my phone.
🤍🧸Ben, i know u. Ur gonna sit up in ur room every single day if i dont drag u out. Maria and i r going to a party tmrw & ur coming too!!!
"Oh my fucking god," I muttered to myself.
Across the room, Michael broke into a grin. "Girl trouble?"
"Kind of," I admitted.
"Yeah, my girlfriend's being a bitch too." He sniffed and drew his legs up to sit cross-legged on the mattress.
I stared out the window, at the last glimpse of light leaving the horizon. At least the sunset was nice. A soft blend of pink and yellow swirled across the sky. I flopped onto my side and tried to get myself pumped for tomorrow.
First day of classes. First real day of college.
First day of my new life, which kind of, sort of, absolutely sucked so far.
It was terrifying being here, on my own, a whole state from home. I missed my apartment building in Ohio. I missed my old bed and my old clothes and the streets I'd spent hours wandering all those nights I didn't want to go home.
That was the one thing I didn't miss.
Him.
My father.
I chewed on the inner corner of my cheek, trying to banish the thoughts flooding my mind. That was all in the past. I could start fresh here. Be anything I wanted.
I knew nothing of this place, not where the nearest grocery store was, not where the cool places to hang out were, not even where I could go for help if I needed it. The only other student I'd managed to meet acted like an actual mental patient who escaped from the asylum. And I hadn't even eaten anything besides that last bag of Doritos from a convenience store thirty miles back.
At least you have your sanity, right?
Right?
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