"I can't fit into anythinggggg"

I wailed making what seemed like my one hundredth attempt at buttoning my jeans over my bloated belly while I laid on my back trying to suck in the small gut forming below.

"Why now?"

After trying on several pairs of my jeans I gave up, none of my bottoms fit me and with the fatigue I was experiencing I didn't think I had another energy to come out of these jeans without falling asleep.

: I can't fit none of my clothes how will I survive?

: have no fear aunty Sammie is here! Make yoga pants and stretchy dresses yo friend for the next seven and half months.

I had spent all morning going crazy over my pants not fitting I never stopped to think about my other options. I had only fifteen minutes to get ready to head to my first-round table reading with my cast mates and John.

I picked up a plain black dress sliding out of the jeans tossing them into the pile of other jeans I had tried on and slipping into the dress comfortably my belly felt like if someone got to close to me and bumped me I would deflate or pop like a balloon.

You are a life saver, thank you.

I put on a pair of slides on and grabbed my purse and keys, I knew with the way Los Angeles freeway traffic was set up in the morning I would be late to getting to my destination.

Typically my morning consisted of mango dragon fruit with coconut milk from Starbucks and now I had no time to stop and purchase it. My morning was going horribly already.

Was this how pregnancy would be for me, throwing me off my usual routine because of bloating and oversleeping?

"Moveeeeeee"

I yelled inside of my car at the person in front of me driving Miss Daisy during morning rush, there was no way I would be on time, I pulled my phone out texting John.

John I had a rough morning already and I will be running late. I'm sorry

That was to be expected, that is why I lied and told you an earlier time than the actual start time, you have an hour and a half to get here. Remember I do have kids so I know a little something about pregnancy take your time and just get here safe Erin.

I slowed my speed in the car feeling a weight being lifted that I was actually going to be early and I would have more than enough time to stop at Starbucks.

Starbucks was pretty crowded when I arrived, customers were occupying every table with their laptops and briefcases but the line was nice and short.

"What you want Mani?" His voice made me look to the front of the line, Nipsey stood holding his daughters hand while he ordered whatever she wanted.

I pulled my shades out my bag sliding them on to try and make myself unrecognizable to him.

"Erin London, oh my God it's really you?"

A middle age white woman screeched getting everyone's attention in the coffee shop including Nipsey, who looked over his shoulder while paying for his drink.

"How are you?" I tried to be nice and just give her a smile, she stood up beside me holding up her phone in my face without question taking a picture.

"Thank you"

"Lady step back you all in her mouth she just trying to get her shit"

The lady looked mortified seeing Nipsey towering over her with a frown.

"Well I have never!"

"Keep it pushing Becky"

I was thankful for his protection but I wanted to run off with the woman out of Starbucks to avoid him.

"Thanks"

Nipsey's daughter held his hand and sipped her Vanilla Bean Frappuccino, she looked between us.

"Hi what's your name?"

"I'm Emani Dior" I smiled at how much she looked like Sammie with her chubby cheeks and smile.

"Nice to meet you Emani Dior, I'm Erin"

"Your the lady from the movie mommy watches"

I was stunned her mother even watched my movies, didn't seem like her type of style.

"You look good" Nipsey gave me a once over staring at my exposed thigh due to the split in my dress.

"Thank you"

I moved forward with the line hoping he was turning to leave.

"When can we sit and talk?"

Nipsey gaze went to my bloated gut back up to my eyes through my shades. I wasn't ready to sit down and talk about anything I needed all my focus and energy to go into my role.

"Right now isn't a good time Nipsey"

"When is a good time Boog? You know you can't run from me for too long we got important shit to handle"

"I'm well aware of that and I'll handle it when I'm ready, right now I am not ready to have that sit down with you" Nipsey nodded.

"Aight just know time winding down, I want my sit down soon, Mani say see you later"

"See you later"

"See ya Emani" Nipsey and Emani left out letting me order my drink and think on how long I could avoid him before I had to face the facts I was stuck with him for eighteen years maybe even longer.

I enjoyed my beverage inside of my Range Rover gathering my thoughts and calming my nerves for this round table I was getting ready to partake in.

"Glad you got here in one piece"

John greeted me with a side hug inside of the secret and guarded location to keep paparazzi out of what we had planned.

"me too"

I looked around at actors and actresses walking around introducing themselves.

"I have a huge spread of food for breakfast go enjoy yourself before we get to work"

John nudged me inside of the group of artist, I said my hellos and continued to the table with real ass breakfast.

"Oh this is a Black Black movie, y'all got grits"

I spun around to face Slim who rubbed his hands together approaching the breakfast table and me.

"Sixth babymom And a nigga second babymom you looking good"

I didn't feel like I looked too good but Nipsey and Slim thought so.

"What are you doing here?"

"I got me a little part in da movie, my nigga John wanted real street niggas in it to make sure shit was authentic"

I piled bacon and sausage on my plate, along with cheese grits. My appetite was on a hundred this morning.

"Daddy I want some bacon"

Oh no!

" Surprise"

Slim laughed getting his food, Nipsey walked up to the both of us with Emani eyeing all of the food.

"You gonna eat all dat? Where yo fruit at?"

"Mind your business, thank you"

"You carrying my kid so it is my business" He whispered

"In my body so what kind of food that won't hurt the baby that goes into my body isn't your business, what are you here for? To clock me on all that I eat?"

I whispered back angrily still putting food on my plate, Nipsey grabbed a bowl putting strawberries and grapes into it sliding it to me.

"John gave me a spot in da movie"

Having lead role in this film didn't feel so special anymore, he was just handing out roles after I spent weeks auditioning and then came out to Crenshaw to study the role.

"John I need to talk to you!"

Where could I avoid Nipsey when I had to work with him?

"Yes my star?"

"Why does it seem like you are handing out roles?"

"Well if you are speaking on Nipsey I started out with just using his music for my sound track then I figured he would be the perfect fit for the leads love interest

Excuse me love interest? Like I had to work with him acting romantically?

"I had to do all of this just to prove myself and get the role and you just hand it to him with no problem" My hormonal ass started to cry in front of everybody who were being nosy.

"It's not like that Erin I needed something real something authentic that an actor couldn't give me"

Nipsey smirked at me shrugging his shoulders, I swiped away the hot tears.

"I guess you were right it's easy being a better actor than I am"

"Boog come on now-

"It's whatever, I'm sure you are elated that you were actually right about what you said"

I got my plate of food off the table leaving the fruit bowl he had made me, going into the conference room joining all my cast mates.

"I told him to just give you candy"

Emani mumbled taking a big bite out of her glazed donut, I dabbed my face with a napkin.

"Please lord help me through this and keep Ermias Asghedom far away from me when we are not working so I won't get the sudden urge to beat his ass, oh and bless my food thank you"

John sighed sitting down, Nipsey thought he was going to sit beside me I slid my food down getting on the opposite side of Emani to put somebody in between us.

"Let's get to work shall we"