《Your Guidance》Chapter Nine: I Wasn't Giving Up On You.

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"This is Small Doses Podcast with Amanda Seals, today's guest has been buzzing in the media for a couple of weeks now and I am shocked because I knew nothing and this is my best friend Miss Erin London people"

" Hey everybody and I was given strict rules so I pretty much cut myself off from my usual routine like my mom didn't even know what I was doing until some footage got out of me at that strip club"

I drank from my bottled water rocking side to side in the rolling chair I was in.

" I don't even know where to begin with this, it's so many layers to this story but I'll have you start with how you ended up in Crenshaw?"

"Well I can't even talk too deeply into it but it was a venture to learn about something I wasn't educated in"

"Okay so how were you introduced to aspiring rapper Nipsey Hussle?"

I internally rolled my eyes just hearing his name made my blood boil and my skin crawl.

"I was introduced to Nipsey through a mutual friend of ours, so yeah" I popped my lips.

"So how was it meeting him like did you deal with culture shock when you arrived in Crenshaw? Because I know you and you ain't never even watch hood movies let alone go there"

We laughed at the trueness of her statement.

" It was most definitely a shock to the system, you know I was born into wealth so coming into an environment where the main thing was a lack of money was so tough like I was on a budget during my short visit and I was blowing through the money like it was nothing"

"Oh so you were on a budget explain that for me"

I scratched my head trying to figure out how to explain it without giving too much details on Johns movie he was preparing to film.

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"So I only allowed myself to use ten thousand dollars , I was staying in a house for 2,500 dollars a month so I was down 7,500 by the time I paid three months of rent then I put out a thousand dollars for security"

"So I read something's online that you were caught in a drive by and someone saved your life"

I couldn't tell anyone the real story behind how Cane ended up saving me from being killed because of the person I killed unknowingly.

"Something like that I'm not willing to go into that story on air"

"Alright moving on do you take credit for helping Nipsey finally getting his own store to sell his clothing?"

"Oh he does I didn't even know he had gotten the place he wanted, congrats to him but no I take no credit all of the credit goes to him and his brother they put in that work day in and day out I only showed my face once.

No matter how much he hurt me I was genuinely happy that he and Blacc had finally gotten the store.

"Now you are my best friend and I feel like I have sort of an idea of what type of men you are into"

" That's impossible to know what type of man I like only I truly know that but continue with trying to get yo messy tea" I sipped my water trying to suppress my hunger pangs.

"Oh best believe I am, there were pictures and videos of you and Nipsey rather cozy with one another can you tell the people what they been dying to know?"

"It wasn't anything serious we just satisfied our flesh needs and wants during the last couple of days in Crenshaw but it was no dating or any fairytale story to give up to you guys just sex"

It was definitely not a fairytale, I left all my shit behind at his house and let him keep the rest of the money in the fanny pack, I had returned to the hospital when I knew he wasn't around and said my farewells to his mom, Sammie and Blacc before returning to the Hills.

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"It's been about a month are you guys still in contact with one another?"

"I'm sure you saw the video and can figure out my answer"

"Speaking on videos, the video of you giving that stripper a beat down was a classic I never knew you had that side to you"

I didn't know I had that side of me either.

"What caused you to go off like that?"

"I just don't tolerate the disrespect when I have done nothing to an individual"

" There was also things floating around that the woman you fought was the mother of Nipsey's daughter"

"I wasn't aware of that until I was already put into the LAPD database and she had dropped the charges shout out to my nigga Slim for getting me from jail"

I did miss some of the people back in Crenshaw especially him, everyone here for the most part were so fraudulent and uptight.

"I see the change in you and it is beautiful,I knew you had some ratchet in you and I just love to see you embrace it, will you making any plans of going back?"

"You know I have because I do kind of miss it there"

"Will you be in contact with Nipsey if you do"

I glared at her for being messy with me because she knew like every other blogger that things weren't Kosher with us after the hospital incident that ended up on TMZ.

"Alrighty then"

We ended the podcast and discussed more into why I was there and how Cane had saved my life.

"Bitch you a Crippppp"

"Naybahooood" I proudly belted out throwing up my set.

"Erin, I need you to go back to John and see if the role is still open, it's for you I can feel it"

"I don't know"

"Don't make that nigga fuck up your check go out there do what you got to do and show him how much he fucked up by playing you"

I sighed digging into my purse.

"It's not only about him stopping me from going back, I would love to see if John still has the lead role open for me but time is not on my side now Amanda"

I slid the object over to her, sighing to myself at what I had gotten myself into.

" I took four of them two days ago, I'm pregnant"

Amanda looked between the test and my face with her mouth hanging open.

"Bitch we are in a time where technology is so advanced you can't allow this to stop you from reaching your goals, but I am shocked"

"How can I even go through with this pregnancy I don't even know Nipsey like that, I feel like a slut for getting pregnant by somebody I only knew for a week"

" It's women everyday having one night stand babies"

I laughed at her goofiness, I hadn't even made a doctor appointment yet because I wasn't sure of what I wanted to do.

"Bitch let me help your ass!"

Amanda took out her phone clicking away at it while I put the test back in my purse.

I bounced my leg drinking more water nervously, I was afraid to hear his response.

How could you work around pregnancy? Even though I had no symptoms how could I hide my stomach once it began growing.

God was looking out for me, I was so happy to hear I still had the role and that my pregnancy wouldn't stop the show.

I smiled feeling better than I did for past almost four weeks.

She hung up and we held each other's hands screaming in excitement.

" Secure the bag Erinnnnnnn"

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