: W60th Street

This was the true definition of cultural shock; my life was nothing but money and lavish living. I couldn't believe people actually lived like this or how the government could allow them to live like this.

" Here some more rules"

Nipsey spoke to me while walking into his living room putting on Converse and tying them up.

"Ain't gonna be no selfies or Instagram story shit when you wit me, I live a low key life and I'm tryna keep it dat way"

"Anything else?" I questioned with an annoyed tone. Nipsey tossed a hat and black gloves over to me, it got chilly at night in California during winter months but not this cold to where I needed to place on gloves and hat.

" Dis what you gonna wear when we rob niggas, so they can't tell who you are and where to look for you and for the cops not to catch you but honestly, they don't be giving a fuck about about Black on Black crime"

I put the beanie on my head and the gloves over my hands, Nipsey laughed at me, I was tired of people making me out to be a joke just because I was inexperienced on certain things.

"I have a rule too"

"What?"

"Instead of laughing at my cluelessness of this life just teach me what to do" Nipsey reaches over to me pulling my beanie down my face I could see through the holes cut in them.

" It's a ski mask not a hat to keep ya head warm and da gloves strictly to not put any finger prints down or show any tattoos on yo hand to give you away"

I was really getting ready to participate in a robbery, oh how I could see John laughing at what I was going through just on my first day and Lord my mother would drop dead if she got a whiff of what I was up to.

"What do I have to do?"

" Sit in da back seat and just watch me and my nigga Cane do all da work, if shit go sideways hop in da front seat and be ready to drive for us"

I prayed it wouldn't be taken that far, the smallest things caused me so much anxiety and fearfulness, especially illegal activity.

" You ready?"

" I guess so" How could you ever be ready for something like this? who were they going to rob? somebody innocent? maybe set me up to rob me?

Anytime I second guessed being here I thought of John's question and the answer remained the same. I wanted this so badly I was tired of being overlooked by A list directors and producers.

" It's a gun underneath my seat just in case shit get too real" Nipsey talked so calmly like he wasn't speaking on something that could get us both killed, my heart thumped at knowing I would have to be around a gun but I wouldn't show it.

" I don't know how to use a gun" I pulled back the ski mask, catching my breath a little.

" If a nigga bussin at you , you gonna figure out real fast how to buss back"

We strolled out of the house together, the same guy from across the street was now leaned up against Nipsey's car.

"Erin, Cane, Cane, Erin"

Nipsey introduced us, I practiced my head nod and wave, Cane nodded back without laughing at me, maybe I was making a little progress already.

"You from another white movie I seen"

"Yeah that's why I told you my name earlier"

Nipsey stepped in between us with him standing over me, I felt small with the way he looked me over, one thing about him, he was intimidating.

"Another thing you can't be throwing ya name out to every mothafucka you meet, we gotta get you a nickname"

"How do I pick one?"

"You usually pick off of either where you from or something apart of yo personality"

"I'm from the hills" Cane snapped his finger like he did earlier when he said something on the tip of his tongue.

"Hill can be her nickname cuz, she from da hills and she proper as fuck like Whitley who went to Hillman"

"Why not nickname her Whitley then?" Nipsey asked, Cane nodded his head.

"Shit still corny"

"Word"

They laughed and dapped climbing into the car, I quickly learned chivalry wasn't a thing out here and without waiting for either one to open my door, I did it myself climbing into the backseat.

"We gonna let yo nickname come naturally"

"For now what do I do?" I asked curiously, Nipsey turned around in his seat staring back at me.

"Keep yo motherfuckin mouth shut, you ain't gotta speak to every motherfucka you encounter, you hit em wit da head nod and keep it pushing"

"How do I make friends?"

Cane laughed but Nipsey remembered my request, he sighed rubbing his face.

"It ain't no friends in da streets, Cane my nigga cuz we in da same set but dat don't mean shit either, Cane you trust me cuz?"

"Hell nah you trust me?"

"Fuck no"

I was so puzzled, how could they be friends if they didn't even trust each other?

"A major rule in da game is you don't put shit pass anybody, I dont give a fuck if it's yo parents you can't trust nobody but yo self and God"

"Why?"

"Da moment you go and put yo trust in a nigga I promise you he gonna turn on you"

"Cuz you preaching" Cane chimed in.

I sat quietly taking in some new information, I could see why John wanted me here I had no knowledge of this life so how could I portray it?

"Who are we robbing?"

"All yo ass need to know is when you see a nigga dat don't look like us running towards you to grab dat piece and start bussin"

"Is it a high chance I'm going to have to shoot?" Cane chuckled shaking his head.

"Shorty you don't know shit, you ain't gotta know if it's a high chance, you just stay on guard like it always is gonna be a shootout dat way you stay ready"

"How do I stay ready?"

"Damn you ask a lot of fucking questions" Nipsey complained, asking questions was apart of the way I learned new things.

"She asking legitimate questions Nip, she here to do a documentary she gotta know her facts"

Cane understood me where as Nipsey looked at me as being annoying, I just wanted to get it right, so I could be convincing during my role.

"Aight so you stay on guard by making sure da burner is close by" Cane could see the confusion in my face "Burner is another word for gun"

"Alright so what I put it in my pocket?"

"Nah it won't fit in yo pocket, when you in da backseat you keep da burner in ya lap"

I stared underneath Nipsey's seat at the black gun, unsure of even what type it was which wasn't important to me because I was too scared to touch it let alone put it in my lap.

"You ain't got to be scared of dat shit cuz, it's on safety lemme show you"

Cane reached back grabbing hold of the gun he pointed to the trigger on the gun.

" You push dat shit forward it's gonna unlock then you gonna push dat shit back when you feel like you got to use it, you ain't gotta worry about it when it's on safety cause it won't shoot" Cane passed the gun back, I eased it onto my lap with shaking hands.

"What if I have to shoot?"

"You take da burner off of safety, start bussin"

I sunk back into the chair taking this all in, my rich ass was really going to commit a crime for the first time in my life, not some little petty crime but a dangerous crime.

"We gonna go inside and keep da car running if we come out bussin you gotta be ready to have our backs"

John would have to up my pay for what I had to go through to just get a lead part in a film.

"She gonna be straight, I can tell she got a little heart"

Whatever Cane just told Nipsey clearly was positive, and I appreciated him for having some faith in me, unlike his friend.

"Thank you"

"Alright we going in pull yo mask down" I did as I was told watching the two men get out the car with their guns held down by their sides.

"Please God keep Nipsey and Cane safe with whatever they have to do, please don't punish them they obviously are doing it because they need it, keep me safe and if I have to buss at somebody let me be able to shoot right to protect them"

My prayer was cut short by gun fire, I scrambled to the floor of the backseat, hands trembling taking off the safety because clearly something had gone wrong if they had just got there and already were shooting.

"Hill! Buss yo shit"

I could hear Cane yell at me, I got up slowly seeing a big man rushing towards the car with a silver gun in his hand. I held my gun up out my window squeezing my eyes shut and shooting.

"Grab da loot Nip" Cane yelled through the loud gun shots,

I opened my eyes seeing the man laying in a pool of blood, did I kill him? Nipsey tried grabbing for the bag but more men came out of the warehouse shooting.

"Hill!"

Cane snatched my door open jumping on top of me, I could feel his body jerk a few times while on top of me, my heart pounded out of my chest, and I went deaf temporarily out of pure fear.

"Fuck!"

Nipsey cursed and started driving, I struggled to slide from under Cane who gripped onto me tightly, his body weight becoming heavier on me.

"Oh my God, Nipsey!" I screamed at my hands covered in blood, he glanced over his shoulder eyes getting slightly wide at the sight.

"Shit! Yo Cane!"

I pushed him over with every bit of strength I had, I put my hand on his chest to see if he was still alive, his heartbeat was faint.

"Cane we are going to get you help, okay?"

I tried finding the gunshot wounds to stop wherever the bleeding was coming from, his chest was soaked with blood. Cane's head rested in my lap his eyes half open.

"Nipsey hurry we got to get him to the hospital" I yelled hitting the back of his chair with my blood covered hand, while cradling Cane's head in my lap.

"Nah man you know where to go" Cane struggled to speak, blood seeping out of his mouth.

"Cuz I can't do you like dat"

"Man I ain't gonna make it just do like I say"

Not gonna make it? He couldn't die not like this, he was way too young and he had been nothing but nice to me, this had to be a joke on me there was no way I would have to watch somebody die.

" Erin on hood you was bussssssssssin cuz!"

He smiled like a proud parent, showing off his blood stained teeth, I laughed through my tears seeing his skin become pale,

"You can't die, I prayed for you to be safe"

"Its aight I'm straight, keep my nigga straight he need a smart bougie chick to get him out of here"

"Okay"

I cried looking to the roof of the car, I could feel his chest rise and fall roughly as he took his last breath in my arms.

"Cane?" I rubbed his chest but he was already gone.

"It's no cameras on dis block I'm going to stop and you got to push him out" Nipsey clenched his jaw and gripped his steering wheel not even looking back to see if I was okay.

" What? He's your friend you can't toss him in the street like that" I shouted, crying even more. How could he just be okay with dumping his friend like a bag of trash in the middle of the street?

"Erin dis shit happen all da time just push him out!"

Nipsey stopped his car I reached over opening the back door, pushing on Cane with all my strength that I had left in me, his body eventually fell out onto the ground with a loud thud.

"Aight here take dis phone call 911 and report a body in da middle of West 57th and Chesley Ave"

He tossed the flip phone at me, I swallowed my shaky voice to keep myself composed while dialing 9-1-1.

"This is 911 what is your emergency?"

"I-I just saw a body in the middle of West 57th and Chesley Ave"

"Ma'am can you tell if they are hurt?"

"He looks dead and he had blood on his shirt"

"Hang up" Nipsey mouthed to me angrily, I closed the door, looking out the window at Cane until I couldn't see him anymore.

I didn't care how I looked taking the ski mask off, Nipsey stared through his rear view at me, grabbing a tissue from his center console passing it back.

"Here you got boogies and shit"

Tonight was a reality check for me, losing my nigga and almost getting myself and Erin killed just for some fast money that I left behind. Honestly money wasn't more important than life.

"You want something?"

I sat in the drive-thru of In-N-Out Burger waiting to place our order for dinner, I could hear Erin still sniffing in the backseat.

"How can you eat when your friend is dead?"

"I grew up in dis shit I loss a lot of friends" I leaned out the car window to order both of us some food, it was true I loss a lot of close friends to this shit and felt like it was time to give this shit up because nothing good ever came out of it.

" I'm sorry I'm so inexperienced at watching somebody die in my arms, I didn't know that was something I needed to learn"

I shrugged pulling around to pay for the food, with the blunt I was gonna smoke I needed this food for when I got the munchies.

"You still got boogies" I laughed at how she looked like a bad ass kid with her crusty nose.

"Now isn't the time to joke someone's son is dead"

"Cane's mom been dead since he was a kid, at least now he up there wit her"

I got the food putting in the passenger seat, glancing over my shoulder I caught of view of Erin looking out the window with tears rolling down her face, her clothes a bloodied and her hands stained in Cane's blood, shit wasn't a pretty sight.

" When you go inside take dem clothes off and bag them up so I can burn dem"

"But If I burn it then I will only have two sweat suits to wear"

"Buy more you got enough bread for dat" Erin chewed the inside of her cheek like she had something to say but instead kept her mouth shut.

"What did you get from the robbery?"

"Nothing I left da bag"

Erin scoffed getting out of the car, taking out her phone to check her emails and text messages.

" Was all of this worth it? Losing your friend almost being killed, you gonna go back out there and do it again?"

"My nigga would have been straight if you wasn't around he got killed protecting yo ass!"

Erin flinched at my words, she blinked a few times turning away from me, I opened the front door going inside.

"You got bathroom first"

"I'm just going to the room" She spoke quietly with her head bowed walking up the steps, I could see that she had no fight left in her.

"Don't forget to bag up dem clothes"

I sighed going to the kitchen to wash my hands before smoking my blunt, I put the bag of food into the fridge losing my appetite just thinking about how my nigga Cane was gone.

Bro did that shit go left?

Way left, Cane gone bro.

Cane had been my nigga since middle school so this death cut the deepest and it was an eye opener that I didn't want to be next to be dumped out on Chesley Ave.

This right here show you got to get out of those streets and team up with me to get our dreams started.

We need money for that

I finished smoking and decided to check on Erin because she hadn't been down yet to get any food or at least something to drink.

The bag of clothes was outside the door, I bent down to get them hearing her crying.

"Aye Erin you hungry or anything?"

I was type harsh on her and shouldn't have blamed her for Cane dying when you in the streets as heavy as we were, it was only two ways to end up and that was jail or in the grave, her showing up didn't increase those chances doing dumb shit like robbing a rival gang did.

"No I just want to sleep"

The way she was crying it didn't seem like she would be getting sleep anytime soon, I went to the bathroom grabbing a prescription bottle of sleeping pills. Inside my room I got her a bottle of water.

"Yo can I come in?"

"It's your house do what you want"

Erin was balled up on the bed with Cane's blood still on her hands, I got my computer chair sitting in it rolling over to her.

" Shit is fucked up out here and I know I look heartless but I'm not I'm just conditioned and aware of consequences being in da streets"

" I shouldn't have come he could still be alive"

"Nah it was messed up for me to blame you, dat was a dummy mission niggas knew we was coming and was ready to kill us when we walked in"

I got two pills from the bottle holding them and the bottle of water out to her.

"What's this?" Erin sat up wiping her face.

"Something to help you sleep, we got a long day tomorrow"

"Does it involve robbing again? Because I don't think I can watch you die next, you are too young and have so much more life to live"

Her words hit me hard, that she actually cared about me living when she barely knew me and that she cared more than I did about myself.

" Take these and get some sleep I come in at seven in the morning to record then at ten we go to Crenshaw and Slauson to sell tees and tube socks"

"What about Cane?"

"He's dead Erin"

"I know that but what about a funeral or something"

I stood up ignoring her because I couldn't watch her cry anymore once she found out there would be no funeral for him.