It was a Wednesday morning and Ky'Mon was forcing me to go see this Mrs Arya.

I didn't wanna talk about it, Koko doesn't even know and he's forcing me to talk to some stranger.

So here i was in her office looking at my feet as she stared at me.

"Mrs Bells", she began.

"I don't want to talk about it", i replied immediately.

"Why?".

"If you ignore a problem, it'll go away".

The woman laughed softly.

"Not this problem, Mrs B-. Can i call you Tiesha?".

I nodded.

"Well, you can call me Preya. Talk to me Tiesha, it's just you and i".

"Uhm i need to use the restroom", i stood up not waiting for her to reply.

I got to the restroom and locked the door. Then i went to the sink and stood in front of the mirror.

Then i cried.

Everything i couldn't say, i let it out through tears.

Then someone knocked on the door.

I quickly cleaned myself and went out. Then i took my bag and went home with Koko. Thankfully, she didn't ask me anything.

Friday came and i had to go back to that dreadful place.

This time, she offered to let Koko in so I'd be able to talk but she was wrong.

I can't talk with Koko there, i won't be able to.

Then Monday came. Still nothing.

But Ky'Mon was trying his best. He tried to make me feel comfortable.

Ky'Mon has a high libido but if he was horny, he didn't show it.

He let me do things at my own pace even if he can be pushy. He dedicated most if not all of his time to me.

Always asking if i need something or if I'm okay.

I went again on Wednesday even though i didn't want to go.

It felt like i was just wasting time and money.

"When people say time heals, i do not believe that Tiesha. You're never going to heal if you don't let go. Be very honest with me, how would you feel if your husband or best friend or someone close was also acting like this?".

"I would want them to open up".

I couldn't imagine Koko or Ky'Mon suffering as i was. Still is.

"Because you want to help them right?".

I nodded.

"And because you love them".

I nodded again.

"And you know they also love you?".

I nodded and bit my lower lip.

"So put yourself in their shoes. How do you think they feel knowing you're like this?. If you don't want to do it for yourself, do it for them, your daughter".

"I can't, it's hard", i looked at her.

"It hurts just thinking about it", a tear escaped my eye.

That was where we stopped on that Wednesday.

And i cried that night, they weren't quiet sobs. I cried all night long as Ky'Mon held me tightly in his embrace.

I made him so worried that he also cried while begging me to stop crying.

Even Lowe was downcast, he made sure to call everyday and sometimes, i would hear him yelling at Ky'Mon for not giving me proper treatment.

When Friday came, Ky'Mon wanted to come with me but Preya wouldn't allow it. She said we would only be going backwards.

"Tiesha, you need to say something", Preya passed me the ginger tea.

"I don't know if i can ever recover from this. If Ky'Mon knows, it'll hurt him. I can't tell him or even Koko. It's too much".

"Kahlil Gibran once said your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding".

"It's going to hurt at first but it'll get better and if you don't talk about it, it's going to keep hurting. Okay, how about it stays between us?".

"If there's a book in your hand and a record player recording, i don't think it's between us then", i looked at her.

She sighed and dropped the book then switched off the recorder.

"Total privacy. Just you and i, Tiesha".

I sighed and swallowed hard.

"This isn't my first time getting therapy. I was uh seven years old at that time", i paused and looked at her.

"Cmon go on", she cajoled gently.

"My mom died when my sister was born and my dad was a very busy business man. That's why he got us bodyguards to know we were safe. We had one each and i got attached to mine. I had no mother figure and my dad was always busy".

I closed my eyes in pain and bit back the tears. I felt my heart compressing as childhood memories came back.

"That's when it started. First, it was a simple kiss on the cheek or something. One time, i caught him masturbating and-and-and".

I burst into tears and coiled my hands in between my thighs.

"It's okay, Tiesha. Take it slow. I know it's overwhelming".

"He told me to touch him. He put me on his lap and brought out his-", i swallowed hard and sniffed back snort.

"Then he raised my dress and put his hand in my underwear. He rubbed my uhm pussy a-", i closed my thighs together and just let the tears fall.

I looked at Preya, she had this pity look on her face.

"He touched me until it became an everyday something. Sometimes, he would rub his tip on my-my-. He said he wanted me to grow a little", I spoke painfully slow.

"One day, he didn't come to work because dad wanted to spend time with his children and my body was feeling some kind of way because i was used to his touch so i touched myself and dad caught me".

I cried loudly as i held my head in my hands.

"The look on my father's face wa-".

"It's alright Tiesha, it's just memories", I nodded slowly and continued.

"I explained to dad and dad k-took him to Prison and he later died there".

"Tiesha, I'm so sorry about your past. You didn't deserve any of that, no one does".

"That's not all", i said as i wiped away snort.

Her eyes widened in surprise.

"My dad died so i had to be taken away for a while".

"Don't you have family members?", she asked.

"Just one other from my dad's side but the parents were also dead so it was my older cousin that took me away. Mom was an only child".

"Oh i see but why would he take you away?".

"Something happened. New country, new people. My cousin was busy settling matters here so it was just me and my sister. I got raped by the most popular boy in my high school then".

"Oh my God", Preya exclaimed making me nod.

My heart felt like it was being ripped apart as hot tears cascaded down my face. Bile rose in my throat and i shivered at the memory but i wanted to let it all out, once and for all.

"He did the same things Zane did. He kidnapped me, drugged me and recorded it".

"And they both said the same thing, I belong to them", i laughed bitterly.

"Judas got away with it because my cousin moved us back the next weekend so i just buried it inside of me and then, Zane happened".

Preya stared at me for a long time before she spoke.

"This is one of the worst cases I've dealt with. You've faced Child Abuse, molestation, Rape, emotional trauma and you're still here standing so strong".

I nodded.

"Preya, i wanted to kill myself after the rape but i couldn't because of my sister. She had already lost two parents. I couldn't tell my cousin because he would outright kill Judas and i didn't want him to go to prison".

"Tiesha, I'm not trying to give you an option but you still have to tell someone else. I know it's going to take time and I'll be there with you every step you take".

"You don't understand Preya. Just look at how you acted when i told you and you're even a stranger. I don't want Ky'Mon to look at me another type of way. I don't want Koko and Lowe to see me in a new light and i definitely can't tell my sister".

"We're going to take it one step at a time Tiesha, we'll start with one person and we'll see how that goes".

I sighed and looked at her slowly.

"So who do you think i should tell first?".

"Your husband".