《Forever | ✓》23. Thoughts
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Serena
After Liam and Bea had left from the gallery, we all began to call it a night as well. We were all so excited to have Chris and Miguel back, but the tiredness quickly caught up to us after being on our feet for long while.
I really don't know why I choose to wear heels sometimes, and today was another day I made the stupid decision.
Throughout the evening of the gallery event, Bea remained at my side, not wanting to let me go. It was adorable and I didn't want her to leave either. I had really grown attached to her. She was just so cute, I just loved seeing her.
Bea wanted to spend more time with me, more than just a quick visit. So I promised her a day, with just the two of us, not even Liam.
Of course, I did ask him before committing, but I had a feeling he wouldn't say no.
He wasn't as icy and cold as he was before, he'd really thawed.
A few weeks ago, at night of the photo exhibit, I caught his eye a couple of times. Although he'd look away, it wasn't a look full of anger or annoyance. It was just...different.
Today was the day Bea had chosen for us to hang out. Her school was closed for the day, so it was perfect for us to hang out.
Stood in front of Liam's door, I waited for him to open it after I knocked.
Not too long after, it was opened.
"Hey, I just wanted to-..." I began to say, but when I noticed Liam's distressed state, my smile quickly faded. "-what's wrong?" I asked him.
"Bea's ill," he sighed, closing the door as I stepped inside. "Sorry, you won't be able to take her out today," he said, and my face scrunched up a little. Did he really think I cared about that right now?
"Is she okay? What's wrong? Can I see her?" I threw the questions at him, feeling a sense a worry within me.
The way Liam looked right now, just made me a worry more. He looked stressed, and in turn that was stressing me out.
"She's sleeping right now," he said, and I stepped forward.
"I'll be quiet," I promised.
Liam just gave me a nod and I put my bag and coat down, and also took off my heels, so the sound of it didn't accidentally wake her.
Trying to step gently, I walked into Bea's room. She was sleeping soundly in bed, hugging her little toy turtle. Her little button nose looked a little flushed, as did her cheeks. I could hear her deep breathing, the kind that you would do when ill, and it tugged at my heart seeing her so...quiet.
Bea was always so full of energy and enthusiasm. For anyone else it would be exhausting, but it was just how she was, and I loved her for it.
I tiptoed out of her room and came back into the living room, where Liam was now sat on the sofa, his head buried in his hands.
He seemed to hear me come back into the room and his head lifted up, a polite smile coming onto his face.
"What happened?" I asked him, taking a seat on the sofa near him.
He sighed deeply again, shaking his head gently. "She complained of a stomach ache and then developed a fever."
"Did you see a doctor?" I then asked him.
He nodded at my question. "I took her this morning, she'll be okay, just needs some medicine and rest."
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Liam looked like he was in pain as well. I imagined this wasn't easy for him. Bea was his world and right now his world was hurting, and there wasn't much that he could do to help.
There was a silence between us, as if we were just waiting for the time to pass and Bea to get better, but the truth was that we both knew it wouldn't be so quick.
"You might not want to be here. You may get ill too," Liam said, breaking the silence.
I looked at him in disbelief. "Where else will I be?" I asked him and he smiled at my question. "I promised Bea I'd spend the day with her, so here is where I'll be," I added with determination.
I really didn't want to get ill, but Bea meant more. I'd just have to take some remedies tonight and hope they keep me well.
"Well, she's still sleeping, so I guess it's just us for now," Liam said.
I raised a brow at his words. "Don't sound too excited."
A look of panic then seemed to wash over Liam, as my words sunk in, but I don't think the sarcasm that I had intended followed through.
"No, I didn't-...I wasn't," he stuttered out in a panicked voice, which then made me laugh, because I couldn't hold it in anymore.
"Relax, I was kidding," I said, biting my lip to stop myself from laughing any louder, scared to wake up Bea.
I think my laughter was contagious, since Liam was smiling to himself, until he grew serious again, and my brows furrowed together a little, wondering how the mood just changed so suddenly.
Liam leaned forward. "No, I'm sorry."
I could not be more confused right now. "Why are you-"
"-For everything," Liam said, cutting off my words.
Again, I was lost. "What?"
Liam opened and closed his mouth for a moment, as if he was trying to get a hold on his words before he said them. Which in reality, would be a first for him, with his past track record.
"I've been incredibly rude to you in the past and-" he then began to say, but I let out an amused breath and shook my head.
"You said sorry for that," I reminded him.
It really wasn't that long ago for him to forget that he'd apologised already.
"No, I didn't," Liam said with a determined voice. "It wasn't good enough."
His words caught me by surprise, since I wasn't even sure where they were coming from.
I mean the last time, his apology came from me kind of giving him a sort of reality check back at the park.
"Liam, I-" I began, but I'm not sure he even heard me, since he carried on talking.
Before I could say anything more, Liam spoke up again. "I did come after you that day," he revealed, his eyes trained onto mine, as if waiting to judge my reaction.
I could feel my eyes widen considerably at his words, to the point where they probably looked scary.
"You did?" My voice came out in more a whisper.
He nodded at my question. "After you left, I felt instant regret of all the dumb shit I'd just said to you. It was a dumb plan to ever make you leave because I was scared. I went to grab Bea and came after you, but by then you were gone and Bea started to cry," he said, running a hand through his hair.
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I felt a lump forming in my throat. "Why didn't you tell me? Or call me? I would've come back."
At this point, it was feeling it harder to speak.
He came after me.
I just couldn't believe that. After the way we left things, I didn't think he would, and spent four years thinking if only he did come find me or just called me back. Maybe we wouldn't have fallen out so much and carried on to be friends.
Liam propped his elbows on his knees, leaning forward and looking down.
"I guess I thought it was better and that if you stopped, only to leave later on, I'd be saving myself from that kind of hurt," he sighed and then looked up at me. "
I could sense the regret in his voice, his eyes filled to the brink with the emotion.
Liam looked at me, a solemn expression on his face. "I know I said I hate you, but I really didn't. I could never, Rena."
"I wish you would've told me all of this," I said to him.
"There is a lot that I wish I could've done differently in the past, but I can't change that," Liam said and I nodded, relating to his words.
He then cleared his throat and stood up. "Instead, I'd like to be better now and apologise for being an absolute dick to you."
Whilst he looked genuine, I looked a little amused.
"You weren't a-" I began to say as I stood, but when I saw Liam raise a brow at me, it was clear that he didn't believe me.
"-Okay you were," I laughed. "But I forgive you, Liam. I truly do," I said, giving him a smile.
A wide grin broke out on Liam's face.
"Oh, thank you," he breathed out and before I could comprehend what was happening, I was pulled into a bone-crushing hug.
Liam wrapped his arms around my small frame. The height difference didn't seem to be an issue, as he lifted me up slightly to his own tall stature.
As soon as my feet were lifted off the ground, I held onto Liam's shoulders, scrunching the material of his t-shirt in my clenched fists.
I could feel Liam's breath on my skin, as his face was nuzzled into the crook of my neck, tightening the hug.
As I moved a little in Liam's embrace, it must have snapped him back to the present, as he carefully placed me back down onto the ground.
I looked up towards him, only to his face turning a faint shade of red, as if he were...blushing?
Clearing my throat, I looked away. "I'll go check on Bea," I said and quickly turned to avoid the awkwardness.
"I'm going to make her something to eat," I heard Liam then say, but I was speeding out the room by then.
Liam
I saw Rena practically running out the room.
What the hell was going on with me?
I mean, I didn't regret the hug, but I didn't mean for it to be so...comfortable.
When I pulled her into my arms, I wasn't exactly sure what I was thinking, but I was just so relieved for her to say she forgave me for everything.
After speaking to Bea, that night after the exhibition, I just felt like maybe I needed to apologise once again. It just reminded me how horrible I was before.
In my happiness, I hadn't even realised that I had even lifted her off the ground. Holding her in my arms just felt so oddly right, I wasn't thinking about anything else, but that feeling itself.
I heard a slight yelp leave Rena when I held her and then felt her hold onto my shoulders, her hands clutching tightly.
But I'd never let her fall.
I think I need my head checked. I just kept having these crazy thoughts and if Rena ever found out, she may never speak to me again.
Shaking my head, I went to the kitchen to make lunch.
Making lunch didn't take all too long, since I knew what to make. My special magic soup, well that's what Bea called it.
It's something I made to make her feel better when she was ill, which wasn't often, but she believed it worked and that was enough.
I walked into Bea's room, ready to tell the both of them that soup was ready, but instead stopped at the threshold when I saw the sight in front of me.
Rena was sat on the bed, next to Bea, as she had nestled herself up onto Rena's lap, who was gently stroking her face.
She really didn't care about getting herself sick being so close to Bea. Anyone else would've probably wanted to keep their distance, but not her.
"Hi, baby," Serena softly spoke and I watched as Bea slowly awoke from her slumber.
She yawned and stretched a little, looking around the room as if she were lost.
When her eyes finally landed on Rena, she let out a small gasp.
"Serena? You're here," she shouted, but then started coughing when it was too much for her.
Rena smiled, rubbing Bea's back. "I am, sweetheart. How are you feeling?"
My daughter just gave her signature pout. "My throat hurts," she complained, moving to sit on Rena's lap, wrapping her arms and legs around her like a Koala.
"Aw, baby. I know, but you'll be better soon," she gently rocked her. "Your Dad made us lunch, want to come eat with me?"
Bea nodded. "Okay," she said, but didn't let go of Rena and so she just picked her up.
I didn't want to seem like a creep watching her, but then again it is my daughter with her, so I'm not sure if that was exactly creeping, but I'd still rather not let her catch me.
Swiftly making my way back to the kitchen, I began stirring the soup nonchalantly.
When I saw the two come into the kitchen, with Rena still holding Bea, I just gave them a smile, as if I hadn't been watching them a moment ago.
"How you feeling, Bea?" I asked her.
I walked towards her and placing the back of my hand against her forehead to check for temperature. Thankfully there wasn't one anymore.
"Sick," she mumbled, sniffling slightly, her nose still a little pink.
I gently took her out from Rena's hold and kissed her cheek.
"Don't worry. I've made you some soup to help," I told her.
Despite her illness, she grinned at me. "Thank you, Daddy."
After one more kiss on the cheek, I placed her on the chair, as Rena took a seat next to her and I then served the two of them.
"Here, eat up, princess. It'll help you feel better," I told her, placing the Elsa spoon she loves, next to her bowl.
I grabbed my own bowl of soup and sat down next to Rena, so that I was opposite Bea.
"It's too hot," Bea said, putting her spoon back into the bowl.
I was about to get up, when Rena placed her hand on my arm. She gave me a smile and then turned to Bea.
"Here, let me," she offered and picked up a spoonful of soup, blowing on it slightly and fed her.
At this point, I had forgotten about my own food and couldn't take my eyes away from the heart-warming sight in front of me.
Bea smiled even more when Rena dipped in a piece of toast in the soup, which I had cut up in the shape of stars. I kept the leftover pieces for myself instead.
I've always tried to be both a father and a mother to Bea, wanting to give her everything and never miss her mother's presence.
Usually, seeing someone being this close to Bea and having her attention would have me a little hurt and a little jealous, however right now, I'm so glad to have Rena here.
When some of the soup had gotten onto Bea's chin, Rena wiped it away, earning a giggle from Bea.
Rena turned to look at me and her expression turned into one of confusion.
She then looked down at my bowl, gesturing for me to eat and I nodded, beginning to eat myself.
Once Bea was finished, she looked up at me. "Can we watch a movie?" she asked and I nodded.
"Sure, sweetheart. Why don't you choose which one?" I told her and she got up from her seat, making her way to the living room.
I guess the soup helped a little with her energy then.
"Thank you for being here. I think it's helping her feel better," I looked at Rena, as she helped me clear the dishes.
"Anytime," she smiled. "Besides, I got a free lunch and I'm about to watch a movie, so I'm pretty sure I'm winning here," she said so happily and I chuckled at her words.
Although I couldn't help but feel I'm actually winning here.
We both walked out the kitchen and into the living room, seeing Bea perched on the sofa, with a DVD in hand.
"This one," she said, holding out the DVD for Shrek, which I then took from her to put on.
Rena sat on one side of Bea and after putting on the movie, I sat on her other side.
Bea snuggled to Rena's side as the movie started, but to make sure I wasn't left out, she kept her hand in mine.
When I glanced over at Rena, she smiled at me too. It was the warm kind, one that made me feel fuzzy inside. Maybe I was getting sick, too?
At this point, I was praying I had just caught what Bea has, to help explain my thoughts.
Halfway through the movie, I slipped away to go the bathroom.
Upon coming back, I looked to the sofa and saw Bea had moved to sit on Rena's lap, laying her head on Rena's chest.
She gave me a lazy smile and I just shook my head amused, taking my seat back onto to sofa, now next to Rena, since Bea had sort of moved from between us and completely onto her.
As I was watching the movie, I suddenly felt a weight on my shoulder, and turned slightly, only to find Rena had fallen asleep too, her head now resting against my shoulder.
She had her arms wrapped securely around Bea, who was now letting out soft snores her in her sleep.
Too afraid to move, I sat there, letting Rena's head rest on me.
I tried to concentrate on the movie, but my thoughts were becoming a distraction, as I kept questioning myself...Why didn't this feel weird? Why did it feel nice?
I felt my cheeks warming up at my thoughts and just hoped, it was because I was ill and not anything else.
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