《Forever | ✓》5. Him
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Serena
It was him.
I knew his way too well, to know it was him without needing to turn around.
I've never been sucker-punched in my life, but I imagine the feeling would be the same as the one that I was experiencing right now.
The air in my lungs had seemed to have left me and I felt like I just lost the ability to breathe properly. Suddenly I was feeling a little nauseous, with my stomach churning and my hands were shaking and sweating.
This really wasn't how I expected this evening to go. I thought being alone here and not knowing practically anyone apart from Tiff wasn't great, but know everyone seemed to be popping up.
I took and slow, shaky breath and then finally turned around.
My mind was racing a mile a minute right now as I turned and also tried to provide how this would go, seeing Liam again, however everything suddenly went blank when I saw him and that he wasn't alone.
I could only blink slowly as my locked onto his.
It really was him. Liam.
He looked as shocked as I felt, with confusion and surprise on his face.
I was probably one of the last people he expected to see here, which was pretty much a mutual feeling.
He didn't look too different from the last time I had seen him, although he had a beard now, not completely full, but a bit more than just stubble, but it was still neat. His hair was shorter than it was before, with the sides kept short and a little long at the top.
However, his eyes were still the same.
My vision then drifted towards the little girl stood next to him, holding his hand.
It was her. The same little girl from earlier. Bea.
She tugged on his hand and he looked down towards her, before she then pointed towards me.
"Daddy, this is the lady who helped me. She said you would be worried about me," she told him.
As soon as she said the first word, my heart began to race uncontrollably and I let out a sharp breath, realising that she was in fact his little girl, his daughter.
"This is...oh my God," I said, my eyes wide with realisation.
Bea was grinning at me, whilst holding Liam's hand, a smile so pure and innocent.
Everything about her reminded me of Liam. Her brown hair, even her messy curls and the smile that she had on. She was like a mini version of him.
Her eyes, however, they were Julie's. That beautiful shade of emerald green.
"Do you know my whole family, Serena?" Tiff laughed and I turned my attention back to Liam.
Like me, it seemed he couldn't believe that I was actually here, standing in front of him.
"Rena? Dear, are you okay?" I felt a hand on my shoulder and glanced towards Emma, who looked concerned.
"I...I'm okay. I'm fine," I nodded. "I just need to...um, excuse me," I quickly walked away from everyone, because I really needed breath, without feeling like everyone was looking at me.
Whilst the party was held outside, there was a reception, or lounge area, to walk through first, to check in. Luckily for me, there was a couch there were I could just sit down for a moment.
My thoughts were racing, much like my pulse right now and I needed to calm myself down.
"Hey."
I turned my head slightly and saw Liam standing by one end of the couch, hands in his pocket and an awkward look on his face. I didn't see Bea with him, so I assumed that she must be with his parents.
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"Hey," I finally breathed out..
"I didn't expect this at all," Liam said and I nodded.
"Same. I mean, I didn't know anyone and now...you're here,"I said. "And not alone."
He nodded at me and we both looked at each other, a little lost and dazed, sort of unbelieving that this was happening. At least that was how I felt.
"We should probably talk," I then said, since that was probably overdue.
I had no idea that my day would turn out like this.
Everything was normal and then as if the universe had some kind of issue with that, it presented me with Liam and his daughter.
Liam sat down next to me, his arms resting on his thighs and looking down. This was awkward as hell.
"Where did you go?" I asked.
I was so worried when I didn't hear from him at all. Not a word. My mind immediately went to all the bad things and it was scary.
Five years and not a word. No call. No text. No even an occasional 'I'm okay'.
I only received occasional updates from my parents, who would sometimes hear from Liam's parents. We knew that he was okay, but that was it. I tried to reach out a few times, but there wasn't a response. It was like he was trying to disappear and he basically did.
When he didn't say anything and continued to look down at his hands, I spoke up again.
"You just left," I said.
I turned my head slightly to look at him and saw that he was frowning.
"She's such a special little girl," I commented, trying to fill in the awkward silence between us, because it was really uncomfortable. To be honest, I didn't really know what to say and I wondered if it was the same for him.
I'd only had a brief encounter with Bea, but she was truly radiant and beaming with positivity.
"She really is," Liam agreed, finally speaking.
I was then curious. "What's her full name?"
"Beatrice Rosalind Hunter," he replied.
His answer caused a small smile to come across my face.
In high school, we had an assignment for our English Lit class, based on Shakespeare's plays. Julie would always complain about her parents naming her Juliet and all the problems it brought up for her. She wished they'd chosen another name, instead of a Shakespearean one. I told her I liked Shakespearean names like Juliet, Rosalind, Viola, Beatrice, Katherina. They were pretty.
Her name was always a source of annoyance. Whereas I thought it was a pretty name, Julie didn't like it. I remembered when she told me that in her old school, she was teased about finding her Romeo. Whenever I would call her Juliet and she'd glare at me. Although she wasn't really someone who could glare without either feeling bad or just breaking out into a smile.
"It's a pretty name," I told him.
"She loved the name," Liam said.
Liam's voice then trailed off slightly, into a more softer tone. I glanced at him and saw the broken expression on his face, knowing he must be thinking about her.
I remember the day I got the phone call from my Mum. Her voice was muffled and hoarse from her crying, but the message was clear enough. Julie was no longer with us.
That day, I was stood in the middle of the street at the time, on my way to work when I got the call. I didn't even know what to do in that moment, except just stand there, unmoving.
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People were walked past me, traffic kept moving, the world was still spinning, yet it was like everything stopped.
From what I knew, Julie became pregnant soon after Liam and her had tied the knot. Apparently, it was a high-risk pregnancy and there would be complications, but Julie didn't care. She wanted this baby. She wanted this for Liam too.
I found out from my parents that Julie had given birth. It wasn't an easy labour and the baby was a month early. Julie had lost so much blood that it was thought she wouldn't make it, yet she held on, if only a little while. A couple of weeks after giving birth, Julie had passed on.
After that phone call from my Mum, I packed my bags and without a second thought, I left for Liam's home.
I was there, for as long as I could be, before I had to come back.
There was silence between us, as we both remembered the painful past.
It was like there was a tension between us, that just kept thickening into something that could be cut with a butter knife. It was weighing down on me and needed to be spoken about, like the elephant in the room. I wanted to avoid it, but I knew I couldn't.
"How are you?" I finally asked.
When I heard the scoff that left him, that surprised me and I turned to face him.
"Seriously?" He questioned, a cold look in his eyes that reminded me how he really wasn't the Liam that I once knew.
"I'm serious," I replied, not wavering under his glare.
Letting out a mocking laugh, he looked away from me. "You care now?" He asked and my brows knitted together, in both confusion and annoyance at the blatant accusation.
"What are you talking about? I've always cared," I told him.
I might've stayed away, but that never meant I didn't care about him.
"Bullshit," he spat out and my eyes widened.
"Liam-" I began to say, but the way he looked at me, it stopped me from speaking. His gaze was so detached and cold.
"No, Serena. You left. You keep leaving," he said.
I knew exactly what he was referring towards. I felt the guilt building up from his words, but also anger.
"I stayed. I stayed with you," I told him, yet his accusing look didn't fall.
"For three weeks!" He said. "Three goddamn weeks! You think that was enough? But like always, you left."
He held so much anger in his eyes for me. I'd seen it before, when I'd left after those three weeks and now I was seeing it again.
His words angered me to my core.
"Don't you dare," I gritted out.
"I thought you cared," he lashed out at me.
I held his glare with my own. "I cared" I snapped at him.
"You didn't even care about her dying!" He snarled and I clenched my fists, nails biting into my palm to keep my self from slapping him.
"Enough!" I yelled back at him, not caring if anyone heard us. "I cared about her and I care about you, but that doesn't mean I'm going to listen to all the bullshit you accuse me off. Julie meant a lot to me, more than you would ever know."
It was anger fuelling my words but I didn't care, I meant every word. Julie mattered to me and I wasn't about to let him tell me she didn't.
Liam let out a scoff, looking away from me. "I'm sure she did," he said, before looking back at me. "Why don't you just leave? It's what you do best anyway."
"You're not the only one who was in pain, Liam." I snapped back at him.
I could see the anger and pain swirl in the his eyes. "I suffered a lot more than anyone else. Don't you dare compare your pain to mine. I still live with it," he told me.
I knew better than anyone how much Julie meant to him and how much he loved her. Her death had hit him hard, and I remember the way he looked when I had gone to seem him after her death. He looked so broken, worse than I had ever seen him before.
He loved her and lived with the pain of her loss. But why didn't he get that he wasn't the only one who was hurting?
"See, that's the thing, I've never compared your pain to mine. Your loss was immensely greater to mine, but that didn't mean that my pain means nothing," I told him. "I'm not some emotionless monster."
Liam let out a laugh, a mocking laugh. "Aren't you? You stayed when it was convenient for you," he said.
"I stayed for you and only you," I told him. "I didn't even grieve or cry for Julie. Why? Because I held your baby in my arms and made sure that she didn't. I had to be strong for you."
He shook his head at me. "And when I needed you, you left. Once again, no contact."
"Don't." I warned him. "Don't you dare act like I just packed and left. You and I both know how I left. Despite that day, I called, texted, emailed. I even wrote to you. You never responded."
"Why should I? You should never have left me when I needed you most," he responded.
I couldn't believe him right now.
"I was there. I still would've been, even if I wasn't right next to you holding your hand," I said.
Liam then abruptly stood up, and I mimicked his movements. "You know what? You're just selfish, Rena" I flinched at his words, but he didn't stop there.
"You only cared when it was convenient for you. When you didn't have anything going on. When she was alive, did you ever come to see her? No. Did you ever call? No. You came when she was gone. You showed your concern a little too late and even when you did, it was only for a little while, until you probably assumed it was enough and now you could up and leave just like you always do," he ranted angrily.
As if that wasn't enough, he took a step closer to me with an ice-cold stare. "I used to think the world of you, but now, I don't even know who you are. I might even hate you."
His words left me reeling, leaving me speechless.
We stood there just holding each other's gaze.
He looked at me with so much anger and betrayal and I looked at him with hurt.
Once again the tension hung in the air until the sound of someone running caught my attention and the next thing I knew, I saw a little body launch themselves on Liam.
He immediately picked her up and held her close to him, placing a kiss on the top of her head.
"I'm sleepy," she mumbled, nuzzling herself into his shoulder and circling her little arms around his neck.
"Let's go home, sweetheart," he told her.
"Yeah," Bea replied, before she then turned her head to look at me and smiled. "Hi, again."
"Hi, Bumblebee," I tried to smile back.
"Are you crying?" She asked me. A pout formed on her face and she looked as if she was about to cry too.
I frowned. I probably looked miserable as hell, after the interaction I'd just had, but I was not crying surprisingly.
"No, sweetheart. I'm okay," I told her, trying to give her a better smile and she smiled back at me.
I didn't even have to look at Liam to know he was probably fuming and most likely glaring at me, but I didn't care.
"We have to go now, Bea." Liam said and she nodded, resting her head on his shoulder once again.
"Bye, Serena," she said and waved.
"Bye, Bumblebee," I replied.
They both then walked away, with Liam not even sparing a glance towards me.
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