I dare not look into his eyes.

I don't know how I uttered those words with such ease. His fingers had already left mine as we reached the other side of the road.

Its okay Anjali, don't cry. You know that he doesn't love you. Don't be sad. And don't cry. You have done enough harm already.

"Anjali are you serious?"

"Serious about what?"

"What you just said..."

I looked at him bewildered. Is he some sort of lunatic?

"Yeah..."

He will again start his long speech that he can never love a second person and will end up hurting me. Perhaps it's in my fate.

"Anjali..." there was a kind of gentleness in his voice. His gentleness scares me more than his anger. Whenever he's gentle I fear he will say, Anjali please pack your bags and baggage and return home.

"Anjali.. are you listening?"

"Yes.."

"I don't know if my feelings for you is love or not. In the past few months I have got attached to your presence. "

A silence followed between us. Somehow I tried to break the silence.

"How far is the place?"

"Almost there.."

The place was beautiful. Located in a village side area of Murshidabad, the place depicted the beauty of village life. There was a well in front of the house. A small shed was arranged for the guests. There were mango trees in the frontyard. The place breathed clean. I felt good after being out of Kolkata after a long time.

"Meet my wife, Shukhla", Rohan's brother introduced us.

"We couldn't attend your wedding. Thanks for coming to bless our daughter."

She's sweet.

I am too exited to meet the six months old baby.

My thoughts were broken by the cry of a baby. Shukhla excused herself to attend to her child.

She is a beautiful baby.

"Sorry, actually she is getting irritated by the presence of so many guests."

"Can I hold her Shukhla", I couldn't control my urge to take the child on my lap.

The baby started crying louder this time.

I am sacred! Did she get hurt or something!

I tried singing a lullaby to make the child happy, but it was in vain. She continued to cry.

I have an Idea! Girls generally love teddy bears. She will surely love the furry bear.

As I opened the gift wrapper and took out the massive teddy which I had carried with such difficulty. The pink bear scared the child to such an extent that she was about to jump out of my lap.

"Hey baby! Don't be afraid! It's just a toy not a real bear!"

Its human nature to reject the advice of elders. She is no exception.

As I sat helpless trying to make her quiet, with Shukhla glaring at me silently for making her child scared Rohan came to my escape.

"Anjali! She's afraid.. can't you see?"

"How to make her quiet?"

"Give her to me."

Rohan should have taken the job of baby sitting instead of a banker. He took her with such confidence as if he had been messing with babies for long.

"Shh! Baby don't cry", he maintained such a gentle smile on his face.

"Shh!! Don't cry dear.."

He kept on patting her back and finally a smile broke on her face.

She looks so cute when she smiles!

Rohan kept on showering love on her and she kept on smiling.

I wish he smiles like that when he's with me... if I would have been on his lap..

I controlled my overflowing emotions but couldn't stop staring at Rohan.

"Anjali, stop staring."

He knew that I was staring! I blushed to crimson red.

"Umm.. no not staring, just admiring the way you are managing her."

When finally she fell asleep Rohan handed her back to Shukhla.

"Come, let me show you your room."

The house was big enough to provide every relative who have come for night stay with a room.

The room had a queen size bed big enough to fit two people, but not big enough to sleep like roommates. Afterall Rohan treats me only as his roommate.

I can feel butterflies in my stomach and my ovaries doing a gala dance at the anticipation of sleeping with him. Oops I mean beside him.

We both were tired from today's trip. As we lied next to each other I wanted some mysterious force to bring him on top of me, even the opposite will do. If only we were the unlike pair of magnets!

"Rohan, you will be a good dad."

Even in the darkness I could feel his smile adorning his luscious lips.

"Thanks. Why do you feel so?"

"You managed her so well! Even Shukhla was unable to do so."

"Thanks but the credit can be given to Aisha actually."

"Why?"

"It was her idea to donate for the welfare of babies in orphanages. I often visited to the orphanage with her. I learnt the art of managing babies from there. Patience and love are the only things required to manage a baby. "

I realise some people have such deep impact on your life, you can never forget them.

Although no force could bring us close to the extent I wanted but I had the privilege to wake up next to Rohan to find his hands interwined with mine.

The rest of the day passed in the rice eating ceremony.

"Hey Rohan! We don't know her name yet."

"Shukhla what's her name?"

"Aarohi." She announced proudly. As soon as Rohan heard the name he went out of the room with a gloomy face.

Its Aarohi, not Aisha. What makes the name bring a gloom over his face?

I excused myself to find Rohan and found him staring at the rice fields absent mindedly.

"What happened Rohan?"

"Nothing Anjali."

"What's the significance of the name Aarohi?"

"Nothing. Please leave me."

"Tell Rohan." Sometimes a nagging wife is better than an ignoring wife.

" The first time I watched a movie with Aisha in a movie hall, I had some unforgettable memories. We were in our college days, young and free. The female protagonist of the movie had a name Aarohi. It ended with the death of the male protagonist and Aisha started crying. I never thought our love story will end with her death."

"So you don't like the name Aarohi?"

"No it's not like that. In order to lighten her mood I came up with a crazy idea. Why not create a combination of names for us? We tried for long Rohan+Aisha, Raisha and finally landed at Aarohi, which has all the alphabets of our names. "

"I didn't know you have so many good memories which hurt you now."

"I never thought that even one of the best memories of my life would hurt me one day."

I really dont know how to sympathise with someone who has lost his love.

"Thank you Anjali, your presence have helped to ease my pain a lot. If ever possible I will try to repay you in some way."

If you ever repay me, repay with the kind of love which can make even the sun, Earth and stars jealous.

"It's okay Rohan, remember the good times."

Exactly one month from today its Aisha's death anniversary. We will have to do a puja in her name. I don't know how my parents and Rohan will attend it. In the process of taking care of others I myself have forgotten that I too love her and miss her. I too have a heart which cries for her.