My mind is in a dilemma. I don't know what made me accept his marriage deal. It was a deal indeed. Only difference was that it didn't involve dealing with money but promises.

I am a person who trusts her instincts more than what society has to say. I don't know if I should involve my parents about this marriage deal as of now. A part of me is afraid about my momentary decision. How would have Aisha dii reacted if she would have been present? Well, this situation would have never arrived if she would have been alive. She would have been happily married and planning for a small and happy family. Mr Leukaemia came like the kidnapper who kidnapped the princess before she could marry the prince.

My my mind tossles and finds no solution the person I go is my best friend. She has the key solution to my every problem sealed with a lock.

"Hey Natasha , I have something important to share, can we meet?" , I texed her.

She: "Come to our favourite cafe."

I reached the cafe and found her waiting for me. Natasha, I have taken an important life changing decision.

"And is it you are going to propose that nerd from your class? "

Something more important.

" That you will date our hot professor who occasionally flirts with you?"

Something more important.

"You will buy a Lamborghini. I mean in your dreams."

Something more important.

" Stop beating about the bush and just tell. "

I will get married.

" Wait what? Has Zayn Malik proposed you that you have decided to get married at twenty one?"

No it's Rohan.

"I don't think there was a Rohan who topped your crush list. "

He was Aisha dii's fiancee.

Natasha was about to spill the coffee she was drinking. " Are you nuts Anjali? You will marry your dead sister's fiancee whom she dated for so many years?"

He proposed me for marriage and I agreed.

"How much money had your dad agreed to get Aisha dii married? I know such people can stoop too low for money. "

He never asked for dowry. He wants to marry me because of the last promise he had made to Aisha dii. He had promised to marry someone and move on in his life and also take care of me. He just wants to fulfil those.

" I don't think Aisha dii ever wanted him to marry you, even when she asked him to. "

I think he would be a good choice. He won't ever love me but he would care for me, respect me. What else does a girl wants? Love is something which is rare in a marriage. I won't have the fear of being cheated if I marry him. He is well settled too. Do I need something else?

" Do you think your parents will approve? This is entirely wrong Anjali. You won't even be able to feel jealous of the place he will give to Aisha. "

That is what he wants. He wants a wife who won't feel jealous of his love. And that is what I too want.

" You are just twenty one. He is twenty eight. And above all he loves your sister who is no longer in this world. Think about your decision. "

I came back home. I still don't know what to do. If Aisha dii would have been here, I would have curled her in her lap and listened to her life-lessons until both of us would have gotten into an argument. Then I would throw a pillow at her, she would throw it back to me and both of us would have fought like cats and dogs. I wouldn't give up until her pupils would start dialating and she would be on the verge of tears.

Pillow fights were our way of dealing with an argument. I stare at the pillow which she once used. As a child I always slept snuggling close to her and listening to stories from her. We would be chatting night long, until dad would knock at the door and scold us for not sleeping. I would mock her for being so old fashioned and tell her her hair smelled liked rotten fish for using that jasmine oil everyday. She would lecture me about the importance of oiling hair. I would turn a deaf eye to her until she would forcibly oil it. Her fingers did magic on my hair. Her touch was so pleasant. She was my all, my friend, my sister, my advisor and sometimes acted like mom too. Since the age of five there hasn't been a single day I didn't sleep with her. I love her. I miss her.

I shivered at the thought how she died with a peaceful smile on her lips on this bed. I am scared to sleep alone without her. I never switch off the lights. I hugged the last picture we had clicked and wondered about my decision.

Dii, are you upset with me?

Am I trying to gain something which was solely yours?

Am I choosing a wrong life partner?

Dii, I miss you.

You won't be present in my life's greatest event. I can't ask you how do you feel?

I am afraid to love, you know that. I am taking my decisions on something which you had taught me, to choose respect over love.

I just want one confirmation from you. Are you happy with my decision?

I was blabbering in my sleep when I saw her face. A radiant smile across it. It ached my heart. I want to hug her, I want to cry in her arms, I want to kiss her chubby cheeks and say "dii, no more pillow fights, I will be a good girl. Will you come back?"

She just smiles at me.

I am jealous, jealous of that Mr. Leukaemia. You just eloped with him! Never thought about us? I know his love ran in your blood, but what harm did we do? Wasn't it enough to bind you to this Earth? I wonder with whom should I be more angry with, you or him.

She just smiled at me.

I rose with a stir. I was dreaming. How badly I wish to see that smiling face! Yet, I have got answer to my question. I feel an inner peace. I think I should stick to my decision. She has accepted and I feel it.

The time has come to make my parents accept my decision.