Excruciating doesn't even begin to capture the week. It moves as slow as a sloth in quicksand, each horrifying and strange detail unfolding in bright, South Florida technicolor.

After the proposal, Sebastian and I had a weird, goofy lunch at his house. He'd gone to the trouble of replicating that spinach salad I liked at that expensive cafe, but my taste buds and appetite had evaporated. I spent the entire time thinking about whether I should have hedged, should have put him off, when he asked me to marry him. But I didn't feel like I could. Because of Ash. Because of Zoe. Because of Griffin.

Fortunately, Sebastian had some poker game or something with his doctor friends, and I was able to slip away with only a quick peck on the lips.

It's squarely spring now, and the full weight of the humid weather is upon us. People around the city are beginning to wear fewer clothes, filmier fabrics, lighter colors.

I'm an eighteen-year-old engaged to a man old enough to be my father, all because my drug dealer boyfriend — who I love desperately — needs my help.

Which is super fucked up. If I think about it too hard, I become a little too angry at Griffin. So of course I'm still wearing black, like my mood.

And I'm still a student. As much as I want to huddle in bed and wait for Griffin to call or for the world to magically right itself, I have to go to class. I'm diligent like that. Or maybe I'm just stubborn, hoping that if I cling to some semblance of a schedule, life will return to normal.

I'm worried that since Sebastian and I are engaged — the thought still makes me want to vomit — I'll have to sleep over at his house. I thank the universe and all the gods that he has a work trip to Washington, D.C. that occupies most of his week. So I spend my days and nights holed up in the condo waiting for Griffin's sporadic calls, studying, and drinking more wine than I should.

Sebastian also calls to check in with alarming regularity, and I cringe every time I see his number pop up on my cell.

"I'll be back tomorrow," he says during a phone conversation early Thursday morning, as I'm driving to class. "I've asked my staff to organize a small party Friday night. So we can tell everyone our good news."

Oh, God. People are going to know about us? What's next? An engagement photo in the paper? I grimace and roll my eyes.

"Are you sure? I mean, ah, shouldn't we wait until my mom and maybe Ash can come down? And I'd like for Victoria to be there, too. Aren't we taking this kind of fast?"

"We'll visit your family and take them out. And my lawyer's working on Victoria's situation, but there are no guarantees," he says briskly. "I must go. Make sure you study, and oh, liebling?"

"Uh, yeah?" I'm focused on trying to find a parking space at school and hoping to forget the creepy-crawly feeling whenever he calls me that pet name.

"Call Lena, she mentioned a private showing of some new resortwear at a boutique in Bal Harbor for you. I'm hoping to take you to the Caribbean soon and want you to have everything you need. Also, she'll have details on your spa appointment on Friday afternoon before the party. You don't have class in the afternoon, so I thought you'd like to get ready beforehand at the spa you like. Oh, and for the party? No black that night. No more black, Juliette."

I fucking hate him. Dictating what I wear. And obviously, I'm expected to not have plans. Ever. Or if I do, I'm supposed to drop everything. This sets my teeth on edge.

"Thank you," I pretend to coo. "And of course no black. I'm a bride-to-be, right? Hey, I'm so late for class, gotta go! Have fun in D.C.."

I'm practically running to class, my sneakers slapping on the pavement, when my phone rings again. It's a number I don't recognize.

"Hello?"

"Why do you sound so out of breath?"

I exhale and stop moving while I grin into the phone. "Griffin."

"Where are you?"

"Headed to class, but I might skip now that you've called. Where are you?"

"Well, I had an interesting and ultimately unsatisfying visit with the old man. He was happy that I'm alive, and I'm still unhappy that he seems to not take any responsibility that he fucked up our lives when we were kids."

"I'm sorry that you have to deal with this on top of everything else." Griffin has serious issues with his father, and now is not the time to unpack them. "Did you get a chance to tell him about Zoe?"

"No. I said she's in Europe. I wasn't sure who was listening in the prison visitation."

"Did you register for the visit as Griffin or Finn?"

"As me. Griffin. My lawyer says there's no crime in being considered dead in another country. If they want to come after me from The Netherlands, they'll have to extradite me. And hopefully by then, you and I will be long gone."

I swallow. Another possible issue. So much for normalcy. "Are you coming back soon? Sebastian is gone until tomorrow. Can't we spend tonight together?"

"We'll see. I'm outside of your mom and Ash's apartment building. We'll see how long this takes. He might slam the door in my face. I'm hoping to explain everything to him."

"Everything? Even about me?"

"Yeah."

I sigh. "I wish I could be there with you. I feel like I should be the one to tell my brother about all this."

"Maybe it's for the best that you don't."

"Yeah, it might spare me from shame. There'll be plenty of time for that later, I guess."

"Juliette, he'll understand. You're doing this for him. And Zoe. We're both sacrificing. It's all going to work out. You'll see. Now you get to class. I'll try to come over tonight, okay? I'll text you when I'm outside your building, just to make sure it's okay to come in. I love you."

I make it to class ten minutes late. The day passes quickly, my anticipation building about seeing Griffin later.

Around ten that night, my phone buzzes with a text.

I'm so excited that I go down to the lobby myself and throw my arms around him when he walks in. I'm laughing so hard when he picks me up, and he gives me a piggyback ride to the elevator, our laughter echoing around the minimalist lobby.

It's still a jolt to see him and realize that he's alive. He sets me down in the elevator and presses me against the mirrored wall.

"I told Ash everything. He's not happy, as expected. As he shouldn't be. But he knows we're doing all we can."

"Did you tell him what I'm doing, ah, for him?"

Griffin studies my face. "No. I didn't. We mostly talked about Zoe. But I think he suspects what's going on with you. And he's grateful to you. As am I."

I want to ask more questions, and probably should call Ash. But I also want to forget about everything, and when Griffin kisses me, that's the perfect chance to slip into another world. His kiss is hot and sweet, intense and familiar. We kiss and kiss, until the elevator reaches my floor, and then in the hall, and then, finally, in my bed.

And for the rest of the night, everything is back to normal and absolutely perfect.

What Griffin doesn't tell me until Friday is that Sebastian's invited him to the party tonight, and has encouraged him to bring a date.

"Well, obviously you're not going to go." It's nine in the morning and I'm skipping class, preferring to stay in bed a few more hours with Griffin.

"No, I kind of have to," he says slowly.

I prop myself up on my elbow. "Please don't."

"I don't really have a choice. He made a point of calling me and telling me that he wanted to share his good news with a group of close associates and friends. I want him to think I'm a close associate."

I groan and flop back onto the bed. "Who are you going to bring? As a date? Of course you're not bringing someone."

"I've asked this girl I've known for a while. I don't think you've met her. She's an intern at my attorney's office. Name's Christina, she's a nice girl."

I bolt upright. "You have got to be fucking kidding me. First you pimp me out, and then this? Who is Christina?"

"I'm not pimping you out."

I glare at him.

"We're just friends. Her dad's some bigwig in an embassy. Please, Juliette. It's going to look strange if I go alone. Especially if I go alone and stare at you all night. This will be over soon. Ten days, max. Everything is in motion."

I fling the sheet off and head for the bathroom, pissed. Griffin's right behind me. He reaches for my hand and pulls me toward him. Our naked bodies are pressed together, and the morning sunlight's seeping in, warming my skin.

His lips brush my ear. "You think this will be easy for me? Watching him announce your engagement? When I know it's supposed to be us? When I know you're mine? Don't you think I'll want to fucking kill him?"

"I wish you would," I mutter.

"Here's your champagne, liebling. I'll make the toast."

Sebastian taps a knife against a heavy crystal goblet filled with water; his etiquette is so perfect that he knows he can't just clink the utensil against the champagne flute otherwise it will break.

Just like my heart is, while I watch Griffin and that woman. Christina, her name is. I'd braced myself that she'd be a stripper, but no, this is worse.

It's his lawyer's intern. Not a law school intern, apparently, but some kind of executive secretary intern. I didn't even know those existed. Christina looks smart, nice, and normal. Pretty, with dark hair, a turned up nose and a cute figure. I think she's from Spain. I've tried to stay on opposite ends of the room from them, only greeting the two briefly two hours ago when they walked in. Christina had been extremely sweet, handing me flowers when she walked in.

This is all for Zoe. For Ash...

"Everyone, I'd like to make an announcement."

The twenty or so people in the room crowd around a beaming Sebastian in his cavernous living room. It's thundering outside, and it matches my mood.

Sebastian slips his arm around my waist and pulls me close. I remind myself not to look at the floor, not to look morose. Definitely don't look at Griffin, who's been alternating between glowering and drinking heavily for the past three hours.

A girl who's getting engaged to a man this rich would be ecstatic.

I fake a laugh and toss my hair around. I deserve an Oscar.

"I've been looking my whole life for a woman like Juliette, and now I've found her. She's beautiful, she's brilliant, and she's patient. I guess she has to be to put up with me." There's a smattering of guffaws from the pharmaceutical executives and the city officials and the other people who look a little shady. I pretend to sparkle at his words. "I know it's sudden, but I've asked her to marry me and she's said yes."

Of course, I have to kiss him now. I can't just pound my champagne. I squeal — Jesus, I'm doing a lot of squealing lately — and throw an arm around Sebastian. He pulls me in for a kiss as everyone applauds.

Barf.

His kiss is soft, slippery and thoroughly mortifying, knowing that Griffin is watching every second.

When can I go home?

Sebastian breaks away, holds his flute in the air and so does everyone else. I finish the champagne in two gulps.

"Babe,. Babe?" I over-enunciate, trying not to slur. I wobble and lean into Sebastian and he grins and cups my ass.

"I love when you call me that," he murmurs.

"Babe, I have to use the ladies room. Be right back."

He kisses me on the cheek and pats my ass.

I want to poke his eyes out. Instead, I focus on walking in my tall heels to the bathroom at the far end of the house. I need a moment. Already I feel a little drunk, which is strange because I've only had a glass of wine and two glasses of champagne. But, I haven't had time or desire to eat, so that's probably why I'm so affected.

Lurching into the bathroom, I shut the heavy wooden door and sink into a French Renaissance-looking chair covered in white velvet fabric. My head's spinning a little and I study the contrast between the white velvet and my silver cocktail dress, which has lace and fringe at the hem.

I'm trying not to cry when I hear the rattle of the doorknob. Shit, I didn't lock the door.

"Someone's in here," I call out. I stand up and take a step forward, and the door opens.

It's Griffin.

I exhale as he locks the door, then turns and scoops me into his arms.

I melt into him, on the verge of tears.

"It's going to be okay, angel. You're doing so good. So good. I'm so proud of you. Just keep doing what you're doing. Keep being brave. I love you, no matter what. Just remember that. I don't want you to feel guilty about anything. I know you're doing this for Ash and Zoe." His breath smells heavy, like red wine.

"And for you."

He pushes out a sigh. "And for me."

I sniffle and pull back, placing my hands on his cheeks. "This is super dangerous, us being here like this."

"I know. I had to get you in private for a couple of minutes. To tell you not to worry about Christina. To tell you that I love you."

He kisses me and that's when I start to weep. Because it's obvious that Griffin's kiss is so, so right, and every single thing about Sebastian is wrong.

"I gotta go. He'll be sending out a search party soon," I whimper.

"You go first." He takes a tissue from the counter and dabs at my cheeks, then kisses me. "If he asks, just say you were sad your mom isn't here."

I nod and press my nose onto his neck, inhaling his leathery, spicy scent. "I love you."

Griffin keeps his hand on my lower back as we make our way to the door. He unlocks it and I poke my head out. The party's at the other end of the house, which is why I don't see anyone. I squeeze Griffin's hand and step into the marble hallway.

I'm about halfway back to the party when I wobble even more and almost fall. Blergh. Walking's a bitch in these heels, and I can't wait until I'm home and I take them off. I lean on the rail of the staircase that leads upstairs, hoping the dizzy feeling in my head will go away.

"Juliette?" Sebastian comes through one of the arches. He takes my elbow, a concerned line creasing his forehead. "Are you all right, my dear? You look a little unsteady."

"I don't feel great." While almost everything I've said to him tonight has been a lie, this isn't. "I maybe ate something that was off, or the champagne's really affecting me. I'm so sorry. I want to go home."

I look at him with watery eyes, expecting him to be annoyed. Strangely, he's not, and he rubs my arm.

"Why don't you lie down for a bit? Upstairs? I'll bring up some toast, or crackers. And water. Then I'll bring you home after the guests leave."

As much as I don't want to lie anywhere in this house, I nod. Getting in a car right now is probably an awful idea because I'll probably hurl, the way the room is starting to feel like the earth's axis is tilting. And Sebastian's always brought me home every other night...

I retch.

Christ, I might not even make it up the stairs without vomiting.

"Here, take off those shoes."

While I hold onto Sebastian's arm for support, I slip out of my heels. Out the corner of my eye, I see Griffin walk past.

Ignore ignore ignore.

"Come." Sebastian keeps his arm around me and guides me upstairs. I'm getting dizzier by the second.

He brings me to a large bedroom — of course it's large, every room in this place is — and leads me to a dark wood, four poster bed. I don't register much else about the room other than it's formal and everything smells expensive. Is this his room? I try to ask but my voice is too slurred, I think.

"Just lie down here," he murmurs, patting the bed. Weirdly, a comforting warmth spreads through my body and I'm no longer queasy. It's not the warmth of desire. It's something different altogether. Like slipping into a bath, with water that's the perfect temperature.

I gingerly sit on the edge of the bed. It's a super comfy mattress, and my eyes go to a painting on the wall opposite the bed. It's similar to the one in Sebastian's library, only in this version, the sleeping girl on the messy bed is naked. Her expressionless, pretty face is in full view, her breasts exposed, her dark hair spread over the pillow.

If the picture downstairs was unsettling, this one is downright frightening for some reason. Good thing I can't keep my eyes open, because I don't want to look at it.

"Do you like the painting, Juliette?" Sebastian murmurs. Or at least I think he does. He sounds like he's at the other end of the room. "The girl in the painting is someone I loved. She was a sleeping beauty, just like you'll be."

____