《Love is the Drug》A Transaction, Not Love
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"Allison!"
I'm barely inside the patio of the café in Miami's trendy Design District neighborhood when I spot her and squeal. The other diners are probably looking at me, but I don't care. I haven't seen my best friend in months.
"God, I've missed you." I throw my arms around her. "I want to squeeze you."
"You're squeezing me all right." Allison's laugh has always been infectious, and it's no different today.
I untangle myself from her and grin. We sit at a table under a large, white umbrella that casts the perfect diffuse light on everything. It's probably a perfect selfie-taking spot, and sure enough, there are lots of women preening and pouting into their cellphone screens around us.
"You look amazing. Your hair's lighter. Orlando's been good for you, hunh?"
A waiter sets water on our table, and gives us a few minutes to look at the menu.
"Not as good as Miami's been to you. Look at you. That's a beautiful dress." She reaches for my sleeve and feels the black filmy fabric embroidered with delicate roses between her thumb and forefinger. "Where'd you get it?"
I didn't want to tell her that it came from an upscale designer boutique, or that Sebastian had bought it for me when we'd walked by one evening and I admired it. "On sale at the mall."
She eyes my Prada bag, which Sebastian bought for me last week. "What's with this place? I didn't think we'd be having lunch anywhere this nice. I thought you were joking when you said you were making reservations here."
KTCHN — it's spelled without any vowels — has the best salad in Miami, in my opinion. I tell Allison this and shrug. "I come here a lot."
I don't tell her that I asked Sebastian to get us a table during the busy Friday lunch rush. It's the first thing I've ever asked for, and I got the impression that he was thrilled to help.
She takes a sip from her glass. "Why? It's not near your school or your condo on the beach."
I take a deep breath. Telling her about Sebastian was something I'd planned to avoid, but on the way here, I figured that was stupid. Why not tell her I'm seeing someone? He introduces me to his friends. I should at least tell my oldest and best friend about him.
"I've been seeing a man who works near here. His office is a couple of blocks away, and we come here for lunch."
"Wait a minute, missy. You didn't tell me you were seeing someone. Good for you. Who is he? How'd you meet?" I can tell by the tone in her voice that she's relieved I'm not grieving Griffin. That I've showed up on time, showered and am not dressed in pajamas.
I won't tell her that I am still grieving, that I'm getting used to shoving my feelings deep inside.
"We met at school. He's a little older." I pause. "A doctor."
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Her eyes grow huge and the waiter shows up. I order my usual, and Allison decides on a flatbread.
"When did you start to like romaine lettuce, dill, feta cheese and Aleppo pepper?" she laughs.
I shrug and take the interruption as a chance to change the subject away from Sebastian. "How's Lucas?"
"No, no, no. We weren't finished with you, and I can guarantee your story's much more interesting than mine."
"We haven't seen each other in months and you want to talk about a guy?"
She snorts. "Uh, yeah, you freak. Tell me everything. No wonder you look so hot. Jesus."
"I've been working out." And not eating much because most food makes me nauseous. Ok, almost everything makes me nauseous — from the state of the world to my questionable life decisions.
Allison looks reproachfully over her glasses and I smile. "Okay. Okay. His name is Sebastian."
"And? Is he a resident? Did he just graduate from med school?"
And...here's the tough part. "No, he's a little older. We go out a lot. He has to attend a lot of ... events ... for his job."
"Well, whoever he is, I'm glad he's got a legitimate job."
I swallow back a mix of tears and rage.
"Juliette, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way."
"No. You did, and you're right. You were right all along about Griffin. I didn't want to admit it back when I talked to you in December, right after he..." I unroll my napkin and pat at my mouth.
"We're not going to talk about him. I'm an idiot for bringing it up. I'm just glad you've found someone who makes you happy." She watches me shudder in a breath. "He does make you happy, right? This Sebastian guy?"
I nod, probably a bit too enthusiastically. "He's really supportive. Of my classes. And he knows like everyone in health care, from pharmaceutical executives to hospital administrators. I'm actually learning a lot from him."
Which is partially the truth, but also a bit of a lie. The only thing I've learned is that health care executives like to drink and party just as much as anyone else. But, I've only been with Sebastian a couple of months, so there's hope I'll learn gain actual medical knowledge.
"I'm so glad. I was really worried about you when I last talked to you."
"How's Lucas?"
"We're not doing great." She shrugs. "We broke up."
"What?" This is alarming. If they couldn't make it, love is dead. "Oh, God, I'm so sorry." I reach across the table and squeeze her arm.
"I'm not. I realized we're too young to commit. I want new adventures. Learn new things."
"I always thought he was sweet. But good for you. Maybe you two will end up together after all, after you do all of your adventuring."
"Maybe. I heard he's dating someone new. Me, I got a job at a bookstore in downtown Orlando."
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"Really? That's awesome."
"Yeah, it's part time, only a couple of days a week. But the owners are really cool and I love it."
Allison tells me about her new job and my mood improves by the minute. I've missed this, being around a friend that I trust. A friend who will always accept me for who I am, no matter how awkward or depressed or weird. A friend who won't inadvertently get me arrested for prostitution.
Our food comes and we eat slowly, talking about everything from our classes to high school gossip to what are moms are doing. She asks about Ash.
"I'm optimistic. The hospital in Jacksonville found a matching donor for a stem cell transplant, and now he's doing a short treatment of super intense chemo and radiation that basically destroys as many leukemia cells as possible. He needs to go through that for the transplant."
Which will be at a highly reduced cost, thanks to Sebastian.
"I'm so glad. See, it's all working out? I'm so proud of you."
My lower lip trembles imperceptibly. If she only knew...
"Hey, let's order dessert. They have the most amazing ricotta cheesecake. It has peaches and basil."
Allison makes a face. "I don't know what's happened to you, but the girl I knew who thought sweet potato fries were exotic has sure left the building."
"A lot's changed." My voice is wistful.
Just then, the waiter approaches. He's holding two glasses of champagne. "From the gentleman in the corner."
A jolt of awareness goes through me, and my eyes sweep across the room, only to see a familiar bald head at a table of four men. Sebastian's grinning at me, and stands up.
Oh, shit.
"Thank you."
"What is this? Who's sending us champagne?" Allison swivels in her chair.
I paste on a smile, knowing that I'm going to have to be effusive and adoring to Sebastian when he comes to the table, and I'll have to explain why my new boyfriend is old enough to be my dad to my high school best friend.
Oh joy.
"Sebastian," I say breezily. "He sent them."
"Wait. Your boyfriend?"
Without answering Allison's question, I fix my eyes on him. From her sharp inhale, I can tell she's seen him, and it's sinking in that he's quite a bit older. And very wealthy. Sebastian looks especially commanding today, with a grey suit, a black-and-white tie, and a hint of dark stubble that only serves to make his jaw look all the more chiseled.
He's brutally handsome, I will concede. Emphasis on brutal.
Probably I should tell Allison to close her mouth, but I'm too busy trying to be upbeat when he arrives at our table.
"Hey," I purr, and stand up, hoping my smile looks sexy and not like a grimace.
"Juliette. I knew that Versace dress would make you look radiant." He cups my face in his hands and stares at me with those bright blue eyes of his. Then he leans down and brushes his lips over mine. Brief, chaste, polite.
Still, there's no question that it's a gesture that tells everyone in this restaurant one thing.
She's my property.
He lets go of my face and I rush to make the introduction.
"Sebastian, I'd like you to meet my oldest and best friend. Allison, this is the man I was telling you all about. The one who's making me happy."
I'm pouring it on, for everyone's benefit but my own. He beams, obviously thrilled, and Allison gapes when he extends his hand. Sebastian is nothing if not exceedingly polite.
"It's so lovely to meet you. No, no need to get up." It's then that I realize he always sounds a touch too formal. That will get on my nerves soon, I think.
"It's...yeah. Nice to meet you." Her eyes sweep down his trim body, and I notice she's focused on his shoes. They probably cost more than one of her classes for a semester.
I put my hand on Sebastian's arm. "Thank you for the champagne. And for getting us this reservation."
He slips an arm around my waist. "Only the best for my girl. I know how much you love the food here. Liebling, will you be ready by eight tonight? Or do you need more time with your friend? I can probably go to the fundraiser alone, but of course, I'd rather have you at my side."
"I'm going to see my mom, having dinner with her tonight," Allison pipes up. "I won't keep Juliette too long today."
He chuckles, a low rumble. "Good. I've been traveling for most of this week and I'm having Juliette withdrawal."
I force a laugh. This the most awkward moment of my life.
He inhales. "Well, I need to get back to the office. I'll pick you up around eight, with the car."
I say a fake-ass, cheery goodbye as he kisses my cheek and squeezes my shoulder. I plop onto the chair, no longer wanting cheesecake. I watch him swagger out of the restaurant. His spicy clove-and bay rum cologne lingers on my skin.
The only thing I can think to do is grab the champagne glass and tip it toward Allison, gulping half in one shot.
Something about the entire scene — me with my designer purse, Sebastian's smugness at having an eighteen-year-old girlfriend, Allison's condescending, yet admiring, stare — makes me flush with rage. I down the rest of the champagne and wonder if she'll be drinking hers. Two glasses of France's finest bubbly will mix well with the shame filling my gut.
"I know what you're thinking. What you're about to ask. Remember how you once said that because Griffin spent lots of money on me, he was like a sugar daddy?"
Smirking, I make little quote marks with the hand that's not holding the champagne. Allison's expression has turned to horror.
"Griffin and I didn't have that kind of relationship. Not even close. We were in love. How do I know the difference? That man you just met, Sebastian? He's my sugar daddy. What we have is a transaction, not love."
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