The minute Juliette and Zoe leave, silence descends on the hospital room. It's not just uncomfortable — it makes me want to claw my skin off. Ash and I aren't talking, just staring at each other like wary predators.

He's more tired than angry, and that sends my heart into my stomach. His face the color of skim milk. I'd never noticed when we were younger, but he and Juliette have the same coloring. On her, it's beautiful and ethereal. On him, now that he's sick, it's haunting.

And yet, he looks happy. Because of Zoe.

I walk over to the window and shove aside the blinds. It's been raining off and on all day, and the sky is black, laced with wispy gray fog. As colorless as everyone in this hospital. We're on the third floor, and while the hospital isn't far from a beach, all I can see is the edge of ugly stone parking garage.

"Great fucking view, hunh? Imagine if that's the last thing you see on the day you die."

Despite the morbid words, his voice makes me grin. He's always been a cynic. Except when it came to my sister.

I turn and walk over to the maroon leather chair near the bed and sink into it. "Dude, remember that time we put the school up for sale on Craigslist? I was thinking about that while driving up here."

He laughs, a genuine laugh. "That was the best. Those photos. Like it was from a real estate site."

"And when you wrote, newly built football field. Fucking brilliant."

We're both laughing now, then we look at each other.

"Shit," I say softly.

He swallows and looks away.

"Well, I guess this is an improvement on last time. At least you're not trying to kick my ass."

Ash side-eyes me. "If I wasn't in this fucking hospital bed, I'd try."

"So you're still pissed about me and Juliette, I take it."

He scratches at the crook of his arm, around the white medical tape holding his IV steady. "I don't know if pissed is the word anymore. Resigned, maybe. Worried, definitely. I guess I should apologize for trying to take you out when I last saw you."

We exchange smirks. "So does that mean you're cool with me and Juliette?"

Ash sighs, and he seems far older than me. He must be bad off, because he doesn't have the fire in his eyes like he used to.

"I'm still concerned, y'know? Juliette's my little sister. She's always going to be the six-year-old who crawled into my bed during summer thunderstorms. I don't know what you see in her, a guy like you."

"What do you mean, a guy like me?" I'm trying to modulate my voice, keep the anger at bay. His cancer's back. I can't get pissed.

"Look, man. I'm not trying to fuck with you. But you always liked flashy girls. Like Victoria. My sister's like," his voice is creaky as he lifts his hands, "like Little Red Riding Hood or Sleeping Beauty or some innocent Disney shit. I don't want to see her get hurt. That's a big brother talking."

I notice he's not bringing up my business, and I wonder why. "I'm not going to hurt her. In any way. Or allow her to be hurt. By anything. I give you my word."

Ash studies me warily. "I don't see how you can make that promise, bro. What you do is dangerous."

I think about the other week, when I beat the shit out of a dealer who hadn't paid me. We'd met at an empty suburban warehouse and when he said he didn't have the hundred grand he owed me, I flew into a rage. I'd been uncharacteristically violent that night with my fists and feet, and Matthew had to pull me off the guy. I was merely tying up loose ends and wanted what was mine.

Lately, interactions like that have left me cold. It scares me a little, how much I don't care. Yeah, I need to get out of this life, before something truly disastrous happens.

Before Juliette finds out who I really am.

I clear my throat and glance at Ash's pallid face. "I'm giving it all up. For her. I love her. I've never..." my voice cracks. "I've never loved someone like I do Juliette."

He glances at me, wary. "Your business? All of it? You'll do that for her?"

"I've got one more deal, in Amsterdam. Then I'm through." Fuck, I have got to talk to Juliette about this trip. I'd planned on telling her yesterday, but then she got the call from her mom and everything went to hell.

Ash nods slowly, as if he's begrudgingly accepting the situation. He wouldn't be so calm if he knew about my upcoming meeting with some of the biggest Molly dealers in the world in The Netherlands.

"And you? What was that with Zoe? The two of you see each other after seven years and she's glued to you. I"m a big brother, too."

"We've been chatting online in the last couple of months." Before I get a chance to recover from my shock, his eyes flutter shut.

They've been what?

"Bro, you okay?" I ask, my hand extending so I can touch my fingers lightly to his pale arm.

He opens his eyes, but I can tell he's struggling to stay awake. "Yeah. No. Not okay. I'm fucking exhausted."

"Well, I'll let you rest." I start to get up, realizing that we haven't even talked about why he's in the hospital. Maybe tomorrow. And I need to know more about his newly rekindled relationship with Zoe. Who contacted who? Knowing my sister, it was probably her.

I can pin down those details later.

Right now I want to find Juliette and get the hell out of here so we can have five minutes of normalcy together. And maybe dinner. I didn't think seeing Ash would feel like a kick to the gut, but it's scaring the hell out of me.

"No, stay. Stay until Zoe and Juliette get back."

His eyes shut again and I slump back into the chair. I watch as his head droops to one side, and his lips part.

My best friend from high school has cancer. For the second time. We need to sort this out. Get a doctor, fly him to the best hospital, something.

The enormity of what's ahead hits me, and I'm struggling to hold in my emotions. I'm not going to cry—I've only done that once, when I found out that Mom died—but my insides are swirling with sadness and regret.

I used to think of him as a brother. And when he stopped talking to me, I felt betrayed. Now that I'm older, I understand it a little more. I guess. I always thought he'd stick by me, no matter what.

I'm sitting there thinking about how he seemed unstoppable when we played soccer in high school, when Zoe saunters in, followed by Juliette.

"He's asleep," I whisper.

My sister goes to the bed and smoothes Ash's black hair, which is sticking everywhere. They've got similar haircuts, I notice for the first time. She and kisses him on the crown. "I'm going to stay here, for now. I'll be back to the hotel later. Ash's mom will be coming later and I'd like to talk with her about a few things."

Zoe's eyes are boring into mine, giving me a sharp look, as if I should know what she's trying to tell me. Fuck. I give up with all this intrigue.

While Zoe arranges Ash's sheets, tucking them in and arranging the snacks on his tray—when the hell did she turn into Mother Theresa—I haul myself up and go over to Juliette. I kiss her temple and murmur in her ear. "Let's get dinner somewhere, 'kay?"

I put my arms around her and she instantly stiffens. "I guess. I'm not hungry."

"What's wrong, angel?"

She shrugs. Seeing her brother like this must be devastating. I wish I could take away her pain.

"Nothing. I'm fine."

She slips away from me and steps to her brother's bedside. Squeezing his arm with both hands, she leans down and gives him a kiss on the forehead, then exchanges a knowing look with Zoe.

We say a whispered goodbye to my sister and walk out. Juliette's silent in the elevator, and we walk across the street to the hotel, where the SUV's parked. I mention something about a steakhouse I saw on the way here.

"Whatever," she says. She looks like she's about to cry.

When we're in the car, she folds her arms across her chest and stares out the window. I'm starting to think that this is about something other than Ash's illness. I know when a woman's pissed at me, and Juliette is exhibiting all of the classic behaviors. Silence. Pouting. And the worst of all, those two words, said in a brittle voice: I'm fine.

At the restaurant, I park, kill the ignition and turn to Juliette. She's already going to unlock the door. "Don't get out yet," I command.

"Why?"

"I need to know what's wrong. Now."

Her beautiful mouth plumps into a pout. "I'm fine."

"What is it? Ash? I'm sorry, I know you're worried. We'll get him the best doctors. Promise. I'll fix this." I don't know if I can, but I'll do everything in my power. The happiness of the only two women I care about hinges on Ash's recovery.

"Zoe and I already talked about that. But..." Her eyes brim with tears. Oh Christ, what now?

"But what?" My stomach rumbles. I'd probably be more tender if I wasn't ravenously hungry.

"When were you going to tell me that you're leaving next week for Amsterdam? With Victoria?"

I sigh. "Did Zoe tell you this?"

"Yeah." She's looking straight ahead, out the window, her mouth pressed in a hard line.

"She must have been distracted by Ash. I told her Victoria wasn't going."

Juliette isn't looking at me.

"I was going to say something yesterday, but your mom called. Victoria's not going on the trip. Zoe's wrong. I asked Victoria not to go because it isn't fair to you. It's just me, Zoe and Matthew."

She snorts. "I guess that makes me feel better."

I reach out and take her hand, squeezing it. "I'm sorry. We're only going for six days."

"Only. I'd hoped you weren't going at all." Her voice is flat.

"This is it, Juliette. I'm done after this. You'll see. It's really low risk—it's a business meeting, essentially. That's all. No product." I feel shitty about lying to her, but can't help it. That look of worry in her eyes is too much to bear. I don't want her to be concerned, because of course, she should be concerned that her boyfriend is flying to another continent to meet with drug dealers. "It's me and Zoe flying over there and back. Matthew's on a different flight."

She turns to me, big eyes filled with hope. "Really?"

"Yes, babe. It's just a meeting to introduce people. I'm not bringing product. That's been decided."

Matthew's bringing it, but that's none of her business.

"Then why can't I come?"

"No. I don't want you involved."

"Then you must think it's dangerous in some way."

I inhale. Sometimes the way she looks at me, with total trust and guileless admiration, makes me feel unworthy. Does she really know who I am? "Juliette, everything I do is a little dangerous. I take precautions, try to be down-low, but I'm at risk every minute of every day. I don't want you to be with me when I'm out of the country. We'll go to Europe some other time."

She nods and shuts her eyes. "It's lot to deal with, along with Ash. And you know, back at the hospital, when you and I were talking in that room, I felt like we were a team. Like we face our problems together. Like we're stronger together." A tear rolls down her cheek and she shudders in a breath.

"Juliette. We are a team. We are stronger together.." I reach for her hand, pick it up and kiss her fingers. I love the pink nail polish she always wears because it's so feminine. "I love you. And I know, it's a lot to deal with, and I'm sorry. Really. But just think. It'll all be over soon. And hey." I press my lips to her palm, which is sweaty. "When I get back, let's go somewhere together. Anywhere you want. Maybe during your Thanksgiving break? Don't you get two weeks? We could come up here with Zoe to see Ash and your mom for turkey, then we'll go away."

She opens her eyes and wipes her cheeks. "I'd like that."

I cup her jaw in my palm and she stares at me, mournfully. I don't think anyone has ever loved me as much as Juliette does. The realization stings my chest. I can't fuck this up.

"You pick the location, okay?"

"Anywhere? Like a resort in the Caribbean? One of those places where we can sit in a cabana with fruity drinks or ride jet skis and pretend we're in Baywatch?"

She is so adorable. I chuckle. "Yes, yes and yes."

"Okay. That gives me something to look forward to. I'll start looking soon, it's only a few weeks away. We can celebrate our six-month anniversary there."

I exhale as we walk into the restaurant. Crisis averted. I'm feeling better—well, as good as I can under the massively shitty circumstances—and we spend the next couple of hours talking about Ash and Zoe over dinner. I tell her how they met, how he and Zoe were inseparable, how they used to annoy the fuck out of me with their PDA. I even get her to laugh a few times.

She tells me how Zoe emailed Ash months ago. Figures.

By the time we get back to the hotel, Juliette seems a little happier, thank God. I know I can't take away the pain of what's happening with her brother. But I can make things easier for her.

When she comes out of the bathroom, she's wearing a little white nightie that's practically see-through, and her hair is down. I can't help but stare at her. She's like a goddess.

"Come here." I'm in bed and pull her onto my lap, so she's straddling me. "Everything's going to be okay, you know that, right? We're going to find the best treatment center for Ash. Trust me, Zoe will leave no stone unturned. We've got enough cash to pay for everything."

She studies my face and kisses me slow and soft.

"And when I get back, I'll focus only on real estate and legit things. No more molly. You'll see. Your boyfriend will be a boring businessman."

That makes her giggle. My eyes travel to her nipples, which are hard and poking through the flimsy fabric. I feel a tingling in the base of my spine, and my dick hardens.

"Maybe I'll sell the condo on the beach and move downtown with you. Or maybe you can come live with me. We'll kick Zoe out." I grin as I caress her bare arms.

"You wouldn't kick her out."

"I wouldn't. But I don't think it will take much for her to relocate to be near Ash. Or to bring him to live with her in Miami. Let's talk about it when I get back, okay? Everything's going to work out. I'm here for you. I've got you. I'm going to take care of everything."

She lowers her head to kiss me again, sipping and nibbling on my lips as I hold her soft hair away from her face. When she starts to rock on my erection, I groan. I slip my hands under her nightie and she sucks in a breath.

"I didn't anticipate doing this tonight, under the circumstances," I murmur. "I didn't think you'd want to."

She pulls away to look at me, and I keep stroking her nipples softly under the nightie. Her lips are swollen from the kiss and I love the way she looks at me when we're about to have sex: wild, a little unfocused and sensual as hell.

"I didn't think we would, either. But I need you. I need this. To be close to you. To feel your skin next to mine. It'll help ground me and remind me that love's the only thing that makes life worth living."

She takes off her nightie, and now she's just in white silky panties. That's when I flip her onto her back and kiss my way down her body, pausing at her bellybutton. Sometimes I've overwhelmed at our relentless attraction to each other. How I've found the perfect woman, and how I don't deserve such goodness.

"I love you. So much. You don't know how much."

Her fingers stroke my hair. "I love you too."

With deliberate slowness, I stroke between her legs, teasing her. The fabric of her underwear is soaked, and I ease the little scrap of fabric down her body. With the sexiest fucking moan, she spreads her legs wide. One of my hands cups her breast, while the other is caressing her hip. Jesus, I love her curves. I wouldn't even mind if she gained a little more weight.

Her scent is driving me crazy tonight. I can smell her perfume, the jasmine and vanilla, and a little hint of her pussy. The combination makes my mind go blank with lust. I can forget about everything when I'm inside of her, concentrate on the pure, focused pleasure. I need to be inside her. But first I have to taste her—something about licking her makes the actual fucking even more erotic—and just as I'm about to kiss that sweet, wet spot of hers that drives the both of us crazy, she murmurs my name.

She's right. Love, our love, is the only thing that matters in this world. Nothing else. Not money or molly or that Maserati I was thinking of buying when I get back from Europe.

She whispers my name again and tugs on my hair.

"Yes, angel?"

"When are you leaving for Amsterdam?'

I press my lips to the skin just below her belly button and inhale. When I look into her green eyes, a heaviness overtakes my chest.

"A week from tomorrow."

____