"When I'm with you I have amnesia, got me without a mind, my stupid brain thinks that I need you, misleads me all the time"

~Hi, It's Me (Ashnikko)

°~°~°

Her long fingers traced the lines of her face, along her bruise skin to the frame of her angular jawline. Her reflection didn’t look all that different from the tiredness she felt the night before, she was just without makeup now. Brows still thick, lashes shorter and her lively glow hadn’t returned. She still looked a bit pale.

“And people call you pretty.” Kenya ridiculed herself and shook her head. A knock on the hotel room door peeled her from the mirror.

Yawning into the croak of her arm, she swung the door open and cocked her brow as she looked at the dark skinned man packed with shopping bags, “you are?”

“L-Landon Burlington. Mrs. Russi s-sent me with clothing for you.” The boy stuttered, “h-have you eat yet?”

Silent, Kenya eyed him. Around six feet, slender oblong face, skin almost as night with an oddly innocent pair of brown eyes. Landon was cute, almost wanting to resemble a young Eddie Murphy. Kenya rolled her eyes then motioned for the guy to enter.

Scurrying inside, Landon placed the bags unto the centre table and immediately dove into one pulling out two phone boxes, “wh-which do you w-want?”

“Excuse me?” Kenya asked after closing the door.

Landon stepped closer to her holding a phone in each hand; one an iPhone, the other a Samsung Galaxy, “I-I broke my phone the o-other day and Mrs. Russi realized. She gave me money t-to replace mine th-then called me this morning with permission to get y-you one as well. P-pick one. Any.”

“Weird.” Kenya murmured to herself then took the Samsung, “thanks.”

“Her number is in there i-if you wanna thank her.”

“Right.” Was all she murmured before grabbing the other bag of food in it. Cocking a brow, she peeked in the bag, “Dunkin’ Donuts?”

“I-I was already r-running late. W-we can p-pick something else if ya w-wanna.”

Having it go silent after that, Kenya shoved the paper bag back to the shy guy then began tapping away at her new phone screen, a call appearing from Niecy the moment she was making to dial her, “hey, Miss White I was just about to call and say thanks.”

“Not a problem… and I told you call me Niecy. Using my last name makes me feel old… anywho, that’s not what I called for. Aiden naa stop pester me bout you. So, we’re having interviews for a live-in nanny and him insist you come too? So, if you want the job just fawud and we give you a fair interview like everybody else, yea?”

“Around what time would I come?”

“Anytime, we kind of have a lot of people coming in. Just know we stop at around eight or night in the evening. Landon will show you the way till you’re ready. Until then you two can go shopping or something. On me of course.”

“Shopping?”

…

Bernice hung up the phone after giving Kenya the shopping news. She felt jetlagged and tired, but she needed to get ready for the first nanny of the day. It wasn’t an option in letting her husband do all the interviews while getting some rest. She didn’t trust him, sadly.

Her mother told her on multiple occasions when she was younger. Nuh nuff up yuh self and marry nuh bruk man, yaa eediat? Bernice wished she had listened. Maybe she would’ve been with someone else and happier. Someone who wouldn’t praise her in publish, ignore her in private and disrespect her in both. She knew how she was, she was bossy, loud and been labelled the term ghetto. But in actuality, she had a strong exterior whilst being one of the softest souls— kind, sweet and one of the most loving person one could meet.

Giovanni knew that, yet he would blatantly do things to hurt her, apologize, then after some time, he did the same thing again.

Bernice choked out a laugh at that— at herself. Didn’t stop the glistening of her eyes though, the tears. She quickly wiped them away though and got out the silk sheeted bed.

The tiles were cold beneath her small feet and her white, pedicured toes curled at the contrast in temperature. She was bare as the day she was born with obvious differences of course. Large full breasts, wide set hips, decent sized waist and a backside that would give her hell to fit in jeans. The baby bump on her didn’t help either.

Planting herself before her full body mirror, she turned to the side and took view of her five month bulging belly. Not the biggest, but she frowned knowing it meant a larger gut as well as more weight and stretch marks to gain. Her silk pressed hair cascaded easy to the small of her back with its blended tracks, having her smile at how freshly done it looked even after she didn’t remember to slip her bonnet on from the night before. The smile didn’t last long though, thanks to Gio.

“I can imagine when you’re ready to pop. I don’t believe you were this big when with Aiden.” He wondered as he stood in the door frame, “you should get some clothes on the first set is here and Aiden is rather excited.”

Moving over to the dresser, Bernice combed her fingers throw her hair then grabbed up a hair clip, gently French rolling the length of strands up to the top of her head, “did Aiden eat yet?”

“No.”

She blinked, looking at him, “and why not?”

“He did not ask for anything to eat.”

“He shouldn’t need to ask, Gio. I swear mi naa leave him with you ever again. Fucking careless. Mi ago bathe then get something fi him eat cause a ramp yuh a ramp.” She muttered, grabbing a pair of panties from her draws as well as a bra.

Ready to head for the bathroom, Giovanni had her halt in her movements when he suddenly got behind her and trapped her with his strong arm, “you love it when I play, la mia piccola cosa sexy. Especially with you.”

“Until you started playing with other women, Gio.” She told him flatly, ignoring the light flutter in her tummy at the gesture.

Again, she made to walk away, but her husband was persistent, something that always pulled her to him. Arms tightening beneath her belly bump, he licked her sweet spot and lightly flicked her soft, pierced nipple, “relax, amore. That was months ago. I thought you had forgiven me. She meant nothing. You are everything to me.”

“If I am everything… why go for the nothing, Gio?” she asked as the tingles ran through her, her eyes even watered remembering when he admitted to what he was doing behind her back— while she went for work.

For the first time in a long while, she got a glance at the man she fell in love with. A humble, sweet man who wasn’t afraid to express his emotions. He broke down in front of her, he cried long and hard as she apologized. She instantly grew sorry for him, hugged him, then told him she forgave him.

The knowledge of it still hurt though. She couldn’t help it. A man she went against her mother for, a man who she dusted off and polished had betrayed her after all they had been through. Yet, she remained weak for him. It was pathetic and even though it pained her knowing, she couldn’t stop the physical reactions he could coax from her. Even with his simple play on her nipple and thin, soft lips on the side of her outstretched neck.

“You left and I was lonely. I apologize for that, amore. I dealt with my loneliness wrongly. I will continue to apologize and in all the ways you like.” He whispered as he spun her body to face him.

Her eyes were teary and that had him relieve a sigh, cupping her jaw in his palm whilst the other slithered around her waist, “I’m sorry. It was the one time, it never happened before and it will never happen again. I promise. Do you love me, Niecy?”

“With everything in me.” She admitted resting her hand on his as the other wiped her tear away, “with everything.”

“Then trust me.” He assured her bowing his forehead to meet hers.

Bernice felt another tear slip as she nodded, “don’t hurt me again.”

“Would not dream of it.” He sighed then pressed his lips against hers, a delicate kiss that had her relax into him, even more so with his thumb grazing her sensitive bud. A light moan left her as his tongue surpassed her lips, “let’s have you shower and ready for the day, sì?”

“Okay.”

…

To Giovanni’s disappointment, he didn’t get his wife to have sex with him. After a mini heated make-out session, she stopped him and told him to go start the interviews until she finished. Having woken with a hard-on and trying his best to get rid of it, he ended up jacking off in a separate bathroom to masturbating videos on his phone.

Ever since she found out about what he did they hadn’t had sex. It irritated him and his hormones were scratching at him. He wondered how her hormones hadn’t have her jump him every second she could. Then he remembered her and what she was like. She was a soft one, but when she said no it was a firm annotation. And he knew what would happen to him if he forced beyond that.

Gio sat behind the dining table as the third nanny came in, his wife only a chair away with their son in between them, munching away at his cheese omelette and frankfurters.

“Your resume says you babysit for the Kardashians some years ago. Is that suppose to mean something to me?” he asked genuinely confused.

The blonde widened her hazel eyes at that, “… are you kidding me? You don’t know the Kardashians?”

“Amore, do you know a Kardashian?” he asked frowning at his wife.

Bernice furrowed her brows, “them famous pon Instagram and suppose to have a reality TV show.”

“You’ll have to do better than that.” Giovanni stated.

Eyes widening with realization, Bernice pointed with her thumb in a jotting motion at her mouth, her tongue following to poke her cheek in the same rhythm as she said, “Kim and Ray J. The yout’ weh sing bout one wish.”

“… is a no from me.” He shook his head slipping the woman’s résumé to the bottom of the pile.

“But-.”

Aiden finally looked up from his plate, a frankfurter between his fingers flopping around as he motioned for the door, “no, you heard the white man. Go.”

“Aide.” Bernice murmured in a low tone, but then glanced at the frowning blonde, “It’s three no’s, baby girl. I’m sorry. I wish you luck on your job hunt. If you have any other qualifications I’d be happy to look through. Just contact my office, okay?”

“Okay.” The girl sighed, then left the room.

Giving his wife an annoyed roll of the eyes, he eyed the papers before him, “you’re too nice and I am getting tired of telling you that. She’s only the third and you’re giving hopes of a different job possibility already.”

“Look here, if a never the same fucking nice behaviour you wouldn’t be where you deh right now and you would and never married to me or have a son. So, wah the fucking problem? Eh?” She asked irritated.

This was his third time addressing her being too nice and it was pissing her off. She had always been that way, so why was it being a bother to him now? Wouldn’t her being nice be a part of why he married her? Or maybe she was overreacting due to hormones… she wasn’t sure, but him bringing it up was becoming redundant.

“Don’t curse at me. I-…” he cut himself off, calculating his next words and remembering his sex deprived condition, “I apologize, okay? I didn’t mean to provoke you, sì. I meant no harm.”

Having finished his orange juice, Aiden took up his cup as well as himself from his chair, “mummy, you want water or juice?”

“Water, please. But if milk leave carry some.” She smiled softly.

Aiden nodded then kissed her on the cheek before going off. Gio being Gio murmured under his breath in his native tongue. Bickering something along the lines of his son only catering for his mother.

Bernice understood and rolled her eyes and instead of murmuring like her husband, she stated clearly, “if maama man was a mascot to rassclaat.” Grabbing a frank from her son’s plate she bit into it then called out for the next nanny.

…

Kenya almost didn’t want to bother with the interview, but she somewhat felt obligated since she just spent the woman’s money on new clothing. It was time for her to get her interview now and as she sat in the passenger seat of the blue Lexus, her head rested back with her eyes closed.

“A-are you, okay?”

“uh, yea. Why?” she asked peeking an eye at Landon, his fingers nervously strumming along the steering wheel, “y-you seem down. D-don’t most girl enjoy shopping. Y-you didn’t get m-much, but…”

Kenya rolled her eyes, “well, I ain’t most girls. Can we just stay quiet for the rest of the drive? Let me know when we get there.”

“We a-are here.” He informed her as he parked the car at the very front of the mansion. Kenya didn’t even know they passed the massive gate that automatically shut in the distance, as she could see from the rear-view mirror. Nodding, Ken ran her hand through her silk pressed hair and left the car with a small thank you thrown in Landon’s way.

He soon left the car too and led the way up the mansion’s entrance. After ringing the bell, he then entered not even waiting for a response. He most likely pressed it for them to know they were entering the house.

In what she bought, Kenya stepped in, but not before removing her shoes at the door. A plain, grey wife-beater and black, widely slack sweat pants. Her feet covered in a matching striped socks as she entered, Landon looked at her weirdly, “why did you take your shoes off?”

“Why carry outdoor dirt indoors? Plus this place looks freshly cleaned.” She stated taking in the spotless white tiles and her words pummelled back to her ears. The interior was painted the lightest shade of blue and the empty hall was wide with a white door in each wall, “this is nice, but the echoing really ain’t it. What if I accidentally plot out loud murder or something?”

“W-w-why would y-you-.” Landon began to ask, but one of the doors open revealing Aiden who instantly ram towards them.

Completely ignoring Landon, he grabbed Kenya by the arm and started tugging, “the best for last is here! Throw away all the résumés and empty your bank accounts right now!”

“I still don’t understand why she’s here and she has no résumé. I doubt she had experience. I’m already voting no.” Giovanni murmured.

Aiden only ignored as he pulled out the dining set for her to sit, “mummy said she could still have the interview and I already vote yes. So let’s see what mummy has to say. Ken, sit please and ignore mio papa.”

“So I take it you know Italian?” Ken asked as she took the seat. Watching as Aiden take his position in the mid chair opposite her, she cocked her head to the side. Looking at her, he did the same, “yea, mummy tried to keep me up with it as well as my English. Sometimes I’m not allowed to play games until I have a full conversation in Italian.”

“¿Y el español? ¿Estás aprendiendo eso también?”

“Sí lo soy. Pero no me gusta mucho.” He admitted, “I confuse it with Italian sometimes. What I really want to learn is Korean or Japanese.”

This had Kenya smile, “I know Japanese and my best friend is Korean.”

“Could you and him or her teach me!? Please? I’m willing. I swear. I already know how to count and some colours in Japanese from Duolingo.”

“We’ll see.” She told him. Brows furrowed, she glanced around the spacious dining room, “where is your mother?”

“Sorry, I’m right here. I can’t hold pee for the life of me.” Bernice smiled walking over to the table then gave their guest a handshake as greeting, “thank you again for walking Aiden the other night. How was the shopping?”

“You gave her money to shop? Seriously, Niecy?”

This earned Giovanni an agitated glare, “last time me check a my money. Mind yuh business nuh.”

“I already voted no.” he stated.

Feeling spiteful, Bernice released Ken’s hand and didn’t bother sitting down as she sucked her teeth, “I vote yes then. Since yuh want behave like a bitch.”

“Niecy, non iniziare con la stoltezza.”

“You don’t start with the foolishness, Giovanni. Nobody but you start it. Every fucking day you a annoy me! Just stop. I wanted to give the girl a fair shot of the job because Aiden like her, so him more than likely will give you less trouble when mi nuh deh home, but you just affi throw a pussy fit. What the fuck wrong with you?”

“It’s been five fucking months, Bernice! Five! Of course I am going to be on edge! All you do is work!”

“And you think being a murmuring bitch who goes to clubs, cheats on me and barely pays attention to our son is going to get me back to that?!”

Giovanni went all out with his native tongue after that, and Bernice responded in the most heavy Jamaican accent Kenya had ever encountered that she didn’t even understand a word. She didn’t even attempt stopping them. But what she did do was get Aiden on the dining area and into the living room.

“Do they always argue?” Kenya expressed her curiosity.

Aiden gave a knowing roll of the eyes, “it won’t stop until she throws something or if papa feels manages to bed her. I bet money on glass breaking though… you wanna play Call of Duty?”

“Yea, sure.”