I end the video call with Francis but find Millie still staring at the laptop home screen with her googly eyes. It's Saturday evening and we are at Martha's house. After we settled back here in LA, one weekend, I decided to take my mom to meet Martha and Millie. I didn't expect Martha to be as thrilled as she was after seeing my mother with me on her doorstep. Yes, I know they have known each other before when they had stayed at our house for interrogation, but with everything going around, the circumstances weren't that pleasant for them to start a new friendship.

Surprisingly, Martha and my mom got along so well after that one weekend that Martha even insisted on helping her get a job in the hotel where she was currently working. At first, my mom was reluctant about it. I understood her hesitation because she had never been to any job outside of her home in her entire life. But I wanted her to try this, so with a little persuasion she finally agreed and now she truly enjoys her work at the reception desk of that hotel. It gives me immense happiness to see her be the confident and independent woman that I always wanted her to be.

Almost an entire month has passed since I resumed my work at the clinic again. I am happy that things are slowly falling back into place. Being back at my clinic seems really refreshing, and it also contributes to keeping my mind engaged. And on weekends, when we get to go to Martha's place, it makes me feel even more relieved. It wonders me to know that in a really short span, both Martha and my mom have become such good friends. My mom even loves spending time with Millie because she is so much like my little sister, Charlotte.

It's crazy to think that how quickly we have become a strong family together. And since then, Martha has strictly instructed us to make it a tradition to visit their house for family time at weekends. When we are here, we usually do a lot of fun stuff, but one thing that we never miss is doing FaceTime with Francis and Charlotte. And in all those times, I've noticed how Millie smiled or blushed whenever Francis threw a compliment at her or tried flirting with her. And she would always stare at the screen once the call would end exactly like she is doing right now. It would be pretty obvious to anyone to know from her face that she's got a crush on him.

"You like Francis, don't you?" I ask her when I notice her still gazing at the screen.

"Umm...yeah." She says, still not caring to avert her gaze to me.

"Looks like you are way more smitten by him than I expected." I tease, nudging her shoulder.

She turns towards me, and her eyes grow wide when she realizes what I said. "No...I mean..." Her cheeks turn pink before she even struggles to come up with an excuse. She covers her face with her hands and shakes her head when she fails utterly in doing it.

I laugh in response, watching her cute reaction. She really is so adorable. After a moment, I wrap my arm around her shoulder and lean towards her to whisper. "You know you can confide in me."

She pulls her hands away and looks at me and hesitates. "He is cute but..."

"But?"

"He is...too shiny. I bet there would be a lot of girls crushing on him in his school." She says with a sad pout.

"That doesn't matter as long as he is still single." I smile at her and see the corners of her mouth curving up in response. "I can play your cupid." I wink at her and suggest.

"Are you being serious?" She asks with her curious eyes.

"Do you want me to?" I arch my eyebrow at her, and she begins to laugh. I pinch her nose and her face instantly turns red. She is such an innocent kid. I feel so protective of her, just like I am of my other siblings. And my body still burns with rage when I think of someone trying to do her wrong. I would always be here to protect her, no matter what happens.

"Is..is Christopher gone forever?" Millie's voice brings me back from my thoughts. I look at her and see that she is gazing up at me intently. I process her question and a wave of sadness washes over my entire body.

"I don't know." I sigh, trying to not reflect the pain that I am feeling in my heart all of a sudden.

"Do you miss him?" She asks in a low tone.

I look into her eyes and nod. Then I look away for a moment and say. "I don't know if I would ever stop missing him."

"I am sorry," Millie says sadly when I look back at her. "I miss him too. I wish he was here with us." She sighs and I could see her lips quivering. "He protected me and gave me this family. Without him...it just doesn't feel like one."

I pull her into a hug when her eyes well up and say. "We are still strong together, Millie. We'll get through it." I was fine with Christopher for having his reasons for not returning to my life, but what did this little girl do to receive his ignorance? She always adored him and I was pretty sure that Christopher loved her too. Then how could he turn so cold towards her?

"Yeah," she says, hugging me back.

After a while, when we pull away, Millie looks at me and says softly. "I got something for you." She fetches something from her pocket and hands it to me. I glance at it and see that it's Christopher's picture. From the jacket that Christopher is wearing, I could tell it's of the time when he brought me here. In it, he is sitting at the dining table and staring in the opposite direction. The picture just has Christopher, so I really couldn't see what he is looking at. But something in his eyes makes me think that he was staring at me.

As if sensing what's running through my mind, Millie speaks. "I snapped it when he was staring at you." She smiles sheepishly, and it makes my throat constrict with emotions. "Thought you would like to have it."

I smile and wrap my arms around her again, trying to fight back the tears. "Thank you."

At night, we all sit to have dinner. My mom and Martha are sitting across from me. And me, Becky, and Millie are sitting on the same side. The three of them prepared dinner while I and Millie had a chat with Francis and Charlotte. At least Becky said so, but I am pretty confident she would have done nothing more than to keep them entertained with her chattering part. Becky dropped us here earlier, so instead of making her go all the way back, we asked her to join us for dinner. And she happily accepted our invitation because it isn't a big deal for her to make herself comfortable within 5 minutes of being at any new place. Just like how she did here.

I rub Frosty's head as he takes a nap under the table. "Jacob was asking me your mother's number," Martha speaks and I stop patting him and look at her.

"Martha?" my mom scolds, glaring at her from the side.

"Who is Jacob?" I question, looking at them both.

"He is the other receptionist. I think he got a teeny-tiny crush on your mom." Martha says with a mischievous smile, getting another glare from my mother.

"Wow! That's super cute." Becky claps her hands excitedly as I look at her, making Millie giggle.

"Mom, you never told me..." I quirk an eyebrow, turning back my gaze to my mother again.

"Because there wasn't anything significant to be told about." She clears her throat, not looking at me, and then turns towards Martha. "And for a reminder, I am still married."

"You wouldn't be in a few months," Martha smirks in response, taking a bite of her lasagna. Yeah, that's true. When my mom said that she would be filing for divorce soon, I was a bit shocked. I didn't expect her to make such a big decision in a short period, but then I was also happy to realize that she was finally living for herself. I am glad to see that she has recognized her value, and now she is taking a step towards enjoying her life on her own terms. Dad wasn't pleased to hear that from her, but he didn't protest either. I guess he was already aware that this would ultimately be the consequence of all the suffering he caused us.

"How does this Jacob guy look?" Becky asks my mom curiously after a moment.

"Probably like a kid. He is too young for my age." My mom says.

"Now I realize where Nikki got it from. What's so wrong with younger guys?" Becky huffs, looking at me now. I don't know why she feels so offended by what my mother said. "Does it have to be anything about their dick sizes?"

I almost choke on my food when she says that. "Becky, mind using a filter." I glare at her and say. "We have a kid here."

"I am not a kid anymore. I am almost sixteen." Millie interrupts, making my eyes grow wide in shock. Seriously?

"See, she has been aware of all male reproductive organs for a long time." Becky laughs.

"You are unbelievable." I shake my head and then look in front of me. "Martha, why are you not saying anything?"

"Martha?" I ask her again when she doesn't say anything and keeps staring at Becky's face.

"I highly doubt if they include penis sizes in the school curriculum." She finally blurts, and I look at her in total disbelief. Jesus! What the hell is wrong with everyone? I now regret letting Becky stay. She is a terrible influence, even on elder people.

Before I could speak anything, all four of them burst into laughter. I swear they are going to drive me fucking crazy.

"Come on Nikki. Don't stress yourself so much. It's not good for the cute little baby that you are going to pop out soon." Becky suggests.

"And that's exactly why I am mortified about." I look at her and say. "The thought of you being anywhere near my baby is scaring the shit out of me." I scoff. Becky, Sam, and Emily eventually got to know about my pregnancy news and Christopher being missing. It was painful and a bit awkward to let them know about this, but thankfully my friends were considerate enough to understand my situation and didn't intend to pry on anything more.

"I would be the coolest aunt providing your baby with sex education." She wriggles her eyebrows at me and I frown in disgust.

"Can we just talk about something else unless you want me to puke all over the dining table?" I narrow my eyes at her and say.

"Gross!" She rolls her eyes and then looks at my mom. "Okay, let's get back to Jacob. So Julia, are you gonna give him your number?"

"No." She shakes her head in denial. She looks at me hesitantly and then turns to Becky. "I wouldn't want to raise his hopes by giving him my number or going out with him. It would be wrong." She tries to sound convincing, but I can witness a glint of sorrow in her eyes.

Does she like this Jacob? I know she stopped loving my father a long time ago. She was just putting up with him for the sake of keeping our family together and with the whole Max ordeal, she finally found the courage to cut those ties. I don't know what she feels about this guy, but I can certainly make out from her tone that she is being hesitant about talking about this topic because she is being skeptical about my judgment towards her. She probably assumes I would think differently of her if she agrees to give her number to a man. But why would I do that? Why would I try to take away her freedom? She deserves happiness after everything she has been through for years and I would never try to become a hurdle on her way to it. I don't want her to fear me or anyone else because she is free to do anything.

"Maybe you can be honest with him." I look at my mother and reach for her hand on the table. "I think it wouldn't be a bother if you'd agree to be friends with him." I smile, looking into her eyes.

"And who knows what it might lead you to once you're single again in the future," Martha says playfully, and my mom rolls her eyes at her. She then looks at me and a wide smile appears on her face. I know it's not because of that guy or Martha's teasing, but it's because of the assurance that I gave her. She is happy to know that I trust her with all her decisions and seeing the bright smile of that realization on her face at this moment brings great satisfaction to my heart.

Later that night, we head to a nearby beach. Mom, Becky, Martha, and Millie settle down on the sand facing the ocean while I walk on the shore with Frosty. I could hear their laughter in the distance as I move away from them. It brings joy to me seeing this new family of mine smile with happiness. The grainy sand tickles my feet and I feel a sense of a calm rush through my body. I breathe in the salty air and it gives me a kind of peace that I didn't feel in a long time. All these times, it felt like I have been engaging in a battle with myself. Like my mind was on an unbalanced seesaw of emotions.

Sometimes I would think about all the possible reasons that would have led Christopher to run away from me and worry myself, then to balance it, I would remind myself of the cute little angel I am carrying inside me. Other times I would be happy wondering about the day when I'll finally get to hold my baby in my arms and immediately counter it, by thinking about how Christopher wouldn't be there to witness it. It felt like I was running on a hamster wheel since the day I woke up, wearing myself with all these thoughts.

Trying to forget Christopher or erase his memories completely from my mind would definitely be an impossible task to achieve. Neither I want to do that, nor I would be able to, even if I wanted. He has engraved himself permanently in my heart and body in the form of this baby, and it would keep reminding me of him for the rest of my life. And the sad part is I can't do anything about it. I am 12 weeks pregnant by now. When I had the realization that my belly was still flat, I got scared but my OB/GYN relieved my anxiety by telling me that usually in the first pregnancy, women start showing later around 14-16 weeks. I was happy and also terrified to gain that information. Because having a baby bump would make this experience all real, and that's when I know my actual struggle would start.

I hate to admit it, but all this time, I have been still clinging to the last faith that at least Colby would be able to find something about Christopher. But when he wasn't able to track him down, all my hopes were shattered. I knew then that it was the end. It was over and I needed to brace myself to accept the reality. At that moment, the realization that I have to move on with my life without having Christopher by my side hit me fucking hard.

I heard later from my father that Colby surrendered. But my dad was also pretty positive about him getting bail soon because there hasn't been his direct involvement in any of his uncle's or dad's business. So it's going to serve in the favor of proving his innocence and I am happy about it. Colby has always been a nice guy, someone I always trusted. I could never forget how helpful he has been to me since the day I met him. And not to ignore the fact that, in the meantime, he also became an amazing friend of mine. I don't want to lose him at any cost. I just hope he is able to get out of this real soon.

I stop and turn to look at the moon that's enveloping the sea with its glorious shine and it reminds me of the time when I was at the beach with Christopher on our first date night. I close my eyes and imagine having Christopher's arms around me when the wind cocoons me into its embrace. I can feel the lump building in my throat, ready to knock me down off my feet, but I try to keep myself strong. I don't know where Christopher is. I don't know when he would be back or if he is even going to come back, but one thing I am sure about is that I would never regret what I had with him. He would still be the man who taught me the real meaning of love. He would still be the man who owns my heart, even if he had left breaking it forever.

I don't know if I'd ever be able to forgive my dad for what he did to Max and all of us, but I know very well that I have buried the hatred that I had for him a long time ago. And there is no way that hate could creep back into my heart because it has been now absorbed with the burning love that I have in there for Christopher.

As I open my eyes, I experience the bitter realization that not all stories always have happy endings. At least I could find peace in imagining that he would be happy somewhere without me. It isn't always necessary for people in love to always end up together. Sometimes you have to let go of the other person to accept truly the essence of your love. That's how you suffer and grow. I smile, realizing that I still have a part of him with me. I look at the moon again and imagine Christopher to be somewhere on the other part of the country or maybe the world gazing at it too and thinking about me, just like I am thinking about him.

I place my hand over my stomach. This baby may not get to meet his father, but that wouldn't make me fill it with the hate for him. I would still let it know how amazing his or her father is and narrate the tale of our love. It kills me to not dream of how good a family we could have been together if Christopher would have still stayed with us. But that would just be a dream, not a reality. The reality that I know will not change, no matter how badly I want it to.

I will always love Christopher and nothing is going to change that reality that has been imprinted in my heart. I might happily bleed out to death, but I could never bring my heart to stop loving him.

He might have believed that he was the devil in my life, but I knew he was my angel. My grey-eyed angel.

The man that was betrayed and forced to lose his real self in the maze to find his identity, but no matter what he believed or who he really was. For me, he would always be my Christopher. He would always be the man who claimed my heart and soul.

I don't know what he thought himself of, but for me, he turned out to be a beautiful cure to my heart that I didn't even know I needed in my life until I met him.

A/N:

This was the last chapter of my first ever story, Slow Poison. Hope I didn't bore you guys to death. I am going to go now and sob in the corner. :')

Thank you so much for reading and making my baby reach 100k! Love you all!

Stay tuned. Epilogue coming soon!

Janny❤