I feel his lips dip into the crook of my neck, gently pecking the sensitive spot. His hot breath fans over the exposed skin of my shoulder making me shiver and I bite my lower lip in response trying to not let him know how much he is having control over me right now. The simple graze of his soft lips on my skin instantly makes every cell in my body come alive. All I want to do right now is to turn around and kiss him. I want him to realize how much I craved for his soothing presence to be around me. I want to feel his comforting lips against mine. I want him to relieve all my pain through that kiss. And I want it so fucking bad.

But somehow, after everything that happened today, it seems like there isn't enough strength left in my body that could fetch me to swivel around and look at him. I am so freaking tired of everything. I am just tired of thinking about the unsettled question storming in my mind. I am tired of thinking about Christopher's past, the lies that he told me, and its consequences that I have to face now being in a relationship with him. I don't want to think about any of them. I just want to forget everything at this moment and let myself relax.

It feels so fucking amazing to have Christopher's arms around me, holding me firmly. The warmth of his body cocoons me protectively as I lean over his chest, placing my head over his shoulder. This feels so freaking good! It's perfect! I don't want to ruin this moment by doing anything. I just want to stay a little longer like this. Because I know once we'll get back to reality, everything would change. Once I'll turn around and see Christopher's face, things wouldn't be the same ever again. So I try to prolong this moment as much as I can. Fuck! Why does this always happen to me? Why am I the only one who suffers in the end? I can't tell you how fucking miserable I am feeling right now.

After enjoying the feeling of his sheltering arms around my body for some more time, with a heavy heart, I gather the courage in me to open my eyes. I don't want to do this. I don't want this moment to be spoiled. Keeping that in mind, I stay in the same position, still not making an attempt to turn around. As soon as my vision clears, I see something strange. I see his hand from behind me, reaching towards the shampoo on the cabinet stand. I exhale slowly as he takes it in his palm. What is he doing? My heart skips a beat when I feel his calloused hands massaging my scalp gingerly. I did not expect that from him. His fingers stroke over my head soothingly and I close my eyes, feeling all comfortable again. I let myself enjoy this amazing sensation.

I know I shouldn't be relishing this moment for this long because I fear it might end anytime soon. But the feeling happens to be so good that I don't even dare to protest or say something to stop him. After what seems like a really long time, I turn my head and find myself staring at a pair of smoldering grey eyes. Christopher's beautiful grey eyes. He gazes at me intently as I look at his exquisite face. No matter how bad the situation is, it's his beauty that he always manages to look exceptionally alluring. My gaze wavers over his face, absorbing his godly features as water cascades over his face, making him appear sexier than ever, and then my vision finally settles on the most attractive part of it, his eyes.

I notice something unusual in his eyes. It appears as if they are filled with remorse. His shoulders sag in defeat as he lets out a tormented breath. My heart breaks with the sight of him looking at me with his eyes laden with immense sadness. It is painful for me to see him look like this. I don't want him to be sad. Without even knowing, my hand extends towards his face and gently caresses his cheek. He sighs, taking my hand in his palm, and kisses it gently. I keep staring at him as he leans forward and places a light kiss on my cheek, then slowly he leads it to the corner of my mouth. His hand travels down to my ass slowly, igniting fireworks through my body as I try to bite back a whimper threatening to rush out of my mouth. His lips linger over my lips, slightly brushing it as I hear him whispering, 'I am sorry.'

The next second his lips are on mine, kissing me. His arms tighten around my waist as he pulls me towards him, deepening the kiss. My mind becomes a haze as I lose my control, parting my lips to allow his tongue to wrap around mine eagerly. My fingers circle his neck, pulling him down towards me desperately. It feels like we have been craving for this for a long time. His hands travel down my back with our naked chests colliding together as we consume each other in this one kiss. This is what I have been waiting all day for. This kiss is all that I needed right now. I moan softly when he thrusts his tongue deeper into my mouth with his hard member poking against my stomach. I grip his hair harshly and kiss him harder, trying to ease the pain that's beginning to build between my thighs. But then, as if being crashed back to reality, I shove his chest, pulling myself back. What the fuck?

"Stop, Christopher. I can't." I pant, scrambling away from him in horror. His eyebrows twitch painfully as he looks at me in shock. I sigh and give him an apologetic glance before quickly grabbing a towel and stepping out of the bathroom. I freaking can't believe this. What the fuck, Nicole? What are you doing? Have you forgotten that you were fucking mad at him? Have you forgotten that he left you without giving answers to any of your questions? He fucking hurt you, Nicole. How can you forget that? You weren't able to sleep all night because of him and look, what are you doing now? Making the hell out with him and almost taking a fucking chance at fulfilling your sexual desires? Seriously? That's so fucking ridiculous.

I close my eyes, trying to gain my stability back as I rush out. When I get back to my room, I straight head to the closet. Taking out my duffle bag from it, I start stuffing it with my clothes.

Soon after I hear Christopher's footsteps coming out of the bathroom following me, but I avoid all possible chances of turning around and looking at him. It's because every single time when I look at him, I freaking tend to lose my shit. And risking to lose my fucking shit is the last thing that I want right now at this moment.

"What are you doing?" I hear his raspy voice behind me.

"What does it look like?" I retort without offering a glance at him.

"What? What do you mean?" He asks again with a sudden blow appearing in his voice. But this time, finding it not worth replying to his question, I keep going with my work, ignoring his interruption.

"Cole?" His strained voice reaches my ears, making me halt my actions instantly. Fuck! Why he has to call me that? I am sure that he is doing this deliberately because he knows how much effect that nickname holds over me. Every time I hear that name rolling out of his mouth, a surge of wild tingles run through my body, driving my heart go crazy. Fucking no! Don't you dare fall into the trap of that fascinating voice. I sigh and move towards the cupboard to get other things, disregarding the fact that Christopher is still in the room.

I hope he silently takes the indication that I am least interested in talking to him right now. I pull out my dresses randomly, assuming Christopher would have already left but when I turn around; I bang my head against something really hard. The impact is so strong that I stumble a bit back, hitting the cupboard door. I look in front of me and gasp when I realize it to be Christopher's chest. He is still here? Jesus! When did he get so close? My eyes take in the sculpted chest flashing in front of me, then traveling down through his pecks finally lands on the towel hanging low around his waist. Wait? Am I drooling? No fucking way! Stop it! Don't you fucking get distracted, Nicole? Before I could lose my concentration completely along with my sanity, I step aside and make my way towards my bag on the bed.

"Nicole, Please...talk to me." He pleads to me. What the fuck is his problem? Can't he understand that I don't want to talk to him?

Annoyed by his constant nagging, I snap at him bluntly. "There isn't anything to talk about, Christopher. We are done with this."

"No...you can't say that..." He says immediately.

Fine, if he doesn't understand the language of politeness then I do have other options to try on. I yank my head in his direction, hearing him protest and growl furiously. "Yes, I can because this thing between us is not working the way I thought it would," I say pointing the space between us with my index finger. Not even waiting to get his response, I turn back and continue packing my things.

Realizing how purposely unresponsive I am being to all his statements, he moves closer to me. "Stop it, Nicole. What are you doing?" He now stands beside me and asks.

"Can't you see? I am leaving?" I declare rudely without meeting his eyes as I shove things angrily into the bag. "It's what good for both of us."

Without even warning, Christopher grabs my arm and pulls me to look at him. "What? No, you can't leave. I won't let you." His tired eyes flicker over my face worriedly.

"Why do you think I care?" I huff bitterly, ripping my arm out of his grip. His face crumples a bit in pain as I look at him, but he manages to mask it skillfully. "I don't need your permission to go anywhere," I state moving away from him.

"Nicole, stop.." A torn out vibration echoes with his voice as he says that.

"Who the fuck are you to stop me?" I cross my arms and direct towards him indignantly. Wait! I remember that I decided to talk with Christopher about this matter calmly. Then why the hell I am behaving like this? Why am I not tackling the situation the way I thought I would be doing? I guess it's because when I look at his face all I could see is the raging anger with which he banged the door on my face and left the house. The way he acted at that moment was certainly not very thoughtful, which is the reason why I am upset with him. And I also think that the encounter with Peter in the afternoon has affected my mind insanely. That's why I am growing irritated with everything happening. I feel like I can't tolerate this anymore. I am freaking tired of dealing with boys in my life.

"Nicole, please...don't do this." Christopher urges me softly, compelling me to focus my gaze back on him. Grief brims in the corner of his eyes as he breathes heavily.

"Why? Have you fucking forgotten what you did before leaving?" I bark at him, remembering how he screamed at me before leaving. It's a fucking payback for what he did. "You ended it. You fucking ended it for us."

"Nicole..." His enervated voice gets to my ears in whispers. It makes me sad to see his beautiful face drained out of energy but I shrug it off avoiding letting myself weaken because of it.

Not letting him speak, I proceed. "You lied to me, Christopher. You lied about something which is terrible to imagine." I sigh and close my eyes when I imagine Richard's haunting words ricocheting in my head. "You broke my trust." I open my eyes, pausing for a moment, and stare into his eyes. A lump of sadness instantly forms in my throat when he tears his gaze away from me in guilt.

"I believed in you. I thought this would work. I thought our relationship..." I choke on my words as the knot in my chest grows bigger.

My vision blurs as I breathe slowly. "It feels like I don't even know who you are anymore." The room fills with dead silence as I stand in front of him waiting for his answer. I know he wouldn't say anything because he has absolutely nothing to say in his defense. Everything that I stated right now is undeniably true. I wipe my eyes feeling a sense of defeat and turn around to carry on with what I was doing that's when I hear his hoarse voice.

"I feel that, Cole."

"What?" I turn to look at him in confusion and ask.

"I feel like I don't know who am I either," Christopher tells slowly. He isn't facing me but is looking on the other side, towards the window. His eyes turn glassy as he painfully sucks in a breath.

His jaw clenches tightly and he shuts his eyes close, and it appears to me as if he is struggling to get the right words through his mouth. "It's just..." He sighs and shakes his head violently. "Everything is so fucking messed. That accident has fucked up my mind completely. I don't know how to make you believe. I don't know how to stop you from leaving." He keeps on talking as I stare at him. "I don't know how to explain it to you. I don't know...how to start...Fuck! I don't know how to make the right decisions." His fingers grip his hair in frustration as he groans.

"I feel like I don't know what I am doing...I don't know what I am talking about anymore, Cole." He gazes at me and I gasp realizing the intense suffering in his eyes. "I don't know who I am. It's terrible. It's killing me, Nicole."

"I am so fucking lost...I don't know..." He says with his hands still gripping his hair as he slumps down to the ground. A loud shriek escapes from my mouth as I run towards him. I kneel in front of him immediately and squeeze his shoulder, urging him to look at me.

"Christopher?" He slowly lifts his gaze and the moment our eyes meet, my heart shatters into a million pieces. I have never seen such an agonizing pain reflecting in anyone's eyes like that I am witnessing in Christopher's gloomy eyes right now. Tears stream out of my eyes, realizing that I am the one to be blamed for pushing him to this limit. But how would I have known that he was hurting so much from inside? I didn't expect that accident to have such a terrible effect on his mental state.

"Don't leave me, please. I need you, Nicole." Christopher grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers before I can register anything. "I know you are the one who could help me get out of this." His tormented eyes peek at me expectantly. "I am so lost, Nicole.....Please help me find myself." His voice becomes barely audible as his lips quiver.

"I don't know...Christopher."

"I'll tell you everything." He claims instantly before I can say anything.

He pulls my hand closer to him as if he is scared that I would leave him if he lets it go. "Yes, Nicole. I'll tell you everything. You want to know about my brother, right? Do you want to know why I killed him? I'll tell you everything." He babbles looking at me.

"You want to know who the girl in that picture is? I'll tell you....but please don't leave.." He shakes his head like a kid nodding at me. I don't know what to say? I sigh as my vision darts between his face and his hand holding mine in his lap.

"Please, Nicole. Don't do this. Don't give up on us." He begs, looking at me with his weary eyes.

"I don't want to give up..." I finally pour out what my heart wants to convey. I want to be with Christopher. I want to help him, but after whatever happened, I am just skeptical thinking about how things are going to turn out. "I want this to work, Christopher. But I don't know..."

"Please Nicole, I know things have been complicated with me. I have been living in a fucked up business with a fucked up past." He sighs as he continues. "I know the circumstances in which we met were bizarre...but trust me, I've always tried to be honest with you." He clutches my hand gently. "I promise I'll tell you everything. Please don't leave me like this...Please give me a chance. Hear me out."

I wait for a moment, grasping whatever he just said. Then looking into his deep eyes, I say. "Okay, I'll listen to you."

A/N:

Please do vote and comment.

Sorry for a bad chapter guys.

Thank you for reading!

Janny❤