If the book has an intended purpose of depicting healthy vs unhealthy relationships, in particular in the BDSM realm, the author may be served well with a bit more research. There are two particular issues I'd like to point out:

The opening justification for why the Junji feels the way he felt about the lifestyle is entirely valid as his ex-gf had cheated on him when he refused to fulfill her kinks rather than having an honest, open dialogue about it. The later reveal also seems to vilify her further. However, rather than focusing on the emotional and physical blackmail, the beginning of the story seems to focus on her "depravity" which to me, feels to be on the side of kink-shaming. To each their own and far from any of us to judge each other's kinks. If someone has an exhibition streak coupled with multiple partners, including strangers, that is their prerogative and such kinks should not be labeled with derogatory terms. I believe the story would be a much stronger and healthier depiction of BDSM if the author was to have Junji focus on the betrayal of trust rather than judging her kinks. I find it difficult to read as the author seemed determined to depict this girl a certain way without explaining her motivations in a way that dehumanizes her and for me, it was hard to read on to even reach to chapter 4 in order to find out the depth of her emotional abuse which seems to be much more important to highlight early on.

This trend continues with the implication of Junji's research in a later chapter. I applaud the author in showing different sides of the lifestyle, but again, the judgment that Junji shows towards the harder side feels very judgemental to me and anti-sex-positive which is what the lifestyle is all about. I found myself wishing he would take more of a "not for me, but hey, there is something out there that is for me!" kind of attitude rather than an extremely judgemental one. I haven't read later into the story but I am hoping that he learns, in the end, to accept other preferences even if they are not their own. This is especially important for a Dom as a judgment on a sub's kinks may be extremely damaging to their psyche.

BDSM is also a very broad term that encompasses many aspects from the bedroom only, to complete lifestyle, Rather than have the characters discuss BDSM as a thing they practice, it may be better to get into a bit more detailed description as to what specific aspects they practice. Is it sadism/machoism? Is it bondage? Degrees of power dynamics (whether outside or inside the bedroom?) Pet play? Details will help make the story more realistic.

On showing rather than telling. Take out the tags that indicate backstory, etc and consider where flashbacks may be appropriate. The insert of backstories is disruptive to the story flow and can make the reader lose the plotline itself. Consider using more details and take your time in describing movements, emotions, expressions, etc in order to bring the story alive to draw the reader in;

I applaud at some of the dialogue and advice Hanabishi imparts to Junji, later on, to describe what healthy power dynamic relationships should be like. To me, it scratches the surface and I hope the book, later on, delves deeper into what that actually means in practice, especially as much of it is such as emotional honesty is easier said than done.

I'm happy to chat further and have an open dialogue on what good looks like.

The book appears to match the summary.

Four chapters in however and I'm left with lots of questions. The author does attempt to answer some but managed to leave me with an alternative question. Case and point - why was he with S? Apparently blackmail. But hey his family had money too. Plus why couldn't he tell his family there was a threat. And if he was gay all along did him and she ever has sex? If so, what made him get hard? See, neverending questions.

The author does a good job showing that the main character is traumatized by previous experience. Also showing his inexperience with the lifestyle. Although even that raised questions

as he never seemed to truly research the lifestyle.

Suggestion to incorporate the backstories into the actual storyline. E.g

My aunt often reminisces about how they started the club to fill a need they had. They had tried several clubs and scenes and that all seemed lacking. So eventually they found it best to start their own.

As this is an m/m storyline I cannot relate. However, I will continue to follow this author.

I read the first five chapters and still feel I don't understand the plot. The book felt very choppy and was filled with confusing wording and grammar mistakes. This made the story lack emotion. The pacing was hard to follow because it jumped around quite a bit between backstories and present scenes. Character descriptions were given at the beginning before the story began but these things should come out in the writing as you read the story so that the reader can paint a picture of that character in their mind.

The characters would have been more believable if the dialogue made more sense. I found myself saying to myself "people don't speak that way to each other" quite a bit while I was reading. I think that with some editing this could be a great story and I like the idea of having a club that teaches the in's and out's of the BDSM lifestyle. The story bounced around quite a bit which I found to be confusing. Just when I thought I had a grasp on what was going on it switched to a backstory. I think that instead of having that in the middle of the chapter you could have the backstory as its own chapter. Something to consider.

I would read more of this author's work after editing. The strongest part of this story was the original idea behind it. I think this story could be very good with some extra work. I can see that the author put a lot of work into this story. Keep writing!

My understanding of the story is Jungi learning about BDSM, and there is more to it then chains and whips. The story doesn't feel like it starts until the 4th chapter. This was when I was able to start reading it and getting into the scenes and learning about how Jungi's ex is a real sociopath with what she put him through. The story has a unique concept to it, as I think many people in our society don't understand BDSM, dominates, submissive. In the author's requests for suggestions on writing characters, I believe what can help them is giving them different layers and a background.

Unfortunately, I had a difficult time relating the characters other than learning about BDSM and wanting to explore sexuality. I would figure after what Jungi's ex did to him he would have serious trust issues with any relationship he enters. Trust issues can be an excellent negative trait for him to have and work on. I don't know much else about him. To help build upon characters emotions and feelings, internal sensations and thoughts can be directly put into the writing even though its in 3rd person. Body language can also be displayed as well to display someone's reaction.

Suggestions on writing more extended sex scenes, the most I can say about this is to build your scenes up. For example, small light touch can trigger fireworks in someone's body when they are attracted another. Sensations of someone's breath before they kiss, how the kiss can taste or feel throughout your body. As I mentioned earlier, adding the internal sensations thoughts, and body language of another can help make it longer, and more appealing to the reader.

The other only suggestion I have is to add sensory details to your scene as I didn't watch the story play out like a movie. I know its hard learning the concept as it took me forever, but show me, don't tell me. I want to experience what happened to Jungi when his ex did all those awful things in the video, how it tore him up inside, made his stomach roil, how he became dizzy and dragging himself away from the scene before throwing up.

This story has endless possibilities and I can see the authors talent trying to push through it. Keep writing, editing, polishing because I want to see the book grow into something more as I am myself a freaky lady in disguise who likes BDSM

I'll start off with the summary of this book. It wasn't a bad summary but it was riddled with grammatical errors. I would suggest a read through to amend them. Otherwise, I thought it provided enough information without giving too much away. Which is what a summary is supposed to be. And the plot of the story was simple and clear, so I went in knowing what to expect.

The 'Meet the Characters' page seemed unnecessary. It's always better to introduce these characters as the story progresses because it's more organic. The way it's laid out isn't organic at all.

I thought the description of some of the characters was a little weird. This is supposed to take place in Japan and yet nearly every character has blue or green eyes. There's even a character with RED eyes. It just eliminates the realism. It would have worked if this was a fantasy story but it's not.

The structure of the story at times was odd. There are random flashbacks, which would have been all right had it not been specifically stated that it was a flashback. In most stories or novels I read these scenes are in italics to indicate it's a flashback. Then there were also random scenes that were supposed to give us the background of a character. These things make the story less polished. Instead of jumping to a scene that says 'Junji's story' try to weave that background into the actual story. I love that so much time was invested in giving these characters backgrounds; I just would have liked it more if it was incorporated in a different way that was more seamless and not jumpy.

And Junji and Hanabishi suddenly become boyfriends after very little time? Like one second Junji is telling him about his ex, then they sleep together and then they're a couple? It just happened so fast. I know they already knew each other but they just seemed to jump into it so quickly. The sleeping together is totally fine but I think it would be better for the relationship to develop more before they become an actual couple.

I know one of the weak points that Jazmine wants to improve are the sex scenes. They weren't badly written or anything but it didn't allow us to feel what Junji felt emotionally when it was happening. We only got what was right on the surface of the scene. When there's no showcase of that it's difficult to connect with the characters.

I did like the amount of detail that was put into the physical descriptions of the characters when they were introduced in the story - and aside from the above, I did think the pacing worked for the story. I was also a fairly easy read because I ended up reading seven chapters instead of the required three to five.