I've read 4 chapters. From reading the chapters, I've assumed that we're within a historical environment. There are kings, nobles, princesses, and bandits as spices for a plot that could lead to many possibilities. It takes 4 chapters before anything of interest happens and it's a shock to the lead character. She holds the resemblance of a wild horse, so her fate as she goes through her journey is one I'm sure she won't take laying down. At the moment, I have no connection with any of the characters which ais a no-no for the first few chapters. Sometimes a short dialogue or a paragraph or two per chapter to give insight is enough to fix this. There are some grammar issues, but I'm sure that you'll deal with those when you're editing.

~GoddessV

What did you think the book was about?

An arranged marriage that the protagonist does not want.

Did you feel that the book filled your expectations?

Yes, it was something new to read, and I enjoyed the chapters I read through. It kept me engaged throughout the reading. I didn't feel bored, and the author has a good idea where she wants to go with the story.

What about the plot?

The plot seems like a heavy one which requires the main female lead to marry an older man. She doesn't get to choose who she marries, and she wants freedom. The plot has been used before, but of course, it can be an original and one of a kind.

Do the characters seem real and relatable?

In some ways, yes. The female lead is going to be forced to marry a man she isn't in love with. Women tend to want a marriage for love and not money or power. Although I think she can be more reliable if the internal dialogue is added. She has to be experiencing a lot of turmoil and mixed emotions, anger, fear, resentment. I think this could. What does she feel during conversations, is her heart racing, does she feel like crying, is her skin hot, is she sweating, does she want to punch someone int he face but doesn't.

How was the pacing of the chapters you read?

The pacing seemed fine. It wasn't rushed or anything. I did not see any areas for improvement here.

How was the description of the chapters?

This area could use work. I did not find many sensory details, but more dialogue than anything. Set the scene, what the characters look like, what are the characters doing, what is their body language telling the reader. What time period does it take place, where does she live and what is it like, what does the food taste like, what do you see, hear, smell. It will add some length to your writing but help fill in the gaps missing and make a beautiful scene. The dialogue is smooth, so adding bits and pieces of sensory details can make your writing a lot more colorful.

Describe what you liked or disliked about the authors writing style?

I enjoyed the story itself of what I read so far. The author is good at creating unique and different stories. I like the originality of her work. I think what would help make her work stronger is adding more sensory details and internal dialogue about the characters feelings, and sensations.

Would you read more of the author's work?

Yes, I always enjoy her work.

~SSMarie358

Chapters read: 3

I thought the book was going to be more mature – both because of the description and the cover. The three chapter's I've read have this fairy tale feel to it, which is interesting, but I can't really see any mature elements in it. The main character seems very juvenile and I wish she had a bit more depth.

There are a lot of other character's presented, but I have trouble placing everyone (who they are, their place in the story). I'm a bit confused about what time in history the story is set to - and where. A lot feels like it could be back in time, but some of the language feels more current, and maybe especially Samantha's thoughts. It's a weird mix of old and new language/wording.

There are in general a lot of grammatical mistakes. The dialog is okay but doesn't feel all that natural in some places. There are elements of good descriptions, but I wish there were more. I'd like to get a better feel, for example, the setting/surroundings, the characters and how the conversations flow.

Regarding the pacing of the chapters; personally, I would have preferred to start the story closer to when she gets kidnapped. I lost focus during the first chapter and struggled a bit to read on.

I can see potential in the story, but I'm missing that 'tied together' feeling; where the plot, the storyline, the characters, the dialog, the description, and the language (grammar) ties everything together. The plot is interesting, but because I kept losing focus on the things that need some work, I couldn't enjoy it as much as I wish I could.

Things I like: The 'slave-owner' idea and that the main character isn't afraid to be herself. All in all, the story is not what I had expected.

~Mekri21

This was more interesting than I thought it would be. I was expecting a more cliche story about a prince and a princess falling in love but it took an interesting turn early on. The plot pulled me in quickly especially after the 3rd chapter, in fact, I read more than was expected.

The main female character is extremely likable. She exhibits strength, ingenuity, and intelligence. The pacing was perfect, which was one of the stronger points about this story.

I felt that the wording was confusing at points as I had to read some sentences several times to understand what the author meant. Some minor editing could fix this. I would definitely read more from this author in the future. Overall, it's a great read.

~Gentle_Gen85

To be honest, I felt nothing for the characters in this story, but it was good. The princess, she's like a teenager rebelling on what society is making her into. Something she's not. As for Tristan the leader of the bandits. He's going to have a hard time making her submit to his desires.

Don't get me wrong. The plot is good, just these two are playing the cat and mouse game. Or more like let's see who cracks first game. I really couldn't feel anything when I read this story. And I'm sorry for saying something like this. It's good, but it lacks something.

~Jasz

The blurb gave a very interesting premise and I found the setting of the story also pretty neat. Although I've only read 9 chapters, I think the plot is sound and has a lot of potential.

For me personally though, this story was a bit difficult of a read, but it took me a while to realize why and I hope this feedback may help. I have two particular technical points.

The setting itself, while a bit disorienting was a bit difficult to pinpoint. I had in mind the English Robin Hood era setting but have no idea if I was right. Is it a fictitious timeline or a real setting somewhere in world history? A bit more world-building will help with situating the story a bit more.

Secondly, language was probably the biggest detractor for me. The sentence structures lean towards the shorter side making it feel a little too simple of language. In some cases (apologies, I can't remember the exact chapter), handsome was overused and appeared in almost every sentence.

More varied vocabulary will probably help make the story come alive more. I also found many instances where there were switches between writing in third and first-person, sometimes even mid-sentence. Watch out for those!

I have trouble pinpointing the princess as a character. Her naivety seemed almost at odds with her unwillingness to be tamed. But I think that may be a good thing that can be played up more to make her a more distinctive character. Tristan right now is more of a mystery, but it's pretty obvious early on that he's a misunderstood kind of individual. It keeps me wondering if there's be twists later in the story.

All in all, I think you have the bones of a good story here. More practice in lifting the language will probably help as well as making sure to stay in the right perspective will definitely make the story even better.

~Pixie

I read the first few chapters and had read this story previously when the author was going in a different direction. I have to say I liked the other direction more, but a writer has to write what they're compelled to write.

I find the cover, blurb, and title at odds with the actual story now. The latter suggests very steamy content, but so far, that doesn't seem to be where the story is going. As I'm not far in maybe that changes later. These are just my initial reactions.

There are issues with sentence structure, repetition, grammar, spelling, and tense slipping all of which make it difficult to follow at times. This can certainly be helped by finding an editor or self-editing more carefully if possible. Using editing software can also help.

The characters need more development because as of right now there is no emotional connection to any of them for me. It's fairly easy to give the reader a little more insight earlier on to make us really invested. Even a few lines of well-written dialogue would help.

Right now, the story seems to lack clarity in most areas: setting, time period, speech. The concept is an interesting one and there is definitely potential if these issues are addressed during the revision stage. The author has talent, and it's all there, it just needs some refining. The plot idea is really the strong point of this story.

~T

Chapters 1-5 Review:

1. What did you think the book was about?

— Honestly, I didn't read the summary because I wanted to be surprised. I expected the story to be all about romance, some steamy scenes, but I was positively surprised it wasn't like that at all. I like the story, it's fun and vivid. I can picture Samantha and her actions, the setting, everything. Samantha reminds me of three Disney princess, lol. Merida, Anna, and Mulan. I'm excited to find out what happens after chapter 5.

2. Did you feel the book fulfilled your expectations?

— I expected a lot romantic scenes, maybe some foreplay or something sensual — but I'm happy I didn't get what I expected. As I said before, the story is fun to read, and the descriptions are vivid and beautiful.

3. What about the plot? Did it pull you in; or did you feel you had to force yourself to read the book?

— Yes! The plot pulled me in. I was having as much fun as Samantha was in the story. I especially loved the lizard scene. lol. She is my love child. Gotta hand it to the author, the descriptions in the story flow splendidly — it's refreshing. I loved how the plot developed one step at a time. I want to know, why her father sold her to the bandits? I also think, that he really meant to sell her. Something tells me, that he might have sold her in order to save her, or he sold her in order to keep the bandits from rebelling or causing mayhem. It could be anything, really. Obviously, something is off.

4. Do the characters seem real and believable? (Basically, can you relate to their predicaments? To what extent do they remind you of yourself or someone you know, if they do at all?)

— I can't fully relate to Samantha because I'm no princess, and I don't have to marry a man twice my age, who happens to be a pervert. However, I can relate to Samantha's feelings in society during that period of time because even today, women feel suppressed and oppressed. Plus unlike most princesses, she's her own person, not a puppet. She's unique.

5. How was the pacing of the chapters you read? (Consider if the scenes skipped or jumped randomly. Too fast or too slow? Why?)

— The pacing of the chapters was good and even. There was a moment where it had a little bump here and there, but that's because there were a few tense shifts and the wrong possessive noun. But, that can be edited carefully.

6. How was the description of the chapters you read? (Consider if there where any information bumps. Were there a lack of emotions, too little describing, telling rather than showing, etc.)

— Like I said before, the descriptions of the setting and scenes in action were written really well. I could picture the scenes playing out like a film. It was written beautifully.

7. Describe what you liked or disliked about the writer's style? Why?

— I didn't dislike the writing style. It was simple, flowed really well, and felt refreshing. Well done.

8. Would you read more of the author's work?

— I'm actually reading chapter 6 right now, lol. So yeah, I'll continue reading cause it's good.

~Jojo