I found your story easy to get through and overall enjoyable. The dialogue was very cute and funny in parts, I really liked that. Love the interesting name of, Fleck for your MC. It's different and unique. You write very well in the male pov, that's not always easy to do. But you gave him a nice masculine tone that I appreciated.

There were some grammatical errors. Try using contractions to make text flow more naturally in certain spots. There were also some spelling errors and misuse of words, but all that is just editing.

The changing of POVs in the same chapter is always something I tend to dislike and so do a lot of readers. I would suggest writing a full chapter in one pov then switching in the next. Or completely switching to third person pov altogether.

Also, some of your paragraphs are quite long. Try cutting them down to makes it easier to read especially on mobile for people who use flip instead of the scroll feature. Chapter 3 is when that issue really stuck out. There were paragraphs that could have been 2 or 3 paragraphs, one right after another. A long paragraph every now and then isn't a sin, just try to limit them as much as possible.

I really liked the internal conflict to stay professional despite the attraction. It was hot, funny, and cute all at the same time. There was some great moment that could have been shown through dialogue instead of telling through narration that you passed up on. You might want to go back and add some of that in when you do a rewrite.

You do a nice job when describing intimate scenes. I kept waiting for something to happen earlier on. Some action that would actually require Grayson to bodyguard. That was what was missing for me. The entire story was them basically playing house until the last few chapters, it would have been nice if someone broke into her house or there was an actual threat to her life a lot sooner. Little things here and there that would have created a constant sense of danger. That would have made it more exciting, and I guess that is just what comes to mind when I think of a bodyguard story. So, I thought that was the kind of story we would be getting.

Fleck and Grayson are likable and I really appreciated how you gave her the insecurity about her looks and people only wanting her for her money. As a big girl, it is definitely hard to always feel confident and sexy as much as we try and as much as we have good self-esteem. Society always puts that little voice in the backs of our heads, so seeing that struggle paired with the fact that we knew Gray was genuinely attracted to her, made me sympathize with her.

In all, you have great bones set up in your story so far (and isn't that what a rough draft is anyway?). I think when you go in for that first rewrite, you are going to take what is already a really awesome story and make it incredible!

~T

The story is about Fleck having a gorgeous bodyguard (baby sitter) name Grayden who happen to be as hot as the Playgirl magazine cover :P I must admit, in the first chapter, I'm already hooked. The writer knows how to used words to feel the emotions of the character. The description of the maid lead adds to your imagination that pushes you to like them too.

The fire is already there even I just read the three chapter. The flow of the story is incredible and I will love to continue it more, I don't find any flows, only some mistype which the author her self corrected on her inline. I love it!

~Ariane

This book pulled me in from the start because Fleck is a plus-sized boss chick.

I like that the author shows you that even though she has her occasional insecurities at heart she's at that place where she's finally comfortable with her body.

I'm loving the sexual tension between the main characters. Something's gotta give and I can't wait to find out what makes Gray give in to what he really wants.

There are a few grammatical errors but it doesn't detract from the storyline. I would definitely read more from this writer.

~Csuigar

Under His Protection is a cute story about the budding, professionally forbidding romance between a curvy and (mostly) confident lady and her hunky security detail.

This story did live up to my expectations and I definitely think there is, and will always be a market for this kind of plot. On one hand, you have the burning need in both women and men to be loved and accepted not just for who they are, but because they are themselves. On the other hand, many (not all of course) have that almost biological 'want' to be protected. Women have come a long long way in the last few centuries, but whether it's biological or social conditioning from birth, there are a disproportionate number of solely Male protector stories compared to solely Female protector stories.. although I have started seeing quite a few more (mostly) equal Male and Female protector protagonists.

I found Fleck to be quite relatable (minus the forced 3-week vacation... man, the perks of nepotism) I greatly enjoyed her character and her comfort in herself. Graydon however, seemed very flat by comparison. Now I only read the first 6 chapters, so this may have been rectified later on, but he is very one dimensional with only one thing on his mind. I think this is just a personal preference of mine, but sexual attraction is one thing, but affection and interactions are my real bread and Nutella. In all of his POVs ( that I've read) he's focused on her appearance, which is a great triumph for chubby girls around the world, don't get me wrong, but he doesn't seem to care about her otherwise. Does he love the way she eats certain things? Does he have a secret penchant for swords and suits of armor? I understand he doesn't like romance novels but is he the type of character who would read one so they'd have something to talk about (kinda like in RED).

The pacing was good but it wouldn't hurt to slow it down a little in order to flesh out the background and the characters.

I love your writing style! It flows very well, and you have excellent transitions! I didn't notice any punctuation mistakes, but then again, I don't really have a good grasp on grammar. There were tiny typos, but nothing major that good proofreading by another person wouldn't fix. Sometimes, a writer can be blind to things like that because they know what they meant to say.

Hmm, would I read more? Definitely! You have a lot of potential!

~Dandi

I have to say from the very beginning I really loved this book and it definitely really drew me in. Flecks' character is so great and I love she isn't the typical petite skinny shy girl, but a curvy confident one who isn't afraid to say what she thinks. It really gets boring reading the same typical stereotype of the female character and it's nice to read about a girl who is comfortable just the way she is and isn't afraid to put the guy in his place. I really enjoyed Grayden's character as well, but I kept reading to see how she would act and respond to him. The writer also did really well with the overall content. The story had a great flow, always keeping me interested, and dying to know what was gonna happen between the two. I think as well as plot and characters, the grammar and overall writing style of this writer is very well thought out. I can't wait to check out some of this writer other works as well.

~Megan

So first let me start by saying I enjoyed this book. I admit it frustrated me that Fleck lacked confidence in her appearance but if I'm being honest with myself I went through something similar when I gained weight. That ex of hers seemed hell-bent on making her feel like shit even when they were no longer dating.

That struck me as odd behavior because it seems more the action of a mean girl than an ex-boyfriend but I got to thinking maybe he had his own issues and lowering her self esteem made him feel better about himself.

That theory was validated when they meet for a second time and he's again with someone beneath her. I do appreciate the fiancé way of handling that second interaction. There's a strength there that I like.

I would have liked to see her see herself the way that he did but I think she was getting there and in reality, it takes a while and even when you do you don't.

This was an enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing it.

~Catherine

So I read the whole thing and I admit to having mixed feelings about it. I liked Fleck quite a bit and was happy to see that you used a plus sized woman as your MC. It was a breath of fresh air compared to all the people with bodies like models I have seen. Though admittedly, throughout the whole thing I was a bit confused as to why she needed a bodyguard in the first place. Like, I get that it was a precaution, but maybe if you had established at the beginning that her family had enemies or something like that. Also, I would've liked to see Gray do more actual bodyguarding than he did. Admittedly I am not sure how I feel about Fleck and Gray's relationship. I could definitely tell that the attraction was there, but I was missing the emotional connection between them. As far as I could tell, the attraction between them was mainly physical. There were a few glimpses of something other than physical attraction, and I would've liked if you expanded on those more. While I liked Fleck, I am not entirely sure if I liked Gray all that much. He seemed possessive, aggressive, and not very loving. Honestly, when I got to the end I was truly surprised when they ended up getting together because of all the fights that they had up until the very end. As far as the actual writing goes, it was pretty good, I was able to follow it just fine and didn't struggle with the grammar. So yeah, overall it was decent. Glad I read it, though it did have its problems. My apologies if this review was harsh, I am writing it on a lack of sleep.

~Medula

You have a really great solid foundation to this story. The book flows nicely and the descriptions to the chapters are great. But there are a few things you need to address.

You have major grammatical errors that don't necessarily disrupt the flow of reading every time, but sometimes it does.

Proofread for punctuation mistakes. You have a lot of run-on sentences. Sentences that don't have periods instead of commas, and continue almost into a complete paragraph. When you have a character speak in the middle of a paragraph you don't have quotations around what they are saying.

Also, some of your paragraphs could be broken up into two different paragraphs. In a few, there are two or three completely different points you are trying to get across all rolled into one half page paragraph. It would help the readers flow if you broke them up.

Watch out for changing tense. I noticed in several chapters you would start out in the first person then switch to she and her. Even when yours still in the main female characters POV.

I'm going to leave you with the same advice a few people gave me on my own book, look into getting an editor!

Keep it up, and I hope this helps!

Callie

This book is wonderfully played out. I love the back and forth displayed causing hesitation on both their parts, yet both feeling the sparks and chemistry every time they share a look or touch!!! The sex scenes are hot even though he doesn't stick around after leaving her feeling so unsure of everything!!!

I did notice quite a few spelling errors and a few extra words here and there but nothing that can't be fixed with good editing.

Personally, I love the story very well written. Best of luck in all you do.

XOXO,

Nikki Kyss

I read seven chapters and skimmed over a few more. The blurb gave a good idea of what the book is about, and it was what I expected. I loved your female lead. I haven't read anything about a plus-size girl before. He, of course, Mr. tall, dark, and handsome – what's not to like? You wrote them well, they're relatable characters. Overall, it's an enjoyable story.

It was a little hard to read, though. There were grammar issues, like switching between tenses, a lot of repetitive words, and missing commas that took away from the flow. There were a lot of run-on-sentences that could be cut shorter. And some paragraphs were too long for my liking as well. I think there were too many POV changes throughout a chapter. And at some point, you even wrote about his feelings in her POV, something that's impossible for her to know.

I wasn't sure about all the details of the plot. Why exactly does Fleck need a bodyguard? What contract is that, and why would she be in danger?

I'm not sure if that was intended, but when we met Reese, I was at once suspicious of him. Like I knew this guy was gonna be trouble. Which added to the feeling of predictability of the plot.

While I loved the chemistry between Fleck and Gray, and their little moments, it seemed to drag on for a little too long. As they were both instantly attracted to each other, it got a little too frustrating at some point, but again, maybe that was intentional? I get that Gray was reluctant as this was his job, and she was questioning herself, something that made them more likable. I could definitely relate to her. The story needs some editing, but good job overall.

~Lilly

Let's start with an overall appreciation: This is a really good book, good flow, good descriptions of emotions, and really nice intimate scenes. Your two MCs played a big role in my appreciation. I loved the fact your female lead is plus-size and that she must struggle with her insecurities. It's sad but relatable. You could have made Gray a bit less aggressive but I guess it goes with the bodyguard job.

It felt good to be in the male MC's shoes for once, and I liked the 'forbidden' aspect of their relationship. It added nice, enjoyable tension. One thing: I would have gone with 3rd POV in your case because you switch a lot between POVs inside the same chapter. I don't mind it at all, but others would. Having said that, I understand how big of a hassle it would be to change the whole thing.

There were a bit too many typos to my taste, and it made sometimes reading difficult, as well as too long paragraphs, but after you fix that, it will be really good!

~Lila