brace onto your seat belts. it's gonna be a long night ;)

she slammed the door shut as she entered her room. she slide her back onto the door and closed her eyes while the tears kept streaming down her face. the four corners of the wall filled by her loud sobs.

so after all this time, she never replaced me. she just needed temporary escape but i assumed, and we both got broken. i moved on. but i didn't know while i was on the process, i hurt her too.

"i'm so stupid." i say to myself as i inhaled, catching my breath. "i though she replaced me—but i was wrong. so–so stupid." i kept saying this to myself.

i thought that if i moved on things would get better, but it became worse. but no matter the multitude 'sorry's', it doesn't change a thing. the damage has been done.

i stood up to look at myself on the mirror. i look pathetic, vulnerable, ugly. i look stupid.

"you fucked yourself so bad, jennie kim." i chuckled as i wiped a tear falling on my cheek. "you finally know the answer to your number one question. you should be happy." i say sarcastically to myself as i sniffled and laid on the bed. "so pathetic."

i looked at the ceiling above me and sighed. today was so tiring that i want to sleep and never wake up. things like what-if's and could have's went straight inside my head like a bullet, making me hurt more and be filled with regrets. my heart feels like being shot with daggers and i can't breath as normal as i would.

'you deserve this, jennie.'

and my other mind spoke, 'she didn't know what really happened, she's just a victim here.'

'but i hurt her too. and i can't accept that.'

i cried for the rest of the day.

i rubbed my swollen eyes and opened them, being greeted by nothing but darkness and silence. my head throbbed as i stood up and stretched my arms, feeling so exhausted and hungry.

i didn't checked myself on the mirror because i don't care how i look, i just want to eat and sleep again.

but little do i know.

i opened the lights on the living room and i squinted my eyes, adjusting to the light. "huh," i uttered. no noise nor a soul's presence. just me.

i shrugged it off and went inside the kitchen, taking a pitcher of cold water and pouring onto my cup and drinking it thirstily.

i am totally hungry but there are no much energy left in me so i just cooked ramen. i took the kimchi from the fridge and ate it with the ramen.

once i finished, i drank another glass of water and headed out to the living room, to watch whatever shows on the tv.

but before before anything else, i called my favorite person.

"lalisa?"

i entered lisa's room to find nothing but darkness. her room felt cold that it feels like no one has been there for ages. where could she be?

i went back to the living room and sat on the couch, changing from different channels but i find nothing interesting so i just turned it off.

i sighed.

"even you lili?" i whispered to myself.

being without lisa is really really lonely. i frowned.

'11:39', the clock read.

so i've slept for six hours? that long?

but the real question is, where the heck is lalisa manoban?

i got worried so i started to call her, but i she didn't accept nor replied to my texts. she just seens them. ouch.

to: monkey lisa

from: jennini

'hey? where the heck are you?'

seen

to: monkey lisa

from: jennini

'why aren't you replying? busy flirting with momo?

seen

to: monkey lisa

from: jennini

'reply manoban for christ's sake!'

seen

to: monkey lisa

from: jennini

'you'll get a beating if you go home'

seen

to: monkey lisa

from: jennini

'i'm worried about you!'

seen

jennie anticipates for a reply, and she bites her lip when she sees the three-dots, indicating that lisa is replying.

from: monkey lisa

to: jennini

'fuck off'

from: monkey lisa

to: jennini

'you don't care about me anyway'

jennie just looked at the screen with gawking eyes. unbelievable.

"fine!" she huffs and closes her phone, too exhausted to argue with her.

she just slept it away again.

i groaned as i heard the loud ringing sounds from my phone. i took a pillow beside me and covered my ears, to block the annoying noise, but to no avail.

"what the fuck do you want?" i yelled furiously. "are you ms. jennini?" the person on the other line asked, the voice barely familiar to me. i furrow my brows. "how the fuck do you know my name? and why the fuck do you have lisa's phone?" i asked, cursing while at it. "what the fuck did you do to her?" i ask wth a booming voice, rising up.

"i'm sorry to disturb but you were the most recent caller from ms. p-priya's phone. and i'm here to inform you that she's drunk and please pick her up because she's starting to make a scene here."

"where's the location?"

-

"woah! jennie kim!" lisa welcomed her with her tipsy state, shouting her name through the crowd when she spotted her. "i didn't know you'd come!" lisa laughs.

jennie rolls her puffed eyes and gives her a death glare, only to be returned by a kiss on the cheeks. "i've missed you."

"what nonsense are you talking about." jennie says as she tried not to get worried and more annoyed. "we're going home, whether you like it or not."

jennie tried to drag lisa but she failed. lisa gives her a 'stop' sign. "wait wait jennie kim–" she slurred and laughs. "why are we going home if there is no 'we'?" she laughs again and lazily pats jennie. jennie frowns.

"ugh lisa, let's just go home." jennie pulls lisa's arms but lisa just chuckles, swatting her arms away from jennie. the brunette looks at her in disbelief. "manoban!" jennie shouted with all her frustrations.

lisa drank the beverage before looking at jennie's with her sad and serious look. mixed emotions and an unreadable expression was all jennie could see. a small portion of the lisa she knows, and majority she doesn't. jennie gulped nervously whilst lisa approaches her near, their faces inches from each other.

jennie closes her eyes without really knowing why. maybe she was expecting for someone's lips on hers.

but instead,

"we'll only go home if you kiss me." lisa's whispers with a hint of seductiveness. and she bites jennie's earlobe and went back to her seat.

jennie shivers and gulps, caught off guard by the blond's sudden actions.

her mind was spinning and her heart was beating so fast that she completely forgot her state a while back. that is what lisa can do to you. she makes you forget the bad things and gives you a good time.

but what did jennie gave her? a heart break.

jennie gives up and slumped on the seat next to the blonde, drinking the whole bottle in front of her. she checks at lisa and saw that her eyes were in shock. jennie smirks at her and lisa calms down, mirroring her smirk.

"that's a strange drink jennie. you are so blunt." lisa chuckles and drinks more. jennie furrows her brows. what strange drink?

suddenly she felt hot, as if the temperature dropped down. she starts to fan herself from the hotness she is receiving. is it only her who feels this?

she shrugged it off and shakes lisa. "bitch we better get going." she feels dizzy but she have not drink a lot yet. maybe i'm just exhausted.

"who are you to order me what to do? i'm done following you jennie, i'm not yours." because you will only be just my friend.

"ugh stop the nonsense lalisa. let's just go home." jennie pulls her again but it was no use.

"how come you act normal when you've been hiding a lot of things from me? i know now everything jennie. you can't hide forever."

jennie was confusion. "what the fuck are you talking about?"

"i thought that i can be yours. i'm just being delusional." lisa laughs bitterly and drinks the beer. "so stupid to believe that you like me too."

jennie was speechless. she doesn't know what to say. lisa—likes her? but for how long? why? who would have thought—

lisa chuckles when she saw that jennie's speechless. she takes her by the hand and guides her to the parking lot.

"so dense." she mumbles and opened the door for her to enter the shotgun seat.

lisa sits on the driver's seat and showed her palms to jennie. the other furrows her brows in confusion but lisa just laughs. "the damn keys ms. kim."

jennie's eyes turned a shade darker. she smirks and bites her lip. she somehow finds lisa's horse voice—sexy.

the blonde was caught off guard when the brunettes straddles her lap on the driver's seat, slightly grinding herself to her. "what a-re you doing?" lisa asks as she suppresses a groan. jennie smirked and buried her face in lisa's neck.

"we have to go—home."

jennie is stubborn.

"but we can't go home without the car keys right?" she asks and bites her lip seductively. lisa gulps but she shakes it off. "and it's with you. give it."

jennie smirks and places her hands around lisa's neck. "it's in my back pocket. take it." she orders with an authoritative tone as she rubs her hands on lisa's neck, giving shivers to the blonde.

lisa was hesitant at first but she wanted to go home already, and is done with jennie's game. she fishes her hand inside jennie's back pocket—jennie moans.

jennie uncontrollably kissed lisa's neck which the blonde reacted with a moan. she can't control herself anymore.

lisa held jennie's waist as jennie gives wet kisses onto her neck, providing pleasure to the both of them. she roamed her hands around jennie's body, sometimes cupping her ass that earns moans from the brunette's luscious lips .

lisa tilts her head for more access as jennie bites her neck, making purple bruises. "uh,"

they looked into each other's eyes with lust, their lips against each other, tasting the strawberry and beer from each other's lips which danced in sync, fighting for dominance but no one won. lisa can't believe she's kissing jennie. the only one she loves. but does she love her?

with that thought, lisa stops her movements and breaks the kiss, earning a groan from the brunette.

"jennie," she says breathlessly.

jennie hums in annoyance.

"you know i like you right?" a tear escaped her eyes. "that i like you so much." she bites her lip.

"do you feel the same way too?"

/

(heyyyy, thanks again for supporting this book! i love y'all

i feel really sad for jennie TT.

Like why the fuck do they hate her?

she posted but she looks so sad ))):

)