i gulped nervously as i descended my steps towards the living room, having to discuss a 'family' meeting. my nose was scrunched when i saw my parents' weird expression, somewhat between infuriation and disappointment. i don't know what we are going to talk about but i don't think it'll end well.

i sat on the couch beside alice-unnie, who clearly doesn't know what's going on as well. but she managed to pull out the same weird faces my parents' were showing to us, which i can't clearly copy and understand.

"roseanne," the tone of my mother was firm and calm at the same time that gave me goosebumps. whenever she says my full name, it's either because i did something wrong or i did something that isn't right.

"y-yes eomma?" i asked, slightly trembling. i looked onto her eyes for a second, giving me the chills and i can sew in my peripheral vision that my father is looking the same. i checked my flip flops instead to calm my nerves.

"yah, stop scaring her. just get to the point already," alice said with a hint of annoyance. she was actually saving rośe's ass. rośe gave her unnie a thankful look, before looking at her parents again.

"what are we going to ask, dear?" her mother asks as she faced his husband, giving a fake smile as she brushed her hands on his. his father turned at her youngest daughter and said, "we saw you playing on the rain a while back. how was it?"

confused chaeyoung furrowed her brows. she was completely and utterly perplexed with her parents' words and actions. her thoughts were halted by alice. "what kind of 'family meeting' is this?" and a groan.

"dear, get straight to the point." her mother squeezes his hand before speaking again. "you were with kim jennie, weren't you?"

chaeyoung furrowed her brows even more, what could possibly be the reason jennie is brought into their topic? what could have their parents seen from them when they were on the rain?

she recalls the events from a few hours, focusing on every step they did, trying to find something that can probably lead into this kind of conversation.

jennie goes onto the rain and she gets soaked, calling her to get in but instead she pulls me with her and i just watch her in awe as she plays there like a child with her cute gummy smile. and then i called her, tells her how much she means to me, and then we kissed, and then we...

never in her life roseanne had felt her heart coming out from her ribcage (not including when she's with her lover), not until now. in a situation wherein she can never escape, nor can she lie.

"y-yes. i-i was with h-her."

"was it just my eyes or did i see you and ms. kim having an intimate moment on the rain?"

those words rang through chaeyoung's ears as she gulps, eyes twitching, lips moving but she couldn't utter a single word. her palms were sweating while her fingers were the ones only moving, and her body stiff.

she wanted to run away, to sink in her seat or just disappear, but whatever she thinks will never come true. she's trapped in between these four-walls of their cream-colored house, with her family members staring at her judgmentally while waiting for an answer.

all she planned with her, are they gonna happen? will everything still be normal after her parents knows what is really in between them?

"w-what nonsense is t-that?" she tries to snort. "j-jenjen a-and i-i are j-just f-riends." i know it didn't sound so convincing, but i did my best. it hurts to lie, to cover the true relationship with the love of your life but i had to.

i bit my lip as i tried to stop the tears from coming out. i have to stay strong. and wished the interrogation would stop.

but it didn't.

"i heard from your friends that you are dating someone. care to tell me who?"

my parents weren't nosy with my love life, as long as i'm doing good with my studies, they let me pass. but not right now when they're suspicious about me.

"c'mon, when were you interested in our love lives?" alice-unnie butts in but is only given a glare from my dad. thanks for trying to save me, unnie.

"y-yes i do. but i won't drop the name yet," i say in a calm manner as i laugh lightly, lightening the atmosphere. but it didn't.

one look and it made me did something i know i'll regret.

"f-fine! i'm dating d-david from the soccer team. f-for months already." i lied.

the elders of the park's looked at each other, having a conversation just by looking at each other.

alice pats chaeyoung's shoulder and asks, "are you okay?"

'no i'm not'

"i'm fine."

their parents' looked at their youngest daughter and smiled. "very well then. we would like to have a family dinner with his family, to get to know each other." then they gave their wide smiles.

chaeyoung weakly smiled. "yeah, i guess he'll be thrilled to meet you guys." lies. pure lies.

"uhm, are we done now? baby rosie looks so tired she might pass out." alice said with a little tease. "we're done right?"

"of course dear. get to sleep. and goodnight."

rośe didn't even waited for those words to finish as she ascended her steps to her room. locking it and pouring the tears she's been wanting to release, and sobbed quietly.

"i'm sorry. i'm so sorry that i couldn't fight for you." for us.

jennie kept her composure but her tears weren't stopping. rośe sniffles, attempting to hold jennie's trembling hands but she just swat it away. "you could've–told me–before breaking u-up with me." her voice cracked. "and at that time i would've understood you. i wouldn't have to hate myself for that. wondering what have i done for us to separate like this."

"i-i'm sorry jenjen. i really do." that's all rośe could say. she weren't on the right mind that time, she didn't want to hurt her further. everything that happened in the past was something she wasn't prepared for. she wasn't ready to tell her parents who she really was, she was scared, and jennie was there to witness it all.

"so if you just told me the truth, i could have waited for you you know. waited for you until you were ready..."

silence.

"jenjen?" the faint voice of rośe made jennie look up and face her.

"do you still love me?"

"uh," i groaned lowly as i jumped out of the wall. my hands landed on the hard ground instead of my butt. i stood up and fixed my wrinkled shirt as i looked around.

"what the fuck just happened."

i looked from afar as the two laughed loudly, clutching their stomach's from laughing. "since when did they became close?"

when they started walking, i followed them secretly, conscious of my every move. they were in their little world that they didn't even noticed me tripping because of a banana peel.

they went inside a cafe.

i hid behind a tree and waited for a minute before going in the cafe as well.

they were in the far end corner, i also went there and sat behind jennie. they didn't know that their conversation was earshot.

"does lisa know?" chaeyoungie asked jennie and i furrowed my brows. what do i know?

i know it's bad to eavesdrop but my curiosity is really killing me, whatever i know or not is what i want to know.

i was in confusion. a lot of thoughts were running in my head as i remembered those events before. how jennie flinched when they accidentally brushed their fingers, how jennie acts whenever we were with them, and how vulnerable she was after chaeyoung sang a song.

they were ex-lovers?

i couldn't help myself but to cry. they were in love, and it all stopped because of chaeyoung's confrontation. and if chaeyoung fought for her, for them, then they would still be together, then i wouldn't be able to meet jennie.

i don't know what to feel. i am too confused and furious at the same time. i understood jennie wasn't still ready, but chaeyoung? i'm her best friend and she should have told me everything, even before i met jennie. and i'm disappointed at her, that she couldn't fight for jennie. for the one she loves.

i wiped the tears on my cheeks and bit my lip for it to stop coming out. i listened again.

"do you still love me?"

and with that answer, i left. without looking back.

/

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