《When We're Older- The Maze Runner (Newt)》seperation anxiety
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Running seemed like a normal thing for us now. Something we would never escape. A deed that would always find a way to catch up with us, no matter how safe we were.
I used to love the feeling of running. The wind flowing through my hair while my legs worked by themselves to get me to where I wanted. It used to feel like I was flying. Despite having asthma, getting exercise was something that I looked forward to. When there was simply nothing to run from. Now that we are basically the prey of a much larger, scarier, and more organized predator, I can't enjoy the feeling as much as I used to. Every time I move my legs, it's either running away from some sort of natural disaster, or from the guards that attempted to capture us with every chance they got. Sometimes I wondered why they didn't just get over it and get new test subjects, but whenever the thought seemed to cross my mind, I remembered that video that we watched the day we escaped the Maze.
The day everything started to fall to pieces. It's funny how you don't realize what you're doing until you've done it. We thought that life outside of the Maze was going to be better than it had been while we were invaded by the four concrete walls. But the truth is, they're about equal. The sun flares—or whatever that woman called it—reminded me of the start of the end of the world. How many lives were lost. And then, the Flare. The disease created these disgusting creatures...almost like zombies. I hated them more than I think I've hated anything in my life. Besides WICKED. Those creatures have been the stars of my nightmares and my daydreaming, making me so paranoid to the point where I sometimes have to look over my shoulder to assure myself that we were safe for the time being.
It's torture.
The same thing goes for WICKED. Sometimes, I can still feel where the needles penetrated my skin, and the harsh stinging sensation that I couldn't get rid of even if I tried. It was almost like an itch that I couldn't scratch.
But every time I think that we might've escaped their grasp, they show up again. Proving me wrong.
And that's what I felt as my friends and I ran up a flight of stairs to the room where we had previously met Jorge, the person who seemed like he was going to get us out of here. The sound of a strange song echoed throughout the whole building, making Brenda run faster towards her mentor.
Newt had his hand on my back, pushing me along as though I would freeze up again at any moment. Little did he know that I wanted to get away from this place more than anything.
"Brenda! Hurry!" Jorge suddenly appeared at the top of the flight of stairs, holding a large brown sack over his right shoulder. He ushered us forward, turning around and shouting words of haste at all of us. He turned a corner and stopped at a large set of windows that strangely looked blurred. I furrowed my eyebrows as he placed his hands on the glass, and the windows flung open.
"Right this way!" He shouted back at us. He moved back, allowing us to finally get a good look at what laid ahead.
"Oh, you gotta be kidding me." Frypan muttered as he looked out at the crumbling building that obscured our view. The clouds that loomed ahead were now dark, making it hard to believe that we would make it to the other side without getting struck by lightning. A large line connected from the top of the room we were in, all the way to the building in front of us.
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But the drop was what scared me. There was nothing below us but concrete. What he was basically asking us to do was a suicide mission. Swing all the way to the other side without letting go or slipping? Forget running, this seemed like the scariest thing I was going to have to do in my life.
"Plan B, Hermano." Jorge breathed, yanking something that looked like a harness from the ceiling. "You kids wanna get to the Right Arm? I'll lead you to them."
I turned my gaze to him as I felt a squeeze on my hand. Newt stood next to me, our fingers intertwined like they were molded together. I could see the fear in his eyes as he looked out at the journey that laid just beyond the window that Jorge had opened. I squeezed his hand back, doing the little that I could to comfort him and let him know that I was here as well.
Jorge kept talking, "But you're gonna have to owe me." We all stared, motionless and unable to form a word as we watched him wrap the harness tightly around his arm, taking a few steps back. "Follow me!"
He shouted the two words before he began to sprint and throw himself off the building. We all watched as he began to float in the air, zip-lining down the wire that was attached to the harness. I stared in awe at how he could do that so easily...without a second of hesitation.
"Alright!" Brenda's voice brought us all out of our trance. "Let's go!"
She yanked another harness from the ceiling as Thomas suddenly shook his head and pushed on Minho's back. "Go, go, go!" He yelled at him.
The spiky-haired boy turned around to glance at me, his eyes showing nothing but fear as he stepped forward and gripped the rope. Thomas yelled something at Aris, but Newt and I were too focused on watching Minho as he let out a grunt of emotion, forcing his legs to move as he started to sprint out of the window just like Jorge did. He flew out into the air, and we both took a step forward as we watched our friend disappear into the darkness, left with nothing but to hope that he made it to the other side.
"Newt!" Thomas yelled, pulling him away from me and shoving another harness into his hands.
"What?" The boy frantically darted his eyes over to me, pushing the rope out of the way as I moved towards him, "Mae, you go first."
"No." I protested, "I'll be right behind you. I...I need to make sure everyone gets on first."
He slumped his shoulders as another helpless whine left his lips, "Please, just—"
"We're wasting time! Someone go!" Brenda shouted at the two of us. I turned my head back towards Newt and his eyes which held nothing but anxiety behind them. I knew he was scared of jumping from this height with nothing but a simple rope to hold him up, hell I'm freaking out a bit too. But it was something that both of us had to do once again. We had overcome so much fear with each other—this was just going to be another thing added to the list.
I nodded at him, hoping that it was sincere enough to show him that I would get on as soon as he started to run towards the window.
"Hurry." Was all he whispered before leaning back and breaking out into as fast as a run that he could with his bum leg. I watched as he squeezed the rope tighter when his feet left the floor, and I kept my eyes on the boy I cared so much about as he ascended into the air, swinging down to where the rest of our friends were. Once I couldn't see him anymore, I averted my eyes, stepping back and hoping to get the next harness. Instead, Thomas was already handing one to Teresa, who was already gripping on for dear life.
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I furrowed my eyebrows as Thomas told her to go. But the girl wasn't moving.
"What are you doing?" I shouted at her, "Go!"
Thomas suddenly turned around, something from behind him had caught his eye. I followed my eyes to where he was looking and noticed Brenda run off, a grunt escaping her lips before Thomas shouted at her.
"Brenda, where you going?" The girl didn't respond as she ran further into the room, searching through drawers for something that she had missed while she was packing. I stood there, frozen as Thomas turned back to Teresa.
"Just go, I'm right behind you." He muttered before pushing the girl's back so that she had a little more momentum on her ride to where everyone was.
When I swiveled my head around again, Thomas was sprinting in the direction of where Brenda had gone. My eyes darted in every direction, unsure of what to do. Do I grab a harness and swing myself to possible safety? Or do I make sure my friends get on first? Like normal, I choose the one that would benefit others, never myself.
"Thomas!" I shouted as I started to run in the same direction that he had. I swerved myself around the tables full of junk, and made my way to the back of the room, almost crashing into the boy as he shouted towards Brenda, who was shuffling through the drawers.
"Branda, come on! What're you doing?" He shouted at her, a hand held out to usher her towards him.
The girl acted as though she couldn't hear us while she rummaged through the drawer, throwing things over her shoulder. She groaned as she slammed one shut, immediately opening another.
I turned my head towards the other side of the room, where the harnesses stayed hanging in the air, waiting for us to grab hold and swing ourselves to safety. But the time was running out. Newt and all of my other friends were on the other side, probably waiting to see our bodies as we flew through the air. They were sitting ducks as we shook in our spots, delaying the inevitable once more. I hated doing that.
"We gotta go!" I screamed at her as I snapped myself back into reality. Just as the words left my mouth, Brenda snatched something from the drawer, turning back around and waving it in front of our faces.
"I got it." She murmured as Thomas grabbed her elbow and dragged her forward another step. It was like I was moving on autopilot at the moment, waiting for something to block our path as the haunting song echoed through my ears, sending every hair on the back of my neck to feel alive once more.
The three of us turned around but immediately stopped in our tracks as we saw the black gear of each WICKED soldier—armed as they stepped into the room. My heart leaped into my throat as they moved towards the open window, curiously looking down at the drop that our friends had swung over. Now they were keeping us from getting to them. Keeping me from getting back to Newt.
"Shit." Thomas didn't hold back his anxiety about the situation. Just as I felt the walls caving in on me, making this room ten times smaller than it was, Brenda yanked her arm from Thomas' grasp and reached for the gun in her holster. Before I could even blink, she had it pointed towards one of the guards, and she pulled the trigger.
Shots rang out as some hit the metal poles, some hitting what they were actually aimed at. Thomas—being the protective boy he is—reached out and pulled me behind his body. All of this just seemed like a rollercoaster as my eyes darted from one shadow of darkness to another as they hid behind a wall on the other side of the room. My breath hitched as a bead of sweat rolled down my forehead. Now where do we go?
"Move! Go!" Branda shouted at us as she began to shuffle backwards. Thomas pushed me along, making my body lead the way. I turned around to a random door, sprinting through it as more shots rang through my head, coming dangerously close every single time. I jumped down the stairs as Brenda moved in front of me, ducking her head below the broken windows.
I had no idea where we were going. Running blind once again, just like we had been doing in the Maze. But right now Grievers sounded better than the unknown. I wheezed for breath as Brenda yelled over her shoulder again at Thomas and me as we moved on adrenaline and fear, only following a girl that we had met not even an hour ago. The boy looked over his shoulder, and I didn't have the heart to tell him to keep moving forward, as I couldn't form a proper thought.
Everything was happening in bursts of pictures. One moment I was sprinting down the stairs, the next I was hyperventilating as I watched the WICKED guards close in on the three of us.
"Here!" Brenda turned right. "Follow me!" I looked to see what hallway she was turning down now, but when I didn't see a hallway, I furrowed my eyes in confusion. The girl had done another act of desperation—she was running across a thick metal beam, hoping to make it to the other side. Of what? I didn't know.
"Go, Mae!" Thomas shouted at me as his eyes were glued on a WICKED soldier slowly walking down the staircase. I grunted and took a step forward, my legs immediately starting to wobble as I held both of my arms out for balance. My heartbeat was in every inch of my body, which somehow felt numb, but so alive all at once. I didn't look back to see if Thomas was following, in fear that I would lose my balance and go plummeting to a harsh and painful death. Instead, I kept my eyes on the beam in front of me, whilst trying my best to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth at the same time. I needed to hang onto anything that would keep me grounded at this time of anticipation.
The sounds of the heavy footsteps to my right and left were the only thing that kept me from realizing that this wasn't a dream, and I wasn't balancing between the stages of life and death. They were muttering words to each other, voices muffled through the heavy masks that they probably didn't need. The only thing that made me suddenly stop in my tracks was the whirring of the same weapon that I'd been hearing all night.
I turned around, only to see Thomas do the same as he stared in the eyes of a single WICKED guard, his gun pointed straight at the boy's chest.
"Kid, don't move!" He shouted at him, trying to make it easier so that he wouldn't have to shoot Thomas and possibly endanger his life.
"Brenda!" He shouted, unsure of where to go now. "Where we going?"
I turned my head, looking back at the girl who had finally reached the other side. She was panting as she pulled her leg over the bar, exhaustion pouring over her entire demeanor. "Hurry! The song's almost over!"
Shaking my head at the girl and her strange words of warning, I turned my body back towards her and began walking faster along the metal beam, my eyes never leaving my own feet. My breath hitched in my throat with every inhale, and I knew that I was on the verge of an asthma attack if we didn't get somewhere safe within the next five minutes. But who was I to think that we might actually make it through.
Never hope, just keep running.
Just as I reached the other side, a loud explosion sounded behind me. I lurched forward, my face smashing into the metal. But I didn't have time to wallow in my pain, as my name was being shouted from Thomas, who was beginning to lose his balance about a foot away from me.
"Mae!" He shouted, his hand held out for me to help him. I quickly grasped it and yanked his arm forward so that he was now hanging onto the metal bar as well. He swung his leg over, while I went under, saving as much energy as I possibly could. My cheekbone ached with every breath that I tried to take, and there was no doubt in my mind that it would bruise if it hadn't started to already.
I turned around, wondering where the explosion had come from. But when I saw the fire start to disappear, and dissolve into smoke, my face dropped as well as my heart. Thomas and I were both frozen as we waited to see what would happen. The explosion came out of nowhere, but we've both learned to accept that now. Half of our problems had been brought onto us without any warning. Just like the start of our lives. Or...what we remember of them at least.
We had accepted to expect the unexpected. Which is exactly what had happened when we heard a sound that was strangely familiar. The groaning of metal echoed throughout the building, followed by a loud crash. I flinched at the sound, wanting to cover my ears, but not being able to move a muscle. My mind wandered from what Newt was doing, to where we were going to go, to if I was going to make it out of this warehouse alive. I couldn't grasp one thing as I watched the celling of the building slowly fall down.
"Come on!" Brenda called to both of us as we began shuffling backwards. Thomas snapped out of his trance before I did, because he was suddenly shoving my shoulder and turning me around to run faster. I blinked, the reality suddenly setting in that the floor was falling beneath us as it tilted to the side, acting as though we were on some type of ride as we sprinted towards the two ropes at the end of the path.
Thomas looked back for a fraction of a second, his legs never stopping. The crashing of metal seemed to grow louder behind us, and that only fueled my adrenaline as Brenda yelled for us to jump. With one loud grunt, I leapt forward, wrapping my hand around the black rope and sliding down as quickly as I could. My hands were barely hanging on as I lifted my head and saw Thomas jump after, grabbing onto the same rope as I did. My feet suddenly hit the concrete, and I lurched my body forward, feeling the hard floor connect with my body as I fell. Immediately, I turned my body around to see both Brenda and Thomas looking at the ceiling above them.
"Hey!" I screamed to get their attention. Brenda looked down at me, then back at Thomas, grabbing a fistful of his jacket and throwing his body as well as her own onto the floor that I was on as well. Thomas scrambled to his knees and moved a couple inches closer to me, placing his arm around my head as the three of us tried to protect ourselves from the falling debris that rained down.
We stayed like that, eyes shut as the crashing became only a crumble of concrete behind us. I coughed in the dust, which never turned out well. My body jolted up, being met with nothing but darkness as I threw Thomas' arm off of me. I scooted back on my butt, a hand around my neck as I began to wheeze, the familiar feeling of the attack still being the thing that scared me more than anything else. I couldn't see. I couldn't breathe. The only thing that was going through my mind right now was the ringing of my ears and the same phrase I repeated in my head every single day.
"Oh shit." I heard Thomas' voice—no more than a muffle—as I struggled for breath. I closed my eyes, as though the room around me wasn't already dark. "Hey...Mae."
He coughed as well. I felt a hand being placed on my shoulder, and only then did I open my eyes to see the faint glow of the boy's face in the fluorescent light coming from the tool Brenda was holding as she brought herself to her knees.
"Hey, Mae." He cleared his throat, trying to use the softest voice he could in this moment. I hadn't had a serious asthma attack in a while...probably since we were attacked by Ben. That was the only time he witnessed me be completely scared shitless, besides that one time where we had escaped the clutches of the Maze and found the way out. Since then, I had been able to stop them before they got too bad. Now, I was without Newt, in a room full of dust, with no clue whether I would make it out of this place, or whether we would be trapped here for the rest of our miserable lives. Needless to say, my anxiety was on a high right now.
I shook my head, trying to get Thomas to understand that this wasn't one of the ones that I could fix by myself.
He nodded, "Shit...Mae just breathe—what's that thing that Newt always tells you? Dammit...I'm no good at this..."
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