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First off, I'm sorry I haven't updated in a loooonnnnggg time. I haven't updated because I have two huge projects to do that I'm still not done yet. I have to do my science fair project and this thing in geography. Also, i update my fanfiction on my iPod so the worse happenned. I lost my iPod for almost a week and i finally found it like 3 days ago and now that I found time, I'm updating. So ya that's why I haven't been updating.

I'm soooo sorry about the last chapter I posted :( I updated my fanfiction with my iPod so it kind of made it messed up , but now I'm all good thanks too @in_spiration for pointing it out to me :)

AND OMG MY GOAL WAS 200 READS BY THE END OF MAY AND YOU GUYS GOT ME OVER 200 READS WHEN IT WASNT EVEN THE END OF APRIL !! I SHOULDN'T HAVE UNDER ESTIMATED YOU GUYS :)

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*Zayn POV*

I pulled the blanket off of my head and cringed at the sunlight. Then I realized that I was spooning Camila. Awkward ....

Oh my god ! I thought while remembering the events that took place last night.Oh ... The kiss ,that... That was amazing. Even though she thought I was sleep kissing. Damn I'm sneaky.

Than I looked down, remembering that I was still in that position with her, oh well, its nothing bad. I stroked her hair out of her face as she turned over and our faces were face to face. Except she was asleep.

She was still asleep and I couldn't get the kiss out of my head. I wanted to kiss her again . You know what this means........

Pay back time.

I crashed my lips against hers and

did exactly what she did. She eventually kissed me back. This time , she was actually sleep kissing me unlike me when I pretending I was sleep kissing.

The kiss lasted 30 seconds because it was morning anyways so I didn't want her waking up with the of feeling my lips on hers. Well judging from how much she likes me, she would probably enjoy it. Although, it would still be awkward for both of us.

About 5 minutes after the pay back, her eyes started to open. Just like me , she cringed when she saw the sunlight.

Than she looked at me and sort of dozed off on my face. As she was staring at me , her emotions kept changing. At first she just looked like herself that had just woken up. Than she looked a little confused and finally, I couldn't really tell what emotions came. Oh.. She probably remembered what she did to me last night. How she kind of .....raped me in a way. But I guess it's not rape cuz I kind of enjoyed it.

I tried to make it seem like I wasn't aware of what she did to me so I smiled a great big smile.

"Good morning Cam !" I shouted

"Umm good go-od morning.." she said as she stuttered.

"How did you sleep last night?" I said to tease her

"Ummm... Pretty good , I'm going to go and umm freshen up in..the washroom." she said awkwardly as she took the blanket off of her and ran off to the washroom.

I wonder what her journal will be about tonight because I want to know what she felt from the kiss and what her intentions were. I know I liked the kiss, even the payback one.

I wonder what will happen if she finds out I've been reading her journal. She probably won't mind or atleast not that much. Oh well, I'll let the truth speak for itself.

I was bored so I decided to snoop around a little. To find something to play with or to keep me busy.

After walking around for a little while, I couldn't find anything that went along the lines of my interests so I decided I would just go on my iPhone and go on this new app I found called wattpad, it has cool stories on it and mostly teenagers write them, so they are nice.

"Zayn, I'm done from the washroom if you want to use it." she said with a towel wrapped around her head and her body in a bath robe.

"Umm ya sure." I answered

I walked into the washroom and almost tripped on something. I looked down and found a razor. I picked it up and saw that there was blood on it.

Oh no...... Did something happen that I think that happened. Did Cam cut herself....

I jolted out of the washroom and saw Cam sitting on her bed crying with her head in between her knees.

I slowly walked up to her and gently sat infront of her on her bed.

"Cam?" I whispered. As I grabbed her arm and rolled up the sleeve of her bath robe. I was right... She did cut herself.

She looked up and I scooped her into my arms.

After holding her in my arms for almost two minutes, I managed to say something.

"Why?" I sobbed. Did the reason she did this have to do with me?

"I - I can't say Zayn! I just I just can't !" she sobbed

I figured that instead of her telling her journal all these things rather than telling me, than its iabout time that she talks to a person about it.

"You have to tell me! I've known you for over 10 years, we never hide anything from each other!"I sobbed

"Zayn I wish I could tell you, I really do! But this, I don't think I can tell you , you'll find out one day, but I don't think today is gonna be that day!" she said between sobs.

I didn't want to push her, I think that one day will be the day where she expresses her feelings to me, not paper.

I grabbed her hand gently and lead her to the washroom as she followed. When we got to the washroom, I picked her up and rested her on the counter.

" I get that you don't want to tell me the reason you did this, but next time there's gonna be other options than hurting yourself. Okay?" I reassured her.

She nodded and I pulled her into a passionate hug. It didn't really last long though.

" Now let's get this cleaned up." I smiled.

I looked down at her cut and saw that there were 5 cuts and blood was gushing out through all 5.

I got a cloth and pushed it over the cuts so it could pressure the bleeding to stop.

It was there for about 5 minutes so I took it off. The blood had stopped but there was some residue of it so I got another cloth and I wetted it to wipe off the residue.

After it got dried off, I grabbed some moisturizer and I rubbed it all over the cuts, so it could get repaired real fast.

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"How about we get some menchies and then we'll go to the park and eat it all up? (A/N it's me and @in_spiration 's inside joke )" I asked

"Sounds fun, but we won't be able to do this again til next weekend, I've got classes tomorrow, man I'll miss our little adventures. " she replied

"It's ok , we can have our little

Starbucks adventures when we have music classes ." I reassured her.

Incase you were wondering, Camila was a little sad from earlier, so I wanted to take her out to have alittle fun to keep things off of her mind and my mind.

Yes my mind too, because, how do you think I would feel if someone hurt themselves because of me. Yes, I know she cut herself because of me, I'm not sure exactly why she did it, but it probably had to do with last night.

We actually parked our car in the mall parking lot so we could just walk around everywhere instead of driving everywhere.

By now we were at menchies which is a frozen yogurt place.

" Zayn I'm gonna get the cookies and cream one what about you?"she wondered.

"I think I'll go with cake batter." I answered.

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We were at the park now sitting on the swings that were next to each other. It felt nice because the park was empty and only we were in it.

"Remember when we were little, we would always come here when we got sad or angry about something? " she said.

"We still do, this is like our childhood place, it never gets old."I said while putting a spoon of my yogurt in my mouth.

"Yeah." she said and we both went back to our relax mode while eating our menchies.(frozen yogurt)

"Ummm, Zayn what was that noise ?"she whispered

"I think we should head home, that was probably thunder." I told her and she nodded .

We quickly threw out our empty menchie cups and ran to the mall parking lot which was 5 minutes away from the park we were at.

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*Camila POV*

Oh my god , I had the best dream ever last night. I was sleeping beauty the princess and the evil girl made me

touch a spindle and I fainted and the only way I would wake up was if someone kissed me. Guess who came to kiss me? Zayn and I don't know why, but it felt so real for some reason. It felt exactly like Zayns lips from when I kissed him last night.

Oh ya. I kissed him last night, what was I thinking!! What if he found out ! Oh my god , I'm the dumbest person in the world. I know I'll never get a chance with him , there was no point in doing that !

That's when I adjusted to the sunlight. Than I saw him .. Zayn . I'm guessing he noticed that I opened my eyes finally.

" Good Morning Cam !!" he shouted.

"Good morning." I said with a hush tone remembering what happenned last night.

"How did you sleep last night?" he said as he smiled a great big smile.

"Umm... pretty go-od . I'm going to go and freshen up.. In the washroom." I stuttered. And I ran off to the washroom and slammed the door shut.

I went in the shower and turned on the water so it could be in the perfect temperature.

I let the water fall on me, it was like a medicine for my sore muscles. It felt amazing.

I took my loofa and soaked it in body wash.

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I was in the middle of shaving my legs. When I rage of anger took over my body and I remembered everything.

Why did I kiss him? I'm so dumb!! I'll never get a chance with him !

I cried and cried. I cried so hard that I sank down in a sitting position.

I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed the razor off of the ground and cut my wrists. Soon, blood was gushing out. I threw the razor away so I wouldn't do it again.

I ran out of the shower, not caring about the blood. I wrapped my head in a towel and wore my bath robe. Than I walked out casually so zayn wouldn't think anything happened.

"Zayn!! I'm done from the washroom if you want to use it!" I yelled so he could hear me.

"Okay " he replied and he got up and headed to the washroom.

I sat on my bed and started crying my eyes out. He came back about 1 minute later and ran up to me.

I was confused at first but then when he rolled up my sleeves, I remembered how I threw the razor away and he probably saw it.

For the wrest of the time, he comforted me and after a little while we decided we would go on a little journey.

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Haiii ma glitters

Sorry for the story chapter because I didn't want to give to much away.

New Goal- 300 reads by the end of may

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Baiiiii