My name was Velutha, and my father was Vellya Paapen. We lived in a small cabin next to a river. We were untouchables and at the other side of the river lived the touchables. My father and I used to work for a wealthy touchable family on the other side of the river. I first went there when I was fifteen, and it was on this day that my fate was sealed. My father had finally let me go on the little boat that he owned and that would eventually have became mine if I had reached my twenties. We crossed the deep blue water of the river that I found so mesmerizing at the time, and when I stepped on the land getting out of the boat, I got a preposterous feeling, as if I knew that I would once not be able to stand foot on this land again, I felt linked to the boat.

When we arrived at the house, where we were going to work, my father introduced me to Mammachi and Pappachi, who were our employers and the owners of the house. And then, here she was, standing on the doorstep, shy looking and staring at me, the daughter of Mammachi and Pappachi. She had long brown hair falling down her knees, dressed in a magnificent red sari. We looked at each other for a few seconds that felt like hours, and I just knew that it was love at first sight. Then, as I was delivering some coconuts to the compound, still thinking about her, I heard a faint whisper coming from a metal gate in what must have been the basement of the house, so I put my coconuts into the compound and went to listen closer and more carefully.

And I saw her again, through the grid, then she took out the grid and told me to enter through the hole it had left behind. I knew that I did not have the right to enter into the house of a touchable, because of my caste of untouchable, but she insisted and I could not resist to the temptation, her voice was so angelic. When I entered, I was finally able to see her face clearly. She was so gorgeous! Her eyes were the same color as the river that linked our two lives, and her lips seemed so sweet. I didn't even know her but as the fool that I was then, the only thing that I wanted in this exact moment, was to kiss her.

I wouldn't be able to tell how was the room around us, because I was so hypnotized by her beauty and grace. Then she told me that we shouldn't exchange our names because if we were ever to be split apart from each other it would hurt too much to know each other too much. And I respected that. Right after saying that, to my greatest astonishment and pleasure, she kissed me. But that's when I realized that I had just done something really wrong, I had touched a touchable. I was so frightened of what might happen to me that I ran away, I ran towards the sun, to the opposite side of the river, without ever turning back. I thought that she would have told someone, so I hid.

I hid for a week, that became a month, that became a year. I tried to forget her, I really did, but every time her river eyes and the taste of her lips came back to haunt me. The first year, I was just walking nowhere, with no other goal than to forget her face, her voice, and to forget my life. It almost worked but eventually, one day when I was searching for leftovers in the trash, I found a bright red sari. It was the exact same color as the one from the girl, and that's when I realized that to be able to forget her, I had to find a purpose in my life. So for the next three years I worked as a labourer in a farm, I even had a little cabin somewhat similar to the one which I lived in with my father, and I even owned two hens. But I couldn't forget her. We only knew each other for a moment but she had taken so much space over my soul I barely even had space for my own self.

One day, in the fourth year since I had left, I heard little chirps coming from the hen house and here it was, a newborn hen, with the same river eyes as the girl. I was so angry at that little thing, how could it dare bear her eyes ! It just didn't have the right, I couldn't let it. So I grabbed a knife and pierced its eyes. The filthy thing did not resist and died. But it was not enough, the parents had dared to give birth to that little devil, so I cut their throat, but their blood, it was as red as the sari. I could not exit the signs anymore, I knew what I had to do now. So I decided to head back to the place where I lived before, I had to kill her, there was no other way, she stole my life and my soul, she had no right to do that.

Finding my way back home wasn't very hard, it took me only eleven days because it's a workplace well known by the untouchables when you need to get a job. I arrived at my father's cabin at six in the morning and when I saw him I was so happy because I missed him so much even though we'd never been really close. But I had not forgotten why I was here. I spent the day with my father and when he went to sleep I stole the pointiest knife I could find and took the boat to cross the river. When I arrived at Mammachi and Pappachi's house, I noticed that nothing had changed, which surprised me a little but in the same time I was glad because it meant that the grid to the basement was probably always there. And it was. I took the grid off, and entered, checking if my knife was still in my pocket. But before I had a chance to turn around and take a look at the room, I heard a whisper right in my ear. A whisper that haunted me these last four years. A whisper that said "I was waiting for you".

I turned around, and here she was, looking right in my eyes, a mysterious smile on her face, the girl that I needed to kill. But I couldn't. Not anymore. Not after seeing her gorgeous face that evolved into such grace and beauty. She was only a few centimeters away from me, I could have grabbed my knife and ended her life so easily. But she kissed me. That sweet kiss that gave me nightmares. Every doubt I ever had just flew away with this kiss. I loved her more than anything, she was my past, present and future, she was my everything, and she loved me.

For two month I would wait for my father to get to sleep and I would take the boat and cross the river to see my lover. We were like Romeo and Juliet, we had no right to love each other because of our castes but it didn't matter, because we loved each other so much. She had succeeded to escape forced marriage by ruining every encounter with other families, behaving like a child. She waited for me for four whole years, and never doubted that I would come back. My father was beginning to be more and more irritating. I didn't know what was his problem at the time but now I know what this traitor was planning.

One day, as I was cleaning the dishes, I saw my father through the window. He was doing stuff around the boat, I hoped that the boat would be repaired and that I would be able to use it at dawn to see my lover. In the evening after my father went to sleep, I walked towards the boat and checked, everything seemed to be alright and safe, so I took the boat. Midway through the river, I noticed water coming inside the boat, more and more quickly. I started to panic a little but it's when I saw five holes that were expanding more and more that I knew the boat would sink before reaching the coast. Fortunately I knew how to swim, but as I was jumping out of the boat, I felt something roll around my ankle, my feet was stuck in a rope and the boat took me deep into the river with it. I was trying so hard to get the rope out of my ankle, but nothing would do, I was stuck. The last thing I saw before sinking, was my father, watching the scene from the coast of the river, staring at me, not moving any muscle. He knew. He knew that I had committed the unspeakable. He knew that I had touched a touchable. I took a last grasp of air while the boat was dragging me down. I was still trying to get the rope out of my ankle but I panicked too much and lost too much air. I needed air. I tried to breathe but my lungs filled with water. Freezing, deadly water. The last thing I remember thinking of, was the girl. Would she miss me ? She had to continue with her life. Would she even know that she would pass so much times over my dead body, floating in the water, the deadly rope keeping me linked to that boat in the bottom of the river?

My tormented soul was still in this river. Over the years I found out that I was able to make an impact in the mortal life. I could move the ocean, sinking boats just like mine did. So when my father crossed the river, I made him join me in death. I made him drown just like he had drowned me years ago. But one day, to my biggest surprise, the girl crossed the river. My girl. But she was with another man. It was his husband. I just wanted her to be happy, so I let them go and cross the river peacefully. Many many years later, I had lost the count, but it was probably something like sixty years later, an old lady was swimming in the river, and I recognized her. I just knew that it was the girl that I had loved so much. It was like she knew that I was here, waiting for her to join me. I did not do anything, I couldn't, by any mean, kill her. I loved her too much for that. But she joined me herself. She swam down and down into the river, letting water fill her lungs, and as life left her body, our souls were reunited together, and I was finally able to reach the light with her.