《The Triplets' Guides (Reader Insert Version)》(y/n)'s Guide to Alternate Dimensions
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(y/n) peered into the camera lens with a doubtful look on her face in the triplets' room.
"Is it on?" she asked.
"Yeah, it's on" Mabel replied, shooting her sister a thumbs up from behind the camera.
"Ok."
(y/n) took several steps back, and waved at the camera.
"Welcome back to the (y/n)'s Guide series" she said.
"Brought to you by Mabel Inc. Fuzzy Ducklings!" Mabel said, holding up a fuzzy green stuffed animal duckling to the camera. "You can buy yours today for just $450.99 at the number below, with no refunds! And now we return to your program!"
(y/n) looked like she was trying not to shoot Mabel an irritated expression.
"Thank you, Mabel" she said through gritted teeth, before turning her attention towards the camera. "Today is (y/n)'s Guide to...this!"
She held up her wrist to reveal a high tech red colored watch, which was so thick that it took up a third of her arm length.
"Great!" Mabel said with fake enthusiasm. "It's another nerd toy."
(y/n) frowned.
"It's not a nerd toy. It's trans-dimensional watch!" she said. "It uses mutated accelerated photons and chromium particles to-"
"Nerd toy!" Mabel interrupted. "It's totally a nerd toy."
(y/n) frowned at her sister.
"Hey, I didn't interrupt you while you were advertising your moldy ducks."
"It's not mold!" Mabel replied cheerfully. "It's fuzzy green stuff that I found growing in the-"
"Anyways" (y/n) interrupted her sister. "This watch will take me to any dimension, and then will automatically transport me back within a certain set time. You all will get to see whatever I see with this tiny camera."
She held up a small, flat camera, before clipping it to the front of her toolbelt.
She then turned her attention towards the watch, and started to punch some numbers into it.
"Now let's see, set that to ten minutes, and there!"
(y/n) held up the watch excitedly.
"Wait, wasn't that Dipper's watch?" Mabel asked from behind the camera.
"Eh, he won't mind" (y/n) replied, before pressing the button on the watch. "Probably."
Suddenly, a flash of indigo light in the shape of her silhouette appeared, before it disappeared in another bright flash.
(y/n) had vanished.
The camera clipped to (y/n)'s belt flickered to life as she re-appeared in a flash of indigo light.
Her jaw dropped as she looked around at her new surroundings.
"What the?" she stuttered in shock.
She appeared to be in a tremendous oval-shaped arena, with a tan dirt ground, and thick iron walls surrounding the entire place. The sickening stench of sweat and bile caused (y/n) to gag when she first breathed in the dimension's air. There were spectators crammed all around sitting on elevated benches, all of them cheering wildly underneath the blood orange sky.
There was a grand spectators box above the crowd, and inside it was a rather plump man wearing long elegant robes to conceal his rolls of fat. He had huge round plugs in his stretched earlobes, a shiny bald head that reflected the dull light of the sky, and long facial hair that looked like it should have been on his head instead.
He stepped forward in the spectators box so that he was in better view of the crowd, and held up his arms.
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"Welcome, one and all, to the Games!"
The crowd cheered ferociously, pumping their fists into the air as they screamed their support.
The ringleader then gestured towards the gate that was on the opposite side of the arena.
"They say that he burst from his mother's womb fully clothed in armor with a sword and shield! He runs with scissors in his hands and crosses the street without looking both ways! Give it up for our first fighter...the Skullripper!"
With an echoing creek, the opposite gate lifted upward, revealing a figure who was more muscle than actual man. He had to be at least nine feet tall, with biceps the size of basketballs, and legs that looked like they should have been on a rhinoceros. He had a thick sword glowing a bright red color gripped tightly in one hand.
The crowd screamed in approval as he started to flip his sword all around his body, throwing it up in the air before catching it and posing in a fighter's stance.
The ringleader then turned towards the other side of the arena.
"And on this side, he will be going up against..."
He stopped awkwardly when he saw (y/n) standing on the other side of the arena.
"...this little girl."
The crowd was suddenly silenced as they caught sight of the Skullripper's opponent.
For a long moment, (y/n) just stood there, unsure of what to do, until she finally held up a hand and waved awkwardly.
"Hi, I'm (y/n) Pines" she said to the crowd. "And I was hoping that maybe you'd show me the exit?"
At that request, the audience started to boo, shouting their protests as a few of them actually started to throw some sort of foreign fruit at her.
She dodged out of the way to avoid being hit.
"Hey, no need to throw a temper tantrum" she said calmly. "Just show me the exit, and I promise I won't hurt your best fighter."
The crowd suddenly burst out into vicious laughter at that ridiculous claim, nobody believing that this little girl even stood a chance against the infamous Skullripper.
Even the ringleader in the box was laughing, pounding his fist against the edge of the box boisterously. He wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes.
"You...you really think you can take down the famed Skullripper?"
(y/n) didn't even smile as she walked up even closer to the spectator's box.
"Without a doubt" she declared defiantly.
The ringleader smirked at her rather dubiously.
"Tell you what, I'll make you a little deal" he said. "If you miraculously defeat the Skullcrusher in five minutes, then I'll let you go free.
But if you don't, you will spend the rest of your worthless life as another one of my gladiators. You will be stripped of all free will and you will belong to me, if you're still somehow alive at the end of the round, that is."
And though he had a charismatic smile on his face, his cold eyes were filled with nothing but malice. He wanted nothing more than to see her die.
(y/n) stared into his merciless steel grey eyes with an equally determined glare.
"Better get the keys to the exit ready then, Buddha" she said.
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The ringleader didn't even look remotely phased at the insult, only raising an eyebrow shooting her the same amused grin as he turned towards one of his servants.
"Delilah, place a bet on the Skullcrusher defeating this little spitfire" he said smugly.
"Of course, sir" Delilah replied, as she began writing down his orders on a piece of paper. "For how much?"
He grinned maliciously down at the fight that was about to begin between the mountainous professional gladiator fighter and the tiny new comer.
"Everything that I have."
The giant clock was set, already counting down from five minutes.
5:00...4:59...4:58...
The crowd roared in barbarity as (y/n) and the Skullripper started to circle each other menacingly, both of them with an equal intensity in their fierce eyes.
"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!"
The two of them immediately charged towards each other, the Skullripper swiping his glowing sword at (y/n).
However, she ducked and slid underneath him in between his legs, completely unscathed.
The crowd jeered and roared at him, disappointed that he had missed his target.
The Skullripper whipped around and growled at her ferociously, a clearly frustrated expression evident across his face.
(y/n) looked up at the clock to see how much time she had to defeat her opponent.
...4:30...4:29...4:28...
"Ah, are you kidding me?!"
The Skullripper charged at her once again, but she slid out of his path at the very last second, causing him to miss her once again.
She used the time to start banging against the base of the giant clock, hopelessly trying to speed up the countdown.
"Come on, you dumb thing! Go faster!"
The crowd actually started to cheer in approval for (y/n), and several people in the audience even started to boo the Skullripper.
His plummeting popularity levels were clearly infuriating the him, his eyes consumed with a savage rage.
"HOLD STILL SO I CAN ANNIHILATE YOU!" he shouted out to (y/n), his voice dripping with fury.
(y/n) turned around towards him and raised an eyebrow.
"Why don't you try charging at me again? See if you finally hit me."
She looked up at the clock again, before looking back up at him.
"Just give me exactly three minutes and fifty seven seconds."
In response to that request, the Skullripper held out his sword and lunged right at her, thrusting the weapon right through her heart.
The blade impaled her body, and emerged out her back.
The crowd went completely silent, as a palpable sense of shock spread throughout the entire audience.
But to everyone's surprise, (y/n) actually started to laugh. A wide grin spread across her features as she opened her eyes and stared directly into the Skullripper.
"You missed again."
She simply stepped aside, the blade passing right through her body as the second belt around her upper waist was glowing a yellow color.
The Skullripper eyes were wide with complete shock.
"W-what are you?" he stuttered. "Some kind of witch?"
"I'm just a regular human being, like you. Only without steroids."
She took a camera out of her toolbelt, and shot him with it.
The Skullripper started to scream in agony as his entire body started to deteriorate in a flurry of blue pixels, until he disappeared entirely.
When the pixels finally dissipated, he was gone.
"I might have to play Fight Fighters as him if I survive today."
(y/n) looked up triumphantly at the clock.
...2:00...1:59...1:58...
"And with two minutes to spare!" she said cheerfully, before turning back up towards the ringleader.
"Alright, game's over" she yelled up at him. "Now open the doors and let me go."
For a rather brief moment, there was a look of utter shock plastered across his face, before he did the last thing that (y/n) expected him to do.
He laughed.
It was a soft, amused laugh that eventually escalated into a great roar of a laugh that was so boisterous everyone could hear the rage cloaked within it.
He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye.
"You really think I'm going to let you go, after you defeated my best gladiator? No. You're going to stay here, pay for making me lose everything.
I cannot own you, so your death will have to do instead."
Suddenly, several gates opened all around (y/n), and behind each door was a different hideous monster, which ranged with features such as poisonous gas, razor sharp teeth, or red hot flames erupting from their mouths.
And all of them started to close in on her in the center of the ring.
But (y/n) wasn't worried.
She was looking triumphantly down at her watch.
...0:03...0:02...0:01...0:00
"And just in time."
Suddenly, her body started to glow an indigo color, and it was becoming more and more transparent as she disappeared at the spot.
The ringleader was looking at her with an outraged expression.
"I swear, (y/n) Pines, I will destroy you for what you've done!"
"Yeah, you'll have to wait your turn in the back of the line of people who want to kill me" (y/n) shouted, before she vanished completely from the dimension.
Back in the triplets' room, Dipper was sitting on his bed reading a book, and Mabel was scribbling another picture on the floor, when suddenly a flash of indigo light suddenly appeared in the middle of the room, and when it finally disappeared, a rather haggard-looking (y/n) was standing there, covered with cuts and bruises.
Neither of her siblings even looked remotely surprised.
"Oh hey, (y/n)" said Dipper with a rather bored tone, not even looking up from his book.
Mabel turned towards her sister.
"How was the dimension hoppi-"
(y/n) yanked the dimension-travelling watch off her wrist, and threw it onto the ground.
Dipper and Mabel both stared at her with shocked expressions.
She then started to jump on top of the watch, crushing the device underneath her combat boots.
"DIE! DIE! DIE! YOU. EVIL. LITTLE. WATCH!!!!"
When she was finally done, she stepped back, revealing the shattered remains of the watch device.
There was a moment of awkward silence.
Dipper's eyes squinted in recognition.
"Wait, was that my watch?"
____________________________
The next episode, "(y/n)'s Guide to Anger Management," is currently scheduled for release 7/14/18 unless otherwise posted. Thank you for your dedication to this story as it starts to get wrapped up
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