I woke up in such a urge waking Trent up as he rested his hand on my hips. I got out of bed and ran to the bathroom throwing up in the toilet, while i had my head hanging over the toilet i heard trent walk in and grabbed my hair and started stroking my back "Babe you alright?" You shook your head "Yeah it's gone now" he nodded standing up helping me up from the current position i was in on the floor and flushed the chain. "I'm just gonna get cleaned up" i said to him as he smiled and walked out of the bathroom. I looked into the mirror to see my reflection of me looking worse for wear and wearing an oversized top from last night. I couldn't work out why I was feeling sick maybe it was the fact i had the full bag of crisps to myself last night maybe I've just over done my body on sea salt.

I cleaned up, brushing my teeth and cleaning my face and walked into the kitchen to see Trent standing at the oven "Sorry about that, I think i over did my body on sea salt" he smiled "It's ok i was starting to worry how you jumped up out of bed" i laughed and walked over to him and gave him a kiss "Thank you for holding my hair" she shrugged "Anything for you" "anyway you, what are you making?" "Pancakes" i smiled "Aren't you just the best" he smiled "I am in deed" i laughed and gave him a kiss and went and sat on the sofa putting the news on.

After a while Trent came walking iver to the sofa handing me a plate of Pancakes "Aww omg these are so cute" i said as i looked at the heart shaped Pancakes. He smiled "You like them?" I clapped my hands "Trent i love them" he smiled and walked over to the counter getting his plate and coming back to sit next to me on the sofa and we sat and watched the news while eating.

We both finished our pancakes and I got up taking our plates and washing them "You feeling any better?" Trent asked as he approached me "A bit better" he smiled and i threw both my arms over his shoulder "Thank you for earlier" he smiled. "What are your plans today?" I shrugged "We have training later but I think I'm going to go visit Nare and Engel because they've just got back" he nodded and leaned in and kissed me "I like this, us" he said as he played with the hem of my top "And i like us too" he smirked as he started lifting my top up i slapped his hands away "Oi mr I have to meet Nare" he nodded "Okay fine" he said as he grumbled and I pulled away walking down the hallway and into my office pulling out an outfit which consisted of jeans and a hoodie, i tied ny hair up out the way and put my moisturiser on and i was done for the day.

I walked into the kitchen and Trent was stood washing the pots dressed wearing a grey tracksuit and a Under armour cap. He looked up and smiled cleaning the frying pan from this morning "Leave that I can do that" he shrugged "Babe look I'm doing it now" i smiled and nodded walking over to the unit near the door getting my bag and putting my purse in and looking at my phone texting Nare,

Hey sweetie, are you and my favourite little friend free today? Xxx

Hey maia, of course we are! I'll pop the kettle on. We have alot of catching up to do xxx

See you both real soon xx

I put my phone down and trent smiled "You alright?" I nodded "Yeah I'm alright, just feel a bit sick" he smiled and handed me two Paracetamols and got a glass out the cupboard and filled it up with water and handed it me, i nodded and took them swallowing them both down with water and then setting the glass on the counter "Thank you" he smiled "You sure your alright to visit Nare and engel" i nodded "Yeah I'll be fine" he nodded "Let me just got get my stuff" he gave me a kiss on my forehead and walked off down the hallway.

I didn't know what was the matter, I never felt like this even when i was on my period. My mind stopped and my heart sank oh no I'm late. What if?. I can't.

Millions of thoughts were going through my mind but were interrupted by Trent walking into the kitchen with his bag "You ready?" I smiled and shook off my thoughts. I needed to ask nare, she had been pregnant so if that is the case then she would know what to do. I grabbed my bag and phone and put my coat on and trent opened the door and i locked the door and we walked down to our cars. We got to mine and i gave him a kiss "Love and miss you" i smiled and hugged him then kissed him again "Love and miss you more babe" he smiled and then walked off to his car and i unlocked my car and got in putting my bag on the seat next to me and did my seat belt and started ny car making my way to Nare's house.

I arrived Nare's house and parked up in the driveway and got out with ny bag and locked my car, walking up the driveway and knocking on the door. I didn't have to wait long before the door was opening revealing Nare. She smiled and pulled me into the house giving me a hug "Maia omg" she said as she squeezed me tighter "Oh nare, it's soo nice to see you again" she smiled "How have you been?" "Good, really good" she nodded "Did you enjoy your break away?" I said to her as I took off my shoes "Much deserved break away" I smiled "Come on then" she said as she walked into the living room and i followed.

When we got into the living room which is also in the kitchen. Engel was sat watching tv but then she looked up and seen me and she smiled and got up running up to me "Auntie Maia, I've missed you so much" i smiled "Aww engel I've missed you too" she hugged me and i hugged her too. We both pulled away and i looked at her "So come on then, what did you do?" And then she started telling me she planted and seed and it's growing, did baking, went in the swimming pool etc. "Sounds like you had a good time" she nodded and went and sat back down on the floor watching tv.

I walked into the kitchen and sat down on one of the stools, "So go on then?" I looked at Nare as she said this, "What do you mean go on?" She looked at me and smiled "Maia the last time we seen eachother you and Trent were flirting with one another. So go on what's happened?" I smiled "For one that was so long ago" she laughed "True. Do you want tea or coffee?" "Oh I'll just have water" she nodded and poured me a glass of water. "So we were flirting you know and he asked me to be his girlfriend and we've just been spending time with eachother" she smiled "Aww I'm so glad that your happy" i smiled i am. "Nare can i ask you a question?" She nodded as she took a drink of her Coffee "I need your advice" she nodded "So I've been falling asleep and feeling alot more tired, and over the past two days I've been sick and feeling sick. And I've been crying in which i really don't" she nodded "I felt like that when I was in my early stages of pregnancy" I started to cry "Nare what if I am, we haven't been together for a month yet. I'm late too" she came around and hugged me "Look Maia the best thing you can do is get a pregnancy test and take one. Do you want to do it here?" I shook my head "No I'll get one on my way back from training" "you need to tell him how you've been feeling. And hopefully if he's a good person he'll understand" i nodded she smiled and we all went outside and Engel showed me her climbing frame.

It was a little later and even though I tried to not think about the possibility that I could be carrying a baby, I kept thinking about it. What was Trent going to think or say? We had only known eachother for a few months and officially been together less than a month. What was everyone else going to think. It was my own stupid fault with the whole moving and with work when we first had sex I forgot to take the pill and now it's all my fault. What was his family going to think? I just couldn't think about getting rid of the child if I was, so either he would stay and be there or I bring up a baby on my own.

I still had to go to work because of Training and so i said goodbye to nare and Engel and nare walked me to the door "Come here" she said as she pulled me into a hug "Let me know OK?" I nodded "Of course" we pulled away and i opened the door putting my sandals on and walked down the hallway to my car unlocking it and getting inside. She waved at me as i did my seatbelt and pulled out of the driveway and started to make my way to melwood.

Throughout the whole journey my mind kept racing but I finally got to melwood and parked up and got out with my bag and locked the car and tried to switch my mind off from thinking about the Current situation whatever that may be. I said hello to Linda and went up to my office unlocking the door and walking in. I felt like crying as my mind thought about what will or might happen if I was pregnant but I pulled myself together seeing some of the boys already out on the pitch warming up and so i got my camera and phone and locked my office up and walked downstairs and through the corridors to outside. I smiled as i seen all the boys laughing and then i thought What would they think if I was? Would they think I've done it to trap Trent. Which I hadn't, it was a silly little mistake that could turn into something else.

I started taking photos and watching as the boys laughed and trained like they usually did. I watched as Trent and robbo laughed and they had their banter and I just thought in that moment i would destroy his career with him looking after me and the baby if I was pregnant. I couldn't be the reason his career failed. I carried on taking photo's and tried to block the negative thoughts out.

The boys had finished training and i looked at the time on my phone and it was 7 and so i walked back up to my office. I didn't think and don't think i can be in contact with trent or any of the boys for a matter of fact without bursting into tears so the best thing for me to do was to get my bag and go to the supermarket and get a few pregnancy tests and then go home and take them. I got to my office letting myself in, closing the blinds and packing my bag away and putting my camera in my bag. I had packed up my bag and opened the door and locked it making my way downstairs and through reception to my car in the carpark. Surprisingly i didn't get stopped which was good because I was on the brink of tears as soon as I got into my car. I started up the car and made my way to tesco to pick up the pregnancy tests.

4 years ago Today, one of the defining matches of my career. Blessed memories 🙏🏽

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Back at Melwood 📍

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Back at Melwood 🔴

never seeming to capture ny cheesy smile!

Always smiling! Your as bad as Mo!

it's better to be smiling than be sad!!

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I got to tesco parking up and getting my purse out of my bag and undoing my seatbelt deciding to leave my phone in the car. I got out and locked the car heading inside straight to the pharmacy area arriving at the shelf with all the different options of tests. I didn't know what test I should buy, so after a few minutes of me stressing I Decided on the Clear Blue tests which were the best according to the sign above them. I'm surprised I didn't drop the box as my hands were shaking.

I walked to the self service counter and paid for them and walked straight back to my car, unlocking it and getting in putting the tests in my bag and doing my belt and started the car to go home.

I arrived home and parked up getting out my bag and locking the car walking up the stairs. I arrived at my front door, opening it and walking inside closing and locking the door from behind me. I put my phone on the kitchen counter and took the box of tests out of my bag and looked at the box, so two lines means your pregnant and one line means not. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes and then opened them and found myself heading towards the bathroom and closing the door from behind me. I opened the box taking out the instructions and the two tests that you got in the box. It said that you have to wee on the stick and then wait about 3 minutes and then look.

I pulled my jeans and pants down and sat on the toilet and had a wee on both of the tests and put them on the side and then wiped and got up flushing the chain and pulling my pants and jeans up.

Now it was the waiting game countinf down the three minutes and praying that the two lines don't come up. You weren't ready to have a baby you were still pretty young.

Here i was in the bathroom counting down the time until I could look. Millions of thoughts racing through my mind and all i could think about is what do I do if I am, Trent's probably not going to stay with me because of his career which is just starting.

I walked over to the unit and it was time so I took a deep breath and picked it up and closed my eyes and turned it over. I looked at the little stick and their was two lines on there. I started to panic and breath heavily and so i looked on the box and it said if it was positive it would have two lines. I sank to the floor holding my mouth and luckily for me i was near the toilet and threw up into the toilet. What had I done? What do I do? I left the sticks on the side and rushed out of the bathroom to the kitchen and picked up my phone and went to contacts finding my mum's phone number.

I didn't know what else to do so that's why I decided to phone my mum, even though she has her own opinions and she didn't want to stand by and let trent treat me like rubbish. He hadn't it wss me who treated myself like it, I forgot to take the test, trent never and never will force me to do anything, I was the one who gave consent and I was stupid and forgot to take the pill and now I found myself in this situation and their was only one way to not hurt anyone in the process and that was for me to leave Liverpool.

I couldn't stay in Liverpool and know that people may think I got pregnant to trap Trent because that was never the case and I would never ever do that. It was best that he not know and even though it might hurt me leaving him without saying goodbye i needed to go and i knew he would try and persuade me to stay.

She picked up "Hello" and i don't know if it was just the pregnancy hormones but I started to cry and I heard her voice "Sweetheart what's happened?" And then I heard it "What's he done?" I tried to stop crying and get a grip "Mum can i come and stay with you for a while" "of course i told you the doors always open. Now tell me whats happened" I sighed "Mum I'll tell you when I get there" "okay, ill see you soon. Love you" i smiled at that because it had been a really long time since she had said it to me.

I ended the call putting my phone down on the counter and pulled my laptop out searching up Flights to Cyprus. The next flight was at 7 tomorrow morning which for me was perfect because no body would see me and i could leave with causing any hurt.