you Anu

A proper table was set for the Sultan to have dinner in his tent. Padmavati was seated in front of him. He pointed the plate and told her to eat and clean her plate full of lamb meat and rice.

She starts eating the rice and it's painful for her to swallow. Now that she seems like she accepted his superiority, she can't stop thinking about how she will reverse the situation.

‎It disgusts her, sharing the same table with her husband's killer, sitting next to him, breathing the same air. She wants to drop dead when she remembers how they used to feed each other with her husband. She doesn't want to show any emotions to Khilji but she is very close to crying and the burn in her throat makes it impossible to eat. She resists the pain, because she needs to eat, think and find a way to destroy this man.

‎She tries to swallow but fails miserably and starts coughing, which turns into choking in seconds.

‎Khilji doesn't mind at first, but her eyes get red and she looks like she could pass out any moment. He leans and pats her back roughly for a few times. She clearly didn't want to be saved which can be understood from her disappointed expression on her face. Khilji finds it entertaining but holds back his laugh and hands her his cup. She drinks the water and looks down.

‎"You need a rest." Khilji says and tells the servants to prepare a bed for Padmavati and a soup which will be easier for her to eat.

‎She stands still, staring at Khilji. He wipes his mouth and calls for one of his servants again. Padmavati stares at him as he whispers something, feeling like her ears don't work.

‎The male servant says a few words, smiling and she doesn't get it. Maybe her brain doesn't function properly due to dehydration and starvation. She really needs to eat.

‎Khilji turns back to her. "Look how you paled! I wasn't talking about you, habibi." He says with the mock obvious in his voice.

Padmavati barely hears or sees him, her vision blurring and her tongue feels numb. She puts her hand on table for support but it topples down, candles and everything on the big metal tray spilling on her. She startles a bit but doesn't get up since doesn't have the strength to do so.

‎She opens her mouth to say something but she can't. Khilji gets up on his feet, walking to her side. She wants to run away from his touch but darkness takes her.

***

Khilji carried her to his bed, feeling scared of she might actually die and all the battles he fought would mean nothing.

He removed all the clothing stained with food and candles, leaving her only with the blouse and skirt.

‎She looked so pale and vulnerable, nothing like the first time he saw her. He didn't properly see her. But this... This is probably the only time he can touch her without her killing herself or him.

She doesn't want him. So what? She probably never will. Not today, not ever. Maybe if I act nice around her... Khilji thinks. But I killed her husband.

‎He inhaled her smell which took him to a state of euphoria again. He dreamed of this for a long time. He wanted to touch her, claim her. He wanted to carry her inside him, or in a bottle like an essence. Essence of everything divine and inexplicably magical. He wouldn't be surprised if she grows flowers on her hair, or lights up the night with her fingertips. He's unable to see her as any other human being and this leads him to resisting his desires for Padmavati, something he never does.

He doesn't like this feeling and successfully ignores it by remembering that this is his victory, determined on chastening her in his own unrestricted way.

He tries to wake her so that he can feed her and keep her alive even if she doesn't want to but she isn't waking up.

‎He checks her heartbeat, it's weak but steady. He calls for a maid and asks why she's not waking up.

‎"Bring this to her nose, Sultan." Says the maid handing him a little bottle filled with a strong scent.

‎He rubs the liquid on his fingers and brings it to her nose and it works, she sneezes lightly and opens her eyes. She looks disappointed that all of that wasn't a nightmare and she is still alive.

‎The soup Khilji wanted for her comes to the tent with a male servant so he gets up and takes the tray before he sees Padmavati in the bed. He tells everyone to leave and don't come back until he says so.

‎He sets the tray on the bed and Padmavati backs off slightly, covering herself with the quilt.

‎"Calm down, we are not there yet." Khilji says and Padmavati opens her eyes in shock.

‎"I would rather die than you touching me, you devil."

‎Khilji raises his hand and makes a dismissive gesture. "I know, I know... but I don't care what you would rather Padmavati, you need to eat."

‎She turns her back, ignoring him. Khilji grabs the collar of her blouse roughly and brings her to a sitting position as she shouts in protest.

"Let go of me, devil!"

‎"Drink this, and don't make the devil come out." Khilji says, grabbing her chin.

‎"Don't touch me!" She yells, clenching her teeth. She pushes his hand away by turning his wrist. Her other hand instinctively goes to her belt for her dagger, not finding it there.

‎He laughs as he rubs his wrist, enjoying the death glare Padmavati is giving him.

‎"I don't intend to touch you tonight, but if you keep screaming like that, all the soldiers and servants will think that I do and by the time we reach the palace, whole India will think you are carrying my child." He says with an arrogant expression.

‎Padmavati wants to cry but holds it in, praying inside that one day she can ruin his world, too. Take everything he has and make him beg for mercy.

‎She holds back all her anger, feeling like if she touches ground right now, it would cause an earthquake. She sets the tray on her lap starts eating, trying to concentrate on staying alive. Khilji watches her as she silently eats and until there is no food left on the tray.

‎She puts the tray back on the bed.

‎"There. Done. Now leave me alone."

‎Khilji looks at her and starts laughing again. He laughs so loud and sincere, if she didn't know Khilji, she would think he is having a true moment of joy.

"Who do you think you are?" His laugh fades away and his expression toughens.

"You don't get to tell me what to do. You are not a queen anymore. You are under my rule. You don't seem to understand this situation yet, but here I am telling you. Don't make yourself an object of mockery because it would take me a long time getting bored of mocking a queen in a place of a concubine. Do you understand?"

Padmavati looks at him without blinking, trying to take in that he just called her a concubine, and thinking about how horrible it would be if Khilji actually started a rumour about her carrying his child. She had a little hope for being saved by her father and other Hindu emperors but if these kind of rumours were to spread, they would do nothing.

‎

‎He throws the tray off the bed and it makes a disturbing metal sound which was supposed to take her back to the question he asked. "Do you understand?" He shouts.

"Yes. I do." She nods with a calm expression and voice.

Khilji always expects her to shake with fear and show obedience immediately but instead she calms herself, keeping her words in, knowing he is not worth it.

‎He gets off the bed to change his clothes and Padmavati sits on the bed with her back to him. She undoes her messed up braid and massages her scalp. She gets her veil from the floor and covers her long hair. She wraps the quilt around her torso and stands up but she feels dizzy again.

‎"Do I have a bed ready?" She asks.

‎"Go ask them." He says jumping into bed with his long, black night gown.

‎She looks at herself in the mirror. Her skin looks yellowish and unhealthy, her lips cracked because of dehydration. Her messy hair is showing and the fact that she had to cover herself with a bedcover is pathetic. I truly look like a concubine, she thinks. A worthless one that you only spend a night with and ask her to leave before morning comes, so she has to cover her body with whatever she finds which mostly happens to be bedcovers.

"I can't go out like this." She says, sitting on the floor, low on energy.

"Why not?"

"I'm not feeling well."

"Come lay here. Take it easy on yourself, don't go looking for a bed now."

There is no way Padmavati laying in the same bed with him. It's only been a few days since her husband died and she can't even properly mourn for him.

"I can't get up. Can you give me some pillows?"

A sleepy Khilji throws three pillows to Padmavati's direction, wondering what she will do. She pulls the bed cover on her body and puts the pillows under her head, laying on the carpet. She sees the moon from the little window and feels like a stranger to the sky of the desert. She closes her eyes wondering how the world and skies change so quickly and become strange.

She meets Ratan's eyes in her mind, the only familiar feeling she carries within her. Pain turns in her stomach like a dagger and she frees her sobs and tears, not caring if Khilji hears her cries or not.

Author Note: This story focuses on the human side of Padmavati and how things could've been if Khilji succedeed. I don't mean to disrespect any religious figures and I am open to constructive criticism. Vote & tell me about your thoughts in the comments. 💕