R y v e r s P O V

My hand shakes as I bring it down from the door, the door opens a minute later revealing a tired and hungover-looking Ensleey, eyes bloodshot, with red circles lining them.

Did she drink with him? Do shots? I wouldn't be surprised if she also took some coke or hell knows what else.

The thoughts that pass by me only make me more livid.

"We're over," is all I say, I had a whole damn speech prepared where the hell did it go?

Oh yeah with my confidence, both packed their bags and left the moment I stepped onto her porch.

"W-what?" She asks in a voice, that makes me want to take back the two words that are destroying us.

"I can't be with a cheater Ensleey, you can stop lying to me now," I say looking down, one look at her and I will be a goner.

"I- '' she sighs, I hear her sob, and I can't help but look back at her to see a stream of tears travelling their way down her face, "I would never," she manages in between sobs.

"I saw you with someone else!" My voice is raised higher than I ever would allow it with her, and my own tears are threatening to make an appearance at the drama fest.

"With who?" She cries out, "You're the only one!"

"I- saw the video, Ens," I say before turning around I can't be here anymore or else I will most definitely wrap her in my arms, "we're done,"

I say all this and rush to my car before she can get another lie out.

To her credit, she pulls a good show.

When I'm finally in my car, I let my own sobs echo out. I have never been a crier, today is unlike any other day, so I'm not surprised to add another unexpected event.

I slam my hands over my wheel and look back over to where Ensleey still stands leaning on the door, her face blotchy with fake tears.

If she cared, she wouldn't have been with him, I shake my head ignoring the lies she painted her face with, and drive away.

Leaving behind half of my heart.

*~*~*~*

E n s l e e y s P O V

I fall to the ground in a heap of tears, feeling so much pain, and wondering if Parker had done anything, that would be the only explanation.

I deserved it, no one ever stays, it shouldn't be surprised how little it took Ryver to leave me too.

I never deserved his love or his care, so I know it's not worth it to even try.

After too long of sitting on the cold wooden floor, I walk up the stairs and go into the bathroom to make a mistake I promised myself to never repeat. The only thing that will help is my reminder.

I'm glad knowing Collin had no choice but to leave earlier, having to finish his assignment and call his mother like he promised to do every Sunday.

I walk into my room first, looking for the bottle of vodka I hid here a while back, mainly for emergencies.

I find it in the back of my small closet, I take it with me and grab the bag I have tapped under the bathroom sink, that I never thought I would use, I mainly kept it to show myself that I do have self-control.

How fucking mistaken that had been,

I chug down a bit of vodka, before putting three pills of molly from the bag, I'll start small.

I stare at them, already knowing that I made up my mind.

I throw them back and drink some vodka with it.

One look in the mirror and know I'm already a goner.

Once an addict, always an addict, I guess.

*~*~*~*

It's been three days since I last saw Ryver, but today I will have to see him. It's Thursday and I can't miss chemistry considering the test, I will most likely fail if I take another pill.

So as much as I would like to, I don't. I walk in half sober and take my designated seat that I used to love, but now the one I despise.

Ryver isn't here yet, I busy myself with my phone so when he does I could pretend that I don't notice him, a lie that could work.

How could I not notice his green eyes that are easy to fall for? His warm smile that shines above anyone else's, and his voice that somehow manages to make me shiver sometimes.

I can hear the scrape of the chair to my left, I look from the curtain that is my hair over to Ryver. He looks tired too, unlike me, he doesn't even try for a glance.

I take a deep breath and focus on the quiz that will be handed soon.

*~*~*~*

My hands shake as I hang up the phone with Jay, no one knows his real name, he's just Jay to all his clients, a man who only expects cash or a good blow job, maybe sex depending on how much you're buying.

I shiver at the faint memory of my lowest days, I grab the neck of my tequila bottle that is still too full and take a large swig, then another, and another.

Then go to my closet to pick an outfit, old Ensleey is finally making an appearance after a year of battling her away.

Everyone is busy living their lives, no one will notice, I can hide and drown on my own.

I take the skimpiest dress I can find that is red, and has a low neckline that shows my cleavage, hoping it will cut me some slack, and I add concealer to my red-rimmed eyes.

I'm not the girl Ryver had fallen in love with and that only makes me laugh full of happiness, he wouldn't have liked this me.

It's been a month and nine days, and each day his words replay in my mind, not that it bothers me much anymore, it's easy to shut off the world with a few pills, and a bottle of liquor.

I take a few more sips of the cheap tequila I managed to get. Feeling happier with each chug.

Then walk away from the mirror, and walk over to the bus station. It wouldn't be safe to take my car there, and it's still early. I'll ask Jay to drive me back if I stay there long.

When I arrive I'm feeling less drunk, a disappointment that I'm okay with, I'm still buzzed which helps me walk to the broken-down apartment building here.

One drunk night Jay had admitted that he hated this life, it was only the two of us, which made him more confident to speak to me.

Said his mother was a stripper, and she hated him, he ruined her life he said, he was a product of rape, and that this life was inevitable from the trauma his alcoholic mother had caused him.

I don't judge him, doesn't mean he's a good guy, but better than many.

I knock on the old wood door that reads '28', after taking a flight of stairs, the elevator never works here.

Jay opens the door, his eyes the same as mine were before the makeup, his face is sullen, something I hope never happens to me.

"Ensleey!" he says his eyes raking my body, I feel proud knowing that he could easily reduce the price for this, "thought you'd never come back,"

"Well I am Jay," I say in the most sultry voice I can, not that I will sleep with him, but it makes me look like a whore, in a way I'm not me, which is a bonus. "Where is everyone?

I ask after I notice the lack of people here.

"Most went to L's new place," I nod in understanding.

He leaves and goes into a room, where he keeps everything though it is never obvious where, the cops have raided the place so many times but always come up empty-handed.

Jay, thinks I'm nineteen, he doesn't know that the time I had spent in his bed I was only just turning seventeen, and he never will find out.

He comes back, and takes my hand in his before I feel three bags in my palm.

I slip them into my dress without looking at them, luckily Jay's prices are always lower than most, and I only have to hand him three hundred.

It wasn't difficult getting the money, having saved up from the summer job aunt Lilly forced me to get.

His hand slips onto mine where the money lies.

"You know you could pay another way," Jay reminds me, I know I can the dress I have on doesn't help.

I think it through for minutes and hate myself for it.

"C'mon you know we'd both be winning," he says, dropping my hand that still has the money, and steps toward me, giving me the chance to stop him.

"I-I shouldn't..."

"Your right Ens, but you want to," He says his hands moving to my thigh, his hand is cold. I hate it but am still tempted.

With his hand still creeping upward, "I can't."

He nods and his hand is gone so fast as if it were never there.

I hand him the money, and he counts it up, then nods, my indication that I can go.

I leave and wonder why I didn't, I could have saved so much money...

I look back at the building and take the bus back home.

I didn't fuck him, doesn't mean there aren't more opportunities.

~~~~~

Here's another chapter.

How do you feel about Ensleey's character?

Some might think I'm insane for even going into this topic. But someone has to!

Thanks so much for reading yet another chapter.

As always it means so much! If you enjoyed it, I hope you vote and maybe comment.

-R.E