"If you change your mind, let me know you don't have to if you don't want to."

I nod, "I know but I want to do this."

We were discussing the party, which was on Friday, I didn't feel an ounce of excitement towards this, but I knew Ryver wanted me to spend time with him and his friends.

So I sucked up to it, with the reassuring thought that David won't be there.

"Okay," he says, giving me an easy smile.

I feel guilty, but what else can I do?

I don't want to lose him, yet.

Ever if I can help it.

"I don't think I can go to the party." I finally admit, when we are near my house, as I fidget with my hands.

"I thought you said you wanted to."

"I do, but I can't," I say, not ready to admit the truth to Ryver, he will leave me. I'm sure of it.

"Are you ever going to tell me anything? I'm getting sick of this back and forth." For the first time in time in my and Ryver's relationship, I can see the irritation in his voice.

I don't want to see him be irritated with me.

"I'm sorry." I croak, feeling tears, threatening to escape my eyes.

"No, it's fine whatever, I just don't get why you can't hang out with my friends for once."

I know what he means, he's hung out with my friends a few times, and met Aunt Lily once, of course, it was a bit embarrassing, but things turned out fine in the end.

Though I haven't met his friends except briefly at school.

"You know what? I'll go." I blurt, the words escape barely giving me any time to think them through.

"Ensl--"

"No, Ryver you're right I should, I'm sorry I'm just nervous. You know?" I say the half-life, it is true in the sense that I don't want to run in with a past ghost.

"That's all?" He asks, I can feel the concern in his voice now, instead of the earlier irritation.

"Yeah, that's all." I lied.

*~*~*~*~*

Of course, I still have to go to that party, Dean's words echo in the back of my mind, making me wish for a way out of it.

I know there isn't a likely chance, I would actually chance I would run into David, I mean why would he be at his brothers' high school party?

He's in college and from the very little I remember of him, I know he would be at some sort of frat party, so I have no idea why I'm worried.

Though for some odd reason, there's a feeling that has been rocking me to the bone that this is a bad idea.

Every time that feeling sweeps over me, I remind myself Ryver wants me there, and I won't leave his side, so I'll be fine no matter what.

There is also that I don't believe Zack is like his brother.

But aren't the bad ones, hidden in hindsight with an easy smile and a kind attitude?

The thing I have learned about life is that you can never be certain of a person's true colours ever because you never know when the face you are used, turns out to be only a mask, that has been hiding every signal that screams danger.

By then it could be too late, you could have already fallen down the tunnel of their lies.

This is why I'm always cautious. I fell down the tunnel too many times, and now all I'm left with are scars that are invisible to the naked eye, but still haunt me every time I catch my reflection somewhere. A reminder of how broken I truly am, how damaged I've become.

I take a deep breath, trying to diminish the thoughts that seem to be lingering in the back of my mind.

It's all in my head, it's always all in my head.

Now, what do I wear to a high school party?

I sound like I'm actually older than these people, which I am not, though I at moments feel like I've lived the experiences of thousands of years.

I look over my clothes for a solid ten minutes, before I settle on a pair of high-waisted denim jeans with a cropped ACDC tee shirt. The weather is cold considering it's early December, so I add on a cropped black jacket that is made of fake leather.

Ryver stops at my house at eight, as usual having an easy-going smile, I can tell he's excited that I'm going with him, and that's what makes this worth it.

He opens the door to his car for me.

I expect him to start the car and drive off to the house, but instead, he turns to me asking, "are you sure? You didn't look like you wanted to a few days ago. I don't want to force you to do anything."

"No, I'm sure, I'm just nervous. Ya know?"

"Yeah okay." I can hear the relief in his voice, but I'm not sure what he's relieved about.

I lean back in my seat squeezing my eyes shut, and taking another deep breath.

Everything will be fine.

*~*~*~*~*

We arrived at the party, shortly later, and it was similar to all the college parties.

I didn't know what I had been expecting, though I didn't think it would be the same, that's for sure.

Ryver holds my hand in his, as we make up the steps of the large house that reminds me of a mansion.

It seems to always be the rich kids, who host these, but I guess it would be better to do them in a big house, than in a small home.

The stench of alcohol and pot fills the air as we step in, the room feels suffocating with the number of people who are scattered around the place, making the space seem so small.

Ryver leads to the living room, telling me that's where his friends would be, I feel nervous, even though I know I shouldn't be, Ryver's with me.

Except I do, and the deeper we venture into the house the more it gawns at me, the more the feeling blankets me shielding me from the truth that the likely source of anything happening is slim.

Before I realize it, I and Ryver are in the living room, and Ryver is pulling me down to sit next to him. I comply, taking a seat to his right on the couch.

I look at my surroundings realizing there are a few of the boys on the football team, some greet me, others seem distracted as of the moment there aren't many people in here, I'm guessing that sooner or later more people will show up.

I was right barely ten minutes later, there are more football players and a few cheerleaders, to my relief Melinda isn't a part of the bunch.

When Zack arrives, he acts nice as usual, and it eases some of my worries.

So far so good.

Of course, my relief is short-lived, when I hear a deep chuckle in the background that sounds similar to something so vivid yet so clear in the back of my head.

I think I'm imagining things. That is until I turn my gaze to the source of the noise.

Nope, definitely not my imagination.

~~~~~~~~

A u t h o r s N o t e

Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed this chapter.

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-R.E