As much as I try there its only one thought swarming through my head, and of course the one thought is of none other than Ryver Webb.

It's almost four in the morning and I haven't gotten a blink of sleep yet, I forgot to take my sleeping pills and it's way to late to take them now.

I would sleep if I wasn't afraid what might consume me in my sleep.

I don't need a visit form my demons tonight.

I've concluded that I might, have possibly developed a tinny tiny, really small barely there crush on Ryver.

Am I going to act on those little feeling that somehow developed?

Absolutely not.

I don't need another heartbreak, so I can't act on these stupid little feeling.

It will go away in time, it has too.

This is one of the many reasons on why I hate being awake at this time, I always overthink every little detail, from what I ate for lunch, to an embarrassing moment that occurred over two years ago.

I still can't believe I dropped my lunch in the cafeteria during freshmen year, everyones eyes were on me.

*~*~*~*

I walk into my chemistry class on Tuesday morning, and see that Ryver isn't in class, so I take a seat, who cares if he isn't here.

Totally not me.

Today I actually put a little more thought in what I'm wearing, it's mainly because I couldn't fall asleep so was out of bed way too early, not to do something.

I found a pair of denim ripped jeans that I forgot that I owned, and paired it with a black long sleeve knit sweater, the sleeves are also a bit baggy and placed it under the jeans. Overall I think that's the only thing that came good from my sleep deprived night. But I didn't really bother with my caramel hair and just let it stay in it's wavy state where it coms down to my shoulders, after I showered

But of course Ryver eventually stutters into class over five minutes late. He takes a seat next to me, I can feel that somethings off.

So me, being a stupid nosey, and a very concerned person, decides to do something I probably shouldn't, when class ends.

"What's wrong?" I ask, damn it. What the hell is wrong with me?

"Nothing." Ryver says grabbing his bag, and begins to walk out of the classroom.

I have two options, to go and see what's going on with him, or I can ignore him, and move on with my life, it's none of my business anyways.

But I want to know what's wrong with him, everyone says nothings wrong, when something's wrong.

Listen to the part of your brain thats says to stay away. I keep replaying in my head.

What if he's dying?

Oh god no, that would horrible.

What if he'd killed someone?

What if-

Before I can overthink my next move, I rush out of the classroom door after him.

Luckily we have lunch, so I won't be late for class.

He suddenly turns around, causing me to collide with his chest, he holds my waist, stopping me from falling.

I feel my breath hitch, at the feeling of his large hands, that are now on my waist, holding me securely close to him.

Wow.

I look up to him, and see his gaze is directed on my face, his green eyes looking over every detail of my face.

I feel like I'm under a microscope through his gaze.

But I honestly think about how funny would it be to be under a microscope?

I gotta stop overthinking.

I want to laugh at myself, for thinking I could ever stop overthinking, but I don't laugh since I don't think it be a great to let out my hyena snort of a laugh, in front of Ryver

So I hold back, I feel my cheeks heat up, looking back at Ryver's face.

Up close I can see a few things I didn't notice before, like his eyes there more so a mix of a blue and green, his eyelashes aren't long, but are a reasonable length.

How long have we been standing like this?

Damn that sounds cliche, I should get away from him, before I get a cliche disease.

That be hilarious if that was real.

I wish his hand stay on my waist, that holds me close to him, forever. Stop thinking that way Hendrix.

"What do you want Ensleey?" He asks, taking a step back from me, raking his finger through his brown locks of hair.

Damn that was hot.

Expect from the look on his face, I can tell he doesn't have time for anyone's bullshit.

How can I read him so well? Is something I myself am trying to figure out.

"I-I just wanted to see if something's wrong." I feel embarrassed saying it, my voice grows quieter to the end of my sentence, I look down at the ground trying to avoid his line of sight.

"Since when do you care?"

Ouch, I want to say I always care, but don't know how to show it, that will raise questions from him.

"I know that I'm not the easiest person you can talk to me." I say still not daring to look up.

I've never realized how pretty these tiled floor are.

I should pay attention more.

When he doesn't respond, I take every ounce courage I can muster and raise my neck, to see his face.

I see his eyebrows scrunched in what I can assume as confusion.

He nods and turns away and leaves.

In the words of Stephenie Tanner. How rude.

Well that didn't end well.

*~*~*~*

R y v e r s P O V

Out of all days for Ensleey Hendrix to try to be nice, it has to be today.

I honestly don't see why she cares, I'm sure she doesn't but asked for some stupid reason that I don't know yet.

So I look at her beautiful hazel eyes one last time, before turning around and leave.

She is by far the most confusing human I have ever met.

Why am I so pissed off?

Simple my brother doesn't have the decency to answer my texts, or pick up his damn phone.

I wouldn't care if he last night didn't call me drunk off his ass, saying he was in need to his apartment building. At one in the damn morning.

My phone rings beside me, causing me to wake up from my dazed sleep, Iooking at the caller ID surprised to see it's none other then my brother Jake, he never calls at least not anymore.

I pick up the phone after hesitating for a moment.

"Ryverrrrr?"Jake voice through the other end of the phone.

Of he's drunk. Why am I not surprised.

Of course thats the only time Im considered his brother.

"What do you want Jake?" I sigh frustratedly.

"C-can you p-pick me up-up." He says his voice laced with intoxication.

Where the hell could he be at- I check my phone and see it's one thirteen in the morning.

"Where are you?" I guess I'm not getting sleep tonight.

No matter how distant me and him have became in the past few years, he is still my brother in the end of the day, and my parents would mostly likely not be happy if their eldest son ended up dead on a highway.

"Remember wh-where Rachel's place is?" He asks.

Why the hell is he there?

"Yes. Why are you there?" I say.

"J-just pl-please come pick me up."

"Okay." I say and hang up of the phone without saying anything else.

I have no idea why he would be there, especially at this time at night.

They broke up after the car accident, I remember him saying they were too toxic to keep going with their relationship.

I arrive at the apartment building a little over twenty minutes later, with the head lights of my car shining brightly in the darkness, and I see Jake sitting on a curb, not to far from where I've parked, the headlight illumining his figure.

He stumbles, barely able to keep his balance in his intoxicated state, he gets in the car holding an almost emptily bottle of alcohol in his hand, his eyes bloodshot.

"Want some?" He asks, raising the bottle of whatever substance making him in the intoxicated state to me.

"No." I say shaking my head, and begin to drive away from the building. "Do you want me to drop you off at your apartment?"

"Yes." He says. "Im sorry I called you, I didn't want to call Ens or the guys, and hear a load of bullshit."

He says the name Ens and the guy like I should who they are, which I obviously don't. I want to ask about these people, but decide against it he's drunk, and probably has no clue what he's saying.

There's at least a hundred questions, I want to ask. But have no freaking idea if I should or even where to start.

I guess that's what happens when you're sitting in a car, with a brother who has completely forgotten that you exist.

"Why were you at Rachel's apartment?" I ask.

"None of your fucking business." He says his drunken voice slurring his words slightly.

I want to tell him off, but am not in the mood to fight. So I sit in uncomfortable silence for the next half an hour, just wanting this to be over.

I park at Jakes apartment building. It takes him good minute to realize we're here, he then stumbles his way out of my car.

"Thanks Ryve." He says before slamming the car door shut.

I wait until he's in the building to drive off.

I still can't believe that he called me, is it so bad to want to know what the hell happened after I left?

It's none of my business but also, I overheard mom and dad talking and he's isn't answering any of their calls either, as much as I don't like my brother, there could be a good chance he's going down the same spiral he went down when him and Rachel broke up.

I don't want mom and dad, to worry like that again.

I decide to let him do whatever the hell he wants, it's not like he wants my help.

I shouldn't have snapped at Ensleey today she didn't deserve it.

~~~~~~~~~

A u t h o r s N o t e

Thanks so much for reading hope you enjoyed.

-R.E