Steve stepped inside the trailer, looking somewhat uncomfortable. Eddie shut the door after him and shuffled back to the couch where Robin now sat, his guitar placed carefully on the coffee table in front of them.

Eddie glanced at Robin. Her expression was vacant but Eddie could see she was desperately trying not to smile, a hint of mischief dancing in her eyes.

She cleared her throat. "Well, I should get going. Meeting Nancy later for milkshakes."

She got up but paused by the door, titling her head to smile at them slyly. "Maybe this time you'll join us. Both of you, that is."

And with that she left, leaving Eddie alone with Steve. In his trailer. Just the two of them.

Eddie cleared his throat and avoided meeting Steve's eyes. "I'm, uh, going to put my guitar away."

Steve nodded slowly, staring at where the instrument laid delicately on the table, and then at the small television beside it. Recognition flickered in his eyes, his ears turning a slight pink.

Eddie's skin crawled as he brushed past Steve and he hurried to his room. The second he was inside he threw his guitar on the bed and bashed his head against the wall, screwing his eyes shut and gritting his teeth.

He let his head rest against the wall, until the discomfort searing beneath his skin ebbed away, replaced with a strained sense of calm.

He glanced over at his guitar and grimaced.

"Sorry, sweetheart," he whispered, with a silent promise to put it back in its correct place later.

For now though, he had bigger problems to worry about.

He took a deep breath, turning to leave when he caught sight of it. The circular container resting on his desk, among a packet of cigarettes and half empty beer bottle.

He walked over and gulped the bottle in one. Then looked at the container and bit his lip. He rubbed his thumb against his index finger, digging his nail in slightly. Not enough to bleed, but enough for his skin to turn red and leave a fading crescent mark.

He glanced at the door. Steve was only a few feet away from him. The thought made him nauseous, his stomach clenching unpleasantly. He turned back and popped the lid open, shaking out a pill, and then one more. And then one more for luck. He put the container back on his desk, wishing now he hadn't finished his beer in one go.

"Eddie?"

Eddie spun around. Steve stood by the doorway with his arms crossed. He narrowed his eyes when he saw Eddie's clenched fist and took a step towards him.

"What's in your hand?"

"Nothing!" Eddie blurted out, looking down.

Within seconds, Steve was upon him, taking Eddie's hand in his own and trying to pry his fingers open. Eddie shook him off, a little more aggressive than intended, and took a step back, eyes darting in all directions but at Steve. Whatever he does he can't look at Steve.

"Eddie, please." Steve pleaded, his voice soft and heavy with sadness.

Eddie couldn't bear to look at him, with his large eyes and worried gaze, so he turned away, facing a faded poster of Black Sabbath plastered against the cracked lines of his walls.

Absently, he began to mouth the words of one of their songs, strumming his fingers against his leg to distract himself from Steve's unwavering gaze.

Make a joke, and I will sigh, and you will laugh, and I will cry.

He felt an arm wrap around his waist and Steve's head resting on his shoulder, breath hot against his ear. Eddie inhaled sharply, trembling from Steve's touch.

Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal.

He let Steve lay his hand delicately on his fist, fingers gently prying them open and taking the blue and white capsules from him, and with them, Eddie's only promise of calm.

And so as you hear these words telling you now of my state.

"Top Gun, huh?" Steve murmured, and Eddie could feel him smile, feel the faint traces of his own smile tug at the corners of his lips.

"What can I say, Stevie? You've turned me into a hopeless romantic." Eddie whispered back, exhaling sharply when Steve pressed his lips against his neck.

I tell you to enjoy life, I wish I could, but it's too late.

Eddie felt his worry and fear melt away, replaced with a burning desire that rose in his chest and felt heavy against his heart.

He let the emotion overcome him, until Steve's back was against the wall, Eddie's hands wrapped around his neck as he kissed him, rough and careless and sending thrills scurrying down his spine. He dug his nails into the nape of Steve's neck, relishing the soft groan that escaped Steve's lips, pressing their bodies further together.

They pulled apart, panting and breathless, and Eddie took Steve's hand in his own, coarse fingers against soft skin. He leaned his head against Steve's chest and Steve hugged him tight, sliding down against the wall and pulling Eddie down with him.

"I have a problem," Eddie whispered.

Steve said nothing for a while, just pulled Eddie's head on to his shoulder and ran his fingers through his curls.

"I know," he eventually responded, quiet and thoughtful. "But what's happening to you now, it's happened to me too. And Robin, and Nancy. We've all been through this Eddie. We can help."

Eddie thought about his words. It seemed difficult to imagine Steve ever being scared. He was always the brave one of the group, the first one to volunteer, to risk his life so no one else had to. It was one of the things Eddie loved about Steve — his bravery was something Eddie admired, longed for even. Maybe that's why he'd offered himself up as bait in the Upside Down, the mad rush of adrenaline and fear taking over his body, his scrambled thoughts screaming at him to save Dustin. Maybe deep down, he'd done it because he knew Steve would have done the same, because it had been easier pretending Steve was by his side the entire time. Maybe he'd done it because he wanted Steve to be proud of him.

And then he'd woken up, pain thumping through his entire body and Steve had actually been there, sleeping on a chair beside Eddie's bed, and Eddie wanted so badly to reach out and tuck a strand of his hair behind his ear. But he couldn't move, could hardly think straight. So he just smiled at Steve and let himself go back to sleep, comforted by his presence.

"Eddie?"

Eddie broke out of his thoughts, turning to see Steve looking at him anxiously.

He smiled then because Steve seemed to care, care about Eddie so much that it filled Eddie with a sort of joy that sinked into his skin and left him breathless. He inched himself closer to Steve, pressing a soft kiss against his lips, hand cupping the side of Steve's jaw.

"Thank you," he whispered leaning his head against Steve's.

"For what?" Steve breathed.

"For not giving up on me," Eddie murmured. He thought of Robin and Nancy, how they hadn't given up on him either. "Maybe we can talk about this more over milkshakes?"

Steve smiled. "I'll start the car."