"Shit." I mumbled to myself, feeling really shitty. I shouldn't have just left Sam there and I shouldn't have ignored him all day. To be fair, he hadn't come to talk to me at all. The only thing I had received from him was a message telling me that I shouldn't come to the meeting. He said that it might go horribly wrong.

I replied and told him that I didn't want to stay home, but he never sent me anything else and never approached me. It was excruciating, not knowing what to do. I didn't think that any of his friends cared about us, but it wasn't like I knew for sure. Why was I such a drama queen?

I was growing more and more restless with every passing second. I needed to go to the meeting, because I knew how much depended on it. The last thing I could do was let him do that without me. It was when all of the money was due, and I didn't even know if he had it all.

My mind couldn't seem to focus on anything, and I felt tired from getting no sleep that night. I thought about Sam's parents. I passed them on my way out of the house. They asked me who I was, to which I told them my name and that I was Sam's friend. I also told them that I needed to get going. I hoped that they didn't think I was rude.

Sam's mother was absolutely gorgeous. Especially in that elegant dress she wore and with the way her blonde hair was in an intricate updo. But it wasn't her that had thrown me off. It was Sam's father. Sam was a splitting image of the man, down to a point where it was almost unnerving. The biggest difference was the wrinkles on his father's face.

All night was spent tossing and turning as I thought about everything that happened. I thought about calling Sam to tell him how sorry I was for leaving. I also thought about how much he must have hated me for doing so. My head was a hurricane of unhealthy thoughts and it was only getting worse.

All I knew was that no matter what he thought about me, I wasn't going to back down. I was going to be there for him tonight whether or whether not he wanted me to be.

I was in one of my classes, but I honestly wasn't paying attention to which one. Millie was sat in the desk next to me. She obviously knew that something was up, since I had asked Kiera if she could come get me, but I never told her why and she never asked.

Keira and I didn't really talk on the ride back to my house, since I was too deep in thought. She just reminded me that she loved me and that she was there if I needed someone to talk to. It hurt, the way the whole thing reminded me of how much I missed her.

I knew that Millie was finally starting to accept that I was struggling and I refused to accept her help. It wasn't right of me to do, but I couldn't help it. There was too much happening that I couldn't tell her. If tonight ended well, then it would finally stop piling up. But even then, I didn't plan on telling her everything. Just the things that she needed to know.

Like Sam and I.

Even if he never wanted to see my again, it still happened and I still loved him. I would still have to tell Millie about it, because I wouldn't be able to hold it in. Everyone around us seemed to have found out one way or another. My parents who were forcing Sam to tell his parents - although, I was not entirely sure if he had - Alyssa, Zoe, and now Caden, Brian, and Dennis.

The only one who was still in the dark was Millie and it was starting to eat me alive. I never knew how horrible it would feel to hide something so important from the one person I trusted wholeheartedly. It was an unbearable sort of feeling that never seemed to go away. I needed to tell her and I needed to do it soon.

If I had a choice, I wouldn't have went to school, but my parents would have been too suspicious if I skipped. So I dragged my sorry ass out of bed and allowed Millie to drive me there without complaint. At least, verbal complaint. Mentally, I wouldn't shut up.

Being outed to so many people really took a toll on me. It was baffling how I was outed to several different people in several different ways. It would have been nice to be able to tell people on Sam and I's own terms, rather than by fate's twisted logic.

As soon as the bell rang, I got up and entered the halls, avoiding the current of excited students ready to leave that hellhole. I wasn't sure where I was supposed to go, because Sam had told me not to come. I was fairly sure that he would be hightailing it out of school as to avoid me. Especially if he had gotten my message.

I stopped by my locker and dropped all of my books into it without question. I didn't really care if I had homework or anything else of importance. Sam and I had been doing homework together, but that wasn't high up on my priority list right then anyway.

The only thing that mattered to me was finding Sam and talking to him. I needed to be there for him. I had to be there. I just had to pray that he hadn't already left without me. The chances of that happening were very large.

The crowd was still huge, which was aggravating since I was trying to get outside as quickly as possible. No one payed me any mind as I wove in and out of the crowd of unknowing students. They all just carried on as if I wasn't even there.

By the time I finally got outside, I was even more desperate. The sun was so bright that it was blinding. It was a golden sort of light that I knew would turn red in about an hour when it began to set. Another thing that proved how close winter was to taking over were the early sunsets.

My eyes scanned the parking lot as quickly as they could, instantly falling on Sam's usual parking spot. A swear slipped through my lips as I saw that he wasn't there, and nor was his car. Of course he would avoid me. What bothered me was the fact that I didn't know if it was because of what happened, or what could happen.

It left me panicking, because I simply didn't know what to do. Without Sam, I was a mess. I didn't know how much I had begun to rely on him, until I realized that I didn't have him right then. People were pushing past me, bringing me back to reality. I was stood in the door, still hoping that by some divine chance, Sam would suddenly appear in front of me.

Obviously, that didn't end up happening. However, I did almost cry out in relief when I spotted Millie opening her car door. As quickly as I could, I ran over to her car to make sure that she didn't leave without me. That definitely earned me weird looks from some bystanders, but I didn't care. It was way more important than they're opinions of me.

I knocked lightly against her window, and she rolled it down without hesitation. "What is it? Aren't you going to Sam's?"

I frantically shook my head, catching my breath. "No. That's the problem." I told her.

"Problem? Why is that a problem?" Her brow furrowed, her hand tucking some of her soft, short hair out of her face.

"Millie, I can't explain it right now, but I need to ask you a favor." I wasted no time, knowing that Sam was probably planning things as we spoke.

"Sawyer, you're starting to freak me out." She laughed nervously, her expression that of concern. "What's going on?"

I didn't even bother listening to her anymore, knowing that she would do as I asked. My legs carried me around the car and my hands pulled open the door. When I was sat down in the passenger seat, I looked at her. "I need you to drive me to Sam's house."

"Why didn't he drive you there himself? Sawyer, tell me what's happening." Millie pleaded, reaching forward to start the car.

"Millie." I said, hoping that she would here the desperation in my tone. "Please just take me to Sam's place."

I needed her to take me there before they left to go to Jack Of Clubs. I needed to talk to Sam and I needed to be there for the meeting. I had invested too much fucking time into it to just suddenly give up and let them all deal with the rest of it. I was going there whether Sam wanted me to or not. Besides, wasn't I going with them for a reason in the first place? Going home could have been no different danger-wise than going with them. We all knew that.

"O-okay." She responded hesitantly, pulling the car out of the parking lot. "Just tell me the directions and I'll take you there."

I explained how to get there, and as soon as I was finished, I fell silent. There wasn't anything I could say. She knew all I was willing to tell her. I just had to hope that she left me his house without questions. I knew that she could be really moody sometimes, but I was beyond grateful for the silence. The only time she spoke up was when she was making sure that she was going the right way.

As soon as she pulled in front of his house, I sighed in relief. I could see Sam and Brian's cars parked in the driveway, proving to me that they were still there.

"Sawyer, just tell me if you're going to be hurt." Millie's voice sounded raw as she gazed up at Sam's expensive house. "Please tell me that you'll be alright."

"I..." I thought about her words, knowing that I couldn't promise my safety. Not that time. So I lied. "I'll be okay."

"Okay." She nodded. "See you soon."

I forced a smile of assurance to cross my lips as I opened the car door and listened to her driving off. I felt my legs moving as I went up to the front door, but I didn't really register it. My mind was too loud. I was going through every possible outcome as I tentatively knocked on the door.

There was that second of silence before the door opened that I felt the need to hold my breath during. My brain was so all over place, and it was really hard to get it to sit still.

"Sawyer?" Caden's cheery voice tore me out of my mind long enough to realize that I was just standing there. "Sam told you to stay home."

I shook my head. "Too bad for him. Where is he?"

Caden seemed hesitant, peering into the house as though Sam would suddenly be right there. He wasn't. All I could see was Caden. "He's not going to be happy." He sounded like a child in fear of pissing off his parent.

"Caden." I pleaded, knowing that he would break. I should have felt guilty for manipulating him, but I just couldn't find it in me to care right then. "Please let me in."

That was when he really started to panic, his expression a perfect portrait of indecision as he continuously glanced between me and the house. Until, eventually, he broke and stepped aside. "Okay, okay." He closed the door behind me and locked it.

I didn't even bother saying thank you, I was too caught up in why I came there. I could hear voices coming from the living room, so that was where I instantly went. In the doorway I stood, my eyes instantly falling on the boy that had dragged me into all of this. The boy that I would never be able to let go of.

He was sat on the couch, his head slowly turning until he saw me. His eyes went wide, and that brilliant tone of hazel that I adored so much, flashed beautifully. His hair was styled in the intentionally messy way that he always styled it. And he had his lip pulled in between his teeth. That stupid habit that I always remind him to break. Even though I sometimes loved it.

"Sawyer." He breathed. I hardly even noticed Dennis and Brian, who were also sat on the couches. All I could see was Sam. I wasn't sure what he was thinking, but he didn't look mad, and that was all that mattered.

I watched as he stood up, still staring at me. I vaguely registered Caden saying something behind me, but I wasn't paying attention. "Sam." I replied.

"Fuck." He suddenly let out a sigh, walking across the room to reach me. He didn't stop and tell me to leave, he didn't yell at me, or even look annoyed. All he did was approach me and then wrap his arms around my smaller form.

Even though I knew we were being watched, I couldn't stop myself from settling my arms around his neck, closing my eyes as I took in the scent of lavender, mint, and vanilla. His head was buried into the crook of my neck as he held me close. It hadn't even been a full day since he last held me and yet it felt like an eternity.

When did I started craving physical affection so much?

"You should have stayed home, Sawyer." The feeling of his lips moving against my neck as he spoke had my head spinning. God, I couldn't get enough of that boy.

"How could I just leave you? I'm not going anywhere." I whispered, nestling my head into his hair. His grip tightened.

Then finally, he pulled back, his brow drawn together in worry. "What if you get hurt? I can't let that happen."

"What if you get hurt?" I shot back. "You need to stop being so selfless, Sam. Just let me be there." He was biting his lip harder than normal, which caused me to scold him. "Stop doing that, you'll make it bleed."

Realization dawned on his features as he forced himself to stop chewing on his lip. I could tell that it wasn't easy. Then finally, he murmured, "Okay."

"Okay." I echoed. When he happily pulled me in for another hug, I held on to him for dear life. That boy was going to be the death of me. As my head was once again nestled into his hair, and his face was pressed into my neck, I whispered, "I love you, Sam."

"I love you too, Sawyer."

I could feel my heart beating against my ribs. It was getting dark out. It was almost time.

What was going to happen to us?

•O•O•