《(TinCan) I Hate U.》guilt
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Mr. Vich couldn't keep his breathing even. First, he didn't mean to make it sounded like Tin is the problem one. Second, he does not want Tin to talk about dying. He has lost his son for 4 years and it pains him to death. If his son were to die, it would be worse than pain.
Mr. Vich - (reached out and touched Tin on the shoulder) Tin, I'm sorr---
Tin - (jerked away from his dad's touch) don't touch me.
Mr. Vich looked hurt as he put down his hand.
Mr. Vich - I'm not trying to say that you are the problem one. I... I... Tin, I'm the problem one. I shouldn't be a dad… I'm sorry. (Straighten up and pointed to himself) I know you are mad, but please only be mad at me...don't be mad at your mother… waiting for you is painful, Tin.
Tin looked away from him. It doesn't matter anymore whether who he chooses to be mad at. He just didn't get it why they live day by day waiting for him when they never treated him right.
Tin - then don't wait! I don't understand why you people can't just move on!
Tin was about to get out of the car but Mr. Vich grabbed hold of his arm.
Mr. Vich - Tin! Please don't go!
Tin struggled but his dad gripped him tighter.
Mr. Vich - I'm not asking for you to forgive me. All this time, I've never raised you. I've never been a good dad. I'm an abusive father… there will never be a place for me to ask for forgiveness.
Tin - (glared at anywhere but his dad) if you know your position so well, then let go of me!
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Tin swung his arm so hard, his arm broke free from his dad. Then with no hesitation, Tin got out of the car.
Mr. Vich - Tin! (Called his son in panic.) Tin!
Mr. Vich also got out of his car and ran after his son.
Tin kept on walking, hearing his dad called after him made him walked even faster.
Then suddenly, a hand grabbed onto Tin and stopped him from moving forward.
Tul - Tin, stop!
Tin - (jerked his body away from him) you don't have the rights to tell me to do anything!
Tul - okay-okay, fine. (Raised his hands up) Let's just calm down and talk it out, okay?
Tin - I'm already done with you. Now get out my face!
Tin attempted for another escape but Tul blocked his way.
Tul - look, I know that this is hard for you but just think about why you are here.
Tin shut his eyes in frustration as his heart was beating in rage.
Tul - you are here to see us, right? Why are you running away?
Mr. Vich - (reached them) Tin…
Tin had his back facing his dad but shows no affection even though he heard him. He sighed.
Tin - because I don't understand. I'm so confused about the whole thing. Back then, I was torn, hurt, and outcast. I was never a son in this family. And now what is this? I become the problematic child who you guys are trying so hard to please so I wouldn't leave again. And Mom, she's not even crazy. why is she in this mental hospital? why is she handicap like that?
Mr. Vich walked to face Tin with regret and gloomy eyes but Tin looked away.
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Mr. Vich - I wasn't trying to make you feel that way. All of this was my fault, Tin. You stepped out of the house that night was because of me. A week after you've been gone, your mother thought she saw you crossing the street. So she ran into the street and got hit by a car. She was mistaken you for someone else.
Tin was feeling choked up and now on the urge to cry. In the end, it's his fault for causing his mother unable to walk.
Mr. Vich - she won't eat. Calling your name was all she ever do. (Tears fell down to his cheek) Tin… I beg of you… please stay with your mother. Stay with us.
A tear escaped from Tin's eye and he quickly wiped it away. Mr. Vich watched his son in sadness. He destroyed his own child's life. He made Tin's life different from any normal boy. He's a madman. What possess his mind to bruised and injured his son like some kind of animal.
He looked down at his hands. His hands has cuts and bruises all over. He stared at his hands with hatred. Even if his hands we're to cut off, it would never compensate enough. These are the hands that hurt Tin. They beat him without hesitation.
Tin eyed his dad's hands and to his surprise, it has bandages all over.
Tin - your hands…
Mr. Vich - Tin, I've learned my lesson. I was toxic. Now for the rest of my life, I will hold this guilt forever.
Tul shook his head at the sight of his dad's hands. Mr. Vich couldn't accept the past… so he punished himself. One time, Tul had to hire a personal guard to watch over him so he would beat his own hands.
Mr. Vich - Tin… (looked at his son as tears kept falling) Not a day goes by that I don't think of what happened. Not a day goes by without feeling the guilt on my shoulder. Not a day goes by that I don't miss you.
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