Four POV

I felt like killing someone right now.

To be specific, that someone was Zeke.

It was Tris' and Uriah's Testing Day and the whole day, he had not once stopped fidgeting. God, I couldn't even think about Tris without my stomach feeling like it was gonna launch into a musical number. It'd been nearly a year since our break-up and I still hadn't managed to get over yet. For the first few months, I was a wreck. I barely even spoke to Zeke in fear of him bringing her up.

The one good thing about our relationship was that it was pretty discreet, so we didn't have to go through explaining ourselves to everyone. But to be perfectly honest, I needed some explaining myself. It had been so abrupt and sudden, so random. Then again, so was our relationship.

I couldn't take it anymore. I swung around in my chair, and slammed my hand on Zeke's. He glanced up at me in surprise. "Don't make me cut off your fingers."

Zeke gave me a weak smile, "Sorry."

My expression immediately softened. I lifted my hand and placed it on his shoulder. "Relax, everything's gonna be fine."

He sucked in a deep breath, before letting it out in a dramatic sigh. "That's what everyone keeps telling me. That, and faction before blood," putting an extra emphasis on the last part.

There was a moment of silence before he spoke again. "What if they leave?" he whispers. "And who would I be to stop them?"

I wanted so desperately to comfort him, but I simply just didn't know how. All I could do was repeat, "Everything's gonna be fine." I tried using a reassuring tone, but I didn't believe myself for one second, and I doubt that Zeke did either.

"Why'd you change factions?" Zeke said suddenly, lifting his head to look up at me.

"What?" I understood him just fine, but I was trying to stall for time as I racked my brain for a reply that didn't include the words "my father beat me".

"Why did you switch factions?"

I shrugged my shoulder slowly, replying with a vague, "Abnegation just wasn't right for me."

He stared back at me, searching my eyes. I tried to remain as emotionless as possible. "Do you think Dauntless is right for Uriah and Tris?"

I shrugged again, "I can't answer that. Only they can." After a few moments I added, "And just you know, if they leave, it's not because of you. You're a great brother, but sometimes, people just have to choose themselves, you know? You have to let them be who they are."

I've never seen Zeke look so desperate. He stared back at me with wide eyes, his shoulders tense, and hands balled up in fists at his sides. "What if who they are...doesn't include me?"

I wanted to lie to him, I wanted to reassure him, even for just a second. But I just couldn't. "Then you just have to live with that."

---

Neither Tris nor Uriah showed up to dinner. It was quiet for the most part, mostly filled with Zeke and Shauna whispering quietly to each other. They've been dating for over a year now, but so far, I've heard nothing about a marriage or even proposal.

Zeke looked even more depressed at dinner then he was at work. He tried interrogating Lynn and Marlene, but neither revealed anything.

I left the four of them to continue their secret discussions and decided to go for a walk. My mind drifted away as I walked past door after door, until I ended up at Tris'.

Even my subconscious was attracted to her.

I turned around, about to walk away, when the door suddenly opened. Tris walked out and nearly crashed into me, but saw me just in time. All of a sudden, I felt an overwhelming longing for her touch. I almost wished she actually had ran into me.

"Oh, Four!" She paused, "Hi."

"Hey." I shoved my hands into my pockets.

She smile, but I could tell that it wasn't genuine. "What are you doing here?" She stepped out further into the hall and quietly closed the door behind her.

"Just...taking a walk."

"Oh. Well, I was just going to go and get some dinner for me and Uriah."

I immediately replied, "I'll walk you, I'm heading back in that direction anyways."

She nodded her head, "Sure."

She began walking away, and I hurried to catch her. We walked side by side, and after a moment of awkward silence, I said, "So...Testing Day."

"Yup," she nodded her head.

"How was it?"

She shrugged, "Honestly, it just made everything more confusing." Her hand brushed against the side of the wall, watching her fingers and avoiding eye contact with me.

That was not what I was expecting. "How so?"

She still refused to look at me. "I just got a result that I wasn't expecting, that's all."

"Wasn't Dauntless, I'm guessing?"

Finally, she turned her head to look at me, and gave me a playful roll of her eyes, but it was as forced as her smile. "You know I can't tell you that."

I nodded my head, "Of course." I paused, before hesitantly saying, "Faction-"

"Before blood," she snapped. "I know, that's what everybody keeps saying to me, but whatever happened to family? Aren't we supposed to make sacrifices for the ones we love?"

I tried forcing a chuckle, but it ended up sounding more like an awkward gasping sound. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think that you were Abnegation."

She stopped, a few feet away from the entrance to the dining hall. She just stood there, staring at me for what felt like forever. Her eyes bore into mine, and as hard as I tried, I couldn't force my gaze away from her's. I found myself getting lost, in those blue pools, mixed in with a darker gray than usual. Finally, she broke me out of my trance with a slight shake of her head.

Then she whispered, "I guess you don't know any better." And with a swift turn on her heels, she walked away from me.