Being different. Standing out. Expressing yourself. It was unimaginable. At least as long as you did not want to become the next victim of the almighty trio, how I liked to call them. Ruqayyah, Rania and Layan. If you became their target once you would never get rid of that status again. That is what they clearly showed by bullying Mariam. I did not know why they were so fixated on her, but I was sure that I did not want to steal this role from her.

Therefore I was more than stunned when I spotted our new classmate. Her appearance practically screamed to challenge the trio with her piercings, makeup, and black clothes. Honestly she amazed me right away.

I had to force me to rip my eyes away from her. She was sticking out as we were all wearing our plain school uniforms.

On the one hand I despised our uniforms. It felt oppressing to wear them. But the pressure to fit in was immense anyway. Because on the other hand the school uniform made us equal at least in one category. One thing less to worry about.

After the introduction, some rude comments from Ruqayyah and the struggle to find a seat, Noaf sat down in front of me out of all people.

"Thanks for offering the seat to her, Dina", I thought sarcastically.

How was I supposed to concentrate on the lesson now? And why did I have to get a crush on the new girl? And seriously ... love at first sight? More cliché had not been in for me, had it?

The ringing of the bell at the end of the day felt like my savior. I hurried to push my stuff into my backpack and headed to the bus to get home.

Inside the bus I chose some random seat, put my headphones on and looked out the window watching the students get to their own buses.

Suddenly someone kicked my foot softly. I took off my headphones while turning to the person. Of course it was Noaf. How had I not noticed her this morning? The question subsided when I remembered that I had been sleeping through the whole drive.

"Is this seat taken?", she asked me casually.

For a moment I was overwhelmed by the question. But after my short panic I managed to offer the seat to her.

"I'm (f/n) by the way", I introduced myself forcing me to stay calm.

She simply nodded mumbling a 'nice to meet you' before pulling out her phone.

I decided to go back to listening to music and she followed my example.

Two stations before mine Noaf left the bus.

At home I immediately entered the kitchen. Mom had scolded me for years that she wanted me to tell her about my day. But every time I tried to now my little sister interfered. So after a while I gave it up once again and set off toward my room.

On the next day at school we had P.E., the subject I dreaded the most. Not just because of the fact that we were supposed to get ourselves sweating during some ball game I did not have the necessary skills for. Or because I hated pulling down my whole team with me. What was worst about P.E. was getting changed.

Some paranoid voice inside of me was telling me that everyone around me would be able to tell that I liked girls during changing. That they would over-interpret some random look from me or whatever.

To my horror that was the exact thing that happened to Mariam today after P.E. with the difference that she was not even into girls. At least that was what I assumed. But of course Layan was up for some drama after getting a scolding by Ms. Jumana for throwing the basketball at Mariam.

"Guys! Did you just see how she grabbed me?" Layan's upset voice echoed through the changing room.

"But I didn't touch you. What are you talking about?", Mariam justified herself.

"Why are you lying, Mariam? We all saw you. Why did you do that?", Layan continued with her lie. I had seen that Layan had bumped into Mariam and now she was manipulating people like usual.

"Why are you even in here, Mariam?", Ruqayyah questioned.

Of course everyone believed Layan and told Mariam to get out. All kinds of insults flew toward her, although she had not done anything wrong. The nicknames felt heavy inside of me. That would be me if anyone found out about my sexuality.

Everything inside of me screamed to help Mariam, but my courage seemed to be stuck inside of me like a solid rock. So I could only watch Mariam fleeing out of the room as I was frozen in place feeling pathetic.

The guilt did not vanish over the next lessons. During the second break I finally managed to eat something, but decided to go for a walk instead of finishing my meal.

Honestly I was sick of living in fear that someone might find out about my sexuality. What was wrong about loving somebody in the first place? But standing up for myself would turn my life here at school into a living hell.

Suddenly I spotted Noaf running into my direction. Her face showed horror and anxiety.

"Noaf, what happened?", I asked her without wasting a thought on it.

"It's Mariam. She's laying on the ground next to an old bus and her head is bleeding. My phone gave up on me. Can you call the ambulance?", she replied quickly.

I immediately followed her request and soon later Mariam was brought to the hospital.

Noaf and I were watching everything from the side lines.

"What happened, Noaf?", I interrupted the uncomfortable silence that had erupted between us due to the situation.

She hesitated for a moment. "I dunno. I found her like that", she claimed.

"Ms. (l/n). The police would like to talk to you. You called the ambulance?", Ms. Faten reassured.

"Yes, I did. But I can't really tell you anything", I clarified.

Several people of our class had to talk to the police including Noaf and me. I had a bad feeling. Why had Mariam been at the old bus? And how had she ended up in such a state? The first answer that came to my mind was Layan. I did not even want to think about it.

When I was finished with my interrogation I joined my parents outside. I saw Noaf at the end of the road and could not help but run up to her after telling my parents to wait a bit more for me.

"What do you want, (f/n)?", Noaf confronted me first.

We were continuing to follow the road as she did not stop walking.

"You know what happened, don't you? And I think I know it as well", I alluded.

That finally made Noaf stop in her tracks. Our eyes met for a moment and I had to be careful not to stare.

"Listen", Noaf requested. "I can't get into trouble, okay? I got expelled from my old school and it took a whole year to find another school that would take me in. So I definitely don't know anything about this whole situation."

"But what if something like this happens again? Mariam could have died", I reminded her.

"I know", she replied frustration evident in her voice. "But do you know why I'm here on my own? Because my dad can't take a day off of work and my mom needs to take care of my little sister who has serious Asthma. More stress is the last thing they need right now. So I have to deal with the situation myself somehow", she explained.

"Fine ... Maybe you need a lift instead? As your home isn't too far away from ours", I offered.

I did not want to pressure her. After all I had not supported Mariam in the changing room either ... or the many other times she had been bullied before.

I watched Noaf walking up to her house and unlocking the door before disappearing behind it.

My parents bombarded me with questions as soon as Noaf had left the car, but there was not much I could tell them. I had no clue how to deal with the situation myself.

At home I immediately locked myself in my room. My parents were worried. It was not hard to recognize that. But what was I supposed to do?

Over the next two days that was the question plaguing me, stealing every chance from me to rest. I had nightmares about Mariam dying, about Noaf getting expelled and accusing me for it, about Layan and co. targeting me next.

Anxiety was filling me when I entered the school building again as we had not had any lessons since the incident. Today we were here with our parents to settle everything. Our whole class was gathered in a room to find out the truth.

My mum and I were sitting at the back of the room. She had tried to get me talking with no avail.

It shocked me slightly to hear from Ms. Faten that Mariam apparently did not remember who had attacked her. If Mariam had told the truth I could have confirmed her testimony, but now the decision was way more difficult. Despite worrying about this moment for the last hours I had not come to any conclusion.

"Ms. Faten. How can you be certain that one of our girls did this or anyone at this school for that matter? Couldn't it have been someone else?", one of the moms asked.

"We can be certain ... thanks to security cameras installed throughout the school. The footage of these cameras is what has given us reason to suspect two girls", the man next to Ms. Faten declared.

"Our two most important values here at AlRawabi School are accountability and honesty as you very well know. That is why we have both agreed to give one last chance to the girls who committed this violent act to tell the truth", Ms. Faten clarified.

The silence was oppressing. So they already knew who had done it anyway?! Actually I should feel relieved, should I not? Why was I still on guard?

"Ms. Faten." Layan raised her voice. "I guess it's finally time to tell the truth."

"What are you talking about, Layan?", Ms. Faten questioned. Her tone was sharp.

"There was an incident in the changing rooms", Layan proclaimed.

I could feel all color fading from my face.

"Are you the one responsible for what happened?", Mariam's mom wondered.

Layan's mom immediately interfered before Ms. Faten regained control over the situation.

"Well ... after P.E. we all went to get changed. And I noticed Mariam staring at me whilst I got changed. So I said to her: 'What are you doing? Please stop staring at me.' The next thing I know ... she got closer." Layan took a small pause. She was playing her act as the victim very well just as usual. I was sick of her manipulation.

"She got closer and ... she grabbed me."

Shock was clearly evident on everyone's faces at Layan's words. Layan's voice sounded broken, like she was about to cry. Nausea overcame me at her sick act.

"But Miss ... she is lying", Mariam interjected.

"And when I said I was going to tell the school ..." Layan continued to draw the attention back to herself. "... she threatened me. I didn't know what to do. I didn't say anything because I was scared. I was scared she was gonna do something worse. So when she came to me in the courtyard I was trying to protect myself. And then she grabbed me from behind ... I just wanted to push her away but ... she fell and smacked her head. I didn't mean to. You have to believe me. I didn't mean to."

"I swear she's lying. She attacked me. Don't believe her", Mariam claimed.

"Okay, Layan. Was there anyone with you at that time?", the security man asked.

"No. I was alone", Layan lied.

"No! Ruqayyah was with her. Rania too. I ..." Mariam was interrupted by Layan's mom and a discussion broke out.

Mariam desperately tried to defend herself, but the other girls started to confirm Layan's lie. Dina fruitlessly attempted to support Mariam, but as she had not witnessed anything her words were not counting.

As more and more girls raised their hands to agree with Layan that Mariam had harrassed her in the changing room the anger inside of me rose as well. And before I knew it I was suddenly standing in front of my chair. All eyes turned toward me now.

"Ms. (l/n)?", Ms. Faten encouraged me to speak.

My heart was beating like crazy and it felt like I could not get a word out, but I had to. I had failed Mariam a lot of times. If I let everyone believe Layan's lie now I would not be able to forgive myself.

For a second I caught Noaf's look. She was probably just as anxious as I was.

Layan and her friends were threatening me through their eyes.

"Layan's lying", I stated.

"W-What? How can you say that?", Layan replied still acting like the victim.

"Mariam didn't touch her. I saw everything. Layan manipulated the other girls and now she's trying to manipulate you. Everyone is scared because Layan can do whatever she wants without fearing any consequences", I explained.

I was surprised how calm and collected I felt on the outside, while my insides seemed to crumble apart due to the pressure.

"So all the other girls are lying, but you're telling the truth? What's your relationship with Mariam anyway?", Layan's mom questioned.

"I'm her classmate. That's all", I enlightened them.

"No way. I saw (f/n) and Mariam kissing behind the school building once", Ruqayyah claimed.

"That's not true!", Mariam interfered. "She's just trying to help me and to tell the truth. You're punishing her for that now?!"

"Maybe you should have thought about your actions beforehand, Mariam", Ruqayyah shot back.

"Girls. Please calm down", Ms. Faten requested.

"Ms. Faten. (f/n) is lying. She just wants to protect Mariam because she's in love with her, which Mariam obviously doesn't reciprocate. Why are they even at a girls school?", Ruqayyah questioned.

"Is there anyone despite Ruqayyah, (f/n) and Mariam who wants to confirm or oppose anything said?" Ms. Faten regained control over the discussion.

No noise but silence.

"Alright. As I unfortunately cannot tell with certainty what happened, Mariam you are going to get suspended for the next two weeks. I'm going to talk with your parents about the matter. Layan, you're getting expelled for three days. Hence the assembly is over now", Ms. Faten concluded.

"But I didn't do anything. Layan attacked me! Noaf, you saw everything! Why don't you tell them? Noaf!" Mariam protested as her mom literally dragged her out of the room. She was looking like an utter lunatic screaming around with injuries tainting her body.

I noticed Noaf's eyes on me after Mariam had left the room, as well as Layan's. My biggest wish was to get out of this room as soon as possible. My words had not made any difference for Mariam. The only thing that had changed now was my position. The almighty trio would definitely punish me for raising my voice.