"Mmhhhh."

Our lips connected again, my fingers twisting his hair and tagging on the black locks as we melted on each other's devices. The weight of Enos's body buried me into the coach, the pressure was a trigger, making my hormones activate. With every area of our body in contact, I could feel Enos's bulge against me and I tighten my legs around him.

Oxytocin, euphoria, the cocktails of chemicals being released by our bodies was allowing us to feel oh so good, encouraging us to claim one another and surrender to the pleasure.

"What does this even mean?" He whispered in my ears. I swallowed, enjoying the proximity and his endeavours. Enos kissed me as though I was the only woman in the world, as if there's no other that he sees and I couldn't help but want him more. I've never been kissed that way before, I know for sure. When you mean something to someone, it's always different.

"Enos." I called out his name as he kissed me gently.

"What are we doing Elisabeth?"

I breathed against his lips, "Please."

Enos paused for a second, his fingers caressing my cheek and his eyes studying my face closely. I witnessed a sadness in his diamond blue orbs and I placed my fingers on his own. "What are we doing?" He repeated with an agonizing sigh, as though defeated. Suddenly the moment we had shared became unbecoming.

I sensed his indecisiveness. And then he pulled away without looking at me, detaching his body from mine, getting off and standing inches away. I stared at him in confusion, still laying down.

"Are you alright? Why did you stop?"

His hair way messy, lips swollen, eyes focused on me and I quivered for a reason unknown to even myself.

"You enjoy doing this to me, don't you?" The tone of his voice wasn't anywhere near revolting, but rather sad and accusing and I doubled back.

"What do you mean?" I adjusted to sit up straight as I looked up at him.

"Making a fool out of me."

"What?" I stood up.

"Why did you kiss me Betty? What for?" My chest tightened from how Enos was shifting. "This thing we did right now, does it even mean anything to you? Does any of it matter to you as much as it means to me?"

I froze as he kept on talking. "Do you think I don't know? That the only reason I'm here in your house at this moment is because there isn't anybody else in your life but me, that's the only reason. And it's not because you feel the same way for me as I do for you. I was never an option for you Betty, I just happened to be at the right place at a convenient time."

I wanted to respond but he told me not to. "Don't even try to deny that Betty! You've always known about how I feel about you. And yet you put us in a situation such as the one that just happened despite knowing the fact that you don't feel those things back. And I've been trying, so so hard to accept the fact that you love that other guy, and desperately trying to stay in my place, to create that boundary so that I don't get hurt in the end. But you.......you keep on pulling me towards you and I find myself losing again and again. What even is this? A game? Play with Enos white's heart until it's time to go....."

"NO!" I retorted. "That's not what I'm doing."

"Really? Please stop with that." He was shaking his head, "I know for a fact that I've only been a distraction to you, a way of forgetting about all your problems, the person along the road, a mere convenience."

I wanted to cry.

All this time that's what he's been thinking, that's how I've made him feel, but none of that, I swear to God, that none of that was true.

"Do you even care?"

"Of course I do! How can you even ask that Enos?"

He looked sadder when I said that, "People don't use the ones they care about."

My heart shuttered right then and there, "I'm not using you." my voice was swallowed within itself. I know exactly how heart breaking it feels to be used, and I would never do that to someone else.

"Yes you are Elisabeth." He sounded distraught. "That's exactly what you've been aiming for. Because you can't lead people on and claim that you're not using them. I don't deserve this Elisabeth, I do not. How can't you see that you're hurting me with this?"

I held my head with one hand and tagged my hair with sudden frustration and pain. "I'm not leading you on, and I'm not and could never want to use you."

I wanted to scream it out. To engrave those words on my forehead and paint them in my soul.

"I don't believe you." He exclaimed, his eyes turned a darker shade that I never saw on him before. "And I don't think I can."

I walked closer to the person how has made me feel things again, and looked at him straight in the eyes, crushed to realise that this man that I've valued so much would think so little of his true role in my life.

"When I came back to this town, I was completely broken and shuttered inside. I had little to hope for, the desire to move forward was slowly drifting away, and you're right, I had nobody left who wanted anything to do with me. I lost my purpose, I had given up on love and I could only pray that I find happiness somewhere out there someday before I make my wrist bleed. I tried to be strong for myself, I tried to grow from everything I'd been through, but when I saw my mother on that hospital bed fighting for her life, I was terrified out of my mind. I was so scared that I was finally going to be totally alone in every sense of the word."

My eyes turned glossy, my heart pounding, "But then I saw you fighting for your brothers and sisters, and for your father, for a future, and I got strength from that. I wanted to be as strong as you, I wanted to be a better person because you were there to show me what it means to fight for living every single day. And everytime I was with you, I felt happier. You make me happy. You make everyone happy Enos. And I'm so grateful to whatever force in the universe that brought you in my life. You always defended me, you make me feel safe. And I wish I could repay you for everything you've done for me. Because when I had nobody, you were there, when I was afraid of the voices in my head, you were there for me, I owe you my sanity."

Enos exhaled, "Elisabeth....."

I placed a finger on his lips.

"You mean so much to me, Enos. Do you know how hard it is for me to visit Brianna at the hospital? But you being there every single time I visit her gives me strength." I placed my hand on his chest, above his heart as a tear dropped. "And it's really hard falling asleep because I'm always terrified, but then you hold me and I can breathe. I know that I don't deserve you, and I'm aware that I could live a million life times and still not deserve you, but I'd be the sadness of a human being if I'm to never see you again. You are not a distraction, you are the person I cherish with all my heart. And I honestly wish that I never pushed you away before, I'm sorry for not making you my centerfold. I'm sorry for making you feel that I don't love you, that I don't care. Sorry for making you feel like you aren't important to me." I choked on tears.

"Don't cry." He held my cheeks again, wiping my tears but they kept on falling. "Please don't cry."

"I'm so sorry." I told him. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I truly never wanted to___"

"Hush," Enos kept me in his arms, pulling me to his chest and caressing my hair. "Stop crying Betty."

"Please believe me." I feared that Enos would leave like everyone else in my life, that he wouldn't believe me. That he'd hate me. "Believe me, I'm not using you. I wouldn't." I clinged to his shirt.

I felt his lips on my forehead and I closed my eyes. "I believe you."

And a wave of relief hit me. "You do?"

"I'm trying to." He placed a hand on my cheek so I'd face him. "Those are the words that I've always wanted to hear. That I mean something to you." A smile grew on me.

"It's hard letting go of the past, but I hope that my future starts with you." I said. "I really want to learn to love you back, that someday it won't be this way."

Enos's eyes flickered, grew brighter. "I love you." He confessed, once, for the very first time he directed it straight to me. "Since the very beginning."

I thought I was done crying, but when another tear fell, I knew I wasn't. No man has ever told me he loved me, not in this type of way. Not like this, not as how Enos said it. As though his entire being depended on it. Completely sure and certain more than anything.

A shy happy laughter left me from inside, it came from the purest corner of the heart. For it beated faster than it ever has, and it wasn't in fear anymore rather in joy.

"God!" He exclaimed. "I've always wanted to say that." Enos chuckled and released a breath as though letting down a heavy load. "It feels good witnessing that reaction as I tell you that. The blush on your face." He gently pinched my cheeks. "So adorable."

I blushed harder. I'm glad that this argument didn't pull him further away from me but rather so much closer together.

"You're amazing." I proceeded to hug him again. "Thank you for everything."

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