During evenings like these my mind wonders and wonders to places I rather not think about.

It took some time for me to get up from the floor. An hour maybe, or two, probably three.

My body ached and felt sore. I didn't want to push myself so hard, I took things slowly.

I had to cover up any evidence of the previous event. I don't want Lucy finding blood on the carpet. She'll get paranoid. If I found red on the floor, I would've panicked.

I grabbed a rag and a bucket from the community bathroom. I could hardly see ahead with only one open eye.

No one noticed me and I was thankful.

I cleaned up the mess. It was a good thing my blood didn't dry on the carpet or it would've been hard getting rid of the ugly stain.

It was difficult moving around, my ribs hurt the most and then my face. It burned like hell. It was hard breathing and I couldn't stop chocking.

They really stayed true to their words. Merissa and Emily made a complete mess of me.

I don't blame them. Merissa is hurt and Emily is jealous. And I probably deserved it.

After cleaning up, I decided to give myself first aid.

This is probably the millionth time I'm cleaning my own wounds after being turned into a punching bag. I did this alot when I was younger. Except for that one time when James help me clean up instead.

I had a first aid kit in my bedroom while growing up. William was the only one who knew about the bullying.

Kids can be cruel. Teenagers are worse. My middle school and high school years where hell on earth.

I'm not sure which is worse, the years back then or now.

My life sucks. It feels sad admitting that to myself. But it's true.

I got inside the bathroom and took out the kit from the drawer. I removed my bloody clothes first, dumped them in the trash, and then got into the shower.

I watched the blood wash away slowly. The water was freezing. I prefered it that way. Its like cooling off.

After that, I cleaned up the wounds. I had bruises mostly on my thighs and face. I didn't look at the mirror though. I never look at the mirror in moments like these.

A few bruises were present on my stomach. I thought my abdomen would have lots of bruises but an ugly purple mark covered the area instead. The mark spread to my ribs.

I poured an antiseptic on the bruises, It stung and hurt freaking much. I had to bit on a towel to hold back any screams. I covered the wounds and sat in the bathroom for an hour.

When I was done, I dressed on my pajamas and laid on bed. I covered myself with the blanket from head to toes.

Lucy wasn't back yet.

I thought of things. I avoided thinking about Callum but I couldn't help myself. He popped in my mind more often than intented.

I trust him, I really do.

Why did the things Emily say hurt me more than I thought they would?

I care for Callum, he's my boyfriend and I have feelings for him. So perhaps that's the reason I'm hurt by her words.

I know they aren't true, but I don't know Callum that well yet. We've dated for a month, that's not enough time to really get to know someone.

I reached for my phone on the bedside table and got back under the covers.

No notifications. As usual.

I need to talk to someone about this. Someone who'll clear my doubts. Who would tell me the truth.

I stared at my phone for ten minutes.

I can't call Callum, I'm not in the right state of mind to confront anyone about anything. I shouldn't even confront him, I did something much worse to him.

But I need some sort of validation. If I don't get the truth then I'll feel way worse than I already feel. I need to know that Callum isn't using me like how Emily insinuated.

So I texted the person who has known Callum longer than myself.

"What do you know about Callum and Emily? Did they have something?" I typed and pressed send.

I didn't wait long, he replied seconds after. I knew he would.

"Why are you asking me about it?" He asked. "Why not your boyfriend?"

I sighed.

"I trust you'll tell me the truth." I sent the message.

"Don't you trust Callum?" He questioned.

"I do, but I'm not comfortable enough asking him yet." I replied. "Can you tell me if he likes her. Does he talk about her?"

"You're being paranoid. I can sense it." He wrote. "Did anything happen?"

A lot happened.

"I want to understand." I replied to him.

I don't want anyone to know about what happened.

I probably shouldn't be texting him. I know James is alot of things, a jerk included, but he's not a liar. He never lies to please people, he'll say what he thinks even if it hurts you. Thats how he is.

So I know he'd never lie to me.

"Callum doesn't like Emily. He's dating you not her." He confirmed. "Did you forget that?"

I stared at the screen.

"Really?" I typed nervously.

"Do you want to hear something funny about the whole Callum and Emily dynamic?" He asked me.

I think I do.

"Yes." I agreed.

I waited for the message.

"Callum would literally hide or run when he spots Emily anywhere. He can barely stand her. If he talks about her, it's probably to state how annoying and desperate she is." He said.

I couldn't hold it back anymore, I burst out laughing.

Leave it to James to make a joke in a serious situation.

"Are you serious?" I wrote quickly.

"Dead serious. He ditched almost every party this semester to be miles away from her. In short, Callum does not and won't ever like that girl." James added.

I smiled.

I felt a little relieved to know I was right. Callum wouldn't lie to me. He isn't using me.

I was also relieved that James told me the truth. I knew he would but the fact that he did speaks well of him.

Though he wants to have me, he still told me the truth about my boyfriend just to make me feel better. He stayed honest.

"I can't stop laughing." I confessed. "Thank you James."

I sent the message.

"I just want you to know you can talk to me." He replied. "I'm here if you need anything. Don't hesitate."

"As long as you stop trying to make me cheat on my boyfriend." I wrote seriously.

"Sure."

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