Happiness,

Everyone on earth needs it, but have so little of. And it has nothing to do with wealth, or friends, or long walks at the beach. Happiness is all about freedom in my opinion. And the world has little of that too.

I moved to New York City three months ago for college and the pursuit of a better life. My mother, Brianna, is currently in prison and I'm responsible for dealing with her financial catastrophe being the only close family she has left. My father has been out of our lives for years and nobody knows where he is.

"I think this is a terrible idea. You're only getting yourself into trouble. Places like those are very bad news and you know that, yet you go and get a job there." Will said disapproving. "What on Earth were you thinking?" He sighed heavily, dropping his jacket on my bed.

I replied as calmly as possible, "And what trouble is that, William? I'll be serving drinks and nothing else."

"It doesn't change the fact that you've now excellently qualified yourself to be employed at a club. That, my friend, Is the last place I imagined you working at." He announced while clapping his hands. "Congratulations! Elisabeth Wilson, you have successfully succeeded at disappointing me once again."

I didn't qualify myself, Meghan gave me this job. But I can't tell William any of this because he will disapprove even more once he finds out that Meghan is behind this. She is my mother's step sister and has been involved in shady dealings in the past. We were warned to stay away from her. But I badly needed money and she was my remaining option.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me Betty?"

"Calm down William, please. Let's consider it as a regular every day paying job with a standard salary."

"Stop it." He warned unimpressed. "This ain't funny."

"I never claimed it. I'm being serious about this job. It ain't a joke to me."

William scoffed. "Sometimes I wonder what the heck is wrong with you. This is not the time to be stubborn about something as risky as being hired at a nightclub, which is not a place for a girl like you to even be at. What's usually bothering you? Uh! In that head...."

"A girl like me?" I rephrased.

William narrowed his green eyes at me. "You know exactly what I'm referring to."

"Actually, I do not."

He huffed in annoyance, "YOU ARE VULNERABLE." The tone of his voice changed immediately. "Anything can easily go wrong there and it could lead to another compromising situation. Haven't you picked up anything from before? Do you want the same things to happen all over again."

I blinked once, twice, "That was then, this is now. And I am NOT a fragile young teenager anymore William. "

He cursed upon my response, "Bullshit. Thats a load of nonsense and you know it." William pointed at me. "What the heck is wrong with you? Did everything that happen mess up that brain?Are you ever going to learn from your past?"

"I'm trying to do that, but you keep bringing it up. It's hard moving on from something that is constantly being reintroduced."

It feels as though William is the one who finds it hard to forget the things that happened to me. He takes it harder.

"Then stop acting stupid." He snapped.

I averted my gaze from him.

William sighed, realising that he just lost his temper. "I'm sorry....for yelling at you."

For the nth time.

"Its fine." I dismissed immediately. I can't afford taking this way too far.

He stepped closer to me. "I mean it. I shouldn't have talked that way to you, nor brought up the issues of the past."

Doesn't seem so.

"Its taken everything in me to get past each day without driving myself insane but you always seem to forget that. I never wanted for any of that stuff to happen." I tried to speak in a steady tone. "And may be I was stupid for putting myself in those kinds of situations but I didn't deserve that. And I most certainly don't deserve this rant of yours."

William released a heavy sign. Rubbing his eyes harshly and then staring at the ceiling. "I understand that, okay." He insisted. "That's why I'm apologizing."

"Sure."

We were in my dorm room folding up the clothes that we returned from the dry cleaners. This is basically what we do each Friday afternoon. We try to be self sustaining adults by religiously cleaning our laundry and living space. These are stuff I should be doing with Lucy "my roommate" but who knows where she is.

"I'll be serving tables William. So please relax." I repeated for the millionth time. "I'll be fine."

Everyone does whatever they can to survive. All we can do is hope that there's a forgiving God.

"I still don't think you should be doing it." He frowned while pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"It pays good and you know I need the money. Plus, I'll be working nights so lecture time won't get interfered with." I placed a hand on his shoulder to calm him down. He worries way too much sometimes.

Will has been my best friend since middle school. We agreed to apply for scholarships here at NYU together because we got so attached. I'm grateful we made it.

I've come to realize that surviving New York on your own is harder than it seems. It's a constant struggle. I used to work at this barber shop near campus but it didn't pay me enough. And with my mother's financial disaster, I couldn't find a decent job that paid me well enough to met the attorney's demands. I never wanted to get this job. However there's nothing I can do.

" I'll help with the lawyers." He reminded.

"I know you offered. But I can't keep accepting all these favors from you. It makes me feel like I'm free loading." I stated my true feelings about this. Will has been so supportive, I don't want it to seem like I'm taking advantage of his kindness towards me.

"I don't think of you as a burden and You know that."

"I know but please let me deal with this my own way." I insisted.

His lips formed a straight line. And I felt so bad for refusing his help but I know I will feel way worse if I had accepted it.

"What will people think?" He raised.

There goes the inevitable question. People people people......

"What people? I have nobody but you in New York , and besides , I won't be starving just because I fear what people think of me." I said seriously.

And you'd be surprised to know that often people don't really care.

"What about James?" Will smirked mockily. "I bet you give fucks about what your golden man is gonna think."

"You had to bring him up."

"He's your man toy after all." He snickered.

"Don't call him that. James isn't a toy." I remind. He keeps referring to James as a tool. It's ridiculous.

"He will start doubting you when he finds out." He warned me.

"And won't that make you happy?"

I know exactly what Will is referring to. James's opinion of me will change the moment he sees me working there.

The man has a decent life and probably comes from a good family. And I was raised by parents who can't keep away from crime. So what do you think is going to happen if he discovers the real truth about me and my family? He will stay miles away. I can't risk that. Not now when I'm already into deep.

How would he even find out? It's a huge world we live in! New York is a big city.

"He doesn't need to know about any of this." I stated firmly.

"He might figure it out. What will you do when it happens? James is smart enough to notice the change." He questioned me.

A silence fell between us. Will has never been a fan of this affair I have with James. He was mad at me for nearly two weeks when he found out. He said stuff like "the guy is trouble" ..."you're ruining a relationship "..."I don't trust that jerk you are sleeping with" and a bunch of other logical reasons that made sense but I ignored.

James has talked about how his relationship with Merissa and how it bore no meaning anymore, the only reason they are together is because of something he wouldn't tell me. May be he loves her. I don't know....

Why else would he stay with her if their relationship is barely surviving? He says there is neither happiness nor comfort. That it's empty. But he still stays with her.

"I will know what to do when that occurs." I lied. I have no idea what I will do when it happens. I didn't even think about this when I accepted the offer I was given to. I was only thinking of affording proper meals.

"But what if someone assults you? What if...." Will paused looking at me with clear distress in his beautiful features. I moved closer to him and wrapped my arms around him. He hugged me back tightly.

"I won't be able to forgive myself if something bad happens to you." He breathed. And I felt how sad this was all making him. "The last thing I want is you getting into anymore trouble."

This man___"Trust me on this." I assured him.

"It's not you I have doubts with. I have trust issues with the rest of the world." He whispered, holding my cheeks in his hands and giving my forehead a kiss.

"I love you so much. And will be damned if anything happens to you." He said seriously.

"And I love you just as much. What would I do without you? Listen.. it's only going to be five months. After I pay the attorney and she's out of prison, I'll quit." I tried to ease the tension.

"Where will she live once out?" He asked.

After mother went to prison, no one was there to pay the mortgage so we lost our home.

"She has it figured out."

"You do know she will end up in trouble again,?" Will frowned.

And sadly, I know he's right. Trouble just always follows Mum somehow.

"She promised to change. Plus, if she screws up again, that will be the last time fixing the mess for her. I'm sacrificing so much to help her leave prison." I confessed. This is the last chance I'm giving her.

My mother is among the few remaining family members that I can still assosiate with. She may be behind bars, but I got nobody else close enough around aside from William and Meghan. The rest of my relatives are in deep shit, most of them are fugitives, those that got caught are in prison outside the city and the unlucky ones are five feet under now. And my big brothers disappeared last year with three of my cousins and I haven't heard from any of them since. Mum thinks they're dead.

This sort of life isn't for anyone. Crime is lethal to everyone involved.

How I wish things were different.

"Betty.."

That ship is sinking.

"Betty."

Sinking deeper and deeper.

"Earth to Betty.." Will tapped my shoulder. I zoomed out of my headspace and turned to look at him.

"I'm here for you. No matter what." He promised.

I smiled.

"And I'll be here for you too." I assured. He reached for my hand and held it tightly.

Then...

"Can you two love birds help me order food." Lucy "hushtag roommate" burged into the room from out of nowhere as usual. Where on Earth does she always sleep at?

"And pain killers." Lucy added.

"Do it yourself." Will rolled his eyes and quickly let go of my hand. "Where are you from anyway? Gosh !you stink of alcohol."

She looked worn-out.

"Mother fucker. Say that again. I dare you." She warned him.

"You look so gorgeous my sweet cupcake. Come to Papa." He teased and trust me, she did not look gorgeous at all. Her blonde hair was a mess, her blue little skirt had an ugly red stain. And her crop top was so wrinkled I wondered what exactly happened to it. And not to mention all the purple red love bites around her neck. She must have really been busy.

"You're lucky I got this killer head ache, I would have made you join the world of the dead asshole." She spat her words bitterly and threw herself on her bed. Will smirked.

"Hope you join me. I'm sure you're already dead inside anyway."

Okay, William is going to regret he said that.

_______