a quick note to my readers, I've finished planning out this entire story and sadly we only have like three-four chapters left after this one. I was planning on expanding this story to 60 chapters, but this ending is much better than my original, and we will probably have a sequel if you're all up for that.

hope you enjoy this chapter.

***

harry

When my graduation day rolled around, I found myself still mourning the best friend I had lost, and that left an empty feeling inside my chest that never seemed to go away–even now. The memorial slideshow for him forced tears to surface again, and the empty seat next to me made my bones cold. It was still so vivid in my mind and I always found myself thinking back to that bitter memory, to that feeling inside my stomach when I wrapped my hand over the rolled up paper that I called my diploma–my entire school life ending with a piece of paper. It felt wrong to me then, and it still felt wrong now that I was living my life without Sean. I was enjoying the sun in the morning under the warmth of my blanket, and I was going to college every day, learning new things and living life.

A cruel reality that would haunt me for the rest of my life.

It was late noon when the sun has faded and the skies were a crimson blue. I was in my shed, smoking a joint as I painted a portrait of a woman's figure when my sister barged through the door. Her green eyes always matched mine in the evening time, a little tired and dull in colour. Gemma frowns, inhaling sharply as she notices the smoking lingers from my lips.

"Thought mom told you not to smoke in here,"

I ignore her. "What do you want?"

"Paul is here, him and mom want to talk to you." Gemma replies, she softens her gaze as she stares ay me, but it only makes the frown etched on my brows linger longer.

I turn my head back to the canvas, dipping the brush in more paint. "I'm busy."

Gemma groans. "Fucking hell, Harry." I can hear her hand slam into the door with force, a loud slap echoing through the shed walls. "They're getting married."

My stomach drops with the brush in my hands, I still left the smoke in my mouth after I inhaled but I pulled the joint from my lips, keeping my back to Gemma as my heart thumped loudly. It felt unreal to me in that second, like one of those annoying dreams you have once and a while and then you always think about it during quiet moments. My blood buzzed with the anxiety inside my stomach, my bones reached out for me to hit something and although I ached to–I concealed my anger.

I put the end of the lite joint out in the cup of paint filled water, swallowing the rising vile in my throat.

"They're getting married?"

"Yes," Gemma replies. "They're getting married."

I finally turn around, analysing my sisters features. Her blond hair was tucked back, a light mauve tone under her eyes from the lack of sleep she had from working so much, her lip was bitten into from nerves as she stared me down.

"That's," I clear my throat, finding my emotions as I scan through my head with a deep inhale. "That's okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah," I chuckle dryly. "Who am I to get in the way of my mothers happiness?"

Gemma concludes this statement, blinking a few times as she adjusts to the words ringing inside her head.

"Her happiness is more important." Gemma speaks out loud but it's obvious she's telling herself these things, obvious that she's adjusting to the idea herself.

I take of my apron off my body and hang it up, tidying the area slightly before making my way over to the door. I still smelt of smoke and my eyes were stinging slightly as the house lights illuminated against my skin and eyes, but I grabbed my sisters hand and lead her into the living room with enough confidence my mother and Paul both look shocked as they noticed us.

It was obvious we knew what was going on, and they both saw that in our eyes and expressions. Expectation to me acting out was inevitable, both adults eyes lingered on me as I sat down and let my sisters hand go. But when I clenched my fists, I hid them in my lap as well, swallowing that feeling inside my throat and taking a deep breath.

I watched my mother take Pauls hand, a gentle caress and soft smile with the glint of his brown eyes. I sighed out loud, I knew the feeling that both held inside their hearts. So, I swallowed my pride and lifted my chin in confidence.

"Congratulations." I nod to both my mother and Paul. "I'm happy for you both."

"Yeah," Gemma interjects. "Me too."

"Oh," my mothers eyes watered as she smiled widely, she quickly stands to her feet with happiness dripping down her red cheeks, my sister and I mimic her actions as we stand in unison. "My babies." We are both engulfed in a hug and somehow, with all the anger inside me and the pain of watching my mother marry a man I didn't particularly like–everything was okay.

I hugged her back, and she hugged me back. I shook Paul's hand, tightly with his knuckles cracking slightly. But it was okay, and my mother smiled so brightly, perhaps happiness was all that mattered to me in that moment, but it was so worth it to see her cheeks glow red and her smile widen as Paul looked into her eyes.

***

"My mothers getting married," I slurred my words slightly. "So I am getting shit faced tonight, and hopefully in the morning I don't even remember it."

Richard chuckles, taking a sip from the bottle he held. "That's my plan too, my boy—forget about my ex."

It was almost december, so all of us decided to throw a party at Richards house in celebration of the year ending. Granted he was recently dumped by his girl–Megan Daly, a tattooed heartbreaker from London–he was still eager to celebrate this cold november night.

Lola was next to me as we all gathered in the living room, her breath fanned my ear as she lazed on my shoulder. But, as I take a long sip of my drink and let that bitter taste swirl around my tongue, I remember those intimate touches and gazes of Amber. I still hadn't told my blue eyed girl, and I don't think I planned on doing so ever, as her jealousy streak wasn't exactly clean.

She was always paranoid, especially when I started college that I would cheat on her. I found it hypocritical but I understood, her anxiety always got the best of her and I understood that of course, but this time I knew she'd overreact given the circumstances.

I smile to her as she leaves a soft kiss to my neck, blue eyes gently watching me with admiration.

I made the final decision as the bitter liquid of vodka ran down my throat an hour later, that I wouldn't tell her, ever.

"Come here," I heard Sierra chuckle loudly next to me as she grabbed Ethans's hand, pulling him from the couch and to the floor where every one was dancing. I watched as they moved through the crowd, smiling wildly at each other as they moved to the beat of the music.

Time had passed slowly, alcohol ran threw my veins and made my bones tremble and blood burn. I blinked my heavy eyes as I turned to see Lola talking to a few people next to me, she was oblivious to the surroundings around her and as she smiled with the lean of her body, she looked just like that girl I fell for so long ago which made my heart flutter. Sure things had changed, more than I liked, but she was still that blue eyed girl I became obsessed with.

"Styles," I turn my head to see Richard smirking at me from across the living room, a small bag dangling from his fingertips. "Room?"

I don't think in that moment, my head nods and my feet move but my mind still stays entwined with the daydreams of Lola. Even as I leave her there I think about her and the way her eyes glowed under the living room lights. She played on my mind as we walked up the staircase and down that narrow hallway, then into the darkness of Richards room.

***

As I stated at the beginning, this story is coming to an end soon so hopefully I can get it done and written soon for you guys. I'm sad to end it, but, I think it's time.

Make sure you vote and maybe leave a little comment, and perhaps let me know what you're wanting from the ending of this story?

Hope you enjoyed this chapter.

-A