"Mommy, mommy wake up!" A little green eyed boy says shaking me .

What , who is this boy?

"Who are you?" I ask him .

"What do you mean mommy? I'm your son , remember, Junior?" He says scrunching his face in confusion .

My son? This kid looks at least seven , I'm about five months pregnant now . He does look like Ace , but no.

I look around , my surroundings. It looks exactly like my apartment .

"Hey ,Junior . Where's daddy ?" I ask . I have to see Ace .

"He went to work . Mom are you okay?" He asks me .

"Yes , I'm fine ." I reply smiling at him.

"Mommy can we go for a walk?" The little boy asks me .

We head out , what surprises me is that there's a park right outside of our apartment building.

As we walk down the narrow path in the park , I watch women playing with their kids.

"Mommy , you have to fight." He says .

"What?" I ask him . This is a queer boy .

"Momny , you cant just give up . It's not possible . You have so much waiting for you in out there .

You have to fight , for me , for daddy , for grandma , for aunty Beth and Kim . Please mommy. " he says. I look at him .

Mechanically , my head nods . I stare straight in his eyes as he smiles .

"Push me?" He asks sitting on one of the swings.

Later we bead back to the apartment.

"Hey baby." Ace says when we walk in.

"And hello little man." He says picking the little guy up.

"Hi Ace ." I say and his smile falls .

"Kiddo , why dont you head to your room . Mommy and daddy need to talk ." He says .

I watch as the little boy walks away down the white hallway .

"Are yo angry with me?" He asks .

"No , no . I'm not angry." I say to him . Am I angry?

"What's wrong baby?" He says getting nearer and nearer.

"Nothing is wrong . I just... why didnt I go to work today?" I ask him .

"Baby , since Junior was born , you decided that you want to be a stay at home mom ." He says looking confused .

Okay this is not real , I'd never want to be that .

"I remember. " I lie .

"Lies?" He asks .

"No." I reply, he knows when I'm lying. But at this point, I'm fine with anything. This can not and will not be my real life .

"Junior!" I find myself yelling.

"Yes mommy?" The little guy runs really fast to me .

"Junior , why are you telling me to fight?" I ask him .

"Mommy , you just have to fight . You have to hold on . If you dont then I wont be there , and daddy is going to kill himself. Please fight mommy." He says .

"I will fight my boy." I say to him .

Then silence where has he gone.

Junior , Ace?

The entire backdrop changes and all of a sudden I'm at an empty dark place . No one is there with me .

Constantly I feel someone's hands on me , or I hear someone's voice speaking to me . My mouth doesnt want to move.

My body is also very still and doesnt move . Junior constantly comes to me and reminds me to fight .

I'm doing my best , I'm fighting with all that I have to my name .

For him , for Ace . For momma , for Beth and Kim for everyone I love and who loves me too .

"Mommy , I'm hungry." Junior says .

"You want a sandwich . Mommy can make one for you." I say to the little guy . And he nods with a big smile on his face . He is gorgeous.

"Evening family." Ace says as he walks in. I feel his eyes on me the entire time.

"Daddy . Mommy is making sandwiches and she said she'll make one for you too." He says. I nod and begin making one for him too .

He walks over to me and pulls me into a hug . I know that there is a possibility that this isn't real. But what if I never return to reality , then what?

I'd rather enjoy this fantasy for the rest of my life than death .

Then everything disappears again . I feel something pocking into my skin .

I can't react to it because of whatever it is that's making my body numb and still .

Then suddenly I feel them , the warm arms covering my body . Reassuring me tht it'll all be okay. And I trust that it will be .

"I love you." I hear , but its mumbled . And sounds very distant as if someone said it from blocks away .

I have no idea how long it has been since I saw reality with my two naked eyes .

I hear whipping and crying . It's not exactly clear so I dont know which it belongs to. How I long to tell whoever it is that it will all he alright.

I feel a sting . As if someone is cutting into my body . The pain is unbearable.

"Mommy , fight." Junior says .

And I do just that. I fight, for him .

A reassuring hand holds mine . As if they know that I need it .

"Fight , mommy , fight . Dont give up just yet." He says .

I push further. I close my eyes very tightly in attempt to zone out the dull pain.

Everything hurts, until something is injected inside me.

I'm going to fight , for my son and for my husband . No way.