I walk out of the stairs and onto the rooftop movie centre , and I see her again . Although this time , the sun is not dancing beautifully on her skin as it had done earlier .

Instead she looks at peace under the sky , the night sky . My favourite kind. See , I had come here for my daily ritual of staring at the stars and counting the days I'd get back to her outside prison. But I found her here , and my latter mission is aborted just for me to find out what exactly intrigues me about this girl .

Cassandra.

That's her name right? She looks so nonchalant.

Dont get me wrong here she is very beautiful, very , very attractive. But I am not at all into her. She's just a sight for sore eyes that's all .

She stands then heads to the projector and gets a blanket , then she lays it on the floor and then lies down too. She stares up at the sky .

She looks so deep in thought, I dont even want to disturb her . I head back to my room. And yea , I said my room because I don't share with anyone .

I prefer sleeping alone , it'd be really awkward having someone else sleep next to me if not her . The reason I'm here .

I tuck myself into bed and almost immediately sleep overtakes me . And just as I always fear the dream replays itself , I've been having the same dream for 3 years now . Ever since it actually happens . Every night I see it .

I fall asleep .

The dream

I wake up sweating , tears stinging my eyes . And then I come to a shocking revelation. The girl that was in my dream was not my girlfriend.

But how ? Why ? Do I have feelings for her ? No , I must be remembering her because I spent all that time staring at her earlier . Nothing serious , I dont ever want to dream like that again .

And miraculously that dream (with Cassandra in it) hurt more that it ever did with my actual girlfriend.

No! I refuse to have feelings for her . I refuse to love . I hate love and I hate Cassandra. I will not fall into this trap again .

I will not fall inlove with another girl only to have to stab someone else to death . I do not want that for myself .

I dont want to die in prison just because history likes to repeat itself . I refuse , that is not my fate . So no more Cassandra.

I hope you're listening heart , because you're the stupid one here . Tomorrow just go to the classes and come back to your room, avoid her at all costs .

But I miss this feeling to be honest . Loving someone.

What no! I don't love her!

I do not love Cassandra Miller . I do not ! I hate her .