"The jury finds the accused guilty. " the blonde lady says .

Gasps echo around the room . Bella and Kayla begin screaming and jumping up and down .

Kerrie looks at me with sympathy in her eyes . But it's not as if she didnt know that I'd be going to jail , although she said was that she wanted us to be good enough for me to surve half the time .

I sit back down and throw my head into my hands . This is what I wanted right, why does it feel so wrong .

Why do I feel so empty . I know why , because the two reasons why I'd be in prison for however long are going to live their lives happily with each other .

And I'm going to be alone , sad and a convict . I'm so sad , I feel like crying . I feel like screaming .

Someone taps me on the shoulder , I pop my head up just enough to see Beth's brown hair and her green eyes .

"Beth , what are you doing here ?" I ask her .

"I wanted to see you for the last time ." She says back to me .

" That would be tomorrow, you're going to see me for the last time tomorrow ." I say . She nods , she looks a bit uncomfortable.

"There's something you need to know ." She says , I give her a look that tells her to proceed .

"Momma adopted me , I'm your legal sister now ." She says . She's now rubbing her elbow .

"When?" I ask , almost sounding like a whisper .

"The day after the case started ." She says . I nod taking it in .

"I'm sorry Cassiey , I would've told you . I just didnt know how to tell you ." She says , sounding defensive.

"Oh , okay . I need to go." I say , I see the van man standing at the door .

"No Cassiey , I can explain ." She says .

"I'm sure you can Bethany . But I really have to go ." I say . If that guard leaves me here , I'll be going to jail for hitting Kayla and Jason and murdering Beth .

"You have to listen to me . Please , just listen ." She begs .

"As much as I would have loved for this situation to not have happened, as much is I wish you would've told me , and as much as I want to listen to your explanation which is completely unnecessary, I have to go . My transportation is going to leave me here ." I say , pointing to van man .

"Oh " she says , and I nod .

"Bye Beth ." I say and I move right past her .

I hear stifled sobs . I dont know how to feel honestly , I feel so numb.

I mean my head tells me that I should be feeling hurt , but I dont feel it .

I agree that I should be hurt , I mean it sounds as if I'm such a disappointment to my mother that she had to adopt another child just to make herself feel a tad bit better. I mean Beth is perfect .

Well , I wont be there to disturb their peace . Immediately when I get to the holding cell , I lie down . And within seconds I fall asleep .

I hear a loud thud , and I look up . Its Peter, I look over to my side and I see four books . The entire edition of Twilight , my all time favourite romance story . He told me he didnt have them , this means he bought them for me .

"Thanks Pete, I really appreciate it ." I say my voice sounding hoarse .

"What was the verdict ? " he asks , almost like he's afraid to know .

"Guilty ." I say back . He nods , I feel like he wanted them to say not guilty .

"I'm being sentenced tomorrow, that means ..." I begin .

"...that you're being moved to the big house tomorrow . I'm going to miss you Smith ." He says , and completes my sentence . I nod .

"Hey , it's not the end of the world . And dont forget what I told you . With good behavior, you'll be out of there in no time . Think of it as being grounded by your mother . Just act nicely and you'll be out, simple . I know you'll be okay . And dont find new guard friends and forget about me .

I bought you those Twilight stories for a reason , read then okay? . And its five am , Kerrie will be here in two hours to take you , so I suggest you start with your beauty stuff or whatever ." He says . He knows me too well .

I get up and walk behind him . I reach the showers , and immediately when the piping hot water touches my skin , the tears pool out . I feel so fragile right know .

I've really lost the love of my life , I thought Jason and I were going to die together and all but no , not at all . We didnt even turn thirty together .

When I walk out of the shower , Kerrie is standing outside . Did I really just shower-cry for two hours?

She hands me the stuff then leaves , everyone is in a sour mood . Shouldn't they be happy that the monster is going to jail ?

I dress up in white loose pants , a white sleeveless blouse and white high heels, my hair is pulled neatly into a ponytail and my face is makeup free .

When I walk out of the shower room, Kerrie gives me an approving smile .

The drive to the court is really silent . I dont even talk as I dont know what to say .

We walk in and just like last time , I go straight to my seat and I drop my head into my hands.

Soon the yelling man , does his job .

He yells for us to rise . I'm going to miss you too yelling man .

"Be seated . Seeing as yesterday , the accused was found guilty , the jury and I put our heads together trying to figure out which punishment would be enough . The accused has accepted that they have done the crime and have apologised, we have decided to be a bit lenient on the accused .

Of course she will not be let loose with only a slap on the wrist , but she will be given a punishment meant for juvinile convicts ." The judge says .

"To keep things short , Mrs Smith . Your are convicted to ten years of prison for attempted murder . With no bail .You'll only be expected to serve half of the time . But that will only be effective if our behavioral and psychological facilitator sees to it that you are ready for the real world . If not then you will serve the given time ." She continues .

"Court adjourned, guards take her away." She exclaims .

Gasps and murmurs roam around the entire room . I turn my face to the side and I see Kayla and Jason .

Jason's face is blank but Kayla's is covered in a smile that is supposed to loom innocent but instead looks like a constipated chicken .

The guard come up to me and turn me around . He puts the cold metal cuffs around my wrists and pulls the tightly together . I flinch in pain .

This is really happening , I'm going to big girl jail .

And poppa if you're listening or watching from somewhere . Tell your wife that I'm sorry I'm not enough for her .