You woke up in the hospital wing the next day. The windows were still blocked out to keep out the sun as they were anytime someone in the hospital wing had a concussion. Dim lights lit the room but you still squinted trying to get your bearings. Once your sight came into focus you saw Severus sleeping beside you on the bed. Your face cradled against his chest and his arms wrapped around your waist keeping you from falling off the bed. You didn’t want to get out of bed. It was Saturday so there isn’t any class today but you would have to wake up and eat then take your disgusting potions, it just wasn’t fun. Instead of waking Severus you just laid there for a while and admired him. He was so peaceful, relaxed, and handsome. You cared about him more than anyone else and seeing him so care free made your heart swell.

He started to stir and you quickly closed your eyes and pretended to be asleep. You heard him let out a deep breath as he wiped the sleep from his eyes with one hand. He looked down at you and started to stroke your hair mindlessly. Glancing at the clock he saw it was almost time for breakfast. He knew Madame Pomfrey would most likely ask him to watch you to make sure you were eating since she knew your history and traumatic events like this could cause you to relapse.

“Y/N, you need to wake up darling. Madame Pomfrey will be bringing breakfast over soon and you need to eat it to take your potions and to get your strength back.” He shook you gently.

“M’tired Severus.” You mumbled, not wanting to get up.

“I know but you have to. I promise you’ll feel better if you do. If you eat it’ll get your strength back up.” He tried to persuade you.

“I’m not hungry. I just woke up.”

“We’ll wait a few minutes then you are going to eat some of your breakfast.” He wasn’t asking. His ability to play nice and be patient was wearing thin. You were thinning and he was beside himself with worry. He felt his fuse getting shorter and shorter no matter how much he tried to be understanding and sweet he was so scared that it made him angry. He was doing everything he could not to take it out on you because he knew it wasn’t your fault but he was at the end of his fuse, he didn’t know what else to do.

“I’ll try to eat a little.” You conceded when you saw the concern in his eyes. You didn’t want to worry him, that was the last thing you wanted.

“Thank you. How about you get changed out of those clothes while I get your food from Madame Pomfrey.” You were still in your Quidditch uniform from yesterday and it had to be very uncomfortable at this point. You agreed and Severus went to get both your breakfast from Madame Pomfrey. She had 2 eggs on Severus’ tray along with 3 sausage links and 2 pieces of toast. Then on yours she had 1 egg, 1 piece of toast and 1 sausage.

“Try to eat all of yours, Severus. Maybe if she sees how much you eat compared to her she will notice that she’s not eating a healthy amount of food. Maybe she just doesn’t know what she’s eating isn’t enough.” She understood it was a long shot but she was doing everything she could to try and get you back on a healthy eating schedule without having to involve Dumbloredore or Professor McGonagal. They would be her last resort.

“I will.” He nodded as he took the tray back to your bed. You had just settled back under the covers and were waiting for him. As he approached you, you lowered the covers on his side signaling him to get back into bed with you. He handed the tray to you and got into bed like you wanted.

“What do you have to do today?” You asked as he placed your tray in front of you. He started eating and you took a bite as well, knowing he would be upset if you didn’t eat.

“I will be with Professor Slughorn helping him grade papers and organize potions.” Severus was brought in as Professor Slughorn's assistant not long after the accident so he spent a few hours every weekend helping him with his work.

“Can I go with you?” You asked softly.

“You know you have to stay here and rest. Madame Pomfrey won’t let you leave.”

“I know but I don’t want to be here alone. Please, we could sneak out. I promise I’ll sit in Slughorn's room in a dark corner or something. I just don't want to be here by myself.” You plead.

“Y/N it’s important you stay here for observation so Madame Pomfrey can give you your potions on time. Now take a few more bites of your breakfast and you can take your potions.”

“What all is she making me take?”

“One for pain, one to heal your arm and your anxiety potion. You have to take them all, no exceptions.” You and Severus continued to eat and you did end up finishing most of your meal this time. Afterwards it was a struggle to try and get you to take your potions.

“I don’t wanna Sev, they taste bad. Can’t I just take my pain and healing potions. I don’t want the anxiety potion.” You asked.

“No you have to take them all Y/N, you’re never going to get better if you don’t take them.” He insisted.

“Please Severus.” You whimpered. As much as he wanted to give in to you he knew it was what was best for you and he had to stay firm on this. He couldn’t let you start to believe missing potions was okay.

“No, now take it or Madame Pomfrey will give it to you through injections. Is that what you want? To be given three different shots everyday?” You shook your head no. “I didn’t think so, now take it.” He held your pain potion to your lips which you took with no problem. The same was true for your healing potion but when he put the anxiety potion to your lips you closed them tight.

“No Sev.” You pleaded.

“Open Y/N.” He ordered. You shook your head. “If I have to get up I will get Madame Pomfrey and she will give it to you through injection. Now open, last chance.” Tears pricked your eyes but you opened your mouth and let him pour the liquid into your mouth. A few sobs left you as you swallowed feeling disgusted.

“Sh, sh, sh.” He hushed you sweetly, pulling you against his chest.

“Please don’t leave me here.” You begged.

“How about I go get Narcissa, hm? You two can spend some time together while I’m with Professor Slughorn and the moment I’m finished I will come back and spend the rest of the day with you. Would you like that?” You nodded. “Okay, I’m going to go get Narcissa. I'll only be gone a moment. I promise.” He kissed your hand after he stood. You watched him bring the breakfast tray to Madame Pomfrey before heading out to get Narcissa.

Severus found her in the Slytherin common room with a book in her hand. Lucius was nowhere to be found, she was alone for once. He walked to her and stood in front of her.

“Narcissa, I have to go to Slughorn’s and Y/N doesn’t want to be in the hospital wing alone. Could you go stay with her until I get done with Slughorn? I should only be there for a couple hours.”

“Of course Severus. Maybe I can get her to open up a bit. Talking to other girls is always easier than talking to a man.”

“Thank you. I need to be off, I’m already late.” He nodded a thank you at her and left for Slughorn's classroom. NArcissa quickly made her way to the hospital wing.

“Hey Y/N. How are you feeling?” She asked as she sat on the chair next to the bed.

“Physically I’m fine. But I’m just kind of messed up in the mind right now.” You confessed.

“You can tell me anything Y/N. If you need to talk about it, I'm here.” She took your hand in encouragement.

“I just. I feel conflicted. I have no idea what I’m doing or what I should do. I care about Severus, I want to be with him but I don’t want him to take his anger and insecurities out on me… B-but I want to kiss him and hold him.. I don’t know what to do.”

“Y/N… We’ve all noticed that you haven’t been yourself since the break up. You’ve been sad. Depressed. It hurts us to see you like this and Severus is beside himself with worry. We want to help you but we need you to be willing to talk to us, to help yourself. You need to take your potions, we all know you haven’t been. We know about throwing up, not eating, starving yourself. We’re all worried about you. Please let us help you. We don’t want to go to your head of house but we will.” She pleaded with you.

“I didn’t want to do all of it. I f-felt I had to. I had to get thinner. I needed to lose weight again. H-he was so proud of me for eating I didn’t want to upset him. I didn’t want to let him down. S-so I started throwing up so he would still be proud and I would lose weight.”

“Y/N, he was proud because you were getting better. Forcing yourself to vomit after eating isn’t any better than not eating at all.” She took both your hands and forced you to look at her. “You are not overweight Y/N, and even if you were we would all still love you. When we look at you we don’t see your weight, we see your smile, your kindness, your humor and so much more, but your looks are not one of them. We love you for you.”

“I want him to find me attractive, Cissa. I want him to be with someone as attractive as him.” You confessed.

“Y/N, when you care about someone the way you care for him no one will ever be as attractive as them. I think Lucius is way more attractive than me and I have realized that no matter what I do I will never find myself as attractive as him because to me he will always be the most attractive person in this world. Trust me Y/N, he thinks the same thing about you. He thinks you are the most beautiful girl to grace this earth. Please don’t destroy yourself to reach a standard you will never be happy with.”

“I’ll start taking my potions again. I’ll start getting better. I want to do it…For him.”

“I know you do. He will be so proud to hear you say that.”

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A few hours later Severus came back from Slughorns to see you smiling and talking to Narcissa. He stood at the doorway for a few minutes and just watched as you smiled and laughed. He missed seeing you smile, being so carefree. It was you, the Y/N he remembered. Slowly he approached you both and sat on the bed beside you.

“And what is going on over here?” He smiled down at you. You wrapped your arms around his middle and pushed your face into his chest.

“We were just talking.” Narcissa replied, smiling as she saw that you and Severus haven’t really changed.

I’m glad to see you smiling again.” He brushes your hair out of your face.

“She has something she wants to talk to you about. I’ll see you back in the common room, Severus.” Narcissa cleared her throat as she stood.

“Okay Cissa, thank you.” Severus nodded.

“Thank you for staying with me.” You thanked as well.

“Of course.” She left and Severus readjusted himself looking at you fully.

“What did you want to talk about?”

“Narcissa told me you all know about me starving myself, my depression and just everything. I want you to know that I’m going to get better for you, just like you're trying to get better for me… I thought since I was gaining weight you wouldn’t find me attractive anymore. I didn’t want to lose you so I stopped taking my potion because it made it easier to lose the weight…. I thought I did it because I wanted you to love the way I looked but the truth is I wanted to like the way I looked. Now I know it’s going to be hard and I might not like it at first but I will get used to it. To being a normal weight instead of being all skin and bone. Y-you were so proud of me and I didn’t want to let you down so I thought if you saw me eating you’d be impressed.”

“So you started forcing yourself to vomit after.” He finished for you. “Y/N your weight doesn’t matter to me.”

“I know, I know that now Severus and I promise you I will take the potion, I will get better… We both have things we need to fix about ourselves and I am willing to do it for you like you are doing it for me. I want to get better for myself and for you. I promise I won’t hide anything anymore. I’ll eat I’ll take my potions I promise just.. Don’t give up on me.”

“I would never give up on you Y/N.”

“I won’t give up on you either.”

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Sorry it's taking so long to update guys I'm trying but I've gotten so busy lately. I'm going to try to post at least post this story once every 2 weeks hopefully more.