You sunk into yourself "who... am I?" you spoke aloud, you felt a pang of guilt run through you before a wave of numbness took over. 'You're better than him' the voice whispered, almost comforting you as you fell into the lie. Accepting it was far easier for you and for it. It was a voice, a thought, something you couldn't quite place within yourself. It was that part of you that only you could know, and it was the part of you that would slowly tear you to pieces.

Rubbing your arms you felt a sudden burn, a craving close to the one you felt with your cigarettes. Though most definitely far worse for you than they ever could be. Staring at the castle, you decided to take a small stroll around the halls before breakfast. Taking small steps towards the stone structure you felt yourself become fully numb, a pretend aura of pride illuminating from your being.

"(Y/N)!" turning you came to face a certain pair of red-headed twins, who were grinning from ear to ear. "oh" you exclaimed in a dull tone, you saw George's grin falter slightly at this but you were pretty sure he brushed it off quickly. "We were wondering if you wanted to do some pranks with us-" "Like you used to," the twins asked happily, it had been a long time since you'd even spoken to the two of them; let alone done any pranking with them. Being lost in thought you hadn't noticed yourself being dragged off by the two, that was until you felt George place his hand on your waist. Jumping slightly you glared at the boy "What the fuck are you doing?" you scowled, tugging yourself out of their arms though it wasn't without a small amount of resistance from them.

George stared at you wide-eyed while Fred held his hand close to his chest, "(Y/N)... What's going on?" you heard a voice speak from behind you, turning again like you had done not too long ago. You found yourself inches from the face of Hailey, her expression held a mixture of emotions: angry, sad, confused and in a strange way happy. Though you had no idea why she would be happy to see you, you had been avoiding her for months now. 'Maybe she misses me-' your thought was cut off swiftly 'No. She wants to use you... just like the boys' the voice got to you more than usual. It struck a specific chord you didn't want to feel.

Silently enraged by what you had thought, you strode past her without a single word of an explanation on what had happened, continuing your stroll of the castle. As usual, you went to class to do your work, went to meals to eat and went to your dorm where you did mostly nothing at all. You stared at the ceiling as you zoned out from reading, the need for another cigarette crawling under your skin. Letting a sigh leave your screaming lungs you swung your legs over the couch you were laid on, quickly peeling yourself off it to begin walking to the bottom of Hagrids hut.