《When The Heart Lies | ✓》[43] Numb
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It was an evening full of food, cheers and laughters. After celebrating enough in a posh restaurant, Aarush had started to pleading to spend some time at the old fort that was nearby.
Sakshi didn't seem much interested until Shrey agreed excitedly. It was a big roll of eyes from Aditi that made them all chuckle loudly.
"Way too cheesy," she commented when Aarush took her hand and told Shrey and Sakshi that they would be taking a stroll of the lake nearby. He had offered them to come along earlier but both were quite tired.
Aarush grinned, intertwining their fingers to make her groan more. He knew she pretended to gag at all the cliché stuff but secretly, she liked it.
"Yes, it was. The tacos and that pasta I couldn't speak the name of. You ordered and now, I want to walk because I am feeling like my stomach would burst."
Shrey chuckled, looking at them. "They seem perfect for each other."
Sakshi smiled, happy to know that from someone else. "Yes, they are. His smartness and her stupidity. Wild combo."
Shrey furrowed his eyebrows, looking at her. "She isn't that ignorant, you know. She is bold enough, and takes care of him in her own way. But of course, you wouldn't want to call any other girl smart." He teased.
Her eyebrows raised, seeing the change in his mood. From being all cheery to now all naughty, he gave her all of his attention.
"That's not the thing. You know, I haven't been good in studies that much. Smart?" She scoffed, remembering the old days. "I am not."
Shrey's smile faded as he taunted himself. Forgiving him for what he did was surely not a smart thing to do. But he was grateful for her kind-hearted and her immense love that he could still see in her eyes yet couldn't even talk about. Goosebumps would rise on his skin by the mere thought of it. He would feel scared of offending her or upsetting her, even when he had given a little hint before the verdict's day.
The families who were there with the children had started to leave. Only the couples were still there in the fort and groups of tired friends. It was a beautiful weather with sky slowly darkening and air turning cooler despite the high pollution in the city.
"For putting your image in danger by coming into the hospital just to see me, wasn't smart at all." He said, quietly, looking at the front.
Sakshi was surprised with his words as she looked at him and smiled. Tilting her head, she teased, "But was it comforting?"
He blinked, staring far at the lake from the old bricked path they were sitting at a point high. "Comforting for my soul that didn't want to be in this body again? Way too much."
Sakshi stiffened, smiling nervously. "I didn't mean to remind you-"
"It was me who brought that. Don't worry about it." He looked at her. "I am glad, I am alive today. To know that how wrong I was. To have chances to make my parents sleep at night peacefully, knowing that now I was safe. To rectify all the mistakes I did in my life. To learn from my past, better my present for the best future."
She breathed slowly, not being able to hold his sincere gaze. She looked away, feeling her heart beats turning erratic.
"Your parents already believe in you, Shrey." She managed to smile, to encourage him. "You yourself told me that of all, they were highly affected by these tragedies. Why wouldn't they be? Slowly, everything will get back to normal and you'll see them not worrying about you."
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He stared at her, liking what she said. His eyes softened as he showed some curiosity. "What about your parents? They must be proud of you too for turning into a gorgeous, independent daughter."
Sakshi gulped and felt her heart dropping at his question.
"I am sure, you are brighter than the Rathore when he was of your age?" He asked lazily, wanting to see her talk passionately about her family.
Sakshi's eyes betrayed her instantly. They turned stunned when she looked at him, gulping slightly. She breathed slowly, feeling her heart shrinking in nervousness. She never told him. What would he think of her after she tells him?
She closed her eyes and opened them before taking a deep breathe.
"My parents are dead."
As if someone threw a bucket of cold water on him, Shrey widened his eyes. His heart started beating faster. "What?" He said loudly. "No way. That's not true. I saw your father in my brother's engagement photos. Yes. I did." He tried to remember carefully.
"Yes, even your mother." He smiled widely at her. "I saw your pics on Facebook. Yes, I remember seeing your Diwali pics." He stared at her questioningly, it wasn't humorous of her to talk that way.
Sakshi gulped shakily, her throat tightening. "Shrey," her voice coming out nervous. "They are my Uncle and Aunt."
Shrey narrowed his eyes, not actually getting this in his head. He twitched his lips. "What?" He asked innocently for her to repeat.
Sakshi took a long breathe, goosebumps rising on her skin, terrified of his reaction. "Raghav Bhai is not my real brother, Shrey. I am his cousin sister. His uncle's daughter," she explained as if telling a kid.
Words slowly started to sink in Shrey's mind as images of her being with Raghav's parents formed in his mind. He remembered the time when they were together before, Sakshi used to talk about her family a lot. But she never called them her Uncle and Aunt. She would always address them as her parents.
He stared at her in shock. "I don't understand."
Sakshi's mouth shut as she blinked slowly, not happy to talk about this. Last time she had mentioned her parents was to share her family details with Aarush and Aditi in the beginning of their college life here.
Tears filled her eyes as she slowly told him, "When I was little, my parents died in a road accident. After which, Tau ji accepted my responsibility and I became a daughter he never had." She smiled sadly at him, not getting any reaction from him.
"I was way too young that Tau ji and Tai ji hid this from me until I started to understand things and asked them myself about my parents. My friends during third or fourth grade maybe, would mention their mom and dad in many conversations and a curious me was confused. Raghav Bhai was smart enough to skip the topic and lull me to eat sweets and chocolates. One night, they all decided and told me."
Shrey looked away from her, feeling numb. He didn't know how to react to this sudden news he was supposed to know from the beginning. He shook his head in deep thought, thinking he never made Sakshi comfortable enough so she could ever share this with him.
How cruel was the fate? How could God do this to someone so innocent like Sakshi?
He just couldn't believe that the girl he used to call a spoilt-brat was an. . . orphan.
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Sakshi let out a nervous laugh. "I know, I never told you before. I intentionally did that," she glanced at him, looking embarrassed. "It was a silly thing to do. My friends filled my ears that time. They said that guys would not give me much attention if they get to know I was orphan. Moreover, Bhai always told me to never mention it to anyone because it didn't matter since they meant me as their own daughter and sister. And the other reason was that so no one could bully me because of it."
Shrey wasn't looking at her anymore, thinking something and worrying her. She turned fully to face him, putting her hand closer to his but not having the courage to touch him. "I never thought it was that important to tell-" He looked at her with his eyes blank on her. "I. . . I am sorry."
Shrey's heart was numb. He didn't know if he was supposed to smile at her encouragingly that she was brave living in this world without her parents or be upset with her that she never told him about it.
"I never really felt like I lacked something in my life. Something like parents," she smiled to herself, sadly. "Tau ji and Tai ji have always been so caring and loving. They would scold me if I am naughty. They would appreciate my achievements. They would take decisions on my behalf just like my real parents would have done."
"Bhai is the one who wouldn't only behave like my real brother but even get angry if someone even talks about me being an orphan. I have never really felt like an orphan, truthfully. I feel, I am very lucky to have them in my life. My parents are up there resting in peace."
Shrey's nose twitched as he gulped slowly. He looked aside, trying to clear his mind but nothing was helping him understand this moment. His nostrils as a sudden anger blew in his mind when he felt utter the guilt for playing with her all those years ago.
"Why did you hide it from me?"
She opened her mouth, "I told you, my friends brainwashed me-"
"You didn't really have any true friends. Period." His eyes caught her in a dominating stare.
Sakshi was speechless.
He blinked and looked away. "We were close," he bit his lip. "Even if I was having some cruel intentions, I knew you believed me more than I thought you did. You told me about everything. For you, I was the only person you relied those times."
Sakshi scoffed bitterly, making him look at her immediately. "I am not supposed to justify you that. I told you enough reasons. It's not like you really cared those times or telling you, would have melted your heart and stopped you from playing with mine," she spoke out before she could even realize that she was getting angry on him.
The words stabbed his heart directly, Shrey couldn't look in her eyes anymore. He lowered his face, his injured pumping in the fury he felt for himself.
Sakshi breathed heavily, looking at the front, observing a married couple walking hand in hand. Looking away, she flared her nostrils and clenched her jaws.
"I am sorry," came his low voice.
Sakshi gulped, her heart fluttering immediately. She closed her eyes and refrained from looking at him.
"I didn't mean it that way. I just felt that there was more to it." He gulped. "And it's hard to digest this. I. . ." He looked at her. "I wish I could go back in time and delete those pages of my life, where I have hurt you immensely."
Her eyes teared up, but Sakshi breathed to calm herself.
"I was so wrong and ignorant. I deserved these tragedies in my life," he whispered, more to himself. His hands fisting on the bricked-path as he tried to gulp down the guilt. "I am a monster."
"I didn't want to get your love by any means of sympathy," she confessed, still not looking at him but feeling his sudden gaze on her face. "I didn't want you or anyone else to pity me."
Shrey sighed heavily, now being able to accept it all. His hand reached for hers as he covered it, making her look at him.
"Your family is amazing," he told her. "So are you."
She blinked slowly, understanding his words and ending up smiling slowly. The warmth of his hand on hers, made her stomach flip.
"I am sorry for asking that stupid question. You have all the right to keep your thoughts and secrets. And I totally was dick who god-knows-how would have behaved after knowing that," he said, smiling apologetically. "I will do my best to make it up to you for what I did. I will earn your forgiveness."
Those could be shallow promises, Sakshi thought. But seeing the determination and guilt in his eyes, she anyway nodded.
"Do you have any memories of them? I mean do you even remember-"
Sakshi sucked in a huge breathe, glancing at him. Shrugging her shoulders, she answered, "Not really. I don't remember them walking or talking. Barely glimpses of them. Their smiling faces and some moments like mom bathing a little me. But I can't live those memories. I don't really remember them and not even feel bad about it."
Shrey collected his lips, shaking his head. "Does your uncle or Aunt ever talk about them?"
Sakshi smiled widely. "They do. But of course, when Bhai is not there. My father was a bank manager and mom was working under him. Though, they didn't know each other and found themselves arranged by means of distant relatives. Isn't that cool?"
"Yes, it is." He observed her hair blowing away, making her look ethereal with that wholeheartedness shown on her face. He could feel the pink clouds surrounding him that he looked away.
"When I meet my mom's family, they all too talk about her. They would tell me her favorite things, hobbies, that I look like her." She chuckled. "But Tau ji says that I resembled my father. I have these thick eyebrows just like him and dark eyes which I got anyway through Rathore genes."
Shrey observed her and narrowed his eyebrows. "But those lips aren't like your Rathore brother. I am sure they are of your mother's. Thus, that smile too.'
Sakshi blushed heavily, watching him staring at her lips. Pushing a strand behind her ear, she awkwardly moved her hand from beneath his. Shrey removed it slowly but only to smirk at her shyness.
"But I know, they were kind and great people. Mom were an elder. She used to take care of siblings well. Even now, I see the pain in my maternal uncles' eyes. Dad was quite intelligent. He wanted to study and get a job rather than handling the company."
"Just like me," muttered Shrey.
"They left quite bunch of property on my name. They left everything," Sakshi spoke to herself but Shrey had heard. "But they were great parents, I know."
Shrey's lips straightened as he spoke, "God always takes the great ones." He saw her smiling at him, her eyes almost glistening. "Leaves the bad ones which is why, he didn't took me." He scoffed, making fun of himself.
"I am glad, you aren't great, Shrey."
He chuckled, looking sincerely at her. He could see the longing in her eyes, the want and sadness too.
"Me too," he whispered, giving her the look that could explain the feelings he was going through these days and nights.
She was making him crazy with the thoughts of them being together. Shrey wanted to take a step but before he could even think about it, he heard footsteps coming towards them.
"I feel like placing a mat here and sleep peacefully," moaned Aarush while stretching his arms, observing them. "What did you guys do? Some love talk? Eh?" He teased.
Aditi cleared her throat in humour while Sakshi couldn't control the shyness covering her face. Shrey grinned watching her.
"We were watching the scenery," Shrey told them.
Aditi smirked at him. "Or each other?"
Aarush bit his lip, enjoying both of them blushing. "I am fangirling here," he whispered in Aditi's ear. "Oops, fanboying? Or whatever is the term."
Shrey got up from the path, giving Sakshi a hand as she took it and got up with his help. "Let's go. My mom would be worried," he said.
Aarush gave him a cheeky smile but didn't say anything. He could feel the tension around them. Both looked as if they needed more time together.
He caught Aditi's hand and started walking out of the fort, towards the parking. While Shrey slowly walked along Sakshi, putting his hands in his pocket.
Just as he saw that Aarush and Aditi were tens steps away from them, Shrey took a long breathe.
"Do you remember what I told you before the verdict's day?" He asked.
Sakshi looked at him, looking away and gulping.
He knew she did as he further added, "I can't stop thinking about it, Sakshi." He stopped in his tracks, making her stop too as he held her wrist.
Sakshi could feel her heart flying in uncertainty.
"I. . . I want you to give me another chance."
Her eyes stunned on him. "I already gave you-"
"No. Not just being a part of your life." He stared at her. "Being your life," he confessed truthfully. "To give me a chance to rectify all my mistakes and make better memories. Win your faith and prove you, that the boy you met four years ago wasn't the real Shrey."
Sakshi kept staring at him, thinking if that was what she ever wanted since the day she came into his life again. This was what she had been dreaming about since the day she met him for the first time. But why wasn't her heart at rest listening these words from him? What was wrong with her?
"Let me show you who the real Shrey is. Let me know you more. Let me prove ourselves, how great we can be together?" He asked, hoping for a reaction from her.
He had expected her to smile, to gasp like she would do in surprise. After all he knew that she loved him ever since they met. He wanted to know that the love for him was still as wild as it was before in her heart.
But to his disappointment, she looked numb.
"Sakshi?" He whispered pleadingly.
"Sakshi?"
They turned towards the parking lot, watching Aarush actioning them to come faster.
Without any answer, Shrey watched as Sakshi started to walk away from him, leaving him standing there blank.
_______
Tossing and turning, Shrey kept thinking about the conversation at the fort. He couldn't understand what had turned wrong. Why wasn't she reacting?
Did she even love him?
His heart was drowning in worry that maybe, Sakshi wasn't in love with him anymore. He knew that she wanted it from the beginning. She was independent and bold, yes but she still loved him. She should have been excited and thrilled about it.
But she remained quiet with this poker face on in the car. She didn't spoke and it hard started make her friends doubt him too.
Was it all some kind of revenge?
He blinked rapidly, thinking hard. Now, when he was falling for her, she was stepping back. Or did the tragedies in life made his charm faded in front of her? He wasn't as dreamy for her as before?
Shrey bit his lip, thinking hard. Sleep was miles away from his mind. He couldn't stop thinking about her being ignorant to his desires, his want. He had started to feel self-conscious.
Was she offended by the conversation about her parents? Shrey thought deeply. Maybe, she thought that he was sympathising by telling her that he wanted to make a new start. He didn't mean it that way. He just couldn't collect up the courage to confess that he wanted them to be together.
That he was falling for her.
Maybe, telling her about it just after they had a conversation about her dead parents, proved her right. She didn't want him to like her because he pitied her. These were her own thoughts. He was being misunderstood.
"Fuck," he muttered to himself, getting up and taking the phone from the side-drawer.
Resting himself on pillows, he clenched his jaws in determination, calling her.
The bell rang. No one picked up. The bell went off.
He cursed, dialing it again. Biting his lip, he could feel his heart bursting out of his chest, it was beating that wildly.
The bell went off again.
"For God's sake, damn it." He gritted his teeth while calling again. "Pick up. It's not that late. It's just eleven, man."
Breathing hard, he could feel the need to take his pills for controlling the anxiety. But he didn't want to. His whole focus was on confronting her. He looked at the phone screen and was about to cut it off when the call was finally received.
A very lazy voice filled his ears. "Shrey?"
He could feel his heart fluttering all of a sudden. "Sakshi? Did I wake you?"
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#For Offline Purpose#Credits belong to the AuthorGu Shishi, a master of traditional Chinese painting, transmigrated into the role of a cannon fodder in a cliché novel.The cannon fodder female supporting character was switched at birth. She had barely spent a few days with her biological parents before she was tossed into the wolf's den by those same parents. Her parents, having no heart to send their fake daughter with a heart disease to live a hard life, forced the real daughter into becoming the replacement. Gu Shishi was sent away to marry the big villain - the rumored evil, cruel, and wife-cursing first young master of the Huo's.On the very first day that she had transmigrated, she had to face her fated tragic death....Luckily, she had also inadvertently discovered the path to altering her fate!- The more gifts she received from the big villain, the longer she could live and the more cheats she would gain!System:(Wealthy Housewife System, Initiated!)(Remaining Life: 8 minutes and 56 seconds)(Recharge to extend your life.)(Method of Recharging: Receive Money or Valuables from Wealthy Husband.)(Received DIOR Bobbin Net Smock x 1, recharge value: $15,000!)(Received FENDI Black Hooded Sweater x 1, recharge value: $10,160!)(Received Givenchy Single Strap Mini Floral Print Pleated Skirt x 1, recharge value $180,695!)(Recharge Successful!)(Note: 24 hours additional life for every $1,000.)
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