《Becoming His Male Empress (BxBxMPREG)》45- Feeling Regretful
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...General Lei cherished his wife so much was simply because she was a huge spirit stones bag, How could he not love such a woman?, To General Lei she was the fairest beauty in all of Tang Qin Shang even if in actuality she really
Jiang had been moved to his room and his wounds were treated by the emperor's most trusted doctor that had been brought by Lu Han. Even though both the doctor and Lu Han knew Jiang was a man and an ugly one at that due to his current facial appearance, they wouldn't dare tell anyone about it.
The emperor who was already on his way to his courtyard couldn't stop himself from wanting to come and check on Jiang so he changed directions.
when the emperor stepped into Jiang's room he noticed that the doctor was gone which meant that he had finished examining Jiang for now and given him the best pills needed to heal him quickly from within, The emperor also saw that Lu Han was trying to change Jiang's blood-stained cloths which must have been something the doctor told him to do but he didn't bother confirming his theory and just ruthlessly kicked the man in the butt and sent him flying outside Jiang's room. He then took up the duty of gently changing Jiang's cloths himself.
Jiang's eyes were shut and he looked as if he was having a nightmare, As the emperor tenderly attended to Jiang he suddenly called out the name "Qinqin, mother". As he said this tears began to full down from his eyes. Jiang felt like he was back in that time where his father, brother and sister betrayed and abandoned him and it was only his mother who gently touched his face and assured him that all was well, she stood by him, even when he became so hideous looking.
When Jiang's elder brother and sister came over to throw stones at him, laugh and mock him for been disgusting and ugly, she would kiss him gently on his forehead and constantly remind him that he wasn't ugly, that beauty was from within and that he had the most beautiful heart,. She would apologize for not been able to protect him because whenever she tried to Jiang's abusers seem to torture him even more.
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When Jiang couldn't take it anymore and had sworn to one day kill everyone in General Lei's manor that had wronged him and his mother after finding out by accident that the reason for him been a trash was because Madam Lei had poisoned his mother before she gave birth with hopes that both mother and child will die during the labor, his mother had ruthlessly slapped him hard for the first time. "Never say such evil words again, revenge isn't always the answer, my son is better than that, you are better than them!" Qinqin had seriously scolded him but how could he forgive them for all the evil they have done, his hate for that household was just too much but he couldn't go against his mother's wishes so he shut off and locked away those painful and bitter memories, even after his rebirth. When his 'family' had once again betrayed him for some reason he couldn't bring himself to hate them as he unconsciously didn't want revenge because he didn't want to disappoint his dead mother.
But after so many betrayals from the people he held dear, including Jun Tang's recent actions, Jiang's hidden memories were triggered.
Seeing the pain, he brought upon Jiang broke Emperor Qin Jie Huang heart. .He realized that Jiang was more pitiful than him, he had suffered much more just from what he remembered from Lu Han had reported. Jun Tang had listened to the report at the time but didn't 'hear' or 'understand' what Lu Han had said because all his mind could think of then was 'he been betrayed and deceived. He hated those two things the most in this world and thereby became completely irrational.
The emperor's brows creased the more he thought of Lu Han words, he should have listened properly, he shouldn't have allowed his past to cloud his brain and make him muddled headed, he remembered beating Lu Han severely for lying to him, for lying about his Yuer, for saying she wasn't who he thought her to be. So when he was proven wrong and he realized Lu Han was indeed telling the truth he was so angry at himself then for falling for a 'deceiver' even when he knew in his heart that Jiang had no choice but to deceive him but his hatred for the general and 'that enchantress' was too deep and in that moment he couldn't see the sweet Jiang before him.
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The emperor felt truly remorseful, he really shouldn't have listened to the voices in his head that told him that Jiang betrayed him, that Jiang had that damn general's blood running through his veins and was an enchantress who deserved to die. The emperor didn't understand himself, one second, he is saying he didn't care who his Yuer was and the next second his past makes him forget his previous reasoning allowing him to become blood thirsty.
More interestingly, the emperor couldn't help but wonder why he was a sound elemental if at the right moment he couldn't 'listen' to all what Lu Han had said about Jiang's past. He was feeling enormously regretful because he was pretty clear about Jiang's circumstances that he didn't even need to hear Jiang explain anything because Lu Han had already told him as Lu Han was the best at uncovering the truth.
The Emperor felt that he was a hypocrite because just like how Jiang hid his identity for specific reasons he also had hidden his true identity from Jiang. Even when he went to spar with Jiang, he put on his black hooded robe which covered his red hair and a silver mask which covered his face as well. He hid his true self because he wanted to get to know Jiang not as the emperor but as a normal person.
Qin Jie Huang knew Jiang had no choice but to do what he did so his barbaric actions towards him was really un called for, he was undeserving of Jiang He whispered into the sleeping Jiang's right ear.
He was sitting by Jiang's side on the bed and had removed Jiang's blood-stained cloths to wipe his body from his shoulder downwards. He wasn't in the right frame of mind to gawk at Jiang's sexy, smooth, tender white body so he didn't think of how it greatly contrasted with his hideous face. Both his face and body appearance were worlds apart in appearance and texture but the emperor only felt pain when he saw the numerous scars he inflicted that had not disappeared from Jiang's body yet.
After dressing Jiang in his inner robes and covering his body over with fine silk to prevent the cold from disturbing him, Emperor Qin Jie Huang said again, "I am sorry for wronging you, I will tell you a secret Actually you are the first person this emperor have ever felt the need to say sorry to." He looked at Jiang tenderly while caressing Jiang's creased forehead with his slender fingers and then he peaked Jiang's forehead slightly, it was a very quick kiss but it carried with it his regret and determination to do better , to be better.
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A/N (SUPER IMPORTANT)
I REALLY NEED TO SPECIALLY THANK THE FIRST READER THAT MADE A COMMENT ABOUT THE EMPEROR LOVING JIANG DESPITE HIS APPEARANCE LOOKING UGLY BECAUSE THAT INSPIRED ME TO WRITE ALL THIS RECENT CHAPTERS (THAT COMMENT WAS MADE WAY BEFORE I WROTE THE CHAPTER ABOUT JIANG'S IDENTITY BEEN EXPOSED AND I EVEN TOLD THE READER THAT HE HAD INSPIRED ME BUT I JUST DIDN'T TELL HIM OR HER HOW.
WHEN I READ THAT COMMENT I ROUGHLY GOT THE IDEA OF ICE JEWEL ( JIANG 'S VEIL) UPGRADING THEREBY HAVING THE ABILITY TO CHANGE JIANG FACE AND JIANG GETTING CAUGHT BY THE EMPEROR RED HANDED AFTER HE CHOSE TO USE ICE JEWEL 'S NEW SKILL TO CHANGE BACK TO HIS PREVIOUS UGLY APPEARANCE..... SO THANKS FOR INSPIRING ME EVEN WITHOUT KNOWING THAT YOU DID.
TO THOSE OTHER READERS THAT ALWAYS COMMENT I REALLY NEED TO THANK YOU BECAUSE YOUR COMMENTS MIGHT MEAN NOTHING MUCH TO YOU BUT SOMETIMES IT GIVES ME INSPIRATION ON HOW TO BETTER WRITE THIS STORY.
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